I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 26, 2024, 10:29:16 AM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
532606 Posts in 33561 Topics by 12678 Members
Latest Member: astrobridge
* Home Help Search Login Register
+  I Hate Dialysis Message Board
|-+  Dialysis Discussion
| |-+  Dialysis: Humor, Pictures, Stories and Poems
| | |-+  You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....		 0 Members and 19 Guests are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 5 6 [7] 8 9 10 Go Down Print
Author Topic: You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....  (Read 92092 times)
Rerun
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 12242


Going through life tied to a chair!
« Reply #150 on: July 26, 2009, 05:43:39 AM »
Quote from: twirl on July 26, 2009, 05:39:07 AM
if all your techs were trained at Huntsville State Prison

You're on a roll Twirl-Girl!
                                                   :clap;
Logged
marti824
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 367
« Reply #151 on: July 26, 2009, 10:45:38 AM »
If, while doing your treatment, you are watching reruns of Walker, Texas Ranger.
Logged
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #152 on: July 26, 2009, 04:42:54 PM »
Quote from: marti824 on July 26, 2009, 10:45:38 AM
If, while doing your treatment, you are watching reruns of Walker, Texas Ranger.


that is so true
Logged
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #153 on: July 26, 2009, 04:59:53 PM »
if you can stay in the pool for five hours straight without going behind the barn to pee ---
Logged
Chris
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #154 on: July 26, 2009, 06:06:24 PM »
 :o
Logged
Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
dwcrawford
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 5315


Getting the heck out of town.
« Reply #155 on: July 26, 2009, 06:35:18 PM »
Quote from: twirl on July 26, 2009, 05:39:07 AM
if all your techs were trained at Huntsville State Prison

No doubt you qualify as a redneck Twirl.  Even if you don't take your armadillo sandwich with you to dialysis.
Logged
Come to think of it, nothing is funny anymore.

Nothing that I post here is intended for fact but rather for exploration into my personal thought processes.  Any slight, use of words with multiple connotations or other percieved insults are totally unintended.  I reserve my insults for private.
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #156 on: July 27, 2009, 07:02:26 PM »
you might be a redneck dialysis patient if your friend on IHD has an ass for his avatar
Logged
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #157 on: July 27, 2009, 08:45:54 PM »
 :rofl;  :rofl;

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if you give the center staff your special homemade armadillo jerky for Christmas gifts.
Logged

Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Chris
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #158 on: July 27, 2009, 09:37:36 PM »
I can imagine Twirl doing that!  :rofl; :rofl;
Just for vengefull purposes to staff though.  :rofl;
Logged
Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #159 on: August 19, 2009, 03:01:23 PM »
I give out the low salt recipe to the dialysis patients :waiting;
Logged
Des
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2318
« Reply #160 on: August 20, 2009, 03:19:13 AM »
You want to "park" your chair closer to the TV
Logged
Please note: I am no expert. Advise given is not medical advise but from my own experience or research. Or just a feeling...

South Africa
PKD
Jan 2010 Nephrectomy (left kidney)
Jan 2010 Fistula
Started April 2010 Hemo Dialysis(hate every second of it)
Nov 2012 Placed on disalibity (loving it)
willowtreewren
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 6928


My two beautifull granddaughters

WWW
« Reply #161 on: August 20, 2009, 07:18:07 AM »
You call your dogs to clean up any blood spills.
Logged
Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
Mother to Meagan, who has PKD.
Partner for NxStage HD August 2008 - February 2011.
Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #162 on: August 20, 2009, 10:33:18 AM »
Quote from: willowtreewren on August 20, 2009, 07:18:07 AM
You call your dogs to clean up any blood spills.
:puke;
Logged

Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Chris
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #163 on: August 20, 2009, 09:56:13 PM »
Quote from: willowtreewren on August 20, 2009, 07:18:07 AM
You call your dogs to clean up any blood spills.
You don't have a dog named "Cujo" do you?  :rofl; :rofl;
Logged
Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #164 on: September 09, 2009, 05:09:39 PM »

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if the warning lights on your home hemo machine are made of red tape.
Logged

Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #165 on: September 09, 2009, 05:14:11 PM »
Quote from: okarol on September 09, 2009, 05:09:39 PM

You might be a redneck dialysis patient if the warning lights on your home hemo machine are made of red tape.

or duct tape -- silver                        Flipbob had a dog named Cujo -- and he was a red neck
Logged
Adam_W
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1139


Me with Baron von Fresenius
« Reply #166 on: September 09, 2009, 08:48:58 PM »
...You bring your banjo (or guitar) to dialysis and play "dueling banjos" with the patient across from you.

Adam
« Last Edit: September 09, 2009, 09:41:47 PM by Adam_W » Logged
-Diagnosed with ESRD (born with one kidney, hypertension killed it) Jan 21st, 2007
-Started dialysis four days later in hospital (Baxter 1550-I think, then Gambro Phoenix)
-Started in-centre dialysis Feb 6th 2007 (Fres. 2008H)
-Started home hemo June 5th 2007 (NxStage/Pureflow)
-PD catheter placed June 6th 2008 (Bye bye NxStage, at least for now)
-Started CAPD July 4th, 2008
-PD catheter removed Dec 2, 2008-PD just wouldn't work, so I'm back on NxStage
-Kidney function improved enough to go off dialysis, Feb. 2011!!!!!
-Back on dialysis (still NxStage) July 2011 :(
-In-centre self-care dialysis March 2012 (Fresenius 2008K)
-Not on transplant list yet.


"Don't live for dialysis, use dialysis to LIVE"
Chris
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #167 on: September 09, 2009, 09:38:50 PM »
Quote from: Adam_W on September 09, 2009, 08:48:58 PM
...You play bring your banjo (or guitar) to dialysis and play "dueling banjos" with the patient across from you.

Adam

Why does Ned Beatty come to mind?  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

Anyone, Anyone know the movie I'm thinking  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Logged
Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #168 on: September 09, 2009, 09:39:19 PM »
Quote from: Chris on September 09, 2009, 09:38:50 PM
Quote from: Adam_W on September 09, 2009, 08:48:58 PM
...You play bring your banjo (or guitar) to dialysis and play "dueling banjos" with the patient across from you.

Adam

Why does Ned Beatty come to mind?  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

Anyone, Anyone know the movie I'm thinking  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

Deliverance.
Logged

Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Rerun
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 12242


Going through life tied to a chair!
« Reply #169 on: September 09, 2009, 09:40:14 PM »
du du du du du...........
Logged
YLGuy
Elite Member
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 4901
« Reply #170 on: September 09, 2009, 10:50:46 PM »
do do do do do do do do do
Logged
Chris
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #171 on: September 09, 2009, 10:56:59 PM »
Isn't that how the song "Take A Walk On The Wild Side" goes  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

Crud forgot who sang that now.
Logged
Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #172 on: October 17, 2009, 01:50:48 PM »
Quote from: Chris on September 09, 2009, 10:56:59 PM
Isn't that how the song "Take A Walk On The Wild Side" goes  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

Crud forgot who sang that now.

Lou Reed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FKts1JOaJc&feature=related
Logged

Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #173 on: October 17, 2009, 02:05:24 PM »
You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....

  - your center's defibrillator consists of a marine battery, a pair of jumper cables, and a fish finder

  - any of your kids were conceived at nocturnal dialysis
Logged

Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
jennyc
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 388


First day of school 08'
« Reply #174 on: October 30, 2009, 05:34:53 AM »
 :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
 :twocents;
You might be a redneck dialysis patient if you convert your lazyboy chair to a V8 stock car, hook your dialysis machine to the back and drive it to the rodeo!

you might be...... if your dialysis centre is also your faveourite bottleshop

                         if you lock your tubing up with your garden hose to stop the kids chopping it for bongs

                         if you recycle your pd bags and use them for storing your moonshine.

                         if you use your fistula to get your daily 'shots' of vodka.

                         when you wife/cousin left you for your unlce/brother they took your dialysis machine and hocked it for motel money.

                         you hand out 6 packs of beer to the centre staff for xmas presants, then you bum half their smokes after the next session.

                                           
                         
Logged
2003 January - acute renal failure
        March/April - Started PD
2009 October - PD failing, First fistula put in.

Cadaveric Transplant 27/1/2010
Pages: 1 ... 5 6 [7] 8 9 10 Go Up Print 
« previous next »
 
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP SMF 2.0.17 | SMF © 2019, Simple Machines | Terms and Policies Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!