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Author Topic: depression and drinking  (Read 50546 times)
paris
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« Reply #175 on: September 02, 2008, 10:56:57 AM »

We love you, Anna!   :grouphug;  You have a loving fan club here!
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
RichardMEL
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« Reply #176 on: September 03, 2008, 02:47:17 AM »

ooooh a road trip with the lovely Anna to visit Paris' daughters.... omg my blood pressure is rising.... umm... nurse... hello??? I think I've got a small problem here... pant... pant.... CODE BLUE!! CODE BLUE TO DIALYSIS STAT!!!!

 >:D :oops;
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
annabanana
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« Reply #177 on: September 03, 2008, 11:54:27 AM »

Richard...you are one very silly man!  :rofl;
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caregiver to Randy:
HepC and stage 4 ckd
1 kidney removed (cancer)Aug07
paris
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« Reply #178 on: September 03, 2008, 11:56:46 AM »

RichardMel, you brighten my day!   I think we need to clone you.  We need more men on this earth that are exactly like you :cuddle;
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
RichardMEL
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« Reply #179 on: September 03, 2008, 06:22:42 PM »

RichardMel, you brighten my day!   I think we need to clone you.  We need more men on this earth that are exactly like you :cuddle;

You just want one of me for each daughter... and a spare... right?

Gawd the concept is scary on so many levels.....

you know I think we need a different thread for this silliness... it's detracting from the main point of this thread.. which is Anna (& Randy)....

(I am glad to brighten people's days though.. that is pleasing :) )
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
paris
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« Reply #180 on: September 03, 2008, 07:42:31 PM »

The point is that you, RichardMel, are a marvelous source of support and comfort.   Anna knows she can come here and find comfort, wisdom and love.   You are one good example of why this is the best site on the internet.   

Anna, we are keeping you in our prayers.  May each day be just a little easier than the last.   :grouphug;
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
annabanana
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« Reply #181 on: September 04, 2008, 08:50:40 AM »

The point is that you, RichardMel, are a marvelous source of support and comfort.   Anna knows she can come here and find comfort, wisdom and love.   You are one good example of why this is the best site on the internet.   

Anna, we are keeping you in our prayers.  May each day be just a little easier than the last.   :grouphug;

Thank you for prayers, Paris. Today is a bit easier than yesterday but we're still on the rollercoaster. Randy and I have started talking again. I try to keep it calm but when he is drunk he wants to be argumentative. He tries at the beginning of each conversation to be nice but it typically goes downhill pretty fast. So sad. He's frustrated and upset in general. I guess we'll go through this for a while. At least I have said all the important things already.

I think it's a beautiful and appropriate thing that this thread has become what it is regarding RichardMEL. I truly DO find comfort, wisdom and love, esp. from RichardMEL. And to have this thread be a place to brag on him is so very good!

Regarding Richard's clones...one for each daughter and a spare...but I get the original, >:D right?
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caregiver to Randy:
HepC and stage 4 ckd
1 kidney removed (cancer)Aug07
paris
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« Reply #182 on: September 04, 2008, 01:53:15 PM »

Yes, Anna, you get the original because if anyone deserves a guy like our dear Richard, it is you! :cuddle; 
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
flip
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« Reply #183 on: September 04, 2008, 03:04:12 PM »

Looks like Richard has become the "Don Juan of Dialysis". I wish I had his charm. :guitar:
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That which does not kill me only makes me stronger - Neitzsche
monrein
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Might as well smile

« Reply #184 on: September 04, 2008, 03:40:57 PM »

Hey Flip, why wish for RM's charm (of which, BTW, I'm a huge fan) when you have the market cornered on your own brand of quirky, funny charisma???  You're great, as is.   :flower;
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
RichardMEL
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« Reply #185 on: September 04, 2008, 08:36:48 PM »

Flip you've got it in spades... mine is just virtual since the locals don't seem to want a bar of the real thing. Who knew I was "New Coke" ???

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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
flip
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« Reply #186 on: September 04, 2008, 08:47:00 PM »

You've got the sexy accent that women love. I talk like Larry the cable guy and act like him too. Life on IHD would be dull without you, RichardMEL.
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That which does not kill me only makes me stronger - Neitzsche
RichardMEL
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« Reply #187 on: September 04, 2008, 08:51:42 PM »

Nobody here knows if my accent is sexy or not... well Lucinda does, but she's a "local" so I doubt my voice is of interest or at all unique to her! hehe

ANYWAY!! ENOUGH ABOUT ME!!!

This thread has gone so waaaay off topic I am starting to get embarassed....

please... this is about depression & drinking (and in particular Anna & Randy)... can we try and get back on topic (or I will get depressed and start to drink!!!)

 :boxing;
 ;D
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
paris
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« Reply #188 on: September 04, 2008, 10:40:14 PM »

Richard, I can be depressed and drink if it helps keep us on the right topic  :rofl;

Anna, I hope you know we all love you and maybe our silliness can make you smile a little.  We do know it isn't a funny subject and we would never to anything to be disrespectful to  your situation.   We are here for you all the time :cuddle; :grouphug;

Flip, you don't need the accent.  You are one of the most intelligent men I have ever met.  I am amazed at how much you know about everything.  Women think brains are sexy - ask Donna. I bet she agrees!
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
lola
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I can fly!!!

« Reply #189 on: September 05, 2008, 08:37:59 AM »

Anna just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you  :grouphug; Glad things are going well with your son also. Trying to deal with someone with a drinking problem is so hard because of the highs and lows, just know you have done everything to try to help Randy and that this is now his choice regardless of how crazy it is. Being the care giver can be so hard at times since sometimes they choose things we don't agree with, although Otto better make the correct choices or :Kit n Stik; and then off to Richard I go :-* Hang in there :grouphug;
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RichardMEL
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« Reply #190 on: September 05, 2008, 09:20:56 AM »

Anna I just wanted to hark back to your comment about your latest call(s) with Randy - that he's nice at first then it degenerates. That is a sad facet of the booze I guess. I guess in a way it would relax him enough to feel comfortable to try and talk to you nicely, but then it sets in and provokes more negative feelings (unfortunately). That would be difficult to handle - but as you say you've said what you have wanted to say already. Unfortunately I don't think trying to explain that behaviour to him will do any good and just cause some (more) resentment. I guess though you are working out how to handle those situations. Try to not let it affect you too much.

I'm also sorry your son has been affected by what's happened. I remember when my parents divorced over 20 years ago. I was 13-14 and I realised how it was and that it actually was a good thing... I think you mentioned somewhere your son was 11 or so (is that right?).. perhaps in time he will understand more. At least he is happier to be out of that uncomfortable environment though I am sure it would also be very difficult seeing (and knowing) what is happening to Randy. You mentioned in another thread you also had a daughter? How is she handling things? how old is she?

Anyway hope things are going OK....
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
twirl
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« Reply #191 on: September 05, 2008, 11:51:38 AM »

hey filpBob
we women down here think the Cable guy is the dude
we love his way of talking
and you do not need RichardMel's anything---YOU HAVE YOUR VODKA
RichardMel is RichardMel and FlipBob is Flipbob
different but loved the same
and then there is Sluff and that is a whole other post
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annabanana
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« Reply #192 on: September 05, 2008, 04:34:35 PM »

You guys are so funny!!! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; I only have a minute (on a friend's computer quickly) but I wanted to say that I am not at all offended by the funny "depressed and drinking" comments, Rose. I laughed so hard...and I need a good laugh always, as Richard DonJuan of Dialysis knows!  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; Gotta go but wanted to say I love you all! :grouphug;
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caregiver to Randy:
HepC and stage 4 ckd
1 kidney removed (cancer)Aug07
RichardMEL
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« Reply #193 on: September 05, 2008, 06:25:33 PM »

ahem... I have the odd medicinal vodka too you know. I have vanilla flavour in the fridge right now.

You know the D nurses always tell me "drink spirts rather than beer - more bang, less fluid!" but in contrast to the main topic of this thread it's definitely only a little bit every so often. Too much of anything is bad... and yes that includes flirting!

- Don Ricardo
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
pelagia
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« Reply #194 on: September 05, 2008, 07:01:03 PM »

Anna - just checking in to give you a  :cuddle; 
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As for me, I'll borrow this thought: "Having never experienced kidney disease, I had no idea how crucial kidney function is to the rest of the body." - KD
flip
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« Reply #195 on: September 05, 2008, 07:47:16 PM »

My vodka is very limited too, Richard, due to the Hep C. I still like to flirt though.
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annabanana
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« Reply #196 on: September 11, 2008, 11:07:37 AM »

I'm finally at a computer for a few hours. I've been working and going home, where I don't have internet yet. I've really missed you guys. But things are so much better and calmer. Working every day helps.

Been talking to Randy briefly now and then and there's not been much negativity. I don't answer his calls after 7 pm because I know he's drunk. He leaves ugly messages and I never acknowledge them. This seems to work really well.

He's still taking his meds, I guess. I see them but he won't talk about anything like that with me.

RichardMEL, my 23 year old daughter went to Australia about 5 years ago with a group of students and fell in love with the country. When I told her I'd been talking to you she said you needed to come visit and take her back to Australia with you! I told her you probably would, seeing that you are, after all, Don Ricardo... :rofl;  So you might have your pick between me, my daughter, Paris, either of her 2 daughters, and Lola (if Otto messes up.) I have another daughter but she's married to an Italian... 8)

And the ones you don't pick, well, we'll just go see Flip! >:D (and take Twirl  :cheer: with us!)

 :cuddle; back to you, Pelagia.  :) :) :)
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caregiver to Randy:
HepC and stage 4 ckd
1 kidney removed (cancer)Aug07
monrein
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Might as well smile

« Reply #197 on: September 11, 2008, 03:02:04 PM »

Hey Anna, it's always so nice to hear from you.  You sound great and I'm so glad.
Logged

Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
paris
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Posts: 8859


« Reply #198 on: September 11, 2008, 06:32:24 PM »

Anna, It is good to see your post.  Routine helps to get life back on track.  You are doing such a great job of putting your life back together.   

So, in the chat room the other night, RichardMelt-my-heart discovered that AlohaBeth left her heart in France with a Moroccan hunk, so I offered to adopt Richard!  So, you youngest daughter may have taken a giant lead in the search for a girl for our Romeo!   :rofl;     (don't tell Sluff about AlohaBeth and the Moroccan--he doesn't know he has competition!)

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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
RichardMEL
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« Reply #199 on: September 11, 2008, 07:28:34 PM »

I think I'm a bit old for a 23 year old.. she'd think I was almost old enough to be her father... ugh :(

Anna I like the way you have handled things with Randy. Acceptance of his decisions and finding a way to deal with it on your terms (eg: not accepting/responding to calls after 7). I guess if he were in real trouble and called you at night that wouldn't be so good, but you have the family friend there to look out for him, and he can always call 911 etc if it's a real emergency so I think that's fine. I think it's good that you've found some coping mechinisms to deal with the way he acts and at least when you do talk it's mostly positive - which I am sure is good for both of your stress levels and emotions.

Again good to hear from you with an update!! :)
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
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