I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Off-Topic => Off-Topic: Talk about anything you want. => Topic started by: cariad on October 13, 2011, 01:21:12 PM
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Gwyn just called. He lost his job. Apparently, they've eliminated engineering in the midst of massive restructuring. Something like that? I don't know, just that it wasn't his fault. I wonder how many millions the CEO will get in bonuses.
God I am fed up with this country. I have no idea what we are going to do now.
He just got home. I don't know what to say to him. He does not deserve this!
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Oh cariad, I don't know what to say! I know you all have been seriously considering emigrating for a while; do you think this may be a blessing in disguise?
Gwyn is such a smashing chappie; I am so sorry about this. Please give him a big hug from me. You're right; he doesn't deserve this. These days, most people who lose their jobs don't deserve it.
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I'm cussing really loudly in my house reading this...Lee just asked what on earth was the matter. Cariad I'm (almost) as devastated as you both must be at this awful news. I wouldn't know what to say either ...I just feel sad this is happening to your family. :grouphug;
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Cariad, my thoughts and prayers are with you, Gwyn and your 2 boys. I feel just like you do about our country right now. All that seems to matter anymore is the bottom line for the ones at the top. Enough already!!!!! :banghead;
When is this madness going to stop???
As for Gwyn, what kind of engineer is he? Is there much of a job market in your area for his line of work? Or, do you just want to say screw it and move to a country that has a better outlook on life?
KarenInWA
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As for Gwyn, what kind of engineer is he?
I was wondering this myself.
:cuddle;
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Oh, cariad, that sucks! How in the hell can they eliminate engineering, for god's sake?
Nobody deserves this. No one. Tell Gwyn that Andy and I are thinking of him. :grouphug;
Are you going to try to stay where you are or are you open to relocating (within the country)? I would think (hope) with Gwyn's background it wouldn't be impossible to find work SOMEwhere in this godforsaken nation.
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WHAT! THE! F$#@!
Sorry. I am just enraged. Sad!
I have no words to describe how I am feeling, let alone how you and Gwyn must be feeling.
Give the boys a hug for me. Tell them Carl says hi. And maybe good things WILL happen from this.
:grouphug;
Aleta
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Sh*t.
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Echoing Nattnatt. So sorry, cariad. :cuddle;
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Thanks everyone. I cannot really think straight right now. This is really.... something. Bad.
Gwyn was contacted by a recruiter who wants him to consider a job in Minnesota. It would be a pay cut. Again. At this rate, he'll be paying for the privilege to work inside of a decade.
We never told the kids. My older child has had too much stress in his young life already.
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:grouphug;
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:grouphug;
i hope that things turn around for the better for u all.
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Yikes. I'm so sorry Cariad.
*huggles* < not worth much, but the thought is there.
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So sorry to hear that, Cariad. What a bummer! My caring thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this challenging time. :grouphug;
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Thank you all. I am not in the best place right now, but I'm sure I'll get there.
People are rallying round my husband, as they should. One person told Gwyn's supervisor, while he was making the announcement, that he was making a 'terrible mistake'. Gwyn called her after hours to thank her, and she said there was no way that she was going to sit there and watch this without saying something. And that is it right there. People are so scared right now that companies expect everyone to take any level of abuse because if you don't, someone else will. I have read similar accounts from pitiable losers who go to places like Thailand to have sex with prostitutes: as in, 'isn't this country awesome. she knows that if she won't do everything I say for a few pennies, there are plenty who will'. :puke;
Gwyn and I both agree on why he was let go. They are restructuring, but that was just an excuse to get rid of him with less grounds for a lawsuit. He was told Tuesday to speak to his good friend C. about her attitude. Gwyn argued with his supervisor, saying that they were not in the business of trying to control people on that level, and that her work was consistently above reproach. This little toad not only made Gwyn speak to her about her supposed 'lack of engagement with the company' (there's a sinister bit of bullshit for you), but the supervisor sat in on the discussion. Gwyn said it was a test, and he obviously failed. He did not say this to me with any regret, and he knows me well enough to know that I would not have it any other way. I told him over the phone on Tuesday when he was telling me the story For chrissake, they don't buy your soul with that pittance they pay you. I've argued ferociously over the years with Gwyn about not ever compromising his principles for a job - basically, look darling, you want to live in this country, you better not turn into one of them because I will leave you. So, yes, I am proud of him. They expected something that he refuses to give at any price.
Four people were let go, but two had already handed in notice. Only the hourly contractors and the top level employees remain, and they are designers not engineers. One person who used to work for Gwyn and is now on his way to another company rang up Gwyn and said that if there was anything he could do, be sure to let him know.
DD, monrein, you both made me laugh and then burst into tears. That's how it is with me right now, but perhaps the only shred of sanity I retain is the ability to find the humour and the good in it. Gwyn and I are talking holidays right now. No worries about coordinating with work. School is a little tricky, but not insurmountable. The kids learn loads on these holidays, seeing how others live, so I don't worry about them missing time there.
Gwyn is a mechanical engineer. Automotive. He has a dead impressive resume having worked for some big names back when there was a functioning auto industry in this country, and back in the UK. For this last year, he's been working on a non-automotive product, and I know he misses his vehicles. Blessing in disguise? We can but hope. It never has been before, but I am open to the idea that I could be wrong. He called Australia the moment he got home yesterday, talked to a Yorkshireman in Melbourne, had a few laughs. This country lacks that - no way has he ever picked up the phone and called an American about employment and wound up chatting like old friends within minutes.
We're going to look for a protest to join (Occupy Wall Street) although I'm not clever with those signs and slogans. Try to fix up the house for sale. Talk to more Australians on Sunday (their Monday) and talk to the Brits next week. I will apply for jobs, probably won't continue with school unless they can help. There is a writing tutor job at the university that I would be happy to do, only $90/week (very part time) but better than nothing. I think I could do it in my sleep, I've done it for free most of my life.
I'm just wittering on endlessly. I don't know what else to do.
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You're right...we've been turned into sheep because the fear of losing one's job is so rampant.
Cariad, I have to ask...what does this do to your insurance coverage? What does this mean for your transplant, etc? Or, are these irrelevant questions? I hate how access to healthcare is so intricately tied to one's employment; this is a major failing in this country, and it really needs to be addressed.
What a stressful time for you. :grouphug;
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cariad, I am so sorry to hear this, losing a job and trying to find another one is mind blowing. it is not just America, we in the UK are in the same boat.The politicians are all the same, greedy bastards who think of them selves once they are in office. I wish Gwyn all the best in finding work, as the saying goes "when one door closes another one opens" When my husband got made redundant years ago we were both devastated, it hits you like a bomb. You will come out of this and for the better. I am thinking of you both. Fingers crossed.
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Billy, I totally agree, especially with your feelings toward politicians right and left (though mostly right!).
MM, we don't have to worry about insurance for a while, and then one option is COBRA, though it would depend on cost, or there are other options, none of them exactly encouraging. My favourite option at the moment, if possible, would be to switch our plan to just covering Gwyn and the boys, then get COBRA assistance. I would have just Medicare since we become ineligible for assistance with me on the plan, although, now that I think, I may get free 80/20 coverage through the university so long as I am a student. I am going to check right now.... If not, I am not on any majorly expensive drugs so no Part D is not as big a deal as typical transplant patients- supposed to take Valtrex until my 2-year anniversary, but I would stop or ask the company for aid. It is a huge gamble, but so long as the kids are covered, I will give it a go. My father would pay the COBRA, I know he would, but ick. Not going to go there unless we cannot afford COBRA for the boys and cannot get them on BadgerCare. Apparently, even though their queue is some 80,000 people deep, they will fast track kids.
:secret; Any non-Americans reading this that don't appreciate their health system, if you can tell me what I just said above, I'll listen to your complaints. This is what we go through in this country, constantly. The rules are always changing, the system is indecipherable, and there are pitfalls and landmines all round.
OK! I will risk the letdown and tell everyone: Gwyn got a call back from a major vehicle company and the HR person said she was REALLY EXCITED to hear from him. I listened to the message with Gwyn and she sounded sincere and she asked Gwyn to call her Monday. Everyone has been really eager to talk to Gwyn so far, but I have to be cautious with any optimism. It makes me think of the best quote from that old John Cleese film Clockwise, where they keep missing each opportunity to catch a ride to his event: It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand. :rofl;
I must report what Aidan said this morning. Without consulting me, Gwyn told Aidan. I really wish he hadn't, but cannot unring that bell now. Gwyn explained to Aidan that they were getting rid of all engineering, and Aidan said quite matter-of-factly: Well then, if they go bankrupt, it's their own fault. Ah, that boy is the reason to keep going.
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cariad I hope everything works out for you and your family.
and dont give up hope.
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you've been on my mind much today but i just dont know what to say.. It's just so wrong and sad... It will turn out ok, just keep the strength and it will work out. It's just sucky until then.. :grouphug;
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OK, well, I'm going to be all nervous until Monday, and I sure hope you will return to this thread with some good news. I understand that fear of optimism and hope, though. I'm really hoping that this will all turn out better than you've dared dream. You will be in my thoughts all weekend long. :cuddle;
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Hey girl, I am just seeing this, damn that sucks!
It seems many companies are getting "creative' with their firing so they don't have to pay the unemployment. Ridiculous.
I hope this is just a new beginning and the path becomes clear.
Best of luck to you both! :cuddle;
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good Lord Cariad, what a bunch of crooks. second your sentiments. this happened to DH after 26 yrs on job and highest levels in all fields. not even a thank you for 26 years. we've moved to our other place, which i was grateful for the option, many do not have. i have no insurance at all and DH cobra being paid by NKF till next summer. i hated to put everyone through the move too, but there was no getting around it. much prayers for you and your family, this is happening everywhere here. there is a farmhouse and some land up the road for sale for $25.00..no kidding. people who've had good stable jobs are now working at McDonalds or wally world. my future son in law who was in IT is now a cook at a restaurant. it was hard for him but he's happy to have it, its min wage. my pregnant daughter works 12-16 hr shifts at a nursing home. like you said, all the greedy bastages.. :cuddle;
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I can only keep my fingers crossed and hope that whatever happens it turns out to be a better opportunity and a move into a better workplace for Gwyn. Please tell him that we are rooting for him (and for the whole family!).
I kind of agree with Gwyn on telling Aiden. Children have such a radar for stress in their parents and when they don't know what is causing it, they often come to the mistaken conclusion that it is because of them. I think it is better to tell them straight up. It shows trust in them and includes them in the family dynamic. Of course, it is important to also share that the kids will still be safe and cared for so they don't worry about THAT! :cuddle;
Let us know ASAP when you have any news.
I can't keep from thinking of you. :grouphug;
Aleta
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keeping my fingers crossed for you guys.
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These messages have been such a boost to our spirits. Thanks everyone for taking the time to spread the love.
Aleta, you are probably right about telling Aidan. He is way too smart to not sense something wrong pretty quickly. He does not seem stressed about it in the least, so Gwyn must have also reassured him that everything would be OK. The basics for Aidan - housing, food, sports, and friends - are going to be there for him no matter what we have to do.
I will update just as soon as things get moving next week. Perhaps he'll get some encouraging news from Down Under tomorrow.
Great advice, Pitagory. We will keep up the hope just as long as we can.
Boswife, you are such a sweetheart, always so concerned for everyone. Please, no one worrying about saying the right or wrong thing. Just knowing you all are keeping a good thought for us is all we need. If we can find a way through this, I will start to believe that we truly are invincible. :)
My gratitude to all. :grouphug; :grouphug;
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I must report what Aidan said this morning. Without consulting me, Gwyn told Aidan. I really wish he hadn't, but cannot unring that bell now. Gwyn explained to Aidan that they were getting rid of all engineering, and Aidan said quite matter-of-factly: Well then, if they go bankrupt, it's their own fault. Ah, that boy is the reason to keep going.
That's one smart kid you've got there!
I know you've got a lot on your mind, but please try to keep us updated as to what happens Monday. We've got all our fingers and toes crossed here for you. (Makes it a little ffidluct to ytpe or wlak, but that's okay.)
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Holding good thoughts for Monday....... :grouphug;
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Holding good thoughts for Monday....... :grouphug;
Marsh! Good to see you post! I was worried when I didn't see you on here since Las Vegas. Next time we all need to exchange phone numbers. We could have found you a ride. So sorry you missed visiting with IHD folks. :(
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Best sign I've seen from the Occupy Wall Street protests...
"One day the poor will have nothing left to eat but the rich." ;D
How very Soylent Green!
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I know you've got a lot on your mind, but please try to keep us updated as to what happens Monday. We've got all our fingers and toes crossed here for you. (Makes it a little ffidluct to ytpe or wlak, but that's okay.)
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :thx;
That is a good one, jbeany! If only I had that political wit! :rofl;
We did not go to Milwaukee's rally yesterday. Soccer games were just too exhausting because it was blowing a gale for ages, and I just wanted to hide indoors all day. I think these things will be around a while, though, so maybe next time.
Gwyn has not been feeling well much of the day, but had a lie down and is now preparing to ring Australia. Fingers crossed....
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Karol, I'm sorry I missed all of the fun! Maybe I'll try again next year!
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My dear cariad,
I can't believe just a week ago (or so) we were all sitting together chatting and discussing just some of these very issues. I had a flash yesterday from Karen (my ex wife you know!! :rofl;) with the news and I was SO upset to get that.
What could I possibly say - even my accent cant help this one!!! It's just so bloody unfair!!!
I think everyone has said ti really. We're on your side. we care.. we want things to work out in a positive way for you guys!!!!!
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My dear cariad,
I can't believe just a week ago (or so) we were all sitting together chatting and discussing just some of these very issues. I had a flash yesterday from Karen (my ex wife you know!! :rofl;) with the news and I was SO upset to get that.
What could I possibly say - even my accent cant help this one!!! It's just so bloody unfair!!!
I think everyone has said ti really. We're on your side. we care.. we want things to work out in a positive way for you guys!!!!!
Richard, your humour should be bottled! It helps more than you know. And here's progress: I laughed and it was not followed by tears. Woohoo! Thanks to you and Karen both! (We refuse to take sides in the split - you two will just have to accept that.... :rofl;)
Gwyn called the HR person back from the local opportunity. Gwyn is so clearly trying to keep his hopes down, but for now, the conversation was a bit promising. I know that can change in an instant, though. He does not have the experience they want for the higher level position that he had called about, but there are positions just below that she wants to consider him for. She asked about salary requirements, and he gave a figure that she said was in line with the lower level if you include bonus. Now, he never received the dazzling bonus he was promised at his former job because they sacked him before the end of the year. Still, if the base salary is at or above what he was making, we'll be OK. I do so want out of this country, and getting involved with another company where we would have to be here at least another year in order for it to pay off is depressing, but they are international, so perhaps an internal transfer could be an option.
I don't want to sound like I am banking on him getting this position, because I am not. We've been down this path so many times, I know that at least 75% of what any HR person says is crap. And that's being generous.
We have not told anyone in town yet, although news has been spreading via the internet. His former work contacts have all been checking in, and Gwyn plans to go to lunch on Thursday with his former colleagues and his friend who was also let go. Gwyn is just not up for telling friends right now, and I feel the same. Most of them are struggling in one way or another, and none of them are in the same field. I cannot stand the pity.
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I don't know what to hope for! I'd love to see Gwyn get this position, but I don't want to see you tied down for longer than you have to be, seeing as you'd eventually like to emigrate. So, I'll just say that I hope that whatever happens, it's all for the very best.
I can understand not "wanting the pity", but I've always felt that it adds to your burden when you have to work to keep a secret. I'm sure your friends would sympathize, but unemployment is so widespread now that losing one's job doesn't illicit so much pity as it does a certain shared sympathy. This is when you need your friends the most. I hope Gwyn finds a new position soon, and this becomes a moot point.
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Aw, thanks, MM.
I am definitely hoping for Gwyn to get an offer (though we are miles away from that step at the moment). We would always have the option to forgo any bonus and leave whenever we felt the time was right.
Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts!
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OK, then I'll hope for the same! :cuddle;
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I think the two of you are level headed and experienced enough to know to not pin hopes on any one thing but to also assess what is a reasonable chance and what isn't. Of course my best wishes and hopes go for the best outcome. Who knows, maybe in the longer run this has created an opportunity that will wind up in a better situation for everyone. Hey, I prefer to seek positives wherever I can find them!!!!
:2thumbsup; :2thumbsup; :2thumbsup;
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I'm being positive when I say, when one door closes usually a window opens. Gwyn is a smart guy and someone will nab him right up.
My gosh this is happening a lot. The News acts like they just don't know what is going on and I'm screaming in my livingroom "There are just too many people" we predicted this would happen in the 70's does no one remember that? We have got to do something. Min wage just does not pay the rent. I don't know the answer. That is why I play Mega Million twice a week.
Keep us posted. I'm sure something will come up. :pray;
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I think the two of you are level headed and experienced enough to know to not pin hopes on any one thing but to also assess what is a reasonable chance and what isn't. Of course my best wishes and hopes go for the best outcome. Who knows, maybe in the longer run this has created an opportunity that will wind up in a better situation for everyone. Hey, I prefer to seek positives wherever I can find them!!!!
:2thumbsup; :2thumbsup; :2thumbsup;
I agree with Richard. Sometimes when one door closes, a better one opens! That is my hope for you and him ! You never know! It does suck though, nonetheless!
lmunchkin :kickstart;
Edited: Fixed quote tag error - okarol/admin
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We are attending a talk given by my advisor in an hour. Thought I would give a quick update: Gwyn finally reached the second Australian company: 1. they had already sent an offer to a bona fide Australian on the one job he wanted, so that one is a no. 2. He gets no special attention for being British. The recruiter did say they had other similar jobs, but that it is really difficult to gain employment as a non-citizen. Blah. It was always a long shot, so I guess I am not surprised.
There is a job in this town that practically has Gwyn's picture next to the job description. However, we live in a very small city. Gwyn worked with these people in his first job - they were suppliers, he was the engineer assigned to them. Then he left that job under not-very-nice circumstances. The people who run the supply company have acted really excited about the prospect of hiring Gwyn on, but they just never do. There has always been an excuse. So, he called up a friend of his who works there (J) and basically put it all out there: I have applied in the past, and the president has either said he will hire me or wants to hire me as soon as there is a job, but then there always seems to be some lame excuse. I will send you my resume, but please don't waste my time if there is no chance. J did explain a little more about why it's been that way (they were trying to work with the company where Gwyn used to work and were concerned about bad blood, but of course Gwyn gets along with the individuals at these places spectacularly, it is the administration that he tends to lock horns with). They do have a job opening, J asked Gwyn for his resume, G sent it, J has promised that if there are any other hesitations that he will tell Gwyn outright, but business promises seem rather meaningless in this 'burg. The president of the company is good friends (some say best friends) with the owner of the company that we just sued (and won). See what I mean? Everyone is so wound up in this network.
Gwyn has also applied for various other positions, but did not tell me specifics. We have received a lot of calls from recruiters which I know was NOT happening 3 years ago, so perhaps things are improving. Most recruiters are useless, but we are exploring all options. I don't think he's contacted the UK yet, not sure if he's even told his brothers. We have had crap, wet, cold weather lately, and every time this happens I always think 'Now, could you really see yourself living out the rest of your life in the UK?' Isn't there some tropical island somewhere that needs both an anthropologist and an automotive engineer?
I really appreciate the support, everyone. Gwyn continues to plough forward, keeping his expectations realistic. I do think things have a way of working out for the best, well, at least I used to strongly believe. That belief becomes more fragile by the hour.
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Cariad, I know that emigrating to Australia had been a game plan for you, but I'm not sorry that didn't pan out because the other day I read this article in Rolling Stone magazine and immediately thought of you and Gwyn. Maybe it's just as well....
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/climate-change-and-the-end-of-australia-20111003
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:grouphug;
Sometimes getting to the "working out for the best" takes a lot more time than we'd like.
I've lived in a small town for most of my life. I know how incestuous some of those business relationships can get. It's a fine system if you are on the inside, but not so great once you're on the outs.
Sometimes, you just have to find another direction to go!
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Still thinking of you and hoping that this challenge is just the perfect opportunity in disguise.
:grouphug;
Please give our love to Gwyn and the boys.
Aleta
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Cariad, I know that emigrating to Australia had been a game plan for you, but I'm not sorry that didn't pan out because the other day I read this article in Rolling Stone magazine and immediately thought of you and Gwyn. Maybe it's just as well....
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/climate-change-and-the-end-of-australia-20111003
In a nutshell: Ill informed, distorted, biased claptrap.
In what way, exactly? Please be more specific.
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Thank you so much for the complete refutation of that crazy, idiotic "global warming/climate change" silliness. I'm relieved to hear that we don't have to worry about Australia anymore, and that her citizens are such good stewards of her unique natural resources. I'm also pleased that the Great Barrier Reef is in no danger at all! I've always wanted to go to Australia for a visit, and now I can dream of going to a land of plenty, a land where people can do whatever they want with no mind at all of conservation and not have a concern for the environmental consequences of their fabricated "carbon footprints." Thank you for spending your precious time in making all of that clear to me of little brain! LOL!
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Thank you so much for the complete refutation of that crazy, idiotic "global warming/climate change" silliness. I'm relieved to hear that we don't have to worry about Australia anymore, and that her citizens are such good stewards of her unique natural resources. I'm also pleased that the Great Barrier Reef is in no danger at all! I've always wanted to go to Australia for a visit, and now I can dream of going to a land of plenty, a land where people can do whatever they want with no mind at all of conservation and not have a concern for the environmental consequences of their fabricated "carbon footprints." Thank you for spending your precious time in making all of that clear to me of little brain! LOL!
I, too, am so very grateful for the scientifically sound evidence presented here, as my substandard research skills render me incapable of ever analyzing any data for myself. And let's face it, "my family says" should be good enough for all of us.
Well, thank goodness that's settled.
I do have some vaguely irritating feeling that this thread was started due to a more immediate crisis, one that cannot really be argued into non-existence, but that certainly could not be more important than learning that Australia is A-OK! Surely a family of four can survive for years on this information alone? :beer1;
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Thanks, Aleta - we are trying to rip the disguise off and will let you know once that's been done.
Chilling article, MM. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, and for thinking of us. I did not read all of it, as I do try to avoid articles that offer little in the way of hope. Gwyn and I discussed the possible scientific innovations on the horizon. Speaking of maybe not trying to flee the country: when I mentioned possibly moving to Australia to Liot, he burst into tears. That was weird as this is in no way like him. When I said I thought he would like going to Australia, he retorted "I don't want to stay there forever!" I had to back pedal and say that a move of any sort was not going to happen for quite some time. I am always learning new things about my children.
Love the graphic, jbeany. Thanks for the laugh (much needed). Yes, Gwyn's field is nothing if not incestuous. It makes racehorse genealogy look straightforward!
Gwyn is outside hopefully working on the vintage cars. I so want those things gone, so perhaps I will FINALLY get my wish with all of his extra time.
:grouphug;
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Have I been spelling Plow wrong my whole life??
Plough?
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Have I been spelling Plow wrong my whole life??
Plough?
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
You're fine, Rerun. They are two equally accepted variants far as I know. But wow did this strike me as funny the way you phrased the question.
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Oh, Cariad, I am so sorry I just found this. I understand. My husband's company has sold off part of its operations. They are keeping control for 2 years but after that... Of course it all depends on IF the purchasing company can come us with all the money by the 2 year mark (the announcement was made at Christmas last year, so they have another year) My fear is that when the company gives up control, the new company will decide to "restructure" and all the old employees will be let go in favour of cheaper labour. My husband doesn't believe that will happen but I've always been a glass half empty person. I do try not to worry about things too far in the future (sometimes I can't look beyond tomorrow or I'll go crazy!) Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is: Be patient. As difficult as it may seem right now, be patient. Things will work out for you, I just know it! I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. :grouphug; :cuddle; :grouphug;
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That's a very interesting reaction from Liot. What do you make of it?
How are your kids holding up? Do they seem fairly confident about life these days, or are they anxious? I know we parents hope to keep our tumultuous emotions from affecting our children, but kids are so damned perceptive.
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Cariad sorry for being a crappy internet friend and just now seeing this! Sending positive thoughts your way!!! :cuddle;
xo,
R
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I'm sorry the Australia job thing didn't work out. I *am* surprised there's no preference given for UK citizens - I can understand of course if they found someone here that could do the job and offered them the gig - that is usually the way it works - heck maybe they will say no!! :) I had a quick look but couldn't find evidence of my feeling that we (oz) would accept you based on Gwyn's UK citizenship because I am pretty certain we would, but it is a long way to go and obviously no guarantees here for work etc - and given the kids may be so so about such a big drastic scary(to them) move... yeah not something to contemplate quickly.
Also please tell my mate that I'm sorry Australia beat Wales in the rugby. I was actually barracking for the Welsh with you guys in mind!!!!
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Cariad sorry for being a crappy internet friend and just now seeing this! Sending positive thoughts your way!!! :cuddle;
xo,
R
Rachel, my dear, you are the furthest thing from a "crappy" internet friend. Thanks for the positive thoughts. We certainly can appreciate them more now that we are out of the fear and despair stage and have moved on to "what next".
Also please tell my mate that I'm sorry Australia beat Wales in the rugby. I was actually barracking for the Welsh with you guys in mind!!!!
Aw, Richard, that is a true mate there, at least in Gwyn's universe. Gwyn says "He's a better man than I."
*speaking very softly now so Gwyn won't hear* At least Australia undoubtedly deserved to win. Gwyn was inconsolable when France narrowly beat Wales after some dodgy call from a ref. Definitely we want to give a move out of country plenty of thought, and were not really ready to move for that one job, so we'll wait for the right job at the right time.
MM, I think with little Liot, he enjoys his current life so much, what 5-year-old would want to pull up and take a chance on a foreign land. He has great friends, fabulous teachers, a nice (though perpetually cluttered) house. A few weeks ago we were at one of his favorite parks and there were kids in a range of ages there. At one point, about eight of them were all on one of those big spinning structures, and Elliot was sitting in the centre while the kids were all going over who knew whom and from where. It is incredible to me how effortlessly social Liot is, talking with four year olds and 10 year olds with equal ease. Australia is just an abstraction, a place that he can find on the map because he studies exotic animals any chance he gets. Gwyn and I joke that Aidan will be Australia's soccer star fighting off the girls with a stick, and Liot will be the next Steve Irwin (remember?).
CebuShan, I would be concerned, too. Any time my husband tells me 'the company is being sold, but they say nothing is going to change' I break into cynical laughter. When my father sold his business, they told the employees nothing would change and within a year everyone had been sacked and the company operations had been moved cross country. They tell employees this so they will not panic and find other employment before the company is ready to get rid of them. Nauseating but true. Thanks for the support. I'll keep my fingers crossed that your husband's company is one of those rare exceptions.
Thanks everyone. I'll return when I have news!
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Two employment-related episodes this morning, one horrible (with the previous company) and one very nice, though perhaps a touch ironic.
I won't get into details with the first one, just that it was an attempt on the part of his previous employer to make something out of absolutely nothing. HR can be like that.
Gwyn received a call first thing this morning about a possible job. The nice thing is that this was the company calling him direct, not a recruiter, though I do think they got his information via a recruiter.
The job is back in California (d'oh!) but would be a dream position for Gwyn in many ways. I really don't see a way that this could work out financially unless this company is positively loaded, but we'll see. They claim that they will be calling to set up a phone interview between him and a company director or vice president or something. I'll let you know if that happens. Don't really want to return to California, though, so most of this is academic. I think it gave Gwyn's ego a nice boost if nothing else.
Oh, and he also phoned a rep from a recruitment company that he's had past, ghastly experience with. He rang the guy up to say that recruiters at this place always want him to take a position way below his abilities, and recruiters only seem to last a few weeks there, so that when he tries to follow up, he hears that his contact person no longer works there. I think Gwyn enjoyed telling one of their reps what an awful company they are, and that if he has a job in mind for him, great, but he's not holding his breath.
I guess that was actually three job related incidents.
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Ah, this IS encouraging news! As talented as Gwyn is, I have great expectations that whatever job comes his way will be even BETTER than what he had.
:2thumbsup;
Aleta
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Where in California would this be?
I must have the wrong end of the stick because I was under the impression you liked California! :rofl; Didn't you spend quite a few years there? Maybe that's why you don't like it!
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I do like California, not necessarily this part of it, but my trust in American companies is at zero. We cannot afford to go through the whole moving process again if there's any chance (and there always is) that six months from now, the company will say "we're merging/we're dissolving/we don't like you/we need to cut staff/our CFO absconded with all of the company's money/we're blaming you for something that we did because it means that we will keep our jobs and who cares what happens to you". All of these are possible, even probable, in the current work climate. The only way I'd be willing to move my family again is for a job that is guaranteed to last, and such a job does not exist in most fields today.
(At Gwyn's last job in California, they tried to blame him for the decision to purchase a machine for a quarter million dollars that was next to worthless for what they did there. The machine was purchased before Gwyn was even hired, and they knew that. There are a great many individuals out there with no shame whatsoever.)
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I REALLY hope Gwyn finds the job he needs whereever you are now so that there's no relocation necessary. You're right .... no job offers any guarantees or security at all, so there will always be risk in relocating. Best of luck to you ...........
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Still plugging for you guys! Hope something good comes your way sooner rather than later! That is my prayer! Just hope it is a job that he will love, you know? So many people just work to be working, but hate doing it! Im hoping he gets one that he can be passionate about.
lmunchkin :kickstart;
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Cariad, I am just reading this thread for the first time. I only read the first page and then decided I had to respond. I am praying as I write this that something has changed and things are better for you and your family.
I am so sorry you all are going through this. My husband and I are self-employed, so there is no fear of being the result of "reconstructuring", but every day I live with the fear of everything just...going away. Losing everything! That's just me...a pessimist at heart. :/ I can only imagine what y'all are going through and, again, I'm so very sorry. Look into San Antonio for jobs. For some odd reason San Antonio, or maybe it was Texas as a whole, has done okay in this horrible economy (or so I've heard). I hope I'm not wrong or giving poor advice. I'm sure others on here know more. And as much as I love this country, I have had the same thoughts as you mentioned. It's terrifying.
Hugs to you and your family. :cuddle;
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Just throwing this out there because Gwyn is an automotive engineer........ The fumes from gasoline are what really ignite. So we should only need a cup of gas to run a car for miles and miles. Instead of fuel injectors they should have fume injectors. Then we would not need so much gas because we would be running on fumes which are really what ignite.
He can have this. :2thumbsup;
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we would be running on fumes
I've been running on fumes for years anyway! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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Continuing to think of you, Gwyn, and the boys!! Hang in there!!! :grouphug;
xo,
R
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Thanks for the continued support and interest in our personal struggles. It is so appreciated, everyone.
News, news, news!!
Gwyn has a phone interview this evening with California. That was fast.
He also spoke to two different placement agencies this morning. I am not clear on which one said what, but the gist: they want him to consider a job in Indianapolis. I said no! Gwyn had anticipated this reaction and told the person that that would be incredibly unlikely. Then this might have been the same agency, but the guy has a position in South Wales. Really? Who knew? Gwyn tried to guess which company and was told he was wrong, so now he thinks he has it sussed through process of elimination. This time last year I was saying that I could picture myself living in Wales. Perhaps I should have kept that to myself. I had NO IDEA the universe was listening, as it never has listened to me before.
Oh, and one of the agencies actually knows his former boss because this person (the guy who let him go and who had to take a parting dig at Gwyn as he was leaving) has also been calling around trying to find another job. Gwyn and I were just discussing last night if that guy had any clue that it seems pretty obvious that his department is being rapidly eliminated. Gwyn went to lunch with the designers who are left, and all are looking for other work, too.
Just throwing this out there because Gwyn is an automotive engineer........ The fumes from gasoline are what really ignite. So we should only need a cup of gas to run a car for miles and miles. Instead of fuel injectors they should have fume injectors. Then we would not need so much gas because we would be running on fumes which are really what ignite.
He can have this. :2thumbsup;
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Gwyn appreciated this, too! (Although he did then treat me to a short lecture on how you cannot control something or other with fumes, but you can with droplets, and I had to pretend to fall asleep to get him to stop. :rofl;)
Kelly, I so understand your fear. There does not seem to be any safe haven for the middle class any more. I wish I knew what the answer was. I am hoping that you feel more stable in your financial/business situation as the economy recovers.
Off to collect the children. I'll report back when I find out how his phone interview went. Fingers crossed for something positive to come from this! Again, thanks to everyone for your responses, good wishes, and of course, your humor! This has nothing to do with kidney failure, yet all the same, I don't know how I would have made it these past two weeks without IHD.
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Gwyn has been asked to attend a second interview with California. He was unclear whether this was with the company or some third party company, but they want to see him next week. I think they want to fly him to California, but he is not totally sure about that.
Also, the recruiter for South Wales has asked if he would be available for an interview next week. If he does take trips to both Wales and California, we may extend our stay in one of them and take a little holiday. Most likely California.
He is getting slammed with recruiter calls, which is *not* a complaint, just I am really not ready to move yet. Still hopeful about the local opportunity, but have not heard back from them. If he does not hear from them soon, he will call them back and let them know that he is very interested in them but that he will have to take the first reasonable offer that comes along.
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Gwyn sure seems to be in demand - which is a wonderful reflection of his obvious talent. I know it most likely will mean a move for all and disruptive for the kids etc, but perhaps whichever way it pans out will be a really wonderful surprise, even for Liot !
My continued best wishes and hopes for awesome news real soon !!!
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Where in CA? I'm from NorCal originally.
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Gwyn has been asked to attend a second interview with California. He was unclear whether this was with the company or some third party company, but they want to see him next week. I think they want to fly him to California, but he is not totally sure about that.
Also, the recruiter for South Wales has asked if he would be available for an interview next week. If he does take trips to both Wales and California, we may extend our stay in one of them and take a little holiday. Most likely California.
He is getting slammed with recruiter calls, which is *not* a complaint, just I am really not ready to move yet. Still hopeful about the local opportunity, but have not heard back from them. If he does not hear from them soon, he will call them back and let them know that he is very interested in them but that he will have to take the first reasonable offer that comes along.
Your getting farther away from me!!! I hope the local thing works out, but a job period is good! It is stressful to move...every year for the past 3 years I have moved...it gets exhausting moving all my stuff all the time!!! Hang in there!!
xo,
Rachel
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I'm hoping the disguise is being peeled away....
This certainly does look like it is shaping up to be that opportunity in disguise! :2thumbsup;
And at the very least....a holiday is in the offing! :clap;
Aleta
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Your getting farther away from me!!! I hope the local thing works out, but a job period is good! It is stressful to move...every year for the past 3 years I have moved...it gets exhausting moving all my stuff all the time!!! Hang in there!!
xo,
Rachel
Moves are incredibly stressful! Three times in three years is madness!
If we do have to move in a rush, I am hoping that Gwyn and I can meet up with the Chicago crowd before we go. Rachel, you would have to join us! I am still not over the trauma of not meeting you in Vegas.... Watch this space, and I'll let you know. If you need a place to stay for a few days, we will prep the guest room for you, but we simply will not take no for an answer.
Gwyn has his job interview with California next week. Although in some ways it is the perfect time to take a holiday, we have decided to not try to combine. We lived there, so it is hardly a dream holiday for us (although I would get to see my wonderful, wonderful friend Mark!).
So, Gwyn is going to go on his own Monday, coming back either late Tuesday or early Wednesday. Everything is moving so quickly, my head is spinning a bit. UK or California? Fight to stay in Milwaukee? Take a chance on Australia? I did not think I would be wrestling with these issues NOW. Whatever move we make, I want it to be the last move during the kids' lives with us. That means staying at least 12 years, but probably the rest of our lives. I am tired of moving.
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You are going to think I'm crazy. We're moving and I'm all stressed. But we are just moving a little way down the same road we live on now! It will be the first time in 19years that we've moved. I absolutely HATE moving! Hey, would we be considered part of the Chicago crowd? Who else lives near Chicago? We are about an hour and a half east of Chicago. My husband's sister used to live in Milwaukee but now lives in Sheboygan Falls. Lol!
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Hey, would we be considered part of the Chicago crowd?
The "Chicago Crowd" is a self-identifying group of people in the area. So, CebuShan - if you believe you are a member, then you most certainly are!
There are quite a few IHDers in the area, and I don't dare list because I'll forget someone and they will feel slighted. We will all have to discuss if our move becomes imminent.
Good luck moving house. It is a huge undertaking, even if it is just down the block.
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I have to admit being biased toward California, 'cause then you'll be "next door"! :bandance;
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I have to admit being biased toward California, 'cause then you'll be "next door"! :bandance;
We'd be only 400 miles apart! :yahoo;
I'm putting a tick in the pro-California column....
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All due respect DD, but I actually believe the real news item here is that Cariad would be moving that little bit closer to me!!! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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Oh no Richard, hasn't CA had enough scandals?!
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All due respect DD, but I actually believe the real news item here is that Cariad would be moving that little bit closer to me!!! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Uh-oh, does that cancel out her pro-California tick?
Wait... what!!??! Did I say that out loud?
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Multiple job offers sounds like good news to me!
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You all are so cute! Thanks for the smiles.
Gwyn is sitting in his interview right now. I feel myself falling into a depression. I do not know what to do anymore, once again I don't even know where we are going to be next month let alone next year. The weather is turning gloomy, and of course COLD. Our power bill is next to nothing this month (~$160) but I just know we are hurtling toward those $500 bills.
I have been thinking how much employers in this country have turned into greedy, anti-family, anti-everything bullies. At Gwyn's last job, his boss never seemed to go home at night. He was like some sort of freak of nature - would get there at 5AM, leave last at night. Gwyn thinks he is married, but how could a marriage possibly survive that unless this woman has resigned herself to the fact that what she wants out of life just doesn't matter to anyone. The idea that we should not have any lives or anything that matters to us outside of making money (usually for someone else) seems to get deeper entrenched in this culture every year. I just don't know how we are going to survive this again, not just the money but the disruption to our lives. The recruiter with the Indianapolis job keeps aggressively trying to get Gwyn to pursue that. YOU MUST BE FLIPPING JOKING. FIND SOMEONE IN YOUR OWN DAMN STATE AND LEAVE US ALONE!!! Gwyn has started to propose different ways he could take the job to me. It all comes down to the same scenario - I live alone with the kids most of the winter, he misses out on their lives, we grow further apart. Oh, but then Gwyn says he will make them promise to send him to Wales end of next summer. Well, of course I completely trust this random corporation and annoying recruiter. :sarcasm; The job I believe would come at a pay cut.
I have to go to some meeting with a guy who heads up some environmental campaign. Well, don't have to, not sure why I even agreed to it, but maybe it will take my mind off things. I warned him that I am happy to listen to what projects they are undertaking, but my husband just lost his job and there is no way we can afford to give any funds. He still wants to tell me about their work, reach out to the citizens sort of thing, so what the hell.
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:cuddle; I know what you mean about bosses who are "anti-family", or so it seems they are.
It's difficult to get through the day when you know that tomorrow is going to bring a life change, or maybe not. ::) It's very unsettling, and I am so sorry that life has dealt you this great uncertainty. I am still hoping that the end result will be better than you could possibly have imagined.
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I have been thinking how much employers in this country have turned into greedy, anti-family, anti-everything bullies.
I totally agree!!! Aaron tends to have workaholic tendency too. I keep telling him to keep life in focus. That no one wishes they would have been at the office more on there death beds! Of course his family's measure of someone's worth is their paycheck! :urcrazy;
I feel myself falling into a depression. I do not know what to do anymore, once again I don't even know where we are going to be next month let alone next year. The weather is turning gloomy, and of course COLD. Our power bill is next to nothing this month (~$160) but I just know we are hurtling toward those $500 bills.
Hang in there the best you can friend! :cuddle; Thinking of you!!
xo,
Rachel
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Thanks MM and Rachel. I do appreciate it.
Gwyn said the interview seemed to go OK. I don't know what to hope for at this point. I have felt this depression coming on since yesterday and today it's been hitting me hard. It usually takes me a couple days to get past it, and I think having Gwyn out of town probably initiated it.
Liot's best friend is now on his bus and the driver shouted at them for messing around. I tried to talk to Liot about it and he just would not speak, so I had him sit on the naughty step for about 10 minutes, checking in with him every few minutes to see if he was ready to talk. FINALLY he told me what solutions he and his friend and his teacher had discussed. Since he would not talk to me on the drive home, I refused to take them to Whole Foods for pizza (sorry, Aidan! You did nothing wrong!) and just made them pasta at home. Saved $12 there at least. We are out of milk, though, and since we did not go to Whole Foods I did not have a chance to buy more.
Liot's best friend lives with his brother and mother since their father could not find work in this state. He is down in Texas, and their mother has to do all of this herself, while working a full-time job. I told her about Gwyn's job and the interview and that we may need to pack up and flee. She said "God, we should sit down and talk when it's not.... this." (Looking up at the clock, two minutes to closing.) We have become good friends these past few months, and I really wanted to have a chance to become closer. She almost started crying when the teacher told her about the bus because she thought her son had scratched Elliot's face again. I can tell that the stress of trying to handle everything on her own is really wearing on her.
Liot was just not himself. He was and he wasn't. He does not like to talk about anything uncomfortable, so the 'I don't know' blow off was typical of him. However, when I asked him if he wanted to move to California, he said "Do you want that, Mommy?" I should have just said yes, I am kicking myself over it now. I said something about how it was so expensive, and it is often too hot and smoggy. He went over to the pantry and pretended to look in it and stood there and cried. This is my second child - that is NOT normal 5-year-old behaviour. All I could do was give him a hug and tell him that it is not definite now, and we should try not to worry about it until it happens. I declared a no screen night (when I was angry with Liot) so instead we played board games - Guess Who and Trouble (Star Wars Edition). Liot and I were a team for Guess Who, and we lost both times, but no matter. Liot won the game of Trouble. Aidan said it was so fun, and I could not resist saying 'See!? No screens tonight, and we didn't DIE!' They are in bed and I see that Gwyn's plane has landed safely, so that's something.
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OK, I am filled with dread right now. Just feeling utterly sick at heart, and I guess it isn't really explainable.
Gwyn received a job offer in California while I was sitting in class having a fantastic psychological anthropology discussion. There was almost no one in this session earlier, maybe because the weather is grim as can be, and while I usually worry I dominate conversations in class, there was an excuse to talk a lot today as there were just so few people there. I want to write about my class in another thread that's already been posted, but I fell back in love with anthropology this morning, probably at the very moment that Gwyn was discussing the offer.
The offer is good, just not good enough. It would be a dream job for Gwyn, with the added benefit of this spectacular education that he would be receiving. The salary would not be a pay cut, in fact, it would be a decent rise. No bonus, no 401k match. They want him to start YESTERDAY. We have been over this every which way, trying to find a way to make it work. The ReLo is a joke, but they did say there was a little room for negotiation. Our home is in no condition to sell. Gwyn says they do a lot of work in Detroit, and that perhaps he could work the first six months or so there. We don't live in Detroit, though, so it's not exactly a perfect solution, better than not being able to see each other at all. Gwyn has a phone interview with Britain next week, though I have a strong feeling they would offer no ReLo and then it would be a non-starter.
He also contacted a director from the local company with jobs entirely in his field, the one where the president of that company is supposedly best friends with the owner of the company that we just sued. This director, Gwyn considers him something of a friend, emailed back saying he was in Europe but that the the president had said "we would be willing to help you if we can". The director, apparently not seeing or refusing to see how insulting this was told Gwyn that he would get him in touch with the guy he'd be working for as soon as he's back from Europe. The director is not the problem. I thought we were going to cut the nonsense out this time. Willing to help??!! FOR F*%$S SAKE!!!!! This is not a request for charity, this is a highly skilled professional offering you his services at a fair price!!!! Who the HELL does this president think he is??!! I love the 'willing' as if this is something they are doing as some great big bloody favor, and then the 'if we can'. IF YOU CAN?! IF YOU CAN?! You posted the job on your bloody site, are you serious that you want to make it sound like somehow you might not be ABLE to hire Gwyn. Usually, having prior experience with Gwyn is an incentive for companies to hire him. This is the only place on earth where it seems that knowing him already is some sort of liability, and for the LIFE of us, we don't know why. Gwyn defended this company to his previous employer in CA, because that employer was trying to cheat this company by not following the terms of the contract. When the president's "best friend" (Gwyn's former employer) ASKED this person to hire Gwyn (so that Gwyn would stop demanding that this jerk actually pay him because we had little things like bills to pay) the president STILL found an excuse (a really, truly, transparently LAME one) to not hire Gwyn.
Anyhow, that's where we are. I keep saying to Gwyn A job offer is GOOD. It's better than the alternative. and he answers, quite rightly, The alternative is easier.
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Oh my...so much to think about here! I can certainly see how you and Gwyn would feel insulted by the whole "We'll help you if we can" email. Not cool.
What do you think y'all will do?
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Very sorry for all you're going through. Between the job situation, the relocation situation, dealing with the needs of your boys ..... it's a real crazymaker !!! And I really respect how you're handling it and appreciate that you're continuing to come here for support and to 'vent'. I really hope it works out for the very best and that you all continue to get multiple options to choose from to make the very best choices for your family. You are in my thoughts.
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It is a crazy job market out there. I just had a mandatory internship workshop, which included an interesting discussion of how the interview process has changed. It used to be a much more equal exchange, at least for those interviewing for skilled jobs. The company offers X,Y, and Z, and you offer them your skills at A, B, and C. Not anymore. The company won't offer a damn thing except the possibility that you might get a paycheck, for less money than before, and with twice the responsibilities. You, on the other hand, had better be offering a skill set above and beyond what anyone else can, and be ready to go the minute you punch in, no training needed. It's terrifying if you desperately need a job. Heck, my internship interview was terrifying, and they aren't paying me in anything but the course requirement I need to graduate and real work experience I can put on my resume. For 16 hours a week of skilled labor.
Hey, the latest scary trend for maternity leave for paralegals in the local law offices is to find a volunteer. Rather than pay for a temp, they advertise the position when their paralegal is about 7 months pregnant. They collect apps from local paralegal and law students, and even some unemployed graduates. The pregnant paralegal trains them, and then the position is held for the first in line, who is called in as soon as the mom-to-be goes into labor. The "volunteer" is expected to work at least 32 hours a week, unpaid, for the full 3 months of the maternity leave. If you are really lucky, you might get offered a full time position from them, but mostly, it's just work experience to put on your resume, as you get booted as soon as mom is ready to work.
And the applications come in by the dozens and they have people wait-listed for them in case the first choice can't do it.
Hope something falls in line for you soon, cariad.
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So sorry Cariad. Something is bound to surface soon! This economy is Pitiful.......
Thinking of you,
lmunch
:kickstart;
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Gwyn is writing down a list of questions to ask their HR Director.
I want to sit down and talk to my older son about it. We told him tonight and I asked him if he wanted to have his father live in CA so that he could stay here, and he did not cry, but the fact that he just stood there shaking his head and wouldn't speak, I think he was worried that he was close to crying.
jbeany, that's pretty shocking about bringing in volunteers to take over these paralegal positions. Gwyn had a supervisor try to take over for him in Europe once when he was about to leave a company under less-than-ideal circumstances. Since the supervisor was a different type of engineer entirely, Gwyn was slammed with messages all week, all some variation of Where are you and who is this idiot they sent in your stead? Employees who don't know what they are doing can cost a fortune in lost credibility. I would not run a business that way.
I am debating whether to tell my parents. They live in SoCal, so that's another aspect to the nightmare of moving back. I'll endure the Wisconsin winter to have 2,000 miles between me and The House of Crazy. Thanks for the thoughts and support, everyone. We shall be talking about little else until a decision is reached.
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I really sympathise with your moving dilemma. Now that we have made the decision to move, everything seems to be going wrong! Most of the power has gone out in the mobile home we are currently in. The landlord won't fix anything so it is up to us. (But he hasn't raised the rent in 19 years either. Jim is just tired of constantly shelling out money, long story!) Then last night, my van got a flat! Picked up a nail. I keep thinking that with D and meds, maybe we can't really afford to move and we are only moving a couple miles down the road!
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OK! Rapid changes. Did we miss some sort of announcement that the world is in dire need of engineers, everywhere but Milwaukee??
Gwyn had an interview scheduled for next with the UK. He rang them up yesterday to try to have that moved to earlier, and was told that it was lucky he phoned as this was a job on an account that they had not actually managed to get signed yet, and were not confidant that they would. So, that was them out last night. This morning Gwyn received a call from the same UK company saying that another position had cropped up and could he interview today for it. They set the interview for 3:30 UK time. At 9:45 AM here we were assuming that he was being given the brush off. Gwyn was about to call and ask if they had changed their minds when he looked at the World Clock and saw that they have switched to Greenwich Mean already (we don't change our clocks until Sunday). Ten-thirty he gets the call and talks to this person for nearly an hour. They are going to set up a second interview with him next week. Gwyn feels fairly certain that they will make him an offer. Again, they want him there immediately. He was told a lot about what to expect from a job there.
Here are our Pro and Con lists, but I don't think we are much closer to a decision:
Cal Pro: Weather, friends, exciting opportunity (for Gwyn), salary, healthcare
Cal Con: no job security, traffic, smog, cost of living (esp. housing), parking, family, work climate
UK Pro: Gwyn's family (I like my in-laws), Gwyn's friends, job security, out of America, holiday (we assume it will be standard UK holiday), sense of humor (listed as a job requirement for position!), career development, opportunities to move to other countries esp. in Europe, healthcare (inc. private insurance), bonuses, more distance between my family and us, work climate, travel expenses, more relaxed attitude in general
UK Con: Weather, salary (though there are some amazing benefits), cost of living (housing, certain basics), friends (as in I don't have established friends there), uncertain opportunities for me, uncertain school opportunities for kids, culture shock for kids, uncertain ReLo
:waiting; :waiting; :waiting; :waiting;
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I dunno about Cal. I just finished reading "Boomerang", and CA is financially in an ungodly mess. It's the USA's version of Greece. Explore that very carefully. And we have all heard about the austerity measures being undertaken in the UK. I know my son has been affected by that.
Call me crazy, but I'd take UK weather over CA weather in a heartbeat. I learned to love the soft, grey, cool days. I'm soooo over heat! And the UK doesn't have a "fire season" like CA does.
Very hard decisions, especially when there are kids to think about. But there has to be money coming in, otherwise the kids will suffer from not having a place to sleep or food to eat. Moving is pretty inconsequential compared to THAT.
You and Gwyn are both smart people, and I know that you will make good choices. You love your kids, and no matter what you end up doing, they will be fine because they have loving and caring parents.
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You and Gwyn are both smart people, and I know that you will make good choices. You love your kids, and no matter what you end up doing, they will be fine because they have loving and caring parents.
I heartily second that! We often forget how resilient kids are AS LONG AS THEY ARE LOVED!
So, whatever you choose, I guess it means that we are going to have to travel further to visit you! :rofl; :rofl;
:grouphug;
Aleta
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I'm happy to see you have some options opening up at this point (and am crossing my fingers that Milwaukee comes through too !! Can't hurt to be hopeful that the Milwaukee need for engineers might change !)
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CAL PRO: Marc lives there and he has camped from Mt Shasta to San Diego and from Big Sur to the Colorado river. He can tell you about hundred's of camp areas.
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I took this yesterday.
CalPro:
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Another CA pro: Northern is soooo much nicer than southern! You could visit my Mom (who is not crazy & loves company!) she lives on the coast and has a beautiful view of the ocean. On second thought, why don't you move into the house we are moving to and we will move back to CA! :rofl;
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Oh. My. God. Karol that picture is simply divine!
CAL PRO: Marc lives there and he has camped from Mt Shasta to San Diego and from Big Sur to the Colorado river. He can tell you about hundred's of camp areas.
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :2thumbsup; It is getting really heavy over on the Cal Pro side of the scales!
MM, you're crazy! (you said I could ;D). No, absolutely right on the positives of no fire season. That is one horrible memory (well, months of memories) that I have from our latest time there, everything was spontaneously combusting around us. We would come outside and the car would be covered in a layer of ash. Aidan's soccer games were cancelled due to wildfire making for unbreathable air. It got old. The hours of my life wasted in a car every bloody day also was beyond wearing. Cannot agree with you on the heat, though. I have a pretty wretched case of SAD and I need the heat and light to be functional. That is a UK Con for sure, at least in winter. Summer, I could not get enough of those endless days. Having been in CA for the meltdown of the US financial system, I know only too well what a mess the whole state is in. One of my best friends is an economist, and he once put it this way: Pretend you're in debt. (Gee, I'll try!) Let's say it's a substantial amount of debt, around $250,000, you'd be concerned, right? It would be a struggle, you'd have to make a lot of adjustments, you might not be able to pay it back, but there would be some hope. Now let's say that overnight increased to $8 million. That is the type of situation that California is up against. Yes, Cal Con.
Aleta, yes, PLEASE come visit us, wherever we land. Door is always open.
Thanks for the support, Todd. Yes, options, even logistically difficult ones, are certainly preferable to what we were facing last week.
CS, I love the Bay Area, but I don't dare open up the NoCal/LoCal debate right now. That could last weeks.... :)
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UK Con: [...] uncertain school opportunities for kids, culture shock for kids, uncertain ReLo
When I was a kid, we moved very often. I went to two preschools, four primary schools and two highschools. My brother and I got used to being the new kids. I think it was good for us.
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UK Con: [...] uncertain school opportunities for kids, culture shock for kids, uncertain ReLo
When I was a kid, we moved very often. I went to two preschools, four primary schools and two highschools. My brother and I got used to being the new kids. I think it was good for us.
Thank you, Nat, this is unbelievably appreciated. Gwyn began tearing up when I read it to him. I told him that if our kids turn out anything like you, we'll count ourselves lucky.
Wanted to share these school photos of the kids. Keep in mind, we've been so distracted, we completely forgot about picture day, so the boys were not wearing their usual formal gear, and they had not even combed their hair properly. Aidan has told us he wants to grow his hair long, and we always tell him he's got 'soccer player hair', so he seems to like the look of the unkempt, flowing locks.
Anyhow, I was shocked to discover how great these pictures turned out. Aidan, who is gorgeous (and cannot stand the embarrassment of hearing this :rofl;) has never been particularly photogenic. This photo manages to capture what the world sees when they meet him face to face.
Liot was wearing his shirt that he painted with a water pistol on holiday. It would not have been my first choice of attire, but that mischievous glimmer of a smile could not be any more Elliot unless they were able to insert a microchip with him saying "No, Mommy, that's a brachiosaurus. See that bump on the top of his head?...." (He actually said this to me in Chicago, once again correcting my pitiful dinosaur ignorance. He was three.)
We can have the photos redone for free. I love the Aidan shots and don't think we could do any better. I may send Liot in with a nicer shirt, and hopefully they can work their magic with him twice.
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Such handsome boys!! :)
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They are BOTH great shots! :2thumbsup;
Aleta
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So Adorable Cariad! Thanks for sharing! Good looking lads!!!!
lmunchkin
:kickstart;
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Cariad your boys are super handsome and I would not do anything to change the pictures if any thing, I think that these kind of pictures where they are not all dressed up to take a picture, are the best ones. those are the ones that will always have a grate story to tell behind it.
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Aww, great photos!
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Thank you, everyone! I love them to bits! :thx;
Liot wants a haircut and his photo reshot, so we'll probably do that, but you're right, Pitagory - although these photos are so staged, the real kids shine through because we did not plan for this at all.
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love the boys' pics!!!
xo,
R
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Great pictures!!
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I was so excited to see photos of the boys Cariad and even more so since having met you and Gwyn. I was searching for bits of each of you in them and there they were!
Thanks for sharing these with us. :cuddle;
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Awww, I love school photots! They're gorgeous, cariad.
;D
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You all are so sweet! The quickest way to a permanent spot in my good graces is to compliment my children! I never tire of hearing them admired.
:thx; :thx; :thx; :thx;
Update: Gwyn signed an offer, so he is now employed again. He starts Monday. Yes, as in less than 5 days! They have promised to make allowances in these early months for him to fly back and forth as we pack up and get out of Milwaukee, hopefully for the last time!
It is not ideal, nothing about this is ideal, HOWEVER this did sort out better than we could have dared hope. I guess MM was right, the universe did actually send us a blessing in disguise, instead of the usual disaster that is too lazy to pretend to be anything else! Wonder of wonders! :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo; Because of Gwyn's severance agreement, he will draw two salaries for a brief while. This is just the symbolic Eff You he wanted toward the company that sacked him.
Oh, and now that he is employed again, I may as well pass along our amusing cautionary tale. After G was let go from the first company, he sent an email to his colleague with an Onion article that he said could be about his former boss. The satirical article was about a company director being discovered to be 'an asshole'. This email accidentally went to his friend's work email instead of her personal account, and was intercepted by HR at their former workplace.
So, not only are they paying G while he is working for and being paid by someone else, but he called his boss an a-hole and got away with it. Just remember, kids, never send anyone an email if you are not prepared to see all of that information eventually leak out to the world. This would have been devastating if he had made that mistake while still employed with them, so I've made him promise to never, never, ever do anything like that again.
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Wait a minute...exactly where are you going? Is it CA after all? It's great news that he's found employment so quickly! How are you feeling about this? And the boys? Have you all had time to really process all of this? :clap; Maybe it's best that you don't have time to think, only to DO! This is fabulous news, congratulations to all of you!
Your boys look just like you and Gwyn!! It's amazing! Especially Liot!
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:2thumbsup; :yahoo; :clap; Congratulations on the job! Is it CA then? Just in time to avoid the midwest winter! Best of luck to you! If we can't meet before you leave, I'll be out there in July for my "decade" (class) reunion.
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Yes! :2thumbsup;
I think you forgot to tell us the three most important things...Locatoin, location and location! (City & State)?
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Update: Gwyn signed an offer, so he is now employed again. He starts Monday. Yes, as in less than 5 days! They have promised to make allowances in these early months for him to fly back and forth as we pack up and get out of Milwaukee, hopefully for the last time!
*GASP!* That was fast! (Though I bet it didn't seem that way to you.) Congratulations!!! :yahoo;
And: WHERE, woman, WHERE???!!! Geez, it's like pulling teeth...
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Slight change in plans! (It's good, though.) Because we have this mediation appointment that we are trying to change to late November, Gwyn has requested that they not ask him to keep flying to and fro. Mediation may be changed to week after Thanksgiving holiday, or may be mid-December as it's currently scheduled. They want Gwyn to start on a Monday (no idea) and do not have the time to prep for him to start this coming Monday, so it has been pushed back all the way to December 5. We lose the week or two of salary, but for the extra time and breathing room, I think it is more than worth it.
And: WHERE, woman, WHERE???!!! Geez, it's like pulling teeth...
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
D'oh! Left that out, did I?
I think you forgot to tell us the three most important things...Locatoin, location and location! (City & State)?
So I wouldn't make much of a real estate agent!
City of :angel; :angel; :angel; :angel; :angel;
State of Chaos, Confusion and.... California.
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:bandance; :bandance; :bandance; Hurrah! Someone else to visit (and an excuse to extend my trip!) when I go home next summer! Best of luck to you all!
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So I wouldn't make much of a real estate agent!
City of :angel; :angel; :angel; :angel; :angel;
State of Chaos, Confusion and.... California.
YAY!!! We're gonna be neighbors, we're gonna be neighbors! :bandance; :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;
Well, almost. It's just a five-hour drive! :yahoo; I can come see you when I finalize my Italian citizenship! You can come to Phoenix and stay for a long weekend! It's all so good.
I know California's not your first choice (particularly LA, yuck), but it's gotta be for the best, right?
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OK, I'll admit it now....I've been holding my breath waiting for good news on the Gwyn job front and while I love the colour blue, as a complexion shade it's not the greatest.
I'm relieved that this offer is here, ideal or not. :cuddle; :cuddle; :flower;
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The city of Angels!!! :2thumbsup;
Around the weekend of April 20th next year Gwyn and the boys are welcome to come with me and my boys to a campout at Diaz Lake. It will be about 100 fathers and sons catching fresh trout, riding quads and shooting guns in the desert.
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Oh, Cariad! I'm so very glad for all of you!
So you HAVE been able to rip the disguise off of this opportunity. :2thumbsup;
I'm still trying to find the opportunity in this torn rotator cuff! LOL! :bow;
:cuddle; Aleta
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SO AWEsome.
See... Karma pays back in odd ways and this change is well a blessing in disguise. I know it is upheaval for everyone, but I think this will be a Good Thing(tm) for all.
I am just so glad all is settled for you guys so you can finally put that stress to rest and start on the rest of the stresses of moving, handling the kids fears and angst, and all of that stuff.
I'm so glad for you both... :) xoxoxox
oh and btw the boys clearly get their good looks from their mother..... *snicker*
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OMG I am so happy that Gwyn has found a job, the job market is still really tough so this is fabulous news!
:o AND it's in Calif. ??? Well, it's not the worst place in the world! ;D
I am thrilled at the idea of being able to see you again! :yahoo;
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YAY!!! We're gonna be neighbors, we're gonna be neighbors! :bandance; :bandance; :bandance; :bandance;
Oh, yeah! I am really excited about this. Plus, when you move to Italy and we move to the UK, we can connect on the European side of the globe. Squeeeeee!!!
:bandance; :bandance; :bandance; Hurrah! Someone else to visit (and an excuse to extend my trip!) when I go home next summer! Best of luck to you all!
Cool! Oh, except I may be spending summer back in Milwaukee. This is in a best case scenario situation which I will explain in a moment. But then, there's always the chance to meet in the midwest!
OK, I'll admit it now....I've been holding my breath waiting for good news on the Gwyn job front and while I love the colour blue, as a complexion shade it's not the greatest.
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
monrein, I think you could pull off the blue complexion and make it look chic, but I do find oxygen to be too appealing to do without for long. :laugh: Thanks for the support. In the end, we are so very grateful for this. Too many people have it rough in manufacturing at the moment.
The city of Angels!!! :2thumbsup;
Around the weekend of April 20th next year Gwyn and the boys are welcome to come with me and my boys to a campout at Diaz Lake. It will be about 100 fathers and sons catching fresh trout, riding quads and shooting guns in the desert.
OH, Marc, THANK YOU - they would love this. Gwyn has already told Aidan, and it has softened much of the blow of moving. Aidan has never handled a gun before and is over the moon at the idea! Not sure we want to arm the five-year-old, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. :laugh: Gwyn was so happy to hear of this invitation, thank you so much for offering to include him. We will be in touch and hopefully can get together with you before then, too.
Oh, Cariad! I'm so very glad for all of you!
So you HAVE been able to rip the disguise off of this opportunity. :2thumbsup;
I'm still trying to find the opportunity in this torn rotator cuff! LOL! :bow;
:cuddle; Aleta
Oh, man, Aleta. Torn rotator cuff, I'm not sure I could find the positives in that one, either. I am so sorry. Thanks so much for the support, and I expect a visit if you ever find yourself in the neighbourhood.
SO AWEsome.
See... Karma pays back in odd ways and this change is well a blessing in disguise. I know it is upheaval for everyone, but I think this will be a Good Thing(tm) for all.
I am just so glad all is settled for you guys so you can finally put that stress to rest and start on the rest of the stresses of moving, handling the kids fears and angst, and all of that stuff.
Thanks, Richard! And we will be that little bit closer, so if you find yourself traveling through LAX, say on your way to Washington State, do drop by and give us a :waving;
I'm so glad for you both... :) xoxoxox
oh and btw the boys clearly get their good looks from their mother..... *snicker*
How sweet of you to say so. Flattery will certainly get you everywhere with me!
We actually have no idea where Aidan gets his looks from, it's a little insane how the girls have been after him from birth. Liot is a straight copy of Gwyn, as MM pointed out. Obviously I find Gwyn to be a looker in his own right, so I think they are both in for loads of attention from the girlies.
OMG I am so happy that Gwyn has found a job, the job market is still really tough so this is fabulous news!
:o AND it's in Calif. ??? Well, it's not the worst place in the world! ;D
True enough, me with my Seasonal Affective Disorder, it's probably the best place for me right now. In my defense, though, LA did try rather relentlessly to kill me. I hesitate to give that city a second crack at finishing the job. It's a great incentive to jump on getting my re-vaccination scheduled.
I am thrilled at the idea of being able to see you again! :yahoo;
I cannot wait, Karol. We are investigating houses to rent and will probably be living very, very close to your area if we have our way. I'd love to get together when your schedule allows.
So, Gwyn and I have talked this to death. We are meeting the estate agent tomorrow and will hopefully get some decent estimates on how we need to price the house and how long we can expect it to take to sell.
I have told Aidan that if all goes perfectly (which seems unlikely, but it could happen) I will fly back with him and his brother to spend the summer in Milwaukee so he can go to his summer program with all of his friends. That is assuming that some of his friends are still in Milwaukee since his very best friend's family has been trying to leave Milwaukee almost as long as we have.
Before Gwyn signed the offer we had a family meeting (never had one of those before, it felt very cheesy, like the Brady Bunch or something). This was when he was looking at offers from LA and the UK. We all decided that we wanted to go to Britain. The boys were all excited about it. Aidan chose the UK because we told him that they take soccer very seriously there (he even started training himself to call it football.) Liot wanted Britain because my brother-in-law is a veterinarian and so we promised him that if we move there he can get a dog. I chose it because I have wanted to leave America since long before I met Gwyn (although I had someplace a bit more exotic in mind before I had kids). Gwyn misses the more relaxed work environment, the loads of holiday, and his family.
So, once we had that settled naturally LA rushed an offer to Gwyn and gave him a week to accept. Fair enough, we cannot expect them to hold it open forever. Gwyn called Britain and they wanted to counter but they just did not have the time. The people that he talked to all agreed that the experience he gets in LA working on alternative fuel vehicles will be extremely valuable in the UK. Also fits perfectly with Gwyn's interests and politics. We have set a deadline of 18 months in LA and then we move. Of course, we've set loads of deadlines in the past and it never seems to go quite to plan, but we will try to meet this one. Aidan will be eleven, just when secondary school starts, so it will be a good time to transition. I have told Aidan to try to view the LA move as a sabbatical.
Now when I see snow in the air I just laugh. Six more weeks of this freezing cold silliness and then I'm free!!!
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Did you tell the boys about Knott's Berry Farm, Six Flags, Universal Studios, Legoland and of course...The Happiest Place on Earth, Disneyland? Not too far away is The San Diego Zoo and Sea World.
A 5 year old can use a 22 rifle. I do not own guns and was very apprehensive about my boys firing them. The fathers who set up the firing range are EXTREMELY diligent about safety. It is also good for the boys to learn about gun safety.
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So glad to hear that everything seems to be working out. Will keep you in prayer that your 18 month plan works also.
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America needs a third party. The Republicans and Democrats have sold their souls to the rich. They're taking money out of the U.S. and investing it in Africa and Asia. The tax breaks to the rich cost more than social security, Medicare and Medicaid, or the wars. And it's all so the top 1% can enjoy their ten houses, private jets, and private helicopters.
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Our talk with the estate agent did not go well. I think we are going to cancel the move if he does not come back with more encouraging news. He is talking ludicrous prices for our home. I am only willing to take so much of a loss before I'd rather stay here with the boys and face the winter on my own. Yes, I know, the market may fall further, but I don't see that it has anywhere to go. They are talking about prices rising slightly in 2012 in this area. It might be different if we were moving someplace where I wanted the kids to finish out their childhood, but we're not. I cannot justify losing that much on this place and then not being able to buy again until we find our way to where we ultimately want to stay. It's only by buying with the market so low that we are going to be able to make up for whatever we might lose here.
Gwyn only needs to stay 6 months and then they will not be able to sue him for the relo back. He could get a cheap place close to work, fly back here frequently. If I can get snow removal sorted, I think I could manage. Won't be happy about it, but would do it. Apparently, there are quite a few engineers in from Detroit who live apart from their families, and I would wager they are in an even worse situation - cannot sell for enough to allow them to move. We could sell for more than we owe, but not enough for me to see it as a good decision unless we literally have NO other choice.
The up side to it is that I would not have to take my boys out of a good situation. We have not canceled anything yet, so they are still enrolled in school, all their sport teams, all their activities, they can see their friends all the time. Gwyn is up for learning everything he can in as short a time span as possible, then coming to them in 6 months and telling them it just did not work out. They always have the option to offer him more to stay, though I cannot imagine that actually happening. I could put the house on the market in the meanwhile, see if we get lucky, but not commit to leaving.
Anyhow, that is my plan at the moment. Sad, but in a weird way, OK with it.
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At least having a plan can make you feel less out of control! It sounds like you've thought through this quite carefully. So many competing interests...a job for Gwyn, leaving the boys in the good situation they are in now...oh, so much to consider.
I may be wrong, but it seems to me that having money coming in has to be the first priority. Get that sorted and other things will more easily fall into place.
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Sounds like your latest plan is do-able (if not more than a little annoying and requiring some sacrifice). Probably best for you to plan for Gwyn to (as cheaply as possible with regards to living expenses) take the CA position for 6 months to both get the experience (for that UK opportunity) and bring in the income for awhile. In the meantime you and the boys can stay put while you try to get that house sold if possible so that you don't take too great a loss/less than you want to. Did you mention earlier that Gwyn might have some wiggle room to 'commute' for a bit ? If they're going to allow him to travel back and forth a bit, that might help (although it will be pretty tiring for him). GOOD LUCK WITH THE TRANSITION.
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Man, I was dancing the "get away from snow" dance with you! :rofl;
Well, this may not be exactly what you wanted, BUT, it sounds like you have found some silver lining!
Thinking of you. :2thumbsup;
Aleta
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OT but I wonder if Gwyn knows that the aussies belted Wales in another big Rugby (League) game the other day?! >:D
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OT but I wonder if Gwyn knows that the aussies belted Wales in another big Rugby (League) game the other day?! >:D
I don't know. :waiting; Let me go ask him for comment on the situation..... ;D
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OK! That went as expected.
Gwyn said he knew they were set up to play one another, but had not heard the results. Then he said "Be sure to thank him for me!" with a withering look that seemed to mutter "He's lucky there are at least a couple of oceans between us!" :laugh:
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If Gwyn is going to try the "commute" thing, I would suggest looking at Spirit Airlines. They have a lot of fares that are only $9 each way. Hoping things transition smoothly.
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Dude!! I would *not* wish Spirit on my worst enemy let alone my good mate Gwyn (withering thugby induced stares notwithstanding!). The pitch is terrible, and I am not even certain that they fly between MKE and LAX(or wherever G-man needs to be).
Indeed if it was a regular commute I would suggest either Southwest for the fares, but honestly given it's a 4+ hour flight each way, my personal preference would be to go with one of the bigger legacy carriers like American or United - the more miles racked up will get some elite status, and potentially ability to upgrade for more comfort on those sectores.
Actually if it's out of MKE, Frontier might also be a reasonable option going through Denver....
ok I'll take my airline geek hat off and go back to cheering for the aussies :) :ausflag;
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Whoa, Richard, you've got more American airport codes memorized than I do! I will pass along your considerate advice to Gwyn. We have a Visa card that gives us airline miles, but Southwest has the advantage of not charging any change fees and giving the once-customary two checked bags for free. Since we can use the relo for this far as I know, he could go with the higher priced carriers with a view to reap more benefits down the line.
Thanks all for the support. We are meeting with another real estate agent tomorrow. I am feeling really achy and am having minor anxiety attacks over this. This seems to keep happening to us, where we can never just live like normal people. It is so incredibly wearing. Gwyn and I have lived separately for probably over a year of our 11 year marriage. It's bonkers! I lit into my father over the phone. I am told that he really wants us to move to LA, which annoys me because he knows perfectly well that it is not what I want for me or my kids. So, when I told him that we were thinking of passing on the job he told Gwyn "You have to go where the job is!" and I shouted back at him "Wow, I don't think those words have been spoken in that house for quite some time!" We all know that my brother lives in their little guest flat. OK, yes, he is mentally ill, but everyone just seems to accept that and not really do anything to try to address it. He cannot be expected to take meds because he doesn't want to (uh, who do you think you're talking to?) Then there is my older sister, her husband, and their two kids. My father has been supporting them for who knows how long. They have a house that he bought for them in one of the most expensive areas of California (and therefore the world!) and my loser brother-in-law has not been fully employed since 2004. (Odd jobs here and there because he fancied himself some sort of big shot photographer when the only photo experience he had was working for my dad.) Those two so completely give me a screaming case of the willies.
My other older sister also with the house in the crazy-expensive area of CA bought lock stock and barrel by Dad, at least she and her husband are employed, although my father still pays for many things in their lives. I don't even want to know about the other two. My father once said that my one brother is such a saver, and my brother even had the cheek to say this to me. Uh, how hard is it to save when you never are expected to pay for anything?! He just spent six months in, I don't know, let's say Brazil, because he lost his job (in a very tough field, I have no doubt that that was not his fault) but he had the money because everything in his life was paid for. He was bragging to me (which is not like him so I don't mind it as much as most people) about how many euros he has in the bank or something, meanwhile he was crashing in our guest room after a plane ride over here that my parents paid for. B, you're too smart for this! Off the milk train already!
All of this to say I am beyond frustrated and really don't see it as too good for my health to be around these people, and I think all of them live somewhere in CA. We seem to be the only ones in this family that are expected to make the tough choices, force those tough choices on our kids, and actually afford our own life. Of course I want to be able to afford our own life, but what I don't need is to have it shoved in my face how no one else has to drag their kids all over the world or make their kids live apart from their father or sacrifice in any way that I can see. The saddest most gobsmacking part is that my father cannot afford this, I know, I've talked to his financial people. And this is not some shrinking violet of a person, he's actually quite mean when something rubs him the wrong way. I do not know why he tolerates any of it.
This, however, kind of made my day. My son is in this video that a friend of ours shot for a friend of his. I think A feels really famous now - he's in a YouTube video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7Pdhn-rPFY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7Pdhn-rPFY)
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oh you have NO idea just how much of an airline geek I am :)
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VERY cool! Tell your son I want his autograph. :2thumbsup;
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Ooooh! Very nice video of A! :2thumbsup;
Tell him I loved seeing him on TV! :clap;
And as for all the emotional "cr@p" associated with CA....well, that's your dad's problem. If possible, try to keep your family outside it. :cuddle;
Aleta
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Aidan was so very flattered - thank you Marc and Aleta! I am proud of how calm and well-spoken he was. I cannot tell if the bit of flushing has to do with being a bit shy, or if he had just taken time out of a basketball game with his teacher. Of course, I know those rooms where the kids were so well that it was obvious to me that Paul (star of the video) was asking a question to a group of kids in a different room (actually a different school), then Aidan's answer was spliced in as a reply. He was answering a completely different question, and I think it was interesting to him to see how editing works.
Gwyn interviewed with the problem company here in town. They had already given the job to someone else (internal promotion - that is fair enough) but I have no idea why they wasted his time and theirs interviewing him for a contract position that is so far beneath him that he could probably fulfill the job duties while working somewhere else. >:(
I guess the stress is wearing both of us down. We are arguing every time we speak to one another, which is not that often. This is not a good issue for us since there is a load of resentment that goes back to when we first moved back to America.
My father rang the other day and asked about the realtor that we found via a good friend of my widowed aunt. I told him that this guy did not seem to understand that this was a job interview and he failed it. We met with another estate agent and he said that the first person wanted to "fire sale" our property because "he wants someone else to sell the house for him". Then the new estate agent said "this is a full time job, I put in full time hours, and I want to be the one who sells your house, I don't want someone else to do the work for me." Yes, he had a salesman approach to our talk, but I think we need a salesman for this. His opening price suggestion was 25% above what the first realtor suggested, and the first realtor seemed to think we would end up another 10 to 15% below that. This made no sense to me. The first realtor was talking solely in terms of numbers - you have this square footage, your assessment is this, this is what you should get. I suggested that most of the information about our house is not in the square footage, and I also told him that no assessor has been in our house since it was gutted and rebuilt, so that number is just a blind guess. We went over this with the second realtor, who described how assessments are done, and that usually assessors will knock on a door after a house is sold and try to gain entry. He said they have no legal right to do this, and if you turn them away, as you should, they will say 'then I'm going to have to guess' and a good reply would be 'then go ahead and guess'. In other words, the first person seems to have no interest in telling this story of how the assessment is arguably way off, but the second person does. I am really angry, because even in a town as inconsequential as Milwaukee, there are the social climbers who have no interest in us as people because we are not wealthy. I feel like the first estate agent was just such a person. My aunt IS wealthy, so she does attract these people and she would never notice because they would never treat her this way.
We want to go with the second estate agent. My problem is, if the house does not sell, I'll probably be subjected to all sorts of 'I told you so' remarks. The only way we can prove that we do actually know a thing or two about our own home is to sell the property at a higher price. I also have a slight worry that we are going with the second realtor because he told us what we want to hear. Still, as important as correct initial pricing is to a house, the last thing we can afford to do is underestimate our home's value and give away tens of thousands of dollars. Once we set the price, we cannot raise it, so I think it would be stupid to hire someone who does not even seem to believe in the value of the product he would be trying to sell.
Sorry, this has been very much on my mind. My husband leaves in two weeks, we're barely on speaking terms, and my kids are going to be living without their father. My parents are threatening to visit which is always a nightmare, and I don't want to discuss Christmas presents for the kids when what they really want is to have their dad around. :(
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If you feel going with the second realtor is the right thing to do in order to get the price you feel you deserve, you need to say 'F.... off' to anyone who tells you 'Told you so'.
It is your house, your decision and you want to get your best price possible.
This is all too traumatic on all of you already, so anyone who isn't supportive of you in trying to sell the house deserves a big ol' "BITE ME" as far as I'm concerned !!!
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Yes, I think it is highly probable that you will hear a torrent of "I told you so"s, even if they are unwarranted. That just seems to be the nature of your relationship with the rest of your family.
Cariad, you and Gwyn are smart people. I know that this is an extremely distressing time for you both and that the strain is affecting your relationship, but underneath all of that, you are both intelligent and have a burning desire to do the right thing and make the right choices. You are both smart enough to trust your instincts. You are smart enough to wonder whether or not your choice might be unintentionally molded by "hearing what you want to hear"; you are already wary of making a choice of estate agents on something other than sound information. I would caution you against the equally tempting desire to make a decision based on this idea that you have to prove something. You don't have to prove anything to anybody. What you have to do is get the best price for your home in a very dicey market, and that is no easy task.
I guess it comes down to who you trust the most.
Of course your kids want their dad around, but hopefully in this age of instant telecommunication and video conferencing, you and the boys can figure out a way to make Gwyn's absence a bit more bearable. :cuddle;
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If you feel going with the second realtor is the right thing to do in order to get the price you feel you deserve, you need to say 'F.... off' to anyone who tells you 'Told you so'.
It is your house, your decision and you want to get your best price possible.
This is all too traumatic on all of you already, so anyone who isn't supportive of you in trying to sell the house deserves a big ol' "BITE ME" as far as I'm concerned !!!
Todd, that is so sweet. You got me to laugh, which I did not think was possible these days. Thank you.
Thanks, MM. You're right and I should really stop worrying about what others might think or say. Cannot control the thinking, and the saying I can certainly address as the issue arises. They know that I am not afraid to speak my mind, so that stops most of them. The last thing they want to do is give me an opening to let them know what I really think of them.
Gwyn and I are having our blow-ups, but I think are coming closer to making progress on this. I have decided that we can do this with frequent flier miles and an attitude that the kids can miss school and it won't damage them considerably.
Gwyn goes to CA for three week initially, then will be coming home for the Christmas holiday (they said that he could, although he may not be paid for the entire time). Then he will leave just after New Year, and I intend to fly out to CA with the boys for two weeks (roughly) in January. Then we will wait a month or so and try to return in February. March I think I can survive. I want to bring them out in April because Gwyn and the boys are set on trying to go on this camping trip that Marc invited them on, so long as we can manage and it does not interfere with their spring break where they get to spend 5 glorious days at their aftercare program, then the males are still planning on attending.
Anyhow, this basically comes down to, we are going to try to not go more than a month or so without another trip to look forward to. If the house sells (I hope!), then everything changes again.
Happy Thanksgiving, Americans
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:bandance;
If there is anything I can do for you guys on this end that would help please do not hesitate to ask. Really, I would be more than happy to do anything that might help out. What city will Gwyn be working in?
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I missed the video :(
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I missed the video :(
Huh! Not sure why they took it down, because it is still up on YouTube. Hopefully they have not been spammed or anything.
Try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CniDCT-52gM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CniDCT-52gM)
It's short and sort of has a little story to it, but if you just want to go straight to my superstar child, watch from about 2:30 to 3:00
Hope this works! :)
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:bandance;
If there is anything I can do for you guys on this end that would help please do not hesitate to ask. Really, I would be more than happy to do anything that might help out. What city will Gwyn be working in?
Thanks so much, Marc. I will send you a PM with Gwyn's work details. I don't know if you know the LA area, but we would be very grateful for advice on which neighborhoods are reasonably safe with good primary schools. If you happen to know anyone who wants to lease their home and can be flexible on lease terms (six months) we have good credit and always somehow manage to pay, and on time. We have been looking through the Craigslist ads, but that gets overwhelming pretty fast.
Thanks for the offer! I'll be in touch....
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I know the LA area well, and also know a couple realtors who may have rentals. Please let me know how I can help.
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I have friends and family go the LA area. I'll see what I can find out also.
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He's gone. :(
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:( I hope this time goes comfortably for you.. it's gonna be tough :( :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Oh gosh... :cuddle;
I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. What exactly is going to happen next? Do you know? When will you see him again? Will you go there or will he come to you and the boys?
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You are strong, Cariad! The days will pass quickly. :cuddle;
When Carl and I were first married, lo those many years ago, he was shipped overseas just two weeks after the wedding. And then he was gone for 6 months. No phone calls, even, only letters that sometimes took weeks to arrive since he was on a ship.
That separation only made us determined to celebrate the time we have together even more. After 42+ years we still celebrate every MONTH!
Maybe you can find a new tradition in your family that will make the time apart go faster. :grouphug;
Aleta
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Oh, cariad. :cuddle;
I don't know what I'd do if Andy and I had to be separated for any length of time. Here's hoping you're reunited sooner rather than later.
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Damn and blast it. Too many nonsense-sandwiches for your family at present. But Aleta has a point, I too think you have it in you. My mum was a navy wife (dad was in submarines), and she used to say the time went alright, and sometimes it was good to have him out of her hair for awhile. She had her first baby while dad was at sea; they were stationed in Scotland, and my brother was born in Helensborough. I'll have a talk to her (on the astral) and get her to send some forbearance your way dear Cariad. I'm pretty sure she'll be able to work something out for you.
:boxing;
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Thinking of you both. :grouphug;
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Thank you everyone. I am handling it OK I guess, sort of feel deadened to the whole thing. The three of them were in tears on Sunday, even little Liot who is not a child who shows emotion much. I did not cry because I just felt like I couldn't.
Aidan seems like he's getting on with it, but Liot keeps telling me he wants his dad. This was the opposite of what I was expecting. My parents are in town and that causes much grief. I just had lunch with them. I am battling with them (as usual) over their annoying-beyond-belief avoidance behaviours. My parents have really only 4 different reactions to any conversation that they don't want to deal with: lie, say they cannot remember, criticize the person speaking, change the subject. So today I was talking about how horribly stress impacts health, and that being loaded up on prednisone as a kid was such a bad decision on the part of these so-called medical experts. My father immediately said "what do the kids want for Christmas" and I looked him straight in the eye, nonchalantly stated "Their dad." and went right on talking about stress and health and my life experiences. Made me feel better as it took him several minutes to recover from that answer and try a new strategy to derail the conversation. :rofl;
Damn and blast it. Too many nonsense-sandwiches for your family at present. But Aleta has a point, I too think you have it in you. My mum was a navy wife (dad was in submarines), and she used to say the time went alright, and sometimes it was good to have him out of her hair for awhile. She had her first baby while dad was at sea; they were stationed in Scotland, and my brother was born in Helensborough. I'll have a talk to her (on the astral) and get her to send some forbearance your way dear Cariad. I'm pretty sure she'll be able to work something out for you.
:boxing;
I love the term 'nonsense-sandwiches' and got quite a laugh reading that. Thank you so much, Nat. Tell your mum that I already feel calmer just hearing about her strength. She must have already fulfilled your request.... :) (Having a baby without your dad there? Wow. That puts my 'fear of having to shovel snow by myself' into perspective! :rofl;)
I don't know how I'd get by without knowing that I have you all to listen to me. Thanks. :grouphug;
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:cuddle; from me. Hoping that being on your own lets you find hidden strengths.
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Thank you, chook! Hugs are so appreciated.
I actually had a nice dinner with my parents and children last night. Yes, this proves it - anything is possible.
We went to the more casual sister location of Milwaukee's top restaurant. Our waitress was really nice and extremely professional which helps because my kids don't always have the strongest social skills. At one point she was taking Liot's plate away and he said "You tried to kill me right now." OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, LITTLE BOY??!!! My mother sussed it first, saying that he was referring to how the boys and I joking in the car on the way over that another restaurant tried to kill us the night of my husband's birthday with gianormous portions of everything. (The waiter was clearly talking to the chef and telling him to pile on the extras, their portions usually are not so insane.) I explained the reference to the waitress and Liot said "I thought she would know what joke I was talking about." I responded "She wasn't in the car with us, was she?" The waitress then said "Well, we're all in the same conversation now." She then added as an aside that she has a ten-year-old nephew and understands when somewhat bizarre statements pour out of kids' mouths.
Spoke to Gwyn after dinner. It seems that many people at this company are not sure whether this job will actually last, and are doing what he is doing - trying it out for six months and then determining if there is any future there. So, I am very glad that we have made the decision to do things this way and not pull the kids out of school. The director of engineering at the Welsh company that I mentioned quite some time ago wants to discuss job possibilities with Gwyn. He has a phone interview scheduled with him next week. They understand that he is committed to where he is for at least 6 months. They must be quite keen. I hear those Welsh immersion schools are excellent, so we may just get out of this country after all.
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:cuddle; thinking of you always....
xo,
R
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:cuddle; I so understand how hard it is to be apart. My husband and I do almost everything together so being apart is difficult. When we were getting ready to move from CA to IL, he came out here first and was gone three months before he could come home again. Praying for you all, and that the time will go quickly.
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Thanks Rachel and CebuShan! So far the time is flying by. This is what makes me want to stay in school or get a part-time job - I don't really have loads of time to miss him. I wish a cleaning pixie would sneak into my house, but other than that, I cannot complain. I have good support from a friend, and as I'm sure my fellow midwesterners have noticed, it's freakishly warm here for this time of year.
Gwyn thinks he's found a decent place. The guy will agree to a six month lease and it has everything we are looking for. The primary drawback is the location - it requires driving absolutely everywhere, apparently. (I do remember this area - vaguely - from when we lived there.) With our new plan, we don't really have to worry about schools until August, so that's not an issue, and the boys and I will not be there most of the time so it does not have to be perfect. A safe area and close enough to his work that he does not have to spend his life commuting is the goal at the moment. We have two cars out there already, so it might just work.
OK, and today's chapter is entitled "You just never know!"
I mentioned attending the mediation recently, for the lawsuit. Did not go too well, and there is a status conference with the judge on Friday. (I do not have to attend - defendant does.)
Well, the lawyer and I were trapped in this room together for much of the time, so it was all about getting to know each other. He shared with me that his wife has had two kidney transplants! She had scleroderma and it has attacked her kidneys. Her first transplant lasted only ~4years, the second is still holding strong at over 6 years. So, when I kept mentioning that this defendant was messing about with us in March of 2010 while my husband was donating a kidney and stem cells to me (hinting that we are the very definition of 'sympathetic plaintiff') he had some appreciation for what I was talking about. I was able to tell him about the trial at Northwestern and he said something about how he did not know what happens if her second kidney fails, and I was able to tell him that it should all be fine so long as her PRA is not too high. I don't think he exactly knew what PRA was, but he said she probably knew her level, and I think just getting the term out there, if she does not know, she will be able to find out.
So, anyhow, I know I've wittered on about this point many times, but when we assume that others cannot possibly understand, you just never know. The person to whom you are speaking may know more than they are letting on. Trust me, I've been shouting from the rooftops about how this defendant is hurting a sacred kidney/stem cell donor, but it took conversational desperation for our attorney to open up to me about his wife's story.
Lecture over. Class dismissed.
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I am really sad today. My mother called, need I say more?
She is in the hospital with her own mother and I'm sure it's exceedingly stressful and upsetting for her, but I cannot be arsed to deal with her feelings. My grandmother is in her mid-90s and has declined really rapidly. It won't be long now, and it's for the best, even my mother can see that. My mother wanted to know what I wanted for Christmas. I am at my wit's end trying to write this paper and not being able to concentrate. My husband is missing major moments in his kids' lives and I wind up sitting them in front of a television and telling them I cannot play with them right now. I've been a pretty awful mom lately. I've been taking my stress out on my kids, shouting a lot.
I told my mother that everything got messed up with my birthday present so I don't really want to deal with a Christmas conversation. She said that of course they were going to get me something and I just shouted 'what the f*** do I need with material things right now? I don't want ANYTHING that you can buy me.' I told her to go be with her own mother, and she said she did not want to leave the conversation like this and I told her it was no different to everything else that she's let hang until it's far too late through my entire life, that her mother needed her a hell of lot more than I did and that she should just pay attention to her. Goodbye. My grandmother, though we were never close, is one of the sweetest people you will ever meet in your life, as was her sister. Maybe it skips a generation (or several)? :waiting;
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:grouphug;
Why is it that our relationships with our parents have to be so complicated ? ? ? ? ? :cuddle;
Just sending a hug to help you through this.
:grouphug;
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:cuddle; You are not a bad Mom, CarIad, just a stressed one. Since I have been in and out of the hospital several times lately, Jim & I are both so stressed. Our way of dealing with it has been a lot of shouting. We didn't realise how much until the dog started to whimper. So we are trying to tone it down for the dog! (he was in an abusive situation). Right now, I'm just trying to stay out of the hospital for Christmas. It will get better for you all. When does Gwyn get to come home? Anyway, here's another hug for you. Keep hanging in there! :cuddle;
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Sending you hugs, the kids will be ok, my mom was crazy and worse, I won't get into it, but it was tough for my sisters and I. And look how great I turned out (hahaha!!) You do the best you can to get through these things. :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;
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Why is it that our relationships with our parents have to be so complicated ? ? ? ? ? :cuddle;
Aleta, I think if we could answer this question, there would be a Nobel Prize in it for us!
Thank you, CebuShan, for the words of support and encouragement. It has got better now that I have my one stressful paper handed in and almost done with the second which is due at 5PM this evening. Better get back to it....
Sending you hugs, the kids will be ok, my mom was crazy and worse, I won't get into it, but it was tough for my sisters and I. And look how great I turned out (hahaha!!) You do the best you can to get through these things. :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;
Thank you, Karol! You truly are living proof that we can overcome a rocky start in life. I will keep trying to provide emotional stability for them, and other than that, just put my head down and do what needs to be done.
Thanks everyone! I am going to be OK. He returns late tomorrow (actually early Friday morning). :yahoo; :yahoo; :yahoo;
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G's back! Flight was quite delayed so we are both zombies today.
At salon right now waiting for color to set, bored. Someone entertain me!
Kids are so happy, and at child center now so G and I can grab lunch. Maybe the tea room?
Last time I was there my mother and I had aTWO HOUR argument in what I can only describe as 'angry stage-whispers'. Would like to leave them with a better memory of me from this year. :)
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Tea and scones! MMMMMMMMM :cookie; :cookie; :cookie;
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I hope you have had some lovely, lovely family time, soaking up the love and peace of the season. :cuddle;
:christmastree;
We need a smiley of the wreakage post package opening! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Love to you,
Aleta
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We need a smiley of the wreakage post package opening! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
I'll see if I can post a pic as a model of what we're going for. :rofl;
It's been a fantastic morning. This Christmas was far less stressful than any in recent memory. Gwyn and I had a long, (at times, painful) talk last night and I think we've made some breakthroughs, so that has just added to the feeling of peace that I've been seeking for so long.
My parents gave the boys iPod touches (once again, against my better judgment) but they seem quite taken with their new books for now. Score one for the power of a good story well-told.
Thanks for the Christmas wishes. Enjoy the time with your daughter, Carl, and of course those two little cuties! Give everyone a hug for me!
:cuddle;
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Thanks for the Christmas wishes. Enjoy the time with your daughter, Carl, and of course those two little cuties! Give everyone a hug for me!
:cuddle;
Done! And I'm glad you had a "less stress" Christmas! Our truly most wonderful gift was given to us Christmas Eve - news that another grandchild is on the way!
:2thumbsup;
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Thanks for the Christmas wishes. Enjoy the time with your daughter, Carl, and of course those two little cuties! Give everyone a hug for me!
:cuddle;
Done! And I'm glad you had a "less stress" Christmas! Our truly most wonderful gift was given to us Christmas Eve - news that another grandchild is on the way!
:2thumbsup;
Glad to hear you had a good Christmas, Cariad! :christmastree;
Congratulations, Willowtreewren! That is the best news! :laugh:
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Congratulations, Willowtreewren! That is the best news! :laugh:
Yep! It isn't "public" yet, but I know you won't tell. :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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Oh, Aleta! How marvelous! Congrats to all! When is the new arrival expected?
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My grandmother died last night. It was around 8:30 here, I was watching Finding Nemo with the boys.
Two deaths in one year. I don't think there will be a funeral, but I don't know. We cannot go even if there were.
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Oh, cariad! I'm so sorry. :cuddle;
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My sympathy, cariad.
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Oh, Cariad. I am so sorry for your loss.
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My condolences Cariad. Prayers for all that is needed.
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Thanks, everyone. It was not a huge surprise, she way 94 and really enjoyed her life and had the good fortune to decline rapidly. Mother sent an email last night with the details of her passing, which sounded peaceful and exactly what any of us would hope for when it's time. Because my mother had attached a picture of my grandmother, the email would not open on my phone, so I abruptly raced out of the bedroom to get onto the computer to read what I already knew.
I still have to call my mother, though. She seemed OK in the email, but I reckon it's hard no matter what. I wanted to make sure I did not wake her if she needed a lie-in, but as it's past 10AM there, I think I better ring the west coast....
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:cuddle;
Thinking of you and your family!
Xoxoxo,
Rachel
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:grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Oh, Cariad....
I'm so very sorry. :cuddle;
At least it was a peaceful passing. Hugs to your mom, too.
In answer to your question, the new arrival is due in July.
Aleta
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I am sorry for your loss, even with the consolation of a long-well lived life, saying goodbye is never easy. I am glad your Mom has you. :grouphug;
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Thanks so much, everyone. I truly appreciate you all taking the time to offer condolences.
The talk with my mother went fine. She cried a little bit, but overall seemed to be at peace with it. She asked me if there was anything I particularly wanted of my grandmother's, and I said any souvenir of her travels or something of cultural significance from Alaska (where my mother grew up). I asked for her to especially look for an eskimo yoyo. Anyone else play with these? Since my mother did grow up there, we used to have nice sets made of leather and animal fur, probably made by one of the native populations there (perhaps even Eskimos? I don't know.) I think my boys would get a real kick out of learning to use them. Yes, like the hula hoop, I have no doubt I could pick up an eskimo yoyo after all these years and keep it going for hours.
I am so grateful that my mother did not have to watch her mother linger on for years with severe dementia. That is what is happening with Gwyn's mam, and it is so devastating I can hardly bear it.
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Gah! I have to leave in 24 hours, the boys and I are all under the weather and I just have too much to do. I need to mail out returns from Christmas before that gets too far away, need to drop off the car at the shop to have a repair done from when another mom at the childrens center hit the car as we were parked in the loading zone. I so hope she doesn't fight me on this. The damage is not that bad, but I hate having to call her up when it's over and say "Hi, remember me? You owe me several hundred dollars! Happy New Year!" We don't know each other as her daughter is much younger than my boys, and I just hope she is still reachable. She was very embarrassed and apologetic when it happened. (I was not even in the car, standing by the curb with Aidan waiting on his school bus.) It has been almost a year since it happened, but as usual, too much to do and too little time so I am only addressing it now. I wanted to go to Costco today but that will probably have to wait until we get back.
Gwyn moved into the new place and says it's pretty good. He has his bed and he bought a dining table and chairs off Craigslist last night. He should have internet access, so I will probably be around as usual. He is borrowing airbeds for the boys and I sent extra blankets in the truck so those should be there and ready to use. Condo has laundry which is a necessity for me. I cannot go back to coin-op! I would love to be able to connect with any SoCal members, assuming both parties have the time and energy, but a warning, kids will be in tow. If it looks like it will work out on my end, I will try to connect via email, and I'll have my mobile, too. Please feel free to contact me if you like.
Ta for now!
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I guess you're probably flying, not driving. *sigh*
An hour before you get into L.A., look down and wave to me! I wish you safe journeys.
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:cuddle; for you, Cariad, on the passing of your grandmother.
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Sorry to hear cariad on both parts regarding Gwyn and your Grandmother. I still need to reed pages 2 thru 7 to get caught up.
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So, Cariad, where in So Cal did you move to? I spent over 11 years out there, and lived in 6 cities there. Some of them good, some not so good. The best city for kids, neighborhoods, and houses, was Thousand Oaks. Stay out of the high desert area.
I'm back in the northern Illinois area now, just a few miles south of WI. People and food are better here, but the weather sucks. I came back for a transplant, but my kids are still in CA.
Good luck to you!
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All my phone numbers did not carry over to my new phone, so hopefully you'll call me soon!
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Hi Kraig,
Well, it's a bit complicated where/if I am officially moving in SoCal. G's job is on the westside of LA which is too crowded/expensive and a touch too superficial for my taste. Everywhere I could picture myself living makes his commute too long. We are discussing N. Holl or Sherman Oaks area. Traffic is perpetual nightmare. I think we'd rather go to the UK though the weather is divine here. Oz won't have us. :( Meanies! Have to disagree with you re: better food in Wisc. Had my birthday dinner last night. Much to tell, pickies of amazing food, but that will have to wait as we are going to try to meet up with Karol for a working visit.
More later....
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:cuddle;
thinking of you...still....
xo,
R
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Great to see you both at the kidney prom last night - how long did you stay? I limped home, my poor ankle had enough abuse.
:thx;
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:cuddle;
thinking of you...still....
xo,
R
Thank you, Rachel, you are so very sweet!Great to see you both at the kidney prom last night - how long did you stay? I limped home, my poor ankle had enough abuse.
:thx;
Thanks so much for inviting us, Karol. We had a wonderful time. I want to say we left around midnight, but not really sure. The moment we seemed to be getting in the way and having to ask annoying questions rather than just helping, I suggested that they had the clean up well in hand and we should just go. Sorry we did not find you to say goodbye. I was surprisingly exhausted and not totally coherent by the time we left. Hope your ankle is recovered!
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Made it back, flight was ridiculously late but otherwise uneventful. It is weirdly not-that-cold in the house. I had the thermostat set to 60 for Sunday nights because I knew we would be returning on a Sunday, but we did not even take winter coats with us and I felt fine outside. There are about 1000 things bouncing round in my head that I have to do immediately. Not sure where to start. Bills, my advisor does not even realise I am moving, house needs a thorough clean, have to get the car repair bill to the mom at the childrens centre, contact Aidan's basketball coach, sign him up for baseball, get Liot back into gymnastics as he loves it, get to the lab for desperately overdue blood draw, vaccinations should probably be higher on my to-do list but aren't, need to look into cloning self so that I have a hope of making it through spring sport season with two kids going in opposite directions, still have a few Christmas returns, have not registered for all of my classes (well, the second one) as for some reason system would not let me, have to arrange Tuesday night sitter as I do not want to impose upon friends any longer (they would say it's not imposing and I would call them liars if I had any nerve whatsoever). I have no idea when I'm going to see my husband again.
I have loads of lovely moments to share from California, but for now, kids are finally in bed and I gave them cough medicine to knock them out. (OK, one of them really needed the cough medicine, and if you think that giving a healthy but thoroughly wound-up child a bit of nighttime cold medicine is not something that all parents resort to at a push, then you and I travel in very different circles). I need to sit down with a glass of wine and a cup of my new, proprietary blend rooibos and try to get back on central time. I have two weeks of Daily Show and Colbert waiting for me on the Roku, plus a fab book to return to on my Nook. Ta for now, darlings....
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Glad you are back safely!
Colbert and Daily Show have been particularly good recently, but then again, that's not that hard. Can't wait for the post S. Carolina episodes!
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Made it back, flight was ridiculously late but otherwise uneventful. It is weirdly not-that-cold in the house. I had the thermostat set to 60 for Sunday nights because I knew we would be returning on a Sunday, but we did not even take winter coats with us and I felt fine outside. There are about 1000 things bouncing round in my head that I have to do immediately. Not sure where to start. Bills, my advisor does not even realise I am moving, house needs a thorough clean, have to get the car repair bill to the mom at the childrens centre, contact Aidan's basketball coach, sign him up for baseball, get Liot back into gymnastics as he loves it, get to the lab for desperately overdue blood draw, vaccinations should probably be higher on my to-do list but aren't, need to look into cloning self so that I have a hope of making it through spring sport season with two kids going in opposite directions, still have a few Christmas returns, have not registered for all of my classes (well, the second one) as for some reason system would not let me, have to arrange Tuesday night sitter as I do not want to impose upon friends any longer (they would say it's not imposing and I would call them liars if I had any nerve whatsoever). I have no idea when I'm going to see my husband again.
I have loads of lovely moments to share from California, but for now, kids are finally in bed and I gave them cough medicine to knock them out. (OK, one of them really needed the cough medicine, and if you think that giving a healthy but thoroughly wound-up child a bit of nighttime cold medicine is not something that all parents resort to at a push, then you and I travel in very different circles). I need to sit down with a glass of wine and a cup of my new, proprietary blend rooibos and try to get back on central time. I have two weeks of Daily Show and Colbert waiting for me on the Roku, plus a fab book to return to on my Nook. Ta for now, darlings....
what I love about your post...I have 2 Christmas returns still too! I have no idea how to clone a human, but if we could figure out kidneys I am sure the rest will follow, and cold syrup for a kiddo to sleep...yes please!! Glad you made it safe!
xo,
R
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And she hits the ground running! :clap;
Glad you made it back. Take a deep breath and gooooooooo!
:cuddle;
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Holey moley --- your 'to do' list has ME exhausted !! Welcome back, cariad ....... hmmmm......cough syrup to get a good night's sleep .... perhaps I need to try that for those 'anxious' nights I have !! HA.
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Nothing wrong with a little cough syrup. I used to use Nyquil back in the day when I couldn't sleep. Welcome back :welcomesign; Now: GET TO WORK! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
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You guys are THE BEST. Thank you. Knocked a few to-do items off the list. My first class starts in a few hours, second one the prof said I could bring the kids if necessary. Uh, that is such a nice offer, but all I can picture is my five year old arguing with a load of Ph.D students because he is sure he is smarter than they are. House cleaning is progressing slowly, but it is progressing. Bills done. Shopping for basics done. Turning off the cough medicine tap, though. Last night Liot came downstairs at 10PM to ask for another dose, obviously because he was unable to fall asleep while his brother, who had taken some because he actually needs it, was out instantly. This morning I could not get Liot out of bed to save my life. He is also quite grouchy. If I did not have classes today I probably would have kept him home just because I know he needs more sleep.
Oh well, it's his teacher's problem now.... :rofl;
Thanks for all the delightful messages! Yes, Ma'am, CebuShan. Getting back to work now....
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Sounds like slowing things are getting back in order... :clap;
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OK, so I couldn't stay away for long.
I just received an answer to a request for babysitting services. I answered a Craigslist ad that sounded pretty good - all these discussions I've participated in about employment and who should and should not be around my children and here I find myself with a relevant story. The woman with the Craigslist post said she was a stay-at-home mom with availability any time. I need someone for tonight, but wasn't really expecting anyone to be available on such short notice. Well, I got a reply from the Craigslist woman. She is not available tonight but will be available subsequent weeks. I googled her name. Yeow. She falls wholly into the category of 'people who are not allowed around my children'. (If you are easily offended stop reading now. Just stop. Now. I'll wait....)
OK, she has a blog that she abandoned several years ago. At the time, she was 18 and spent her days, apparently, passing out literature at Victoria's Secret (lingerie shop if anyone is unaware) about the evils of the porn displayed in their window, and other similar protests. She does not like some televangelist (who does?) but because he is too tolerant, apparently, since she spewed some invective about his audience being filled with "lesbians, homosexuals, and other such people" (Uh, that's really only one 'such people' that you clearly cannot stand.) I only skimmed this utter crap, but I saw enough to know that she detests Barack Obama.
So she won't get the job. I know, I know. I heard a brilliant story on NPR maybe a year ago about an anti-semite who was hired by a Jewish auction manager to help him out for a weekend, and the Jewish businessman was warned that this guy was a skinhead and the man replied something like "I don't care what he is so long as he'll do the work." But these are my kids. And my (biased, of course) experience with people who are that zealous is that they cannot keep their mouths shut about it, and my kids will argue with her and it could turn ugly. I also think I would have to fight the urge to smack some early-20s woman who thinks she knows how every last person on earth should be living. Wait until life delivers a few kicks in the face and then tell me how sure you are of everything. Anyhow, I have a plan for tonight and will give myself a week to find a permanent person and then drop the class if I cannot find anyone. There is one other person on Craigslist, but she's only 17. She sounds great, but that may just be too young. (And the first woman sounded good on paper, but she will not be coming into contact with my kids. I'll just tell her thanks for your time, I've found someone else.)
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Well googled, cariad!
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I guess I'll never get to babysit for you: I'm not a fan of our President, either. As for the rest that you mentioned, I was a Nanny for many years. I took care of kids from families that didn't share my beliefs (and some that did) and never tried to push something on the kids that the parents didn't want. I just don't understand why someone would. My job was to love and care for the kids. As long as the parents weren't involved in child abuse or something else illegal, I was taught that it is okay to agree to disagree. Best of luck finding someone you can trust with your beautiful boys! Thank goodness for the internet nowadays! :clap;
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Well googled, cariad!
:rofl;
Thanks, galvo, my friend!
I guess I'll never get to babysit for you: I'm not a fan of our President, either. As for the rest that you mentioned, I was a Nanny for many years. I took care of kids from families that didn't share my beliefs (and some that did) and never tried to push something on the kids that the parents didn't want. I just don't understand why someone would. My job was to love and care for the kids. As long as the parents weren't involved in child abuse or something else illegal, I was taught that it is okay to agree to disagree. Best of luck finding someone you can trust with your beautiful boys! Thank goodness for the internet nowadays! :clap;
Uh, CebuShan, I think you've really misinterpreted what I was saying.
The woman is a bigot. The dislike of Barack Obama and trying to paint him as some sort of anti-American was really the least of the issues, to be honest. That alone would not have put anyone out of the running. It is her militant anti-gay stance that sickened me. If we were just talking about me working with someone, no problem, I would just ask them to keep their views to themselves (though in my experience that does not always work). However, it's my children, my house and my rules. If you don't want an 'employer' (if I can even call myself that) knowing this stuff about you and taking it into account, don't put it on the internet would be my suggestion to her. What if one of my kids is already struggling with their sexuality, and knows there is something 'different' about him? My kids have known little but chaos and trauma in their lives so far, so anywhere I can minimize the potential for that, I am grabbing onto the opportunity with both hands. As I said in another discussion, when it comes to my kids, she may be a perfectly lovely person, but I am rejecting her based on the information I have and what I fear she might do, not what I know she will do. All part of my grand plan to become a mom that causes people to whisper as I pass "Do not mess with her children, she will f***ing destroy you." :rofl;
Fact is, she really would not be a good fit for my family and better to learn this before wasting her time and possibly bringing her into a miserable situation. I come from a large family and can remember (rare) incidents where the kids ganged up on the babysitter, and in retrospect, I think that must have been the hardest money they've ever earned. If my five year old does not like you, the last place you would want to be is stuck minding him for three hours.... :laugh:
Anyhow, Gwyn stuck gold. Not the head teacher in Aidan's room at the children's center, but a close second: Her best friend has a public school teaching job and is available the entire semester. She could have even made it tonight, but I was too exhausted to prep the house. I cannot wait to meet her. :yahoo;
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OK, just realised after finishing watching the Jimmy Neutron film with the boys that I not only forgot to log off, I forgot to say the most important part: CebuShan, I am sure you would be a fabulous babysitter for anyone's kids, including mine, regardless of your political views, because, as you say, you were taught to keep them to yourself and live and let live, agree to disagree, and so on. That would actually be really valuable information to me, as both Gwyn and I have had our run-ins with co-workers and acquaintances who just won't give their particular cause a rest, and I won't have that shite in my home. If I could be assured that she wouldn't impose her views or judge my family's lifestyle, then maybe.... well, no, that's not true. Bigotry is where I draw the line. Anyway, it's a moot point for now, as we seem to have found the person who can take the job. :)
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I did understand that her political views were probably the least of your worries. I was being facetious! :rofl; Glad to hear you found someone! :clap;
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I did understand that her political views were probably the least of your worries. I was being facetious! :rofl; Glad to hear you found someone! :clap;
In that case: You cheeky monkey! :2thumbsup;
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It's official: temperature at 100.5 and it hurts to breathe. I fear bronchitis. :(
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Ugh! Noooooooo!
:Kit n Stik;
:cuddle;
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Does anyone know a quick way to differentiate between bronchitis and pneumonia? Some cutesy song or rhyme that could help me decide if this is serious or not?
I have a cough and fever at around 100. Breathing is a little painful. Tired and I have slight chills. A trip to the ER will cost me over $100 and I have no one to watch the boys. I've been in bed most of the day but I have felt worse, so don't think this is ER-appropriate. I can most likely see my GP Monday.
Anyone had pneumonia and would I feel worse if that were what it was? Thx!
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Perhaps this will help?
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/bronchitis-vs-pneumonia.html
I hope you feel better soon. I'm quite concerned about you.
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My husband has had pneumonia twice. Both times he had very sharp pains in his side when he would breathe, depending on which lung it was in. Don't know if that is a "normal" symptom or not. :cuddle; Hope it's not serious and you feel better soon!
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Perhaps this will help?
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/bronchitis-vs-pneumonia.html
I hope you feel better soon. I'm quite concerned about you.
That actually helped a great deal, MM. I am usually all about the google, so I feel like a silly muddley-head for not thinking to throw that question out to the internet. I did search them individually and they were so similar I gave up in confusion. Thanks for finding that site for me.
CebuShan, thanks so much for that info. Your description makes it quite clear that these symptoms lean more toward bronchitis. The pain I felt yesterday when breathing was around my sternum, so probably just irritation of the air passages, not an infected lung. Whew! Massive relief there. And quite literally within a few hours of posting my plea, I finally took an Ibuprofen and it worked. I was outside yesterday gone 8PM shoveling snow with the boys, and we have a huge drive, so it was an effort. Snow was light and powdery, but it was bitter out. I felt fine and we got all the snow cleared.
I have a cough and other mild cold symptoms, but the crushing fatigue seems to have gone. Yay!
Gwyn may be visiting next weekend! I cannot believe we've already been apart 3 weeks. I think you guys are such good company, maybe a little too good. I come here when I am feeling a bit lonely, and it almost always works. Thanks, everyone!
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I have had pnuemonia 6 times in my life so far, pre and post tx and non of the symptoms were the same with each diagnosis, except the trouble breathing. I have had the sharp pains, coughing and hurting spells, fever, chills (more than usual), a nose that would not unstop even for a few seconds, yada yada yada. I never had bronchitis so I do not know how that feels. I was incorrectly diagnosed with that when it was actually pneumonia..
So maybe those links will help, but maybe a visit to the ER is needed, but definately your GP/PCP.
Good Luck cariad.
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I don't have anything sensible to say about bronchitis or pneumonia. I just want you to feel worried about. :( Hope you don't have either bronchitis OR pneumonia, for I think they are both a bit serious actually. I've had them both, pneumonia sucked much much more. See? How i don't have anything sensible to say?
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I have had pnuemonia 6 times in my life so far
Good god!
I will try to see the GP tomorrow. One of the reasons I chose this doctor was that it takes forever to get in to see him for a first appointment, but once you are in, he reserves slots every day for his established patients. We have switched insurance yet again, and each time it seems the coverage gets a little worse. Can we just socialize medicine already? For god's sake, this system is so stupid. All the arguments we've had on this site about American medicine and I have not heard a single one that convinces me that healthcare should be anything but an inalienable right of all US residents.
But I digress.
Thanks for the info, Chris. My ears are plugged up and I have a drippy nose, but the occasional Ibuprofen seems to sort the low-grade fever out and also seems to help with the fatigue.
I don't have anything sensible to say about bronchitis or pneumonia. I just want you to feel worried about. :( Hope you don't have either bronchitis OR pneumonia, for I think they are both a bit serious actually. I've had them both, pneumonia sucked much much more. See? How i don't have anything sensible to say?
:rofl;
You are so humorous, my friend. Thank you for the laugh! In all seriousness, I actually got quite a bit out of your post, because I imagine from what you're saying that I would feel worse by several orders of magnitude if this were pneumonia. I will ring the GP first thing tomorrow. I need to chat vaccinations with him anyhow. I am uncharacteristically afraid of pneumonia. The first person I ever met on the streets as it were who had had a renal transplant was the 35-year-old father of a classmate of mine. When some kids in my class found out that I had had this surgery he walked up to me a few days later and shook my hand and was really excited to meet me. He died the following year of pneumonia and his kid did not take it too well. Last I heard his son was attending a religious boarding school for troubled boys. :(
I do also need to mention the breathtaking generosity of spirit of a certain member who PMed me last Friday when I was at my worst. Thank you once again for reaching out to me. I hope if you ever need anything that you will not hesitate to think of me, because I will gladly help in any way that I can. :cuddle;
The members on this site continually blow me away with their sincere care for each other. I don't think there's another group quite like it anywhere.
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I have to look at my records because I can't remember the last time I was vaccinated for pnuemonia or if I did, how long that one last. I need to see my doctor Monday to for catching something with symptoms I have never had before.
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Chris, it was my understanding that you only have one injection for pnuemonia that will last for ever and ever. Yes right.
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Chris, it was my understanding that you only have one injection for pnuemonia that will last for ever and ever. Yes right.
I looked at my records and have had pneumonia injections in 2004 and 2009, so maybe another on in 2013? I do not have any previous records of injections prior to going to my transplant hospital.
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Update, or is it?
Gwyn and I have decided to do what it takes to live together again. We had planned on one year in SoCal followed by a move overseas. I just knew that the days and days spent agonizing over this would come to exactly the result at which we have arrived: Gwyn met with his department supervisor after we made our decision and said he needed to be sure that he could have the three of us move out there and not find we are stuck with no relocation and the response was "I wouldn't do that if I were you." I am just so tired. Long, sad conversation with Gwyn last night until 3 AM. Another this afternoon. We cannot seem to catch a break nor come to agreement. I am going to start selling off our possessions in hopes of a quick move back to the UK. If we could go to Wales the boys will be OK - they understand more Welsh than 75% of the residents.
We are also looking at Oz but don't like our odds there. I may apply to school there if it would mean authority to work card for Gwyn. All this planning and it's all come crashing down before it's even begun.
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:grouphug;
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maybe you could marry me and we could adopt Gwyn??
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
oh, umm ok that wouldn't work - would it?
gee, yeah that's tough for you guys!!! *hugs* wish I knew what the best solution was for you both :(
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Aaaarrrggghhhh!!!!!
:cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;
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maybe you could marry me and we could adopt Gwyn??
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
oh, umm ok that wouldn't work - would it?
gee, yeah that's tough for you guys!!! *hugs* wish I knew what the best solution was for you both :(
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Well, as they say, nothing's off the table....
Gwyn is much more confident than I am that LA will still work for the next year. If the company can survive, then we'll be fine. I did mention, however, that every time I have taken the negative view in the past 5 years, I've been right.
Something will have to change by mid-August because my kids are stressed to the limit and I am not far behind.
Thanks for the support everyone!
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Since the boys are stressed (and so are YOU!) I would "stress" to them that everything will work out. It does in the end, doesn't it? Even if it may not be what we ultimately want...
I'm thinking of you. :cuddle;
You have a vast support system here. Don't forget to lean on us and ask for what you may need. :grouphug;
Aleta
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Oh, LimboLand is just hell. I can see why you all are so anxious, not knowing what's around the corner and not being able to plan anything. Kids need a certain amount of stability, it's true, but then again, they can be remarkably resilient. It would be nice to be able to tell them exactly what's going to happen, but we can't always do that as parents. I hope your situation gets sorted very soon and that you will be able to make some concrete decisions. :cuddle;
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:cuddle; thinking of you...
xoxo,
R
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:grouphug; Man that is stressful! So sorry, but still hoping it all works out for the best!
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Thanks everyone. I will try to implement your excellent advice, Aleta. We are going to try to rent our house out, maybe anyhow. Apparently, rental homes are in good demand around here.
Our daft festival friend keeps calling, so I left her a brief message. She finds us every summer, apologises profusely for not keeping in contact, invites us to every festival in town (that's a lot, we've been called The City of Festivals or something) and then drops out of our lives again. Of course she did not realise Gwyn had gone. There is a celtic band playing at one of the weekly jazz in the park locations but I told her that we honestly have too much to do to try to get out of this house. At least Aidan was able to play baseball last night with his ankle taped, though they lost. Did I mention Aidan injured his ankle severely? He was upset at the loss, which is not like him for baseball, so I think there is something else going on. Stress. I have no patience with the boys, getting angry over nothing then apologizing shortly thereafter. Oh, and Liot has broken out in some sort of heat rash or possibly a rash from a virus. It does not hurt nor itch, but it looks painful and scary - lacey, deep red, both cheeks look like he has a bad burn. S at the summer program is trying to help me with it, her daughter gets something similar periodically. S thinks it might be Fifth's Disease which I have to take a moment to research. Medical bills are another brutal part of life and I'm trying to avoid a pointless GP visit for him.
Off to have a cup of tea, a homemade scone and go through papers. Thanks for the well wishes and good thoughts.
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I was going to say Fifth's Disease even before I read the entire post. It is NOT serious at all. And not much you can do about it, either.
If he looks like you slapped him (now fess up, you didn't, did you?? LOL), that is probably what it is.
:cuddle;
Aleta
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Good to know it's not serious, Aleta, because having read up on the symptoms, it seems quite likely it is Fifth's Disease. Apparently, when the virus is active kids may have no symptoms or may experience a range of general symptoms such as a headache. I picked Liot up at school early 2 weeks ago because he said he had a headache. I thought he just wanted away from you-know-who. Maybe he did in fact have a headache, although it magically resolved when I asked if he wanted to go to his afterschool program. The redness has faded quite a bit from his face, so looks like I'll get away with slapping him after all! :laugh:
The executives at the company where Gwyn works are flying in for a meeting Friday. The consensus is that this is not going to be positive news. They have already let a large number of people go, saying their performance was an issue and that it is not due to finances. Oh, please. Been through this before! They never take any responsibility.
G did get a call that he is being put forward for a UK position, not in Wales, though. They have already looked at his cv and decided on a ballpark figure for salary. Not great, but probably competitive for Britain. It would be a high level position at a very stable company, not exactly what he wants to do with his time, but they won't always be dream jobs. I have every confidence that if they do decide to move forward with hiring for the position, it will go to Gwyn. Whether an offer will come in time to help us avoid financial ruin remains to be seen.
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G did get a call that he is being put forward for a UK position, not in Wales, though. They have already looked at his cv and decided on a ballpark figure for salary. Not great, but probably competitive for Britain. It would be a high level position at a very stable company, not exactly what he wants to do with his time, but they won't always be dream jobs. I have every confidence that if they do decide to move forward with hiring for the position, it will go to Gwyn. Whether an offer will come in time to help us avoid financial ruin remains to be seen.
Hope everything works out for you all ... *huggles*
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Should we start planning a trip to visit you in the UK?
Joking aside.... I hope everything resolves soon and advantageously! :cuddle;
Aleta
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:thx; :thx; :thx; :thx;
And Aleta, yes, please plan to visit us wherever we land!
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Wow! I can feel the stress level just reading this. You made my stress seem manageable. I am so sorry that it is one major thing after another. The worst part, is that you aren't in control of any of it. You can only sit and wait. And the boys will be stressed. My oldest son told me over the weekend that when we had Beth (Todd was 13) that he wasn't happy, his grades went down and he was never in a good mood. Then we moved him from St. Louis to N.C. and we thought we had ruined his life for ever. As soon as the family was together, he made new friends and got involved, things smoothed out for him. They feel our stress, our anger and I hate it for them.
And I am with you on the friends and doing things --- right now I want to hibernate and not do anything outside the house or ralk to anyone. Cliches don't help me right now. Cariad, I'm hoping something happens soon. Once you know what/where you will be, you can move ahead emotionally. Take care of yourself, hug the boys, and remember we all love you. {{{hugs}}}
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Hope things improve for you Cariad. I thought the same as Paris about the "stress" in reading this. Makes my situation look minor in comparison!
Will be thinking & praying things settle for you and the whole family! It is a tough situation you are in. The uncertainty can be hellish, Im sure.
God Bless,
lmunchkin :kickstart;
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Thanks for the support, paris and lmunchkin! I know you both have your own stresses weighing down upon you and appreciate that you still took the time to extend your best wishes to me.
Aidan tried out for select soccer league on Thursday with his sprained ankle. Although I told him multiple times to not push it, he told me after the fact "Well, I couldn't make any long passes because every time I tried to use the inside of my right foot, I wanted to scream [in pain]. It was good, though, because it forced me to use my left foot." This was frustrating because I thought they probably don't know he's not a lefty, and they might think that is the best he can play. I saw his performance and I would say it had its moments but was a bit tepid for him. So, we were told that offers would be extended as of 12:01 PM via email. On the way to his baseball game, since I had received no email, I told Aidan that it did not look like he placed initially but as kids decline their spots, he will probably be offered a spot, and they had not even decided on a third team roster because they wanted the top teams set up first. Well, at about 12:45 I got an email that he was offered a spot U11 White (B-team) and was first alternate for Blue. One of his best friends was extended the exact same offer, so we have no idea what it means.
Still, I would estimate that 60-80 kids tried out for this level and he got an offer even with his wonky ankle. I am delighted! He also received the same offer as his friend who is very, very good, so that is also encouraging. It makes our decision to leave town a bit more difficult, but we are trying to see if he can play with them until we leave.
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Gah! Not such a great start to the week.
Recruiter that was supposed to phone Gwyn this morning to discuss job in England has not rung yet and Gwyn has a meeting in half an hour and it is already gone 5PM in the UK. I woke up with my right eye very sore and swollen. Our insurance sucks, I'm not going to the GP. I have some Goldeneye from Britain as I don't think they sell an OTC product like that here, I've slathered it on, but this is probably viral and I've only wasted it. It is getting worse, I can barely open my eye. And no, I cannot refrain from driving or carrying on as normal. Only major appointment today is gymnastics for Liot but he does not get to do as much as his older brother and so long as I can see with one eye, he's going. Aidan has been told his coach wants him to pitch so I have to stay on high alert for a possible last minute practice. Aidan asks me every time he sees me if I've received any word from coach. Supposed to be 100 degrees here Thursday and it's been confirmed that they will not go on summer outings if it is that hot. That means Aidan misses canoeing and Liot misses a fantastic water park. Every year something goes wrong with these activities, and it always seems to be the best ones that they miss. One year there was such a bad storm that the summer program building flooded and they couldn't do their sleepover - that was a bad one to be forced to cancel. If memory serves, there were tears.
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Oh, Cariad!
I wish I could be there to help out! What next?!?!
Please give the boys my love. We are suffering from heat here, too, but at least we can just jump in the pool when we need to.
:grouphug;
Aleta
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Thanks so much, Aleta. Eye swelling is much improved - I don't look like a freakish zombie anymore. (don't think so anyway!)
Gwyn called me last night to discuss questions for the man who was to interview him this morning. He had asked the recruiter if he could just do a Skype interview rather than fly the brutal 11 hours from California to Britain, all while taking time off that he doesn't have to use. Recruiter said no, this is Britain, that isn't done here (oh, please, with your excuses!) and then the recruiter asked Gwyn if he would be willing to pay his own way to the interview. As I shouted down the phone Red flag! Red flag! Gwyn said absolutely not and she argued that if we were going to move to Britain anyway, we should cover the cost. Uh, moving to Britain is different from killing yourself to take a 2-day nightmare journey to meet up with prissy traditionalists. So, the questions that I thought up for the interviewer last night all began with "Where do you get off....?"
Gwyn had a long chat with the British manager this morning. They want someone today, and Gwyn would absolutely be enormously competent in the role. They are a stable, well-established company. Benefits are great, salary has yet to be discussed but is likely to fall 20% below what he makes now, but with NHS plus private insurance, plus we assume extra holiday, plus annual bonus of 10-30%, it would probably be a wash. Then he asked about work/life balance (my question!) and the interviewer explained that he feels things are too laid back there at the moment (Red flag!) and that he works 8-6 and would expect the same from Gwyn (say it with me.... Red Flag!!!!) Excuse me, but where is the "This is Britain" chorus now? Let me tell you something, Europe, if you start treating your working people the same as America treats theirs , better learn the term 'going postal' now.
Anyway, Gwyn has been asked to be available for a second phone interview, this time with the same person who spoke with him this morning and a technical employee who actually knows this aspect of engineering.
Rumor has it that Gwyn's current employer will be receiving a huge influx of cash this week. Oh, and Gwyn found a perfect little house for lease only a matter of minutes from where he works and right down the road from where we want the kids to go to school.
Round and round we go..... ??? :waiting; ??? :waiting; ???
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:stressed; :stressed; :stressed;
They don't do interviews by Skype for applicants in other countries? Seriously? Good grief. I can see wanting him to come in person for a final interview when the job offer is on the table, salary discussed, etc., but in the preliminary stage?
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So, the questions that I thought up for the interviewer last night all began with "Where do you get off....?"
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Excuse me, but where is the "This is Britain" chorus now?
:boxing;
That's the spirit.
I couldn't help chuckling while reading this and imagining you about to jump through the phone line.
Best wishes that it turns out exactly as you want it to!
Aleta
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I have to agree with Aleta - I had this great mental picture of you diving head first into the telephone receiver! I don't know how you're staying same with all the changes and stress in your life. hope the boys summer activities all proceed as scheduled. By the way, how is your eye?
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Gwyn had his second interview with two techies this morning. They said they were going to talk to the first guy who heads up the whole place, but essentially they've said "pack your bags, he's going to want to get you over here quickly". One of the interviewers this morning was director of engineering over there, and he wants to retire end of year. I asked Gwyn who was going to take his job and he said "me" and I asked why they were only referring to the position he's interviewing for as an 'engineering manager' and all Gwyn could say was "that' what they're calling it". I said "Well, they can call you an engineering director, too." Honestly, if he were to be offered Director of Engineering, then I would be OK with those hours that the first person mentioned, but for a manager in Britain? No.
I think the recruiter is an utter twit and that may be part of the problem. I suspect she lied to the executive to get him to even consider Gwyn, possibly telling him that we were already in the process of moving, and that is possibly why she asked if he would pay his own way. He said all through the conversation the two engineers were asking him how much he really wanted to move back to Britain, and he was noncommittal in his response. He just said "We're looking to leave this country." The recruiter kept asking Gwyn to email her and Gwyn kept phoning to say "you never gave me your email address" and it took 3 calls for it to sink in. Every conversation we have about her involves the phrase "sink in" as she seems to have slow absorption of information. She has told Gwyn every chance she gets to not discuss salary with them because that's her job and she's very good at it. I told Gwyn that if salary comes up he should discuss away! It saves time and I have to wonder what else she thinks she's good at? Communication? That would be alarming.
MaryJoe, my eye is completely recovered, thanks for asking. My skin is very dry all round it, though, so perhaps it was some sort of contact dermatitis.
Thanks for the well wishes, Aleta. We have been through so much crap with employment and so many job changes the past five years that it all sounds like code for "We *will* screw you over" to me.
Exactly, jbeany! They don't want to spend the money, but are not willing to find a creative solution? Isn't this technology supposed to make our lives easier and save us all time and money? On top of all of this, Gwyn's lease expires in a week. Landlord is willing to let him stay a few weeks, but it is not a long term solution. I don't know how he's going to get it all done himself. If we want to be mostly certain that the boys can go to the fantastic Spanish immersion school then we only have a very limited area where we can live and it has to be by end of August. Bah!
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:waving; Thanks for keeping us updated, Things seem to change daily, poor girl, it must be tough on you! BIG HUG!! :grouphug;
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Thanks, Karol! Yes, it feels like it's constantly changing to me, too.
G should be receiving a call from the recruiter any time now (hopefully she considers the time difference). They want Gwyn to go to England next week but the recruiter and executive are going to discuss salary and benefits first to make sure this is not a waste of everyone's time and expense. Finally, something that sounds reasonable!
I need help with this house! I am going to have to hit Craigslist and I have been considering phoning my parents. Part of me just wants to go and not tell them where. I have many, many questions for UK people, perhaps I will start a thread on that, they are mostly to do with school options for the boys. Do we have any UK members with school age children at the moment? Gwyn's brothers each have two kids, they are in their mid to late teens so we are hoping they can help. So, so much to consider. I'll return if we get any sense of direction from the recruiter.
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OK, I sort of want to start another thread on this, but I've started so many lately that I don't want to clog up this whole section with my uncertainty.
Just off the phone with Gwyn after a long chat. He's been told what he would be offered if he gets the job in England. This is all happening so terribly fast. Of course the Affordable Care Act has been upheld today! Wow, I was in hospital recuperating from my transplant when Barack Obama brought that adorable little boy in to witness him signing it. This is all weirdly emotional. We rejected an offer from an English company in 2009 because of the possibility of the clinical trial. Current offer is good and great benefits and even a bit of relo which Gwyn may ask them to increase. Recruiter is still a twit but I don't really have time to get into that right now. We have so many tough decisions to make and soon. No word on the cash that his current employer is supposed to be receiving, and will play a big role in our decision process.
More later. Head a bit overwhelmed right now.
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Options are good things - even if they get overwhelming when they are all available at the same time!
So speaks the voice of experience - who won the bid on a second house just as she was re-offered the first one she thought she had lost.
(We need an eyes-crossed smiley!)
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Options are good things - even if they get overwhelming when they are all available at the same time!
Absolutely true. I'd much rather be overwhelmed with options than the alternative.... which is fortunate because: Gwyn received an email from the first British company that was interested in him at the same time the California company was writing their offer. No details, just a "we would love to hear from you" note. Gwyn contacted them just a week or two ago and they had nothing. When I told Aidan's best friend's mother that we were probably going to the UK instead, she was a bit frustrated. She had been placating her son by telling him that they would visit us in California. Her husband is English, though, so it's not like visits there are out of the question, either.
I am crunching numbers for our house and checking on rentals in the UK. Wheeeee!
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I can't wait to see where you end up! I hope you have some answers and certainty by the end of the summer, if not sooner.
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I can't wait to see where you end up! I hope you have some answers and certainty by the end of the summer, if not sooner.
Thanks, MM. We are moving to wherever Gwyn is in mid-August, once the kids' summer program ends, if not a bit before. I am tired of living this way and will never do it again for any amount of money. Today is my anniversary and I miss my Gwyn. :(
Nothing else to report really....
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:cuddle;
Long distance relationships stink!
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I can't wait to see where you end up! I hope you have some answers and certainty by the end of the summer, if not sooner.
Thanks, MM. We are moving to wherever Gwyn is in mid-August, once the kids' summer program ends, if not a bit before. I am tired of living this way and will never do it again for any amount of money. Today is my anniversary and I miss my Gwyn. :(
Nothing else to report really....
Happy Anniversary! I am sorry that you guys have to live this way. You know that I am secretly hoping for California but I really want what is going to make you guys the happiest. You definitely deserve it.
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Very true, jbeany!
Thanks so much, Marc. So very sweet of you to say, and you and I and the boys will get together some time for camping/hiking/chatting, no matter where we live. :grouphug;
With regards the anniversary, I told the kids yesterday that their dad probably won't be able to visit for Aidan's birthday. It's so unfair, because he did fly in for Elliot's. Aidan took this very maturely, so the least I can do is provide a good example that we don't need to be hung up on specific dates and that just being able to live together again is going to be worth missing a few special days.
Elliot burst into tears after this conversation. He said "I just feel so sad for people who can't make friends easily because that's practically all you need in life." Oh my god, I could feel my heart being crushed. He was completely sobbing. This dates back to me stupidly telling him the story of some obscenely wealthy heiress (believe it was Doris Duke) who was told by her father that no one would ever care about her for anything but her money, and she believed him and apparently had few, if any, real friends. The story seems to be haunting my little guy and I regret ever saying it - he was too young for it.
Gwyn got answers to most of our questions: start date in England would be immediate, holiday is standard for Brits (yay!!!!), and a few other questions about benefits were answered favourably. Gwyn had a few drinks with his current company's treasurer Friday night and he said the company is due to get funds that will keep them afloat until the end of the year, then it's back to the scramble. All things being equal, I am fairly certain I would pick California for the friends, dual immersion school, and weather. (in that order) Unfortunately, CA cannot offer us any kind of stability, and I wonder if there will ever be stability in US Auto again. I feel weird about this decision. Where Gwyn is now, I have to say that they have treated him better than any other company operating in America. They have been very flexible with him, they have given him a good offer and loads of assistance. I just have to remind myself that they would not hesitate to sack him if it were in their best interests, and so we should not feel guilty for abandoning them. I need to start a "help me navigate life in England" thread, because that looks like where we are headed....
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It sounds like things are getting pretty well settled, then.
Another one of life's adventures. :2thumbsup;
Aleta
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Another one of life's adventures. :2thumbsup;
Yes! I am seeing it this way, too. My kids are going to have quite a childhood to look back upon.
Gwyn said he's been told it's a guarantee, that they just want him over there to look around and be certain he wants to work there. We had an argument about this last night because he wants to do the whole thing so quickly, plus drive himself everywhere, he is going to get himself killed.
But enough about that, I had such a fantastic time yesterday at the little league game. Aidan pitched! Aidan pitched!!!! I so wish Gwyn could have been there. It was Aidan's first time pitching, and the coach waited for them to have a sizable lead before sending him out in the last inning. His good friend C and his teammate H (a great kid) went out to the mound with him as he was warming up with L, the catcher. C and H were standing behind Aidan and you could see them assessing each pitch, saying "that's a good pitch, that's really good."
Aidan struck out his first batter. :yahoo; He walked another, who then stole second. Then Aidan's friend L from the other team, the one who hit him with a pitch over the weekend, was up. He popped right to Aidan, and it was a really slow rising ball, Aidan was casually watching it the entire time and I could tell by the look on Aidan's face that he had it, he knew he had it. After he caught it, I shouted "Aidan, you gorgeous thing!" and he looked at me with a tense curl to his lip. All the other parents were teasing me about how Aidan was now going to walk everyone as he would surely be pitching with his hat pulled over his face. Then he did walk two more, and I felt a bit bad. Then someone Aidan describes as a power-hitter was up. The bases were loaded, and Aidan and the catcher L had to aggressively walk the runner on third back to base a few times, the runner was trying to goad them into attempting to pickle him, but both Aidan and L are very intellectual players, they both have exceptional emotional control. So, 3 balls and two strikes later, the bases are loaded, full count, power hitter at the plate, rookie pitcher - it was every baseball cliche imaginable. Aidan pitched, and the batter struck out swinging! :yahoo; Cool little cat that he is, Aidan just made a tiny 'yes!' gesture with his fist, and the game was over. 11-4.
I have already found a youth baseball club in our area in England. I don't know what age group it's for, but I hope Aidan can play. I'd love for him to meet a few other ex-pat kids, especially at first, and I think baseball would be a good way to go about this. Plus he loves it.
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Oh, you are one proud mama! What a great kid's baseball story! I wish I had been there to see Aiden pitch. Who was most excited and nervous, you or him?
I love the idea of "help me navigate life in England" thread. Promise me you'll start one if that's where you end up. It would be fascinating!
Oh, I really hope everything works out well for you all. I know it will in the end. :cuddle;
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What a heart-warming story. Loved it!
I doubt there are many adults alive today who didn't have some kind of challenge while growing up. The thing is, we all just kind of accepted it as the way things were. I spent a great deal of time in the hospital having my ear worked on, and weekly visits to the ear doctor in between. And I couldn't go swimming AT ALL for the ten years from age 6 - 16.
Plus I nearly died from encephalitis when I was 10.
When I look back on it, it really doesn't seem "unusual" but I do wonder how my parents coped!!! It must have been hard on them. I remember that my mother was crying ALOT while I was afflicted with the encephalitis!
Other than that, life just WAS. I think that kids take their cues from the adults around them. So, DO look at this as another adventure that will broaden your boys' experience in a positive way. :2thumbsup; It will, indeed! And think how much easier life will be once you and Gwyn are back together and you aren't having to live as a single mom!
Aleta :cuddle;
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Help me navigate life in England?
Okay.
Start calling soccer football, invest in an umbrella and prepare your little cuties for the wearing of school uniforms. Eat fish & chips, buy a caravan and savour the fact that almost every programme on the tellybox is American. Oh, and start using that dreaded 'u'! Save your money for petrol (are you in for a shock ... *snigger*!) and enjoy less house for your poundage.
Where in England will you be headed, if England does happen? I don't mean specifically, but north, south, east, west or London?
;D
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MM and Aleta, thanks so much. So sweet of you two to share in my joy with me.
Oh, you are one proud mama! What a great kid's baseball story! I wish I had been there to see Aiden pitch. Who was most excited and nervous, you or him?
Most excited - definitely Aidan
Most nervous - definitely Mom
Aidan would rather die than go onstage but with anything athletic he has no fear. I hated it when his soccer coach used to put him in goal because that's the one position where errors by one person are magnified. I was by far the most high-strung parent with that team and boy would the other moms rip on me for it (in a nice way!)
Hey, if you can get up here for tomorrow evening or Saturday morning, you could join me in cheering for your very own Texas Rangers (they all play teams named after the MLB). Sadly, Saturday is their last game and you may just have to come back to England to see Aidan pitch in future!
Oh, Aleta, I know, now that I'm a parent I wonder how my parents got through it with me, and my brother. Encephalitis makes kidney failure seem rather miniscule in comparison. Or maybe that's just me and more proof that what we go through as kids seems normal to us.
I spent most of my time at the splash pad with the kids frantically texting back and forth with Gwyn. The first British company has already interviewed him. They are a contract house, they can match the salary, might offer more relo, benefits seem comparable. They would want him to start on a job further north, in the East Midlands. G has many questions for them like how much moving around people normally have to do with them. I don't want to move anymore. Last job they wanted him for was in East London. I don't want to be in a major city either, it's just too hard with kids, so they suggested we live in Essex. I told Gwyn there was just no way.
Oh, and guess who left his passport here? Same person who leaves for England Saturday.
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Help me navigate life in England?
Okay.
Start calling soccer football, invest in an umbrella and prepare your little cuties for the wearing of school uniforms. Eat fish & chips, buy a caravan and savour the fact that almost every programme on the tellybox is American. Oh, and start using that dreaded 'u'! Save your money for petrol (are you in for a shock ... *snigger*!) and enjoy less house for your poundage.
Where in England will you be headed, if England does happen? I don't mean specifically, but north, south, east, west or London?
;D
:rofl; :rofl;
This is an excellent start!
Boys sometimes call soccer football thanks to the Spanish language. I once got into a conversation with someone who wanted to know where the word 'soccer' comes from. I thought it was French. Years later I researched it and it turns out it is most definitely ENGLISH, possibly due to I believe it was the Oxford tradition of abbreviating words and then using -er at the end (brekkers for breakfast, that sort of thing), or there was some other theory that I think had to do with once calling football boots 'socks'.
Boys say 'tomato' and 'basil' the British way, in fact contrary little Liot once corrected a school friend's father, telling him it was 'to-mah-to' when the dad was reading something aloud. The dad thought it was hilarious, I said Darling, I think they're the same thing....
Only American television I care about is Colbert Report and Daily Show, and I've heard neither is available over there? This is when a good computer proxy comes in useful. I expect we'll just use a Roku as I am so pleased with ours.
Gwyn would be working in the West Mids. There are a few towns I like around there. I want to live walking distance to a train station so I won't have to drive as much. Even here, my 3 1/2 year old car only has 24,000 miles, easily several thousand of those due solely to Chicago. I walk everywhere I can and try to not leave the city on a regular basis.
Better save further comment for the new thread.
Oh, but a court order could not get me to say (or write) aluminum any differently. Gah, I'd just trained Gwyn out of that, too. Well, the move may be called off now....
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We had a magical July 4 yesterday, marred by a single, disturbing incident early in the day.
Took the boys to a splash pad and they were having fun. Then they had had enough and I was admiring this adorable baby there wearing only a diaper, a white top, and blue water shoes. As I'm watching this child the mother smacks the baby on the side of the leg. I was saying to the kids "Oh, you should never spank a baby. They don't learn from it! And it's awful!" Then the baby, who was walking around happily before then, starts crying. Aidan remarked how now the mother has to deal with a crying baby, and that this has not worked for either of them. I am aware how touchy criticizing other parents is, so I said "It's none of my business, let's just stop watching this." I turned around, saw Aidan flinch and make a noise of disgust, then stand there with his mouth gaping. He said "She just hit the baby in the face."
There were so many people there. I did not know what to do. When I told Gwyn about it he agreed that I should not have tried to intervene, he said in all seriousness "She would have hit you." Which, once I thought about it, if you'll hit a baby, you wouldn't think twice about assaulting an adult. And I have no idea what other friends or family were with her. Still, I feel guilty. Oh, and she was expecting another. :(
We went to a park that was nearly deserted, high on a hill near downtown, and had a panoramic view of the fireworks. Gwyn spent July 4 at a Dodger game on some all-you-can-eat deal, then they shot off fireworks there, so he got to see that as well. We texted each other pics from our various locations.
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So, Gwyn was not offered the job on the spot, but as he made his goodbyes today, the interviewers said things like "we hope to see you again soon". He said it went really well. Only a handful of concerns. First, they neglected to tell him that they do not know where he will spend the bulk of his time, at the headquarters, or at the plant an hour away. This changes where we should be looking to live. Second, he gets the standard five weeks, but they make everyone use two of those weeks in early August for a shut-down, and then usually one of those weeks must be reserved for Christmas-New Year. So really, we only get the standard two weeks to use as we please. I am a bit disappointed by this, was already planning to spend January in Spain or similar, but I guess that's not an option now. Although, we can now take short holidays to Europe at a moment's notice. I'd love to use the two weeks to take the kids to Africa. We've been promising that we'd go back, and that trip will be a bit less brutal now. There was another minor issue with one of his benefits, but Gwyn says he is not concerned.
He would be Director of Engineering. If I had known that, I would have held out for higher salary, but if/when he is offered this job, we won't exactly be able to complain.
It's a very good offer, and if we can just survive the next 6 weeks, all will begin to smooth out. :)
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Jeeez. I'm sorry ur kids had to witness the baby slapping
Sounds like good news hopefully it all works out!
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Thanks, GLM! Liot was talking about it just last night. I asked him to please stop mentioning it. :(
I am normally a pessimist by nature, but I think this job offer is going to happen! :yahoo;
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In Oz the woman would have been charged with assault.
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In Oz the woman would have been charged with assault.
That sounds fair to me!
Last week I received more proof of why I just cannot go on living like this. I suddenly found myself starring in a kind of horror film.
Aidan had been invited to his friend's house for a late night watching the All-Star game. These friends were going to drop Aidan off around 9:45, so I left the front light on and the front door unlocked just in case I was busy and did not hear the bell.
I was on my computer around 9:40 when I hear the doorbell sounding over and over, like a child playing. Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong.
It was loud and I was annoyed because little Elliot had just gone to sleep. I almost shouted "It's open, Aidan" but decided I should really at least thank the parents face to face, so called out 'Aidan' in a bit of a scolding tone and went down to answer the door. I see a man standing way out on the pavement in front of my house. I call out "Hello?!" and he blurts out a semi-intelligible story about There was this guy .... a drunk .... he's a drunken bum .... black shorts.... I caught him behind my house.... I chased him out of there, and he ran back here, either here or the next one.
Me: What?! Him: He's hiding behind your house. I called the police, I don't know where they are.
My head was spinning. My first thought was Oh my God, Aidan is due back any second! What if they inadvertently block the trespasser's only exit with the car and he becomes violent?
I thank the neighbour and immediately run up to the first floor to grab my panic button. I then have this thing clutched in my fist for the rest of the evening as I'm running around trying to think of what to do next. I run to the back door and make sure it is locked, find my keys to lock my car that is sitting in back, turn off lights in an attempt to see if I can see him back there. As I'm on the ground floor I can see the neighbour still out there saying This is an Italian neighbourhood! Fifty years ago we would have killed guys like you.
Then I begin to wonder if the neighbour is just a paranoid racist. Even though I had all the lights out on the ground floor, he looks in my window and says "He's back there."
I immediately decided TO HELL WITH THIS and grabbed my landline and called the police. For the second time in my life, I am so glad I am not famous and that 911 call will never be released to the public. I was so confused, not sure what I was scared about or if I should be scared, but all I could think was that I wanted someone here to help me deal with this and Gwyn is in California. I almost started crying down the phone to the dispatcher. He was really nice and said he would send someone right away. Then I thought Must stop Aidan from coming home now. So I grabbed the mobile - I hate mine, I can never find what I need quickly - am desperately pressing buttons and swearing and hitting cancel and starting over. I called the friend's dad - no answer. I called the mother and before she can say much I say "Is Aidan on his way yet?" She must have said no but I couldn't really comprehend much, so I just poured out the story and she said "They're still here. I won't let them leave." Then she texts me to say that she feels so bad for me and wants to help. (Ah, so sweet!)
Cops arrive, I text the mom to tell her this. The cops cannot understand what I am saying - I think I'm being clear, but it's all so confusing. They go back behind the house and return to say there is no one there. I ask if the neighbour is just crazy but they don't really answer. Then a second squad car pulls up and the male officer goes over to talk to them. They tell me that the person in question was a local homeless man and that this neighbour beat him up. Oh! How awful! I don't know what to say and just want to go to bed so I ask if they need anything further from me and they so no, but they seem to be expecting something from me. They were staring at me in what seemed to be disbelief as I walked up to the house. So strange. It was all so odd. Aidan came home, the dad said to call them anytime if I needed to talk. I have never been so relieved to hear that inexplicably British voice on our alarm system announce "Doors and windows on."
The next morning we're coming down the drive and I see something hidden behind the branches of a little tree that needs to be trimmed. I exclaim "Oh! That guy!" It is a little pack of some sort. I ask Aidan to get out and tell him to kick it onto the patch of public property grass in front of the house. I don't want him touching it because it's probably dirty, but I want the guy to be able to find it if he walks by. Aidan does this. I return home after dropping them off and it is still there. Later I walk to the post office and when I return it is gone.
No word from England yet. But this is why no matter what, we are going to be living with Gwyn before the summer is out.
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Awful. When my husband used to travel for business I would sometimes have to call the police - once a guy was trying to get in - thought he was at his girlfriends house. Took the screen off and tried to open a window on the front of the house. He was escorted away but that kept me up all night!!
I hope your little family is reunited soon. :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Awful. When my husband used to travel for business I would sometimes have to call the police - once a guy was trying to get in - thought he was at his girlfriends house. Took the screen off and tried to open a window on the front of the house. He was escorted away but that kept me up all night!!
I hope your little family is reunited soon. :grouphug; :grouphug;
Thanks, Karol! I am not sure how these things always seem to happen at the worst time. I really like having an alarm system connected to the police, though, and hope to find something similar in the UK.
Speaking of, this thread has been going on for nearly a year, and I am just so thankful and humbled by the overwhelming and immediate outpouring of support I received here from the moment I announced that Gwyn had lost his job. This has been a challenging (not always in a bad way) year for me and my family, and 5 years ago I never would have believed that an internet site would be the most effective support system in my life. But it's true. I feel I was able to rise to this challenge in large part because I truly felt that there were dozens at IHD standing behind me and cheering me on. Thank you all, one million times and more.
The job offer is not signed nor sealed yet, but it has been delivered to Gwyn. We are England bound.
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:waving;
Watch the road!
(My family's shorthand for Be careful, Drive safely, Come back soon, I'll miss you, and - because we aren't given to saying it out loud - I love you. It's what my grandmother used to say to us when she sent us across the road to the mail box to get the mail for her.)
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That sounds horrifying!
If it makes you feel better, about having to call 911, i once called, thinking someone was IN my basement of my home... And at the time my ex bf was causing me a lot of trouble, being violent and threatening me, so I couldnt be sure. I even TRIED opening the basement door and saying Hey, are you down there?? I waited... and heard What I THOUGHT was someone sitting on the bed i had down there.......... so I said THIS ISNT FUNNY i ran outside with phone in hand, called the police, they came in. They too heard somethig, so with hands on their weapons they open the door to my basement... suddenly a loud noise ifpsdpsdogpkskgpsdgods out shoots a freakin bird...................... yes. a bird. in my basement.
scared the crap out of me and the cops though!
Hopefully you get to find somewhere good to be soon!
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Thanks, jbeany! That expression is adorable. I recently read Cocktail Hour Under the Tree of Forgetfulness by an author who grew up all over Africa and her mother had a toast that I think I will steal for our use: To us! There's none like us, and if there is, they're all dead! It suits us somehow.
Oh, GLM, poor thing. My late uncle tells a great story of the time he had to phone the police about a prowler and the cop drew a gun and nearly shot Al. Al is his freakishly lifelike sculpture of a handyman. Would have been a memorable case for the insurance claims adjustor! I was sorting through old pics this afternoon and came across a fantastic snap of Al, Gwyn and Aidan. I'll have to post it when I get the chance.
Gwyn gave notice and they've asked him to consider a promotion and over 20% pay rise. If only this company were stable. :(
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My son's best friend left the state this morning. I somehow inadvertently managed to put together a dream night to send the little guy off cross country.
My auntie has owned a share of season tickets to the Brewers for years and gave my family 4 tickets to yesterday's game because she knew my parents would be in town and Aidan lives and breathes sports.
So, I know little Liot does not care all that much about baseball. As an early birthday present to Aidan I suggested Liot let Aidan invite a friend in his stead. Aidan invited C because we had been told that little J would be leaving Friday. Thursday I hear that J will be at the summer program Friday because "the movers need more time". Having no idea what that meant, I mentioned it to my parents who were going to accompany C and Aidan to the game. My father offered that if J could come along, he would take the 3 boys on is own. So, I emailed J's mother saying I so hate to even mention this because I don't want you to feel obligated to stay just for this, but here is the offer. She called me and started with "please be honest..." and asked if J could spend the night here. It really made perfect sense - they were going to be at a hotel and her son would not be back from the Brewer game until 11PM. So I arranged to have both boys spend the night, but first they got to watch the Brewers play the Nationals from the second row behind the visitor dugout.
My son can talk some serious trash, and he apparently shouted to one man on the Nationals "Hey [whatever his surname is] strike out for me like you did last inning, 'kay?" It was dismissed as coincidence, but let's examine the evidence: Brewers play the Nationals without my son there, Brewers are crushed 8-2. Brewers play the Nationals with my son wearing the opposing team down with incessant chatter: Brewers shut them down, 6 to ZERO. Aidan is fairly certain they could hear him. After the game, C shouted out to his hero Corey Hart who was across the diamond near his own dugout, and apparently Corey Hart turned to their section and gave them the peace sign which made little C deliriously happy.
The boys came home and were talking a mile a minute at me. Even little J who I thought did not really like me wanted to show me his baseball cards, which was so cute. Then even though I had arranged for them to get sole use of the bedroom with two comfortable beds, they begged to stay in the playroom. Everyone loves the playroom. In the morning C's mother dropped by to take them to the park and say goodbye to J's family. There were so many tears this morning, it was really more than I could stand. J's mother grabbed the three boys and said that if you had friends you had everything, and all four of them were crying. C's mother and I were tearing up as well. Then we get to go through this all again on August 21.
I have not told the boys that Gwyn will be home this Saturday. Aidan still thinks Gwyn will miss his birthday. I have ordered a cake from Whole Foods, but I think I am going to call to change the order so that it can feed all the kids in Aidan's summer program room. Right now it is to be a cake shaped like a soccer ball. I want it to sit atop a sheet cake decorated to look like a field with a Welsh flag lying across the field. I don't know if they can manage it, though. I should post a pic of Liot's cake - it was barely a step above cake wrecks, but there is no arguing with the taste. Everyone says that Whole Foods cakes are the best birthday cake they've ever had.
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I went to an Astros vs Brewers game at Miller Park several years ago, and Miller Park is absolutely beautiful! I'm so glad the boys had a good time but am sad that it was all such a bittersweet occasion.
I can't wait to hear about Aidan's birthday! I'm thrilled that his dad will be in attendance after all. That's terrific! It will be a special, special day.
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Thanks, MM, birthday girl!
Oh, it is a stunning park. It was pouring that afternoon and my father kept talking about the game being rained out and finally it occurred to me to say "Wait, there's a roof...." I didn't think games were rained out any more because I just assumed that if Milwaukee's ballpark had a roof, then every other city must have a roof as well. Guess not! Rain cancellations just seem so antiquated to me. Forgot to ask my father if the roof was shut or not but he was floored by this news, and he usually does his best to never show any surprise for any reason.
Behold the cake. I speak the truth, do I not? I am 95% certain that those are supposed to be sea lions, but where they got the nerve to charge me a $15 art fee with a straight face I'll never know!
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Love the story and photos of boys at the baseball game.
Sorry but had to laugh at the cake :rofl; :rofl;
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Here are the latest cake pics. The Welsh Flag cake was visually stunning but the flavours were not what I had ordered. Soccer ball cake was layer upon layer of chocolate madness.
Gwyn is home. Wish I could post video on here because the boys did not know that he was arriving, I had told them that he would be here next Wednesday. Saturday was right before Aidan's birthday and I told him that I had to rush out to buy him a present and could he and Liot stay behind and just watch some television or something. Then I told him I had to bring the gift up past them, could he and Liot close their eyes. (Elliot is one of those that doesn't want to know things if he's not allowed to talk about them - he knows his secret-keeping limitations! :rofl;) Then I went into the playroom with video camera on and Gwyn stood next to me. I told them they could open their eyes and Aidan turned round first and let out a startled yelp. Liot had not yet opened his eyes, so Aidan cried out "Elliot! It's Dad!"
Gwyn and I usually make a shirt for the boys to wear on their birthdays to announce to everyone that this is a momentous occasion. We threw a load of ideas around and finally settled on the one Aidan is wearing in the pic. Gwyn gets credit for the perfect execution of it. He stayed up until 1AM toiling away. There is a big 10 on the shirt, too, placed off to one side just like the baseball jersey. On the back it has Aidan's stats as if it were the back of a baseball card.
We are spending our time trying to tie up loose ends. Liot sees his best friend from public school next weekend. This boy's family is taking him to the Wisconsin Dells with them. Aidan had his final beach soccer session last Tuesday and Liot played with his friend M for several hours in Lake Michigan. The coach brought beers for the adults and so Gwyn and I sat on towels in the sand, drinking and talking to friends and acquaintances.
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:clap; :clap; :clap;
Love the shirt idea! And it looks like everyone had a fabulous time, too!
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Mmmm, cake ... ;D
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:waving; America!
Flight's delayed so very nearly drunk at the airport lounge. 2 nights booked at a hotel, and then? No plan, just enjoying the adventure of the freefall.
Iechyd da, lovelies!
;musicalnote; We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know wheeeennnnnnn.... ;musicalnote;
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Not so fast! IHD works in the UK, ya know!
:cuddle;
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Not so fast! IHD works in the UK, ya know!
:cuddle;
yes well the whole thing crapped out for me last night(my time) due to some kind of DNS resolution issue - and right when I was in the middle of a post(luckily I saved it :) )
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:bestwishes; to all of your family cariad. So very glad that I had to chance to meet you and Gwyn last year in Vegas. :bestwishes;
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Have a lovely, lovely time!
And expect a visit from your Tennessee friends! :2thumbsup;
Aleta
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Hope you'll keep us updated. Was wondering about your follow up with your transplant team, as yous was a unique transplant. Will they want to see at some interval or just get lab results sent to them?
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Hope you'll keep us updated. Was wondering about your follow up with your transplant team, as yous was a unique transplant. Will they want to see at some interval or just get lab results sent to them?
I was wondering about that too.
:welcomesign; cariad! (I'm assuming you're over here now, anyway!)
;D
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:waving; :waving; :waving; :waving;
WAKE UP, AMERICA!!!! ;D
We arrived and I am teetering on the brink of an anxiety attack. Wrong visa so I have to go back to the US within 6 months to sort that out which is not helping. Gwyn has asked his workplace for someone to talk us through this. Where are we going to live, what schools will the kids go to, do I have to get their passports first, can I get full access to NHS on this silly visitor's visa? Then there are the thousand little Milwaukee issues we have. Karol, I've been so bad. I have not had my SOC labs in almost 3 months. They are fit to be tied at Northwestern but I planned this all wrong obviously and we were off Gwyn's insurance before I thought to get them done. If the NHS will do it for me, I will have them done Tuesday (I think Monday is some sort of bank holiday because Gwyn does not start until after.)
Need to be out of this hotel in a few mintues, so will be back to have a good cry when I get the opportunity. We are off to a self-catering cottage in the country for a week - no idea if there will be wifi or anything, but I'll pop in if there is.
Ta! :-*
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:welcomesign;
And use the cottage to catch your breath
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I think Monday is some sort of bank holiday because Gwyn does not start until after.
Indeed, and it's raining. It always does on August Bank Holiday weekend!
;D
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Made it to the cottage. I thnk tomorrow we will officially be on British time from here forward.
England's become really Americanized. Excuse me, some of us are trying to leave that mess behind, would appreciate your cooperation. Please go back to calling french fries 'chips' for a start.
I will go mad if I don't find a decent ceylon mango or similar for my iced tea, though. I asked at a Costa if they could do iced tea and they proudly stated that indeed they could. Then they went reaching for the syrups and I brought the whole thing to a halt. We found peanut butter and jelly fairly easily for the boys at least. We forgot about the stupidity that is the new credit card system, though. Last trip (almost 2 years ago, so I guess it's not all that new) we ran into this issue but it was OK because we did not need to use cards much. Now because we don't have that chip in our credit cards no place can accept it. We had to ask them to take the beer out of our shopping at the Aldi because there was no cashpoint and our cards would not work. The silly thing is, it keeps happening and we keep forgetting and blindly handing them our cards.
Still have little idea which town we're going to live in.