You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....

[Adam_W]

I thought this might be fun. You might be a REDNECK dialysis patient if...

(these are primarily related to home dialysis)

You set your machine on an old cable spool and have a chair made out of cinder blocks.

You custom order your machine from Fresenius to include a built in beer cozy.

Your machine has a gun rack on it.

You secure your fistula needles with duct tape.

You have to shoo the rodents and stray dogs out of your supply closet

Any more?

Adam

[Sara]

Those are good!   

[Rerun]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if you dialyze in your underwear.

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if instead of saline you use beer.



Very good topic.....I wish I had thought of it.   

[jbeany]

. . . when your home dialysis machine breaks down, you put it on cinder blocks in the yard.

Great post idea, adam!

[okarol]

You might be a REDNECK dialysis patient if...

 You have a Confederate flag painted on the dialyser.

 Your lap blanket is camouflage.

[Adam_W]

Here's a couple more:

You go into deep depression when the dietitian tells you to go easy on the cheez-whiz and SPAM.

You use old garden hose to redo the plumbing in the trailer to accommodate a full-size hemo machine.

Adam

[RichardMEL]

You watch Jerry Springer back-to-back while on the machine

You yell "USA! USA!" as you take your needles out

You make your wife (who is also your cousin) carry your supplies from trailer to trailer

[Joe Paul]

 You might be a redneck dialysis patient if..... you come up with good replies to this thread
LOL couldnt help it 

[kitkatz]

there are three or four dialysis machines sitting on blocks in your overgrown front and backyard.

[Hawkeye]

there are three or four dialysis machines sitting on blocks in your overgrown front and backyard.

Improved version....when the lawn is "mowed" for the first time in 10 years there are three or four dialysis machines sitting on blocks in your front and backyard

[Adam_W]

When you and your sister have a baby, you name him Phos-lo.

[goofynina]

  y'all are so bad *crackin open a can o'beer*  more, more, gimme more 

[Adam_W]

Your dialyzer is two old beer bottles taped together.

[Rerun]

You might be a Redneck Dialysis Patient if your water supply is hooked up to the garden hose.

You might be a Redneck Dialysis Patient if you go to the truck scales to weigh.

                                        

[Hawkeye]

You use toilet paper and duct tape to cover your access instead of gauze and tape.

[okarol]

You might be a Redneck Dialysis Patient if you go to the truck scales to weigh.

                                        

hehehehe made me laff 

[Hawkeye]

You use toilet paper and duct tape to cover your access instead of gauze and tape.

Maybe a handkerchief or an old oil rag would be better than toilet paper....Do rednecks even have toilet paper?

[tamara]

 

This thread is the best !

[jbeany]

. .. you built your own dializer out of an old oil pump and fuel filters from Napa.

Oh, I so need to take this list in and post it at my center!

[Jill D.]

You still go to the readin' room to read, even though you no longer pee.

[Chicken Little]

You're salvaging tubing to make straws for your new beer helmet business.

[goofynina]

  i am loving it,  LOVING IT I SAID 

and i cant think of one thing to say, lol, i think i need to study up on rednecks huh? 

[kianhu]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if the repo man comes to take your dialysis machine for non payment.  Funny or no?  It is late at night.   

[goofynina]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if the repo man comes to take your dialysis machine for non payment.  Funny or no?  It is late at night.   

Well, not only is it funny it is true, and it not only happens to Rednecks, it happens to us Mexicans toooo 

[Adam_W]

Your dialysis machine is covered with primer gray paint and Bondo.

You have a central venous catheter made from old drinking straws.

You make a moonshine still out of an old dialysis machine.

Adam