You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....

[Adam_W]

A few more.

...you have an AV graft made from the fuel line off an old Chevy.

...you've considered the possibility of running your blood pump with a Hemi engine.

...you regularly spear small rodents with your fistula/graft needles (and then you use them in your access).

...you reconfigure your machine to play a Hank Williams song whenever it alarms. 

[kitkatz]

You have the alarm on your machine play the Dixie song when it alarms!

[Rerun]

You burn your supply boxes with your Christmas tree. 

[okarol]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....

You've ever shot a deer from your dialysis chair.

You dialysize while barbecuing spam.

You have a Bud Light pool table light hanging over your dialysis chair.

[Adam_W]

You use quills from a porcupine as your access needles.

Your last words before crashing on the machine and passing out are "Hey, y'all watch this!"

[kitkatz]

You bring a fishing pole, lawn chair and a tackle box with you to dialysis so you can pass the time fly fishing.

[Sluff]

Your last words before crashing on the machine and passing out are "Hey, y'all watch this!"

  You crack me up Adam.

[Bajanne]

These are absolutely hilarious!!!   I can't even add since it isn't part of my culture.  Some day i will tell you guys about Redlegs, though.

[Adam_W]

Your machine has a gun rack on it.

[jbeany]

Now it just needs a cup holder with a Nascar logo on it.

[poohwade]

Your machine has a gun rack on it.

thats awesome.

[Amanda From OZ]

omg i love these so funny!! 

[kitkatz]

Put a hat of the end of the rifle for the hat rack!

[Earlinda]

Y'all are so funny!!!  roflmao!  I needed to read this before dialysis today.  Things have been entirely to serious lately...

Earlinda

[Adam_W]

You and your dialysis buddies get into NxStage vs. Fresenius brawls instead of Ford vs. Chevy.

[kellyt]

You might be a redneck if when giving friends and/or family directions to your dialysis clinic you say "If you pass the Dairy Queen you done gone too far".

[kellyt]

Or if you plan your dialysis treatments around Nascar race schedule.   

[kruep]

I actually had a home hemo pt state that he was going to put up signs at his old clinic advertising:
   
            "Donnie's bootleg dialysis, come on over if you need an extra treatment one hour $25, 2 hours $50 bring your own needles"

kruep

[jellybean]

 

I'm so loving this stuff! DON'T STOP!!!!

[Hawkeye]

You come to this post looking for ideas to fancy up your setup.

[okarol]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....

... you call your nephrologist, "dude."

... you've ever shot someone over their TV volume.

... your tech carries a wrench and a comb in her back pocket.

... your center's bathroom deodorizer is a box of kitchen matches.

... if you've ever driven a tractor to dialysis.

[Ken Shelmerdine]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if you dialyze in your underwear.

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if instead of saline you use beer.



Very good topic.....I wish I had thought of it.   

What a great idea. Put beer in your PD bag. Wow instantly pissed.

[Ken Shelmerdine]

I've had this idea for ages maybe this makes me a redneck but why can't we have remote controls with our Baxter cyclers so you don't have to get out of bed to switch off  drain alarms?

[Hawkeye]

I've had this idea for ages maybe this makes me a redneck but why can't we have remote controls with our Baxter cyclers so you don't have to get out of bed to switch off  drain alarms?

Not to rain on your parade, but they want you to have to get up to check the alarms in case there is something wrong.  Safety not convenience on this one.

[tamara]

Just caught up on this thread, some funny ones there