Husband 45 with no dialysis for 6 days-says he's quitting

[WishIKnew]

Sending my love and support to you and your family.  Wish I had the perfect words.

[AnnieB]

Johnswife, I am so so sorry to hear the news. I know you are second-guessing how you handled his passing, but I want to tell you that I think you handled it perfectly. He was suffering so much, that just being there for him and holding him and loving him as he passed was a tremendous gift from you to him. You did exactly the right thing by letting him go, even if it was so painful to you. I've worked in Hospice, and letting someone go, giving them permission to go, is one of the hardest things many people ever have to do. It doesn't mean you failed him, or didn't love him....in fact, it means you loved him enough to let him go on his own terms, in the way he'd chosen. A tremendous thing. You have a tremendous heart. May God be with your family through all of this. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

Anne

[Marsh]

 

[AguynamedKim]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Lisa.  May John rest is peace and may you find solace in know that you were his rock in the most dire situation imaginable.  Honoring his wishes the way you did required tremendous strength and courage.  I believe letting John slip away peacefully was absolutely the right thing to do.  John will always be there in your heart and nothing can take that away from you.

[Relentless]

Brings tear. Ur journey was amazing and inspirational.

[chiromac]

I'm still amazed by your family's strength, it is easy to see how much you loved him.  I got divorced before I went on dialysis and only have my daughter, it is nice to see a marriage as strong as yours, trust me your husband knew he had an amazing family.  RIP 

Larry

[Clara]

My prayers are with you and your family during this time. 

John 14:27-29

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. You heard me say to you, ‘I am going away, and I will come to you.’ If you loved me, you would have rejoiced, because I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. And now I have told you before it takes place, so that when it does take place you may believe.

Christi

[lmunchkin]

Johnswife, I am so so sorry to hear the news. I know you are second-guessing how you handled his passing, but I want to tell you that I think you handled it perfectly. He was suffering so much, that just being there for him and holding him and loving him as he passed was a tremendous gift from you to him. You did exactly the right thing by letting him go, even if it was so painful to you. I've worked in Hospice, and letting someone go, giving them permission to go, is one of the hardest things many people ever have to do. It doesn't mean you failed him, or didn't love him....in fact, it means you loved him enough to let him go on his own terms, in the way he'd chosen. A tremendous thing. You have a tremendous heart. May God be with your family through all of this. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

Anne

So sorry Johnswife for your loss!  He wouldnt want you to second guess. You were His Angel & a rock for him.  You handled it perfectly.  Know that he was one very Brave man, cause it wouldnt be easy to leave so many behind, but he did it fearlessly.  May he rest in the arms of Jesus Forever!

The post above said it best!

God Bless and please continue to let us know how you are doing.  Some of us here, will have to face what you faced one day!
lmunchkin

[YellowRose]

Sorry to hearing the news. I know there is no words we can say to make it better. Will continue to keep you and your family in my prayer. Pray God comfort you, give you peace, hold you in His hands and His Love.
- Rose

[RichardMEL]

Such a difficult time for you - as you say you should expect it, you knew it was coming, but each day he held on and seemingly defied the odds probably made it al a bit unreal, despite the obvious signs, specially the longer it went on.

It was his choice and not your fault. Now he's pain and struggle free and I guess that is one way to look a it.

I hope you can find positives.

best wishes,
richard

[johnswife]

Hello to all--Its my first Christmas without my dear John in 24 years so its a hard day but I have all 6 of our children here with me as well as my new grandaughter!! The other grandaughter of course is still in the hospital. I just miss him terribly and would give almost anything to hear his voice just one more time, get one more kiss. Tell him how much I love him and what he means to me and this family. We love him soooo much.

[jeannea]

It's great your children are there. And a grandchild warms your heart even when you're sad. I'm sure it's hard. It sounds like you're putting one foot in front of the other. Best Christmas wishes to you and your family.

[WishIKnew]

Thinking of you.  I'm glad your family is gathered around.  Be kind to yourself.  Give yourself as much love and patience as you showed to John.  All types of healing take time...

[boswife]

It hurts just hearing it   Im so glad your family is there to share and comfort.  Good advice already given, i will just share my love and prayers..   

[jbeany]

 

[cassandra]

           

[Riverwhispering]

Johnswife I haven't been to the IHD site in a long time.  I just read your whole thread here and my heart goes out to you and your family.  Thank you for sharing this end of life story with us.  You are a wonderfully strong woman and  in a strange way it's wonderful you had grandkidlets the day he passed.  RIP John

[kennedy56]

There is hope. My husband had similar bouts of the same thing.  He is also blind in his left eye due to intercranial pressure.  He has had I know he feels overwhelm but just encouraging him.  He is in alot of pain but life is worth living and there are good things to come.

[MomoMcSleepy]

I haven't been on the site in so long!  I'm so sorry for your loss.  Please don't think you should have woken him up.  I really don't think it would have helped.  That breathing is one of the last signs of dying.  My dad breathed like that for hours the night he died.  He went peacefully in his sleep--is there a better way to go?  Poor John is at rest, and he was alive for the birth of his new grandbabies.  I'm so sorry for your loss, and the toll it took on your family.  I am glad John's no longer suffering, and hope you all can move on to find new joy in your family, and honor John's memory and strength. 

God bless you!  You will still be in our thoughts, I'm sure.  It is hard to lose your lifemate, but you are obviously very tough yourself, and very capable of leading your family.  As my grandma said, some days you feel fine, and others are awful, but over time the grief gets easier to bear.  If it doesn't, please see a psychiatrist!  Sometimes our brains get stuck in a bit of a rut,and needs push out.

Take care!  So sorry, again.

[WishIKnew]

You are on y mind and I wanted you to know.  Sending hugs to you.

[M3Riddler]

So sorry to hear about this...

[johnswife]

 

Hello to everyone.  Sorry for the long delay. I just wanted to give you guys an update. First I got a great job now, kids are doing pretty good with the exception of Katy who is still struggling but I'm working in getting her help. I am doing much better and while I think of him everyday I now smile when I think of him and have so many good memories. I know he's not hurting anymore and in a much better place. I know he's smiling down and watching over me and our kids.  I hope you are all well and I love you all and wish you all peace, happiness and health in this new year. I'm going to be going for my GED soon so wish me luck. I will check in time to time and think of you all often.

God Bless you all
Lisa -still Johnswife in my heart

[willowtreewren]

Thank you for the update. 

Hold onto those happy memories. They do keep John alive in your heart. I'm so glad that you have found a job you like and are healing. It takes time.

 

Aleta
 

[boswife]

Yes, thank you for the update.  Good to hear that things are moving in the right direction and Katy will come around in time.  Bless you and hang on to the smiles.  Time will continue to heal 

[lmunchkin]

Awe.... thanks for updating Lisa (JW).  You will always have those memories.  They are what will help with the loss. John wants you to go on now.  Be with the one's you love and enjoy their company.  He knows you sacrificed alot, now it is your time to shine!!!!

The new job sounds like a brand new adventure.  Go with it and embrace it.  You have alot to give still.

Love & think of you often.  Hold those kids close & thight!

God Bless,
lmunchkin