You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....

[smokinbeaver]

I am dying laughing at each and every one of these! A moonshine still made out of a dialysis machine, thats brilliant!

Sharon

[okarol]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if you dialyze in your underwear

oh well i nthat case im a redneck lol

 

[Joe]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if you dialyze in your underwear

oh well i nthat case im a redneck lol

 

Gee, me too! 

[CebuShan]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if:

You go to dialysis in pajama pants... and you're not on nocturnal.

           I must be a redneck, I used to go in my PJ's when I didn't feel good. Now that I do home hemo, I'm always in my PJs!!         

[Riki]

it's rare that I don't wear pj's to dialysis.. may as well be comfortable if you're gonna be sitting in one spot for 4 hours

[fc2821]

These are so good I had to jump back in and add a few from my experiences, people I use to know who went to dialysis:

You might be a redneck on dialysis when:

You request a later start time or ask to trade someone becuse Friday is the start of deer season.

You ask the dietician of it is ok to eat smoked goose.

You have to remmerb to elave your gun(s) at home when you go to the clinic.

[cattlekid]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....


....you watch Duck Dynasty marathons during dialysis and look up Miss Kay's recipes for squirrel on the Internet during commercial breaks.   

[Riki]

You might be a redneck on dialysis when:

You request a later start time or ask to trade someone becuse Friday is the start of deer season.

I've never done that, but I have asked to change my time to go to a Jeff Dunham show.. I'm a big Walter fan... *G*

[CebuShan]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....


....you watch Duck Dynasty marathons during dialysis and look up Miss Kay's recipes for squirrel on the Internet during commercial breaks.   

I LOVE Duck Dynasty!  I guess that's more proof that I'm a redneck Dialysis patient!         

[chiromac]

You might be a Red Neck Dialysis Patient, if you're watching Ron "The Tatter" White and you stop hearing the jokes and start calculate how many kilos he's putting on with all that Scotch. 

[cattlekid]

He's one of my favorites.....

....."I had the right to remain silent, I just didn't have the ability."   

You might be a Red Neck Dialysis Patient, if you're watching Ron "The Tatter" White and you stop hearing the jokes and start calculate how many kilos he's putting on with all that Scotch. 

[Adam_W]

Wow, I started this thread six years ago and it's still going! 

[okarol]

Wow, I started this thread six years ago and it's still going! 

Yep, 237 posts later - still going strong! 

[CebuShan]

Wow, I started this thread six years ago and it's still going! 

Just goes to show how many redneck dialysis patients there are!   

[okarol]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if you know these Medical Terms:

Benign - What you be, after you be eight.
Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - what doctors do when patients die
Cesarean section - a neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan - searching for kitty
Cauterize - made eye contact with her
Colic - a sheep dog
coma- a punctuation mark
D & C - Where Washington is
Dilate - to live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - quicker than someone else
Fibula - a small lie
Genital - a non-Jewish person
GI series - world series of military baseball
Hangnail - what you hang your coat on
Impotent - distinguished, well-known
Labor pain - getting hurt at work
medical staff - a doctor's cane
Morbid - a higher offer
Nitrates - cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - a person who has fainted
Pap Smear - A fatherhood test
Pelvis - second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - a letter carrier
Recovery room - place to do upholstery
Rectum - darn near killed him
Secretion - hiding something
Seizure - a Roman emperor
Tablet - a small table
Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport
Tumor - one plus one more
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose - nearby / close by

[Joe]

^^^^ ^^^^

[CebuShan]

Okarol!:
                                             

[okarol]

You're either out or urine. hahahaha 

[Riki]

I have a plush kidney that I bought off iheartguts.com.  I bought the kidney separate, but it can come in a set with a tshirt, buttons, stickers, and a few other things I don't remember, called "When Urine Love"

[pagandialysis]

I have a plush kidney that I bought off iheartguts.com.  I bought the kidney separate, but it can come in a set with a tshirt, buttons, stickers, and a few other things I don't remember, called "When Urine Love"

Yeeeeah, I have one too.

[obsidianom]

DIALYSIS   :      What we old timers did in the days before push button phones  (rotary phones for you young-uns) , when we wanted to call our sisters.

[Simon Dog]

You might be a redneck if you are slightly offended by the "no guns" sign at Fresenius clinics.

[CebuShan]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if...

Your husband sits in one of the chairs and people start wondering when we got massage chairs!     

[okarol]

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if:

You ever had to remove a toothpick to have your temperature taken.

You drink a six-pack during dialysis, after adding it to your dry weight.

[marlinfshr]

I know this is an old thread but I just read it and came up with a few dumb ones myself such as;


if you go to the dialysis center with a deer in the back of your truck.

If you go help track a deer right after you finish filling up on CAPD.

If you go sit in a deer stand while letting your dialysis fluid dwell.

If you hang your bags from the antlers on the wall.

If you have to move a couple guns so you can get to your boxes of dialysis fluid stored in the closet.

If you miss a dialysis appointment because you went fishin'.

If you were late because you had to track a deer.

If, while guttin a deer you're very careful to not do any more damage because you think you might be able to use it's kidney.

If you arrive at the center and get dirty looks because your camo clothes and hands are covered in blood---before getting stuck with the needles.

If you need to borrow a ladder from the center to get your dialysis exchanges out of the back of your truck during test time.

If those boxes are covered in blood from a deer in the bed of your truck.

If you have to explain to the nurses that you haven't gained any weight, its just that you forgot to empty all the extra shotgun shells out of your pockets at weigh in.