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Author Topic: You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....  (Read 87459 times)
myricle child
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« Reply #50 on: November 02, 2007, 02:58:48 PM »

I thought this might be fun.

You might be a REDNECK dialysis patient if...

(these are primarily related to home dialysis)

You set your machine on an old cable spool and have a chair made out of cinder blocks.

You custom order your machine from Fresenius to include a built in beer cozy.

Your machine has a gun rack on it.

You secure your fistula needles with duct tape.

You have to shoo the rodents and stray dogs out of your supply closet

Any more?

Adam

..if you HAVE to have a beer before treatment cause YOU made it part of your perscription.

...if you asked if your hunting dog could be considered your home care partner.


EDITED: Fixed quote box - okarol/moderator

« Last Edit: November 28, 2007, 03:12:08 PM by okarol » Logged

You lookin 4  myricle? Here I am!
kellyt
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« Reply #51 on: November 28, 2007, 02:03:22 PM »

You might be a Redneck Dialysis Patient if...

--You drive yourself to the dialysis center on a four-wheeler!
--You decorated your dialysis machine with Christmas lights when you first got it in 1990 - and never took them off.
--You absolutely must wear your cowboy boots to dialysis because you've sworn to "Die with your boots on".

okay...I'm out.
Logged

1993 diagnosed with glomerulonephritis.
Oct 41, 2007 - Got fistula placed.
Feb 13, 2008 - Activated on "the list".
Nov 5, 2008 - Received living donor transplant from my sister-in-law, Etta.
Nov 5, 2011 - THREE YEARS POST TRANSPLANT!  :D
SheilaW
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« Reply #52 on: December 01, 2007, 09:07:58 AM »

Funniest thread ever!!!

I'm brainstorming for something to add.....
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Aldente
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« Reply #53 on: December 01, 2007, 02:21:04 PM »

You might be a Redneck Dialysis Patient if...

    Your clinic has an old dialysis machine up on cinder blocks in the front yard.
    The entire staff has the same last name.
    The patient next to you put their pain killer up their butt because it was called an anal-gesic.
    The head nurse has a gun rack over her desk.
    The guns are loaded.
    Amy-lou, the patient next to you, brought her pet raccoon to clinic.
    One gun has been fired
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okarol
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

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« Reply #54 on: December 01, 2007, 05:42:16 PM »

 :rofl;  :rofl; :thumbup;
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
xtrememoosetrax
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« Reply #55 on: December 11, 2007, 04:43:37 PM »

You might be a Redneck Dialysis Patient if...

    Your clinic has an old dialysis machine up on cinder blocks in the front yard.
    The entire staff has the same last name.
    The patient next to you put their pain killer up their butt because it was called an anal-gesic.
    The head nurse has a gun rack over her desk.
    The guns are loaded.
    Amy-lou, the patient next to you, brought her pet raccoon to clinic.
    One gun has been fired


LOL and LMAO !   :clap;
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Living donor to friend via 3-way paired exchange on July 30, 2008.

www.paireddonation.org
www.caringbridge.org/visit/marthahansen
Adam_W
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Me with Baron von Fresenius

« Reply #56 on: December 11, 2007, 05:08:20 PM »

You get upset because the nurse won't let you bring your rifle and hunt'n dawg into the unit.

When your machine breaks down, you drag it out to the back yard and use it for target practice. "Hey, y'all, this here's my shoot'n machine!"

Adam
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-Diagnosed with ESRD (born with one kidney, hypertension killed it) Jan 21st, 2007
-Started dialysis four days later in hospital (Baxter 1550-I think, then Gambro Phoenix)
-Started in-centre dialysis Feb 6th 2007 (Fres. 2008H)
-Started home hemo June 5th 2007 (NxStage/Pureflow)
-PD catheter placed June 6th 2008 (Bye bye NxStage, at least for now)
-Started CAPD July 4th, 2008
-PD catheter removed Dec 2, 2008-PD just wouldn't work, so I'm back on NxStage
-Kidney function improved enough to go off dialysis, Feb. 2011!!!!!
-Back on dialysis (still NxStage) July 2011 :(
-In-centre self-care dialysis March 2012 (Fresenius 2008K)
-Not on transplant list yet.


"Don't live for dialysis, use dialysis to LIVE"
misschell78
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daniel waving to the people

« Reply #57 on: December 13, 2007, 09:35:37 PM »

You might be a redneck/country dialysis patient if....
 
the nurser has to put up no smoking signs inside the clinic bc of you.
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"Lord be fence all around me everyday"
Adam_W
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Me with Baron von Fresenius

« Reply #58 on: December 14, 2007, 07:56:04 AM »

-You name your dialysis machine "Duke" or "Ol' Blue"

-Your centre is located in a trailer
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-Diagnosed with ESRD (born with one kidney, hypertension killed it) Jan 21st, 2007
-Started dialysis four days later in hospital (Baxter 1550-I think, then Gambro Phoenix)
-Started in-centre dialysis Feb 6th 2007 (Fres. 2008H)
-Started home hemo June 5th 2007 (NxStage/Pureflow)
-PD catheter placed June 6th 2008 (Bye bye NxStage, at least for now)
-Started CAPD July 4th, 2008
-PD catheter removed Dec 2, 2008-PD just wouldn't work, so I'm back on NxStage
-Kidney function improved enough to go off dialysis, Feb. 2011!!!!!
-Back on dialysis (still NxStage) July 2011 :(
-In-centre self-care dialysis March 2012 (Fresenius 2008K)
-Not on transplant list yet.


"Don't live for dialysis, use dialysis to LIVE"
kellyt
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« Reply #59 on: December 14, 2007, 01:05:27 PM »

If you are a redneck who claims to "like dialysis", you're lying through your tooth!     :rofl;
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1993 diagnosed with glomerulonephritis.
Oct 41, 2007 - Got fistula placed.
Feb 13, 2008 - Activated on "the list".
Nov 5, 2008 - Received living donor transplant from my sister-in-law, Etta.
Nov 5, 2011 - THREE YEARS POST TRANSPLANT!  :D
okarol
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

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« Reply #60 on: December 14, 2007, 01:54:27 PM »


- You ever cut your grass and found your NxStage delivery.

- Your dialysis blanket says "Property of Motel 6."

- Your dialysis supply basket used to be a grocery cart.

- You sterilize your access with gasoline.
Logged


Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
goofynina
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He is the love of my life......

« Reply #61 on: December 14, 2007, 02:07:32 PM »

 :rofl; :rofl; Where do y'all get them there sayin's *slaps knee*  y'all crack me up  :rofl; :rofl;
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....and i think to myself, what a wonderful world....

www.kidneyoogle.com
Katonsdad
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« Reply #62 on: December 18, 2007, 05:17:27 PM »


You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....

  Your IV pole is needed in the yard to hold up the laundry line

   When the Health Dept stops by the head nurse calls them the Revenuers

   Your fluid bags say Piggly Wiggly on them

   You use the Vinegar for the Salad at the Church potluck

   Your snack consists of moon pies and RC Cola

    Your New Dialysis machine is green and made by John Deere

Katonsdad
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Diabetes 1976
Eye issues 1987
Kidney Failure 1997
CAPD 1997 , Stopped 1997 due to infections evey 28 days
Started In Center Hemo 1997
Received Kidney/Pancreas transplant 1999 at UCLA
Wife and I had son in 2001 , by donor for my part (Stopping the illness train)
Kidney failed 2011 , Back on Hemo . Looking to retransplant as the Kidney is still working



Soft kitty, warm kitty,
 little ball of fur,
happy kitty,sleepy kitty,
 purr purr purr ::
Sheldon and Penny on The Big Bng Theory
goofynina
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He is the love of my life......

« Reply #63 on: December 18, 2007, 05:20:31 PM »

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; not the piggly wiggly  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; you all is killin' me  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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....and i think to myself, what a wonderful world....

www.kidneyoogle.com
okarol
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

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« Reply #64 on: February 29, 2008, 03:44:12 PM »

Your dialysis tech refers to patients as "Critters."

Your dialysis support group meeting is held at Hooter's.

You prepare your buttonholes using your truck keys.

Your center has Hee Haw on cable - 24/7!

You honestly think nurses are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.

« Last Edit: April 01, 2008, 05:06:14 PM by okarol » Logged


Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
kidney4traci
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« Reply #65 on: February 29, 2008, 03:55:27 PM »

 :rofl; :rofl; This is the funniest thread ever!!  Thanks, I needed that!  I need to think....





Edited: Fixed smiley - okarol/admin
« Last Edit: April 01, 2008, 05:05:29 PM by okarol » Logged

Married - three children.
Alports female, diagnosed ESRD 10/04
11/04  Hemo in clinic
6/07 hemo at HOME! 
2/3/09 - Transplant from an angel of a friend!!!
twirl
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« Reply #66 on: April 01, 2008, 03:20:37 PM »

if someone says, "Bubba" and every male in the clinic answers

you state to the tect--- "Get R Done"

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okarol
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Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

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« Reply #67 on: April 01, 2008, 05:26:36 PM »


 - You ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher. (dang that dialysis itch!)

 - Your dialysis machine has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

 - Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

 - You no longer have to put on shoes and a jacket and grab a flashlight to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
Logged


Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
flip
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« Reply #68 on: April 01, 2008, 06:09:45 PM »

Atually being a redneck dialysis patient I love them all.

I usually ask the nurse to talk dirty to me while she's checking my ankles.
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That which does not kill me only makes me stronger - Neitzsche
twirl
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« Reply #69 on: April 01, 2008, 06:17:37 PM »

Atually being a redneck dialysis patient I love them all.

I usually ask the nurse to talk dirty to me while she's checking my ankles.

are you called Bubba

ain't no redneck if you ain't been called Bubba
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flip
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« Reply #70 on: April 01, 2008, 07:57:49 PM »

Actually most rednecks in this area are not called Bubba. We prefer the double first name (Billy Clyde, Joe Bob, etc.)
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That which does not kill me only makes me stronger - Neitzsche
flip
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« Reply #71 on: April 01, 2008, 11:04:23 PM »

and I keep my meds in the fridge on the front porch
 
I'm also the only patient in my center who brings his dog to dialysis. ( they do make me leave him in the back of my truck, but he don't care)

I'm related to all the nurses

I'm the only patient who is allowed a spit cup (remember, the nurses are family)

I've found dialysis to be a great hangover cure
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That which does not kill me only makes me stronger - Neitzsche
twirl
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« Reply #72 on: April 02, 2008, 12:53:15 PM »

your dawg to dialysis  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

a spit cup?  my unit won't even give me something to throw up in
guess you got friends in high places                                                            :puke;


you are a true redneck      FlipBob

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flip
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« Reply #73 on: April 02, 2008, 01:44:16 PM »

I reckon
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That which does not kill me only makes me stronger - Neitzsche
kellyt
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« Reply #74 on: August 19, 2008, 03:12:44 PM »

If when you stand for the National Anthem you place your hand over your AV fistula.






Is that funny?   ???
Logged

1993 diagnosed with glomerulonephritis.
Oct 41, 2007 - Got fistula placed.
Feb 13, 2008 - Activated on "the list".
Nov 5, 2008 - Received living donor transplant from my sister-in-law, Etta.
Nov 5, 2011 - THREE YEARS POST TRANSPLANT!  :D
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