I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 26, 2024, 10:42:49 AM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
532606 Posts in 33561 Topics by 12678 Members
Latest Member: astrobridge
* Home Help Search Login Register
+  I Hate Dialysis Message Board
|-+  Dialysis Discussion
| |-+  Dialysis: Humor, Pictures, Stories and Poems
| | |-+  You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....		 0 Members and 14 Guests are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 4 5 [6] 7 8 ... 10 Go Down Print
Author Topic: You might be a redneck dialysis patient if.....  (Read 92107 times)
kitkatz
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 17042
« Reply #125 on: May 23, 2009, 09:52:50 PM »
The table the Nx-Stage is on used to be a telephone cable spool.
Logged


lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #126 on: June 13, 2009, 06:41:10 PM »
You might be a redneck...

If your dialysis nurse brings you a shot of moonshine!
Logged

Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Chris
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #127 on: June 13, 2009, 06:45:32 PM »
And if my nurse looked like that, I wouldn't want the monshine  :rofl; :shy;
Logged
Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
kitkatz
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 17042
« Reply #128 on: June 13, 2009, 08:01:08 PM »
Bring ON that Moonshine!



the benadryl and tylenol they bring you in the middle of the night looks like moonshine to you!
Logged


lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #129 on: June 14, 2009, 03:00:53 PM »
if you save the last piece of armadillo meatloaf for your snack at dialysis -
Logged
Rerun
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 12242


Going through life tied to a chair!
« Reply #130 on: June 14, 2009, 06:02:02 PM »
If your clinic goes under the freeway to solicit good help!

                                     :stressed;
Logged
Chris
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #131 on: June 14, 2009, 08:03:29 PM »
In your case Rerun that may have ben true with fric and frak
Logged
Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
marti824
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 367
« Reply #132 on: June 15, 2009, 05:14:14 AM »
If you take your kids, in diapers, with you to the Walmart to pick up your supplies.  everything is cheaper at the walmart
Logged
kitkatz
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 17042
« Reply #133 on: June 15, 2009, 06:24:37 AM »
You move your dialysis machine into Walmart and do treatment there, because they have air conditioning!
Logged


lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
marti824
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 367
« Reply #134 on: June 15, 2009, 07:42:00 AM »
Too funny.  Let's all start with the walmart references, what could be more redneck?  I love Walmart!
Logged
greco02
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 100
« Reply #135 on: June 15, 2009, 08:04:08 AM »
You might be a redneck if your fluid intake consists of Jello shooters....
Logged
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #136 on: June 18, 2009, 07:08:42 AM »
Quote from: greco02 on June 15, 2009, 08:04:08 AM
You might be a redneck if your fluid intake consists of Jello shooters....

good one    :yahoo;
Logged
breezysummerday
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 355
« Reply #137 on: July 20, 2009, 09:44:47 PM »


if your wheelchair says:  STOLEN FROM [insert name] DIALYSIS CENTER on the back rest!
Logged
caregiver to Ray
renal failure 6/08
listed 7/09
~thank you epoman~
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #138 on: July 21, 2009, 10:31:58 PM »
 :2thumbsup; Hahaha!
Logged

Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #139 on: July 24, 2009, 04:04:04 PM »
you might be a redneck dialysis patient if .....
you sneak grits in your thermos
because you are not allowed to bring food          ( it does not work )
if you miss an armadillo on your way to dialysis but right down the road you hit another one
( I did it today )
Logged
Chris
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #140 on: July 24, 2009, 10:10:11 PM »
Quote from: twirl on July 24, 2009, 04:04:04 PM

you sneak grits in your thermos
because you are not allowed to bring food          ( it does not work )


I did that with oatmeal, but to work where they didn't want food in the office.
Logged
Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
okarol
Administrator
Member for Life
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 100933


Photo is Jenna - after Disneyland - 1988

WWW
« Reply #141 on: July 24, 2009, 10:43:09 PM »
Quote from: twirl on July 24, 2009, 04:04:04 PM
you might be a redneck dialysis patient if .....
if you miss an armadillo on your way to dialysis but right down the road you hit another one
( I did it today )

Yup, it's official. twirl you ARE a redneck!  :beer1;
Logged

Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Rerun
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 12242


Going through life tied to a chair!
« Reply #142 on: July 25, 2009, 12:02:52 AM »
Quote from: twirl on July 24, 2009, 04:04:04 PM
you might be a redneck dialysis patient if .....
you sneak grits in your thermos
because you are not allowed to bring food          ( it does not work )
if you miss an armadillo on your way to dialysis but right down the road you hit another one
( I did it today )

AND you go back and pick it up for dinner~!!
Logged
Chris
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #143 on: July 25, 2009, 12:05:44 AM »
That's why they call it pre cooked food, natural sun cooked food  :rofl; :rofl;
Logged
Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #144 on: July 25, 2009, 04:03:34 AM »
Quote from: Chris on July 25, 2009, 12:05:44 AM
That's why they call it pre cooked food, natural sun cooked food  :rofl; :rofl;


I know and that makes it healthy ---
Logged
Chris
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #145 on: July 25, 2009, 03:59:46 PM »
And the meat had been pre tenderized by the time you get back too. :2thumbsup; :rofl;
Logged
Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
Rerun
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 12242


Going through life tied to a chair!
« Reply #146 on: July 25, 2009, 04:36:35 PM »
And you carefully count out the protein grams and fat content.
Logged
kitkatz
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 17042
« Reply #147 on: July 25, 2009, 08:43:52 PM »
You put the dialysis machine and chair in the back of your pick up truck on treatment days!
Logged


lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
Chris
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #148 on: July 25, 2009, 08:49:40 PM »
If that chair is more comfortable than any dialysis unit, would that really be such a bad thing?
Logged
Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
twirl
Member for Life
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 8960
« Reply #149 on: July 26, 2009, 05:39:07 AM »
if all your techs were trained at Huntsville State Prison
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 4 5 [6] 7 8 ... 10 Go Up Print 
« previous next »
 
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP SMF 2.0.17 | SMF © 2019, Simple Machines | Terms and Policies Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!