I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 18, 2024, 10:07:58 PM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
532606 Posts in 33561 Topics by 12678 Members
Latest Member: astrobridge
* Home Help Search Login Register
+  I Hate Dialysis Message Board
|-+  Dialysis Discussion
| |-+  Dialysis: Humor, Pictures, Stories and Poems
| | |-+  You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 8 9 [10] Go Down Print
Author Topic: You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....  (Read 87457 times)
smokinbeaver
Jr. Member
**
Offline Offline

Posts: 75

« Reply #225 on: January 20, 2013, 05:29:47 AM »

I am dying laughing at each and every one of these! A moonshine still made out of a dialysis machine, thats brilliant!

Sharon
Logged
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #226 on: April 04, 2013, 07:15:56 PM »

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if you dialyze in your underwear

oh well i nthat case im a redneck lol

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Logged


Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Joe
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1166


« Reply #227 on: April 04, 2013, 07:23:06 PM »

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if you dialyze in your underwear

oh well i nthat case im a redneck lol

 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

Gee, me too!  :2thumbsup; :clap;
Logged

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God...
CebuShan
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2848


« Reply #228 on: April 06, 2013, 01:39:04 PM »


You might be a redneck dialysis patient if:

You go to dialysis in pajama pants... and you're not on nocturnal.

   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;  I must be a redneck, I used to go in my PJ's when I didn't feel good. Now that I do home hemo, I'm always in my PJs!!   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;

Logged

Think GOD doesn't have a sense of humor?
HE created marriage and children.
Think about it! LOL!
Riki
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 3408


WWW
« Reply #229 on: April 06, 2013, 05:44:14 PM »

it's rare that I don't wear pj's to dialysis.. may as well be comfortable if you're gonna be sitting in one spot for 4 hours
Logged

Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
transplant - May 22, 2001- May 2004
dialysis - May 2004-present
PD - May 2004-Dec 2008
HD - Dec 2008-present
fc2821
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1224


Just another hamster on the dialysis W.O.F.

« Reply #230 on: April 07, 2013, 02:37:46 PM »

These are so good I had to jump back in and add a few from my experiences, people I use to know who went to dialysis:

You might be a redneck on dialysis when:

You request a later start time or ask to trade someone becuse Friday is the start of deer season.

You ask the dietician of it is ok to eat smoked goose.

You have to remmerb to elave your gun(s) at home when you go to the clinic.

Logged

In center hemo dialysis since Feb 14, 2007. 

If I could type properly, I'd be dangerous!

You may be only one person in the universe but you may mean the the universe to someone else.
cattlekid
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1269

« Reply #231 on: April 07, 2013, 02:40:46 PM »

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....


....you watch Duck Dynasty marathons during dialysis and look up Miss Kay's recipes for squirrel on the Internet during commercial breaks.   ;D

Logged
Riki
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 3408


WWW
« Reply #232 on: April 07, 2013, 08:52:12 PM »

You might be a redneck on dialysis when:

You request a later start time or ask to trade someone becuse Friday is the start of deer season.

I've never done that, but I have asked to change my time to go to a Jeff Dunham show.. I'm a big Walter fan... *G*
Logged

Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
transplant - May 22, 2001- May 2004
dialysis - May 2004-present
PD - May 2004-Dec 2008
HD - Dec 2008-present
CebuShan
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2848


« Reply #233 on: May 21, 2013, 10:05:03 AM »

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....


....you watch Duck Dynasty marathons during dialysis and look up Miss Kay's recipes for squirrel on the Internet during commercial breaks.   ;D

I LOVE Duck Dynasty!  I guess that's more proof that I'm a redneck Dialysis patient!   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;
Logged

Think GOD doesn't have a sense of humor?
HE created marriage and children.
Think about it! LOL!
chiromac
Jr. Member
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 89


Dr. Larry (Chiropractor)

« Reply #234 on: May 21, 2013, 08:42:52 PM »

You might be a Red Neck Dialysis Patient, if you're watching Ron "The Tatter" White and you stop hearing the jokes and start calculate how many kilos he's putting on with all that Scotch.  :beer1;
Logged

Dr. Larry (Chiropractor)

My life has been drastically changed and I want to get back to the living my life.

I ♥ have ♥ the ♥ most ♥ beautiful ♥ DAUGHTER ♥ in the ♥ world☆•*¨*•.¸¸❤❤¸.•*¨

Back Surgery
Diabetes
Had reaction to Byetta and my Kidneys shut down
Diabetic retinopathy (Countless shots to both eyes & Laser Treatments)
Cataract Surgery on both eyes
Diagnosed with ESRD
Multiple Heart Bipass Surgery
AV Fistula
Dialysis - In center 3 days a week 4:15 at a time
Neuropathy
On Transplant List and Hoping
cattlekid
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1269

« Reply #235 on: May 22, 2013, 09:16:56 AM »

He's one of my favorites.....

....."I had the right to remain silent, I just didn't have the ability."   :rofl;

You might be a Red Neck Dialysis Patient, if you're watching Ron "The Tatter" White and you stop hearing the jokes and start calculate how many kilos he's putting on with all that Scotch.  :beer1;
Logged
Adam_W
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1139


Me with Baron von Fresenius

« Reply #236 on: May 23, 2013, 04:06:05 PM »

Wow, I started this thread six years ago and it's still going!  :bandance;
Logged

-Diagnosed with ESRD (born with one kidney, hypertension killed it) Jan 21st, 2007
-Started dialysis four days later in hospital (Baxter 1550-I think, then Gambro Phoenix)
-Started in-centre dialysis Feb 6th 2007 (Fres. 2008H)
-Started home hemo June 5th 2007 (NxStage/Pureflow)
-PD catheter placed June 6th 2008 (Bye bye NxStage, at least for now)
-Started CAPD July 4th, 2008
-PD catheter removed Dec 2, 2008-PD just wouldn't work, so I'm back on NxStage
-Kidney function improved enough to go off dialysis, Feb. 2011!!!!!
-Back on dialysis (still NxStage) July 2011 :(
-In-centre self-care dialysis March 2012 (Fresenius 2008K)
-Not on transplant list yet.


"Don't live for dialysis, use dialysis to LIVE"
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #237 on: May 25, 2013, 12:20:27 AM »

Wow, I started this thread six years ago and it's still going!  :bandance;

Yep, 237 posts later - still going strong!  :clap;
Logged


Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
CebuShan
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2848


« Reply #238 on: May 31, 2013, 07:08:07 AM »

Wow, I started this thread six years ago and it's still going!  :bandance;

Just goes to show how many redneck dialysis patients there are!   :rofl;
Logged

Think GOD doesn't have a sense of humor?
HE created marriage and children.
Think about it! LOL!
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #239 on: September 30, 2013, 03:15:48 PM »

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if you know these Medical Terms:

Benign - What you be, after you be eight.
Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - what doctors do when patients die
Cesarean section - a neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan - searching for kitty
Cauterize - made eye contact with her
Colic - a sheep dog
coma- a punctuation mark
D & C - Where Washington is
Dilate - to live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - quicker than someone else
Fibula - a small lie
Genital - a non-Jewish person
GI series - world series of military baseball
Hangnail - what you hang your coat on
Impotent - distinguished, well-known
Labor pain - getting hurt at work
medical staff - a doctor's cane
Morbid - a higher offer
Nitrates - cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - a person who has fainted
Pap Smear - A fatherhood test
Pelvis - second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - a letter carrier
Recovery room - place to do upholstery
Rectum - darn near killed him
Secretion - hiding something
Seizure - a Roman emperor
Tablet - a small table
Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport
Tumor - one plus one more
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose - nearby / close by


Logged


Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Joe
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1166


« Reply #240 on: September 30, 2013, 05:22:50 PM »

^^^^ :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;^^^^
Logged

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God...
CebuShan
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2848


« Reply #241 on: October 02, 2013, 09:32:55 AM »

Okarol!:
   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :clap;   :clap;   :clap;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :2thumbsup;   :2thumbsup;   :2thumbsup;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;
Logged

Think GOD doesn't have a sense of humor?
HE created marriage and children.
Think about it! LOL!
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #242 on: October 02, 2013, 10:04:25 PM »

You're either out or urine. hahahaha  :rofl;
Logged


Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Riki
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 3408


WWW
« Reply #243 on: October 05, 2013, 07:56:33 PM »

I have a plush kidney that I bought off iheartguts.com.  I bought the kidney separate, but it can come in a set with a tshirt, buttons, stickers, and a few other things I don't remember, called "When Urine Love"
Logged

Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
transplant - May 22, 2001- May 2004
dialysis - May 2004-present
PD - May 2004-Dec 2008
HD - Dec 2008-present
pagandialysis
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 266


WWW
« Reply #244 on: December 04, 2013, 11:23:20 AM »

I have a plush kidney that I bought off iheartguts.com.  I bought the kidney separate, but it can come in a set with a tshirt, buttons, stickers, and a few other things I don't remember, called "When Urine Love"

Yeeeeah, I have one too.
Logged

Dining on Dialysis - www.diningondialysis.com
-------------------------------------------------------------
Kidney Transplant (December 31, 2014),
Dialysis-Hemo (Started May 17, 2011. Ended December 29, 2014),
AV Fistula #2 (This one is a Basilic Transposition),
CKD (IgA Nephropathy) Stage 5,
Hypertension (Under Control)
obsidianom
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1271

« Reply #245 on: December 06, 2013, 09:27:05 AM »

DIALYSIS   :      What we old timers did in the days before push button phones  (rotary phones for you young-uns) , when we wanted to call our sisters.
Logged

My wife is the most important person in my life. Dialysis is an honor to do for her.
NxStage since June 2012 .
When not doing dialysis I am a physician ,for over 25 years now(not a nephrologist)

Any posting here should be used for informational purposes only . Talk to your own doctor about treatment decisions.
Simon Dog
Administrator/Owner
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3460


« Reply #246 on: December 06, 2013, 04:38:41 PM »

You might be a redneck if you are slightly offended by the "no guns" sign at Fresenius clinics.
Logged
CebuShan
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2848


« Reply #247 on: December 06, 2013, 08:13:59 PM »

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if...

Your husband sits in one of the chairs and people start wondering when we got massage chairs!    :sir ken; 
Logged

Think GOD doesn't have a sense of humor?
HE created marriage and children.
Think about it! LOL!
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #248 on: December 06, 2013, 08:27:49 PM »

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if:

You ever had to remove a toothpick to have your temperature taken.

You drink a six-pack during dialysis, after adding it to your dry weight.

Logged


Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
marlinfshr
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 116


« Reply #249 on: December 22, 2013, 07:13:24 PM »

I know this is an old thread but I just read it and came up with a few dumb ones myself such as;


if you go to the dialysis center with a deer in the back of your truck.

If you go help track a deer right after you finish filling up on CAPD.

If you go sit in a deer stand while letting your dialysis fluid dwell.

If you hang your bags from the antlers on the wall.

If you have to move a couple guns so you can get to your boxes of dialysis fluid stored in the closet.

If you miss a dialysis appointment because you went fishin'.

If you were late because you had to track a deer.

If, while guttin a deer you're very careful to not do any more damage because you think you might be able to use it's kidney.

If you arrive at the center and get dirty looks because your camo clothes and hands are covered in blood---before getting stuck with the needles.

If you need to borrow a ladder from the center to get your dialysis exchanges out of the back of your truck during test time.

If those boxes are covered in blood from a deer in the bed of your truck.

If you have to explain to the nurses that you haven't gained any weight, its just that you forgot to empty all the extra shotgun shells out of your pockets at weigh in.



Logged
Pages: 1 ... 8 9 [10] Go Up Print 
« previous next »
 

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP SMF 2.0.17 | SMF © 2019, Simple Machines | Terms and Policies Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!