depression and drinking

[pelagia]

I sent a PM last week, but haven't had a response.  I just sent another one.   

[okarol]

I have contact info but she had stipulated not to call until 2 months went by with no word, so for now that's where we are. 

[rose1999]

Anna I hope you read these messages and know how much we all care about you. Stay safe 

[RichardMEL]

Well karol at least you have a way to contact her and of course we must respect her wishes... it's hard when you know someone's going through a tough time and you just want to know she's doing ok.

I hope she manages to make it back here before that 2 months is up....

[paris]

It is hard not to worry when we know she is dealing with so much.     Love you, Anna

[Deanne]

Two months suddenly seems like a very long time. It's only been two weeks. Anna, we're thinking about you!

[twirl]

I wish anna would post
she posted a picture of her family singing on my family
they look happy
I think the photo is current
days before the break up
please post anna
we miss you

[annabanana]

I'm online (at a friend's house) for the first time in quite a while. When I read all these posts I cried. Thank you all for caring so much and sending love. You are all so beautiful. Thank you all for the pm's.

Randy and I are getting divorced. He's not doing well with his drinking so it's best I'm not there. We talk sometimes and it's okay mostly. He's not sharing any info with me about his doctors appts or how he's feeling. A friend who is a hospice worker told me that sometimes when people reach the end of their life they choose a different caregiver or none at all. So I respect Randy's decision. I'm okay with it. It's just difficult to not do anything to help him.

I'm really taking care of myself these days. I didn't realize how I'd sort of given that up...even though a lot of people (esp. here) told me to. Now I'm focussed on my own health and it's great. I see friends a lot, too. Everyone is happy that I'm gone from the situation with Randy. I'm looking for work where I live now so it won't be too much longer before I have internet access and can check in more often. I wish I had time like I used to --- I know I'll have a LOT of catching up to do when I have more time. I miss all of you so much and think about you all the time.

RichardMEL, regarding your sexy accent --- one of my best friends is from New South Wales and she says her accent gets her in many doors!

A lot of love and many hugs to everyone.
Anna

[annabanana]

I'll try to post again on Monday. 

[xtrememoosetrax]

It's so nice to hear from you, Anna, and to know that you're making the best of a bad situation. Please continue to take good care of yourself, and know that we are all thinking about you and wishing you the best. Hope to see you back here soon!

[twirl]

  hello Anna
hope you find employment soon
and miss you
keep
love
twirl

[monrein]

Thanks for posting and keeping us in the loop Anna.  I'm sure this is a really hard time for you but you sound as if you have a good attitude about things and that will be your best ally.  Also terrific that you're now taking care of Anna herself.  We miss you here and look forward to when you're back on line more regularly.

[flip]

Great to see you back, Anna. If I can do anything to help, let me know. I'm not that far away and I do have a few business contacts in Nashville who might be able to help with the job situation.

[Sunny]

Anna,
You have done the right thing. Now you can take care of yourself and move on with life.
Things will get better and better for you now that you've committed to making change.

[willieandwinnie]

Anna, just for you. 

[pelagia]

It is really good to hear from you Anna.  You are in our thoughts every day.   

[rose1999]

Hi Anna, good to hear from you - as youcan tell we have been worried. I am sorry about the way things have worked out but pleased that you are felling better and looking after yourself.  You have done all you can for Randy, I know you'll never stop caring but now it's time to start living your life. God bless both of you in your own separate lives. 

[paris]

Dear Anna, how wonderful to read your post.  You have been greatly missed!  I am glad you are surrounded by family and friends and that you are taking care of yourself.   Let us know how the job situation works out.   Post when you can.  We love you!

[RichardMEL]

Anna,

So wonderful to hear from you and see that you are doing well in the midst of trying circumstances. It is sad that you are divorcing Randy but in a way it is probably the best for you. It seems that he has chosen a path to take and it's not one that includes you... and it seems the way he is going it may not be too pretty for him - but that is HIS choice.

I absolutely support you looking after you. You have been through so very much emotionally, physically, mentally and now I think you need time for YOU....

lots of hugs and love and look forward to hearing more from you when you are more settled, in a new place & job etc.

it must be a tough time for you. *lots of hugs*  :cuddle:

[lola]

Anna,
Miss you

[annabanana]

thanks, everyone! I'm at a friend's house today until I pick my son up at school. It's good to have access to a computer for a while. I can catch up a little with everything happening with all of you.

Randy and I are able to talk on the phone now. We have trouble seeing each other but that's normal, I think. I asked him about his doctor appts. he had scheduled last week and he said he rescheduled them. I'm not sure if he'll even go anymore, which is not surprising.

He told me he didn't have long to live and so he was going to be really selfish for the rest of his life...which I totally understand...but it does not include me because I hurt so much about his decision to drink. I understand how it would be very difficult to live with someone that you know deep down is hurting over things you do, no matter how much they respect you, you still know how they feel.

I strongly feel that it's the right thing for us to divorce. But I'm glad we can talk without anger. And I have finally stopped taking responsibility for all this...in realizing fully what RichardMEL says: that it's HIS CHOICE.

I got to spend the weekend at a friend's cabin. It was like a retreat. It was very beautiful and perfect company, so I feel really good. We built a beautiful birdhouse and jumped in the river to cool off and ate really well. Now that's taking care of myself!

Twirl, I LOVE the new cheerleader icon! That's got to be your special icon!

Flip, thank you so much for letting me know you have Nashville contacts. I will pm you.

     
 

[okarol]

  Love you anna!

[monrein]

  Hi Anna.  Thanks for the update and glad to hear you're doing OK.  Miss you and think about you often.

[RichardMEL]

Sweet Anna I cried reading your post. I am not even quite sure why. I think maybe because I am trying to imagine how you must feel through all this - specially the thought that Randy is basically ending his life. On his terms perhaps, but still.... Just reading it and thinking about it *I* feel helpless somehow.. And I know that is ridiculous, but there you have it.

However, as I wrote weeks ago it is his choice... as heartbreaking as it is. I guess at least he recognises this since he's decided to be "selfish" now.

Still your time away and jumping in the river and stuff sounds really nice.... and at least you can talk to him...

I wonder, perhaps, and I hesitate to bring this up, but I have a feeling... as hard as it may be.. you may want to try and see him in person at least once more. How do I put this.... to settle things? Say anything you might want to say and not leave unsaid once it's too late?

I can't imagine how difficult that sort of thing might be to contemplate, but it might be something you might want to consider for the future.

We are all here for you Anna and care about you hraps   

[pelagia]

 

Anna, it is so good to have you back posting.

RichardMel's suggestion about closure is a good one, but it may be very difficult to do that in person.  You could also consider writing your thoughts in a letter that you can mull over for a bit and then give to Randy.

love and hugs, Linda