Ignorant things people have said to you

[cherpep]

I point out to my students that there is nothing wrong with ignorance. The problems arise when people decide they prefer to BE ignorant instead of becoming educated on a topic.

I agree 100%. Nicely stated.  That's a keeper.

[paul.karen]

Im not sure if this is ignorant or not.

But people will ask me how im doing and how im feeling.  Since i dont look sick.  And as i start to explain to them how im feeling or even about dialysis they pipe in with.  I had this surgery or i have rheumatoid arthritis and turn the conversation into or about themselves.  I smile say wow thats pretty tough must be hard on you and kindly walk away.

Many people will ask but very few want to actually listen.

[dwcrawford]

The key is in your last statement.  Do they really wanted to know?  For those who don't you can tell.  I normally juse say, "fine,  how are you."

Yes, that was probably rude.....

[cherpep]

I do the same thing, Dan.  The ones who really do want to know will always ask another question.  Then, I engage in a true conversation. 

[dwcrawford]

Way back in olden days when PCs were new to the corporate workplace it was my job to train employees in their basic use.  In those days IBM PCs has no hard drive and only one floppy drive (Drive A:)  There was not a WWW or even a LAN much less Twitter and Facebook.  Lol.  Not even a mouse.

In one of my early sessions of training a very high up executed wanted to attend.  I’m talking Presidential level.  Remember, the PC had only one drive so my spiel went something like this:

Insert the Disk in your packet labeled PC Dos.  (Then I’d explain what was happening and why we had to do it.)
Next, Insert the disk labeled (whatever program we were working on) followed by a short explanation.
Next, Insert your Data Disk (that’s the one with your name on it)  Blah blah blah.

At this point the Executive looked a little frustrated so I walked to his desk.  He looked up and quite confused said, Dan, My Disk Drive is Full.
Some people snickered but not i.  Ignorant?  Nah, he basically ran a Fortune 50 company, and neither did I laugh at him (might have been because of who he was).
The lesson that day was mine.  Never make assumptions about what people know and don’t know.  Often things obvious to us are not obvious to everyone.  It stayed with me.  There after (probably did that same session hundreds more times) my spiel was more like:

Insert the Disk in your packet labeled PC Dos.  (Then I’d explain what was happening and why we had to do it.) And remember to say:
Remove the Dos Disk and
Next, Insert the disk labeled (whatever program we were working on) and then repeat
Remove the Program Disk. 
Etc.
Some of the stupid things I say and do in the “off topics” are funny to me.  I just find it difficult to laugh at people who are genuinely trying to say something nice, etc.  Oh, not kids…  Kids were made to be funny.  And many of the things in the post are amusing and some are downright rude.  My issue is not with people making fun of those things.  I have one that happens here every M,W,F at 4 PM from a , not ignorant, but rude person.  If this post weren’t already so long, I’d tell you about it.
Ok, Dan.  It’s time for you to give it a rest.  After all, you have used the spell checker.

[BRANDY]

I may make some of u think im absolutly ignorant but  I do have something  to say about what you alllseem to be thinking..alot of us just does not know  about all the  problems you have   it is up to you to educate your friends and family  even a stranger.  I come here to learn   and I know some of my ? may be stupid to you but It is important  for me to know. So I ask .   And I want you to know I do appreciate your answers.  I am looking down the road at dialysis  and am very scared  but will still ask questions.. I have maybe a stupid question but will post in the right thread not here.Thank you  and I hope not offend you but give us unknowers  alittle break . I have learnt alot from you and hope to learn alot more before I have to do dialysis       Sorry to  ramble

[dwcrawford]

Brandy, that is absolutely the point.  If you have questions ask.  If someones answers you then ask someone else.  Get as many opinions as you can and then decide which you have the most faith in.  In the end, it all  comes down to your judgement.  And if you get questions from friends, etc., then answer the best you can always leaving an opening for another question.

[willowtreewren]

HI, Brandy,
Ignorance is nothing to be ashamed of, especially if you are trying to find the answers that will reduce that ignorance. 

IHD is a great place for that.

BUT, we all need a place to share some of the stuff that happens to us because of kidney disease. This is a great place for finding understanding among others who have experienced the general ignorance about ESRF, too. This is a thread for that. 

Keep posting and asking questions. 

Aleta

[dwcrawford]

Brandy,  I think we use the wrong expression maybe with  Ignorant.  Maybe uninformed would be a better way to go.  I guess it wouldn't be so clever as a thread heading though..."uninformed things people have ... "

[BRANDY]

thank you guys , you really didnt  come down on me as I thought  you would.  What I really was saying   there is so much info we dont know   and to ask is all we can do ... Yes I know some people  dont seem to care   but  the way I look at that  is they dont matter anyways.   Family or not.   I have come to learn you guys on dialysis are great people and you really do care about each other  ,  you have your  family right here.,  I would also love to belong to a family as good as yall are.   Can you tell Im  from tx. by my slang.?  haha   it comes out even in typing.    Bottom line is you guys are great .   And yes I will still ask questions.

[BeachLover]

Im not sure if this is ignorant or not.

But people will ask me how im doing and how im feeling.  Since i dont look sick.  And as i start to explain to them how im feeling or even about dialysis they pipe in with.  I had this surgery or i have rheumatoid arthritis and turn the conversation into or about themselves.  I smile say wow thats pretty tough must be hard on you and kindly walk away.

Many people will ask but very few want to actually listen.

Oh so true! They want you to say that you feel so much better and everything is fine! They DO NOT want to hear any problems. Even family. Just smile brightly and say Great! Thats it!

[pamster42000]

I donated a kidney to my daughter in 1993. A friend asked me if I ever had side effects from donating. I said well I find when I walk it is lop-sided sometimes. He took me serious and I had to tell him I was only joking.

[Hanify]

An aunt told me that the bone biopsy she'd had was the worst pain she'd ever experienced in her life.  This was just before I was getting a bone biopsy.  Soooo helpful.  My husband was beside himself with worry.  Actually, in the end, it was completely pain free, and I didn't even know when the lovely doc had done it!

[dwcrawford]

Even the doctor had told me how bad a bone marrow biopsy hurt.  It would be the very last thing we'd test for low platelets since it was so painful.  Not a bit.  The guy who did it looked like a lumberjack.  Said wouldn't hurt because he would use the arm he used to lift this beer.

[tee]

Someone asks my husband if he did drugs, because they could see his fistula.  I responded first and said yes, and asked if she wanted some.  The expression on her face was priceless, needless to say she walked from us, and we just kept laughing.

[Kitsune]

How about this one?  We are moving to a large city and my sister doesn't want me to move, so she's trying to convince me that it's going to be hard to find a dialysis center there, when there's aboiut 40 of them there (I checked.)

[Des]

I told my co-workers on Friday that I found a match for a transplant and that she is starting the workup tests soon......YEAH!

They replied...... "I hope this is not going to take place over year-end as we are  very busy then" "I hope you are not to long off work" "Is it really necassary?" "Why not wait until you get sick" "Does your husband know?" "Why do you need a  kidney, you can go onto that machine or something? "

O my goodness..... I had so many things I wanted to say but was so stunned I could not think of anything......aaaaaahhhhhh.
ps... I am trying to schedule it over year-end ... hahahahahah

[BigSteve]

I see your coworkers are a really sympathetic bunch, Des.

[Hanify]

Are they all related?  How can so many people in one place be so ignorant!  Good luck with the tests.

[Chris]

Sounds like the best time to schedule it then Des, when it is very busy so they don't dump everything onto you  .

[cariad]

Are they all related?

  Great question, Hanify!

Good luck, Des.

[Des]

I don't think they are all related.... (maybe?  no)

I just think.... I don't appear to be ill.... on the outside... that is maybe why they don't think it is so serious.  I don't act ill as well. Most days I put a fake smile on and just bear it.

I don't want to talk about my illness and only a handfull of people know the true state of my health.

All that said, I still expected a little bit more sympathy... Luckily the boss is totally human and sympathetic and he said whenever suits him. Thats all that matters.

[Restorer]

I have a quote I like to use for situations like that: "Do not mistake composure for ease."

True to myself, it's from the Vulcan Tuvok of Star Trek Voyager. 

[Des]

I have a quote I like to use for situations like that: "Do not mistake composure for ease."

True to myself, it's from the Vulcan Tuvok of Star Trek Voyager. 

I LOVE THIS!

Thanks

[lcamanini]

I was taking a urinalysis class last semester and the teacher wanted volunteers to donate urine for us to do tests on. After class I told her I wanted to donate because I have kidney failure and she replied very enthusiastically, "Oh good!!" I realize she was just excited because we would get to see some interesting results, but I thought that wasn't a very well thought out response.

Just a few weeks ago I was in my hematology class after dialysis and someone asked what happened to my arm. I told him I had been at dialysis. He laughed and assumed that I had given blood for class. He said something along the lines of "You'll probably need to be on dialysis after donating so much blood for class" or something really stupid like that. Then after an awkward silence he asked what really happened to my arm. When I repeated that I had dialysis he just said "Oh" and walked away.