You have got to be kidding!!!!!

[okarol]

I think that the rudest thing is to have moderators move topics to the back burner (Some place else) because they (he, she, it) just don't like the content of the post. For instance This Topic.

You're right, mods/admins are human, just like anyone else. And I know we all don't have personalities that mesh with every person on the forum. Some use humor and sarcasm, some are warm and considerate and others have limited time to give - but we do the best we can. I always try to remember that chronically ill patients might have have bad days and that affects their mood. A long time ago Goofynina explained that to me and I have tried to be more understanding of all the different personalities here on IHD.

Hurlock - I know you have trouble with finding things on the forum, but it is just not true. We don't remove your threads. None of them have been archived. We only move threads to the proper area to keep the forum organized and readable. But no amount of explanation seems to alter your perception and I don't know what else to do.

okarol/admin

[hurlock1]

You're right, mods/admins are human, just like anyone else. And I know we all don't have personalities that mesh with every person on the forum. Some use humor and sarcasm, some are warm and considerate and others have limited time to give - but we do the best we can. I always try to remember that chronically ill patients might have have bad days and that affects their mood. A long time ago Goofynina explained that to me and I have tried to be more understanding of all the different personalities here on IHD.

Hurlock - I know you have trouble with finding things on the forum, but it is just not true. We don't remove your threads. None of them have been archived. We only move threads to the proper area to keep the forum organized and readable. But no amount of explanation seems to alter your perception and I don't know what else to do.

okarol/admin

okarol.
As often as not, I have trouble finding my own. . . 
I generally come to Dialysis: General Discussion; previously believing that "Dialysis: General Discussion" was General Discussion. I found that it wasn't. From what I understand, it's general discussion about dialysis. It seems to me that THIS TOPIC isn't about dialysis. I'm not complaining. Often, these things need to be brought into the forefront. I can't help but wonder if I had instigated this topic if it would have been moved somewhere else. Like I said, everybody has their human side. We can't be adults all the time.
There is a good chance that I will not instigate any new topics because I'd hate to be "off topic" and have my post be moved and have my feelings hurt after seeing THIS TOPIC not be moved because it's off topic. I already have the paranoia of feeling alone or not "a part of", even in a crowd. Apparantly, It has something to do with WHO is doing the posting as to whether a subjective post gets moved or not.
jmz

[okarol]

You're right, this thread belongs in Site Requests, Comments, Technical Help and would have been moved by a moderator at some point, we do them as we have time. I will move it now.

You are wrong about WHO is posting, it doesn't matter. Only the topic.

okarol/admin

[Sluff]

Whoa!!

Just who thinks who is running this site?  With Karol's help I make the decisions as to what goes on here at IHD. I am the closest anyone is going to get to owning this site and I have the right (like it or not) to decide. Epoman and I had a close bond and if anyone knows what he would have wanted for the future here at IHD I do.

With that said there is a shakedown happenning right now here at IHD. I have decided that this site is not worth all the crap that Karol and the Moderators are going through to keep it running.

If you truly want this site to continue than we need your support! No more gang up wars like the hood. I am starting with two bans today. With the promise of more to come.

The outcome is up to the members. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE AT IHD THEN LEAVE NOW!! Because if the bickering keeps going, you will be banned anyway. If you have a legitimate gripe feel free to email me and I will listen and make a decision. But the decision will be final. Like it or not. Yes I may change my mind if your ideas bring new views to the table. But then we have to live with the decisions I make with no coming back to public forum and trying to sway public opinion.  This is a privately owned site and will remain that way for those who need it.

Lets get back to helping those who need IHD and lets have fun doing it.

Sluff/Admin

[Wattle]

There are some terrific people on this site and Karol and Kit are at the top of the list as far as I am concerned.  Everyone on this site is battling with this disease and some cope with it better than others.

I found this site just after starting dialysis. Being a home based patient it was my life line to others going through the same troubles. Everyone does cope with this disease differently. I have certainly had my ups and downs! But with all friendships, respect of others feelings and situations should be considered when writing posts. You walk a fine line when you choose to make it personal.

Karol, Kit and all the moderators are dealing with their own issues and still coming here to make sure the site is running smoothly.
Give them a break! I have had nothing but SUPPORT from IHD. Epo would have steam coming out of his ears!

[RichardMEL]

I've really tried to keep away from this whole issue.

I'm not going to comment on the issues with the members who have been banned - as has been said a number of times by the mods that there's stuff that has happened behind the scenes, in PM's and whatever, that we don't know about. I refuse to believe that anyone would be so petty to ban someone for what we've seen in public posts so clearly more has gone on - I don't know, so I'm not going to comment. When you don't have all the facts of a situation it's easy to take a view that might be totally different if other things were known.

What I will say about moderation is that if there was NO moderation by the admin guys than this forum would totally suck - think full of spam, abuse, people shooting off about anything and it would be disorganised as well. It would not work nearly as well as it does now. Yep, the admin team are human, they have good and bad days, but they do their best. In general things run pretty well and these folks get nothing for their time and efforts apart from some complaining about this or that. I prefer to use the site, put my two cents in where I think I can, and quietly thank those who keep it running for me and others to use.

I am sorry that we can't all get along - that's society - people come and go. Some people go through crap, and need timeouts, others are better. That's the way it is. I personally wish people didn't need to be banned or anything like that, but I respect that the admin team have good reasons for doing it.

Let's try and remember what we're all here for - to support eachother. Who needs extra heartache? Not me, not you and certainly not the mods who have their own stuff to deal with on top of whatever goes on here.

I'm sorry some folks have gone - either by choice or otherwise... but there are still good people here. For as long as I am I want to contribute in a positive way.

[galvo]

Well said, Richard!!!!!

[fc2821]

    This whole mess makes me sad.  I don't like to see my friends fighting and being rude to one another.  I just came back after a few days absense and found this.  I'm going to stay away a while longer, hopefully people will mature and quit fighting.
      This is a great site, it has been a big help to me and I like everyone here.  It was created, I believe only been here a few months, to help people.  Share info, support one another, and let us talk about things that interest us to help us get through dialysis and its related issues togther.   That's why I "joined" and kept coming back every day. 
       Right now, there is no joy in coming here to IHD.  Too much negativity from all sides.  I have a lot of friends here, and I am going to miss them but I can't stay where people fuss and fight when they should be helping each other.   
         If that gets me banned, ok.  But I will not be back, if I can, for a while.
         Please everyone just stop being hateful to one another.   

[okarol]

It's like family. Not everyone gets along all the time. Sorry you don't have faith that we'll get through this. Good luck.

[Jean]

Rob, just remember. This too shall pass. Time will take care of this, so just keep coming back and talking to your firends, of which I hope I am one. We would miss your wit and humor if you left, so please dont.

[fc2821]

     Jean you are my friend, and I am glad you count me as yours.   Seems both you and okarol have goten the wrong impression.  I said I would go away for a while, not that I was leaving.   After thinking about it, I might not be going away for a little while, either.  Several people like you Jean, have contacted me and urged me to not  do so.    Right now is when we need to  support the  people who come here for info and support.   You can't do that by stayng away. 
       Okarol, I have faith in the site and waht it stands for.   People on the other hand are proven to be unreliable.   In such cases, you have to ignor that and press on doing what is right.   

[kellyt]

I don't want you to go, either!     I hate to see anyone leave, unless they are truly unhappy here.  All support group sites have issues with posters/people, and the good sites, the ones with moderators who care, get the same treatment.  It isn't tolerated anywhere -  that I've encountered anyway.

As for Dan, when he first joined I felt I truly understood his personality and humor, but as he settled in and got comfortable his humor changed a bit.  Now, if you are one of his diehard friends, and rightly so he has many, then you may not have noticed this change as others have.  Yes, he was funny at times and he was thoughtful at times, but I read more posts from him that I felt were just strange and I stopped responding and reading, his posts all together, which is exactly what anyone should do should you find someone on this site that you don't wish to hear from.  Don't open their posts, don't respond and just move along...respectfully.

Now, as for Sluff's post, I have only known him since the end of 2007 and I was lucky enough to meet him in late 2008, and if you DO email him with gripes, complains, back pats or WHATEVER, rest assure he will NOT post your PM in the public forum.

Love to everyone.  I hope no one leaves, as I have learned something from everyone who has posted on this thread!  We are all important to the survival of IHD.  All of us.

[hurlock1]

Whoa!!

Just who thinks who is running this site?  With Karol's help I make the decisions as to what goes on here at IHD. I am the closest anyone is going to get to owning this site and I have the right (like it or not) to decide. Epoman and I had a close bond and if anyone knows what he would have wanted for the future here at IHD I do.

With that said there is a shakedown happenning right now here at IHD. I have decided that this site is not worth all the crap that Karol and the Moderators are going through to keep it running.

If you truly want this site to continue than we need your support! No more gang up wars like the hood. I am starting with two bans today. With the promise of more to come.

The outcome is up to the members. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE AT IHD THEN LEAVE NOW!! Because if the bickering keeps going, you will be banned anyway. If you have a legitimate gripe feel free to email me and I will listen and make a decision. But the decision will be final. Like it or not. Yes I may change my mind if your ideas bring new views to the table. But then we have to live with the decisions I make with no coming back to public forum and trying to sway public opinion.  This is a privately owned site and will remain that way for those who need it.

Lets get back to helping those who need IHD and lets have fun doing it.

Sluff/Admin

Sluff,
I didn't actually realize that anyone was "running the show". It's kind of like "America! Love it or leave it". So, this, being Your SHOW, there is no sense in trying to make it better, or more fair. I can't complain about Rerun who has been blatantly rude to me several times for fear of getting "banned" I could get "banned" for this letter. "Like it the way it is! This is my site!" This IS a good resource for dialysis patients. In the beginning I really thought that this forum was what it claimed itself to be. Guess I was wrong. . .Never mind
jmz

[hurlock1]

I was a "Professional" for 20 years and know how to act when I'm being paid to take crap from people.

I ain't getting paid!       

Seriously what is that attidude? Being a moderator doesn't mean godlike using silly symbols, certainly not a 48 year old woman would do. You should be ashamed of yourself. I'm sorry do we even care about your professional ? If you care about money I suggest you should go to other forum that people would pay you, for acting in that attidude. If they pay you, well congraz to them. We lose one highly experienced woman but we gain respect from every member.

P.s This is my own opinion with regards to that post only.

Anyone agree to evaluate the current moderators? We are people and rules are made by human. Repect is for people to gain or lose like credits.

I suggest a ban/warn system plus making rules, that people commited it gets warn then ban.

We don't get to evaluate the moderators. "This ain't no party, this ain't no disco" This is their site. If you don't agree you will get banned, or you can just go on down the road. It's plain in the "Whoa" post by Sluff, the owner of the site. Sometimes people with a legitimate complaint can get banned just because they didn't agree with the way that they have been being treated and politely said so. I expect to get banned and I just want to be treated with the same courtesy and respect as anyone else.
For the most part, the administrators are reasonable, but don't cross their ways. It may be that IHD is all that occurs in their life and they are holding on to it with a strong grip.
jmz

[okarol]

James,
Are you volunteering to be a moderator?

[Ladystardust24]

I have tried to stayed out of this thread but I have to give my    I think all this has gone a little too far with people included a moderator saying rude things to other members. We all have our bad days and say things we are sorry for after. Whether or not we are being paid we still need to act responsibly and not be rude to other people.  All people need to be treated with respect and ALL people need to follow the rules and not be rude to others.  Just my 

Well I'm relatively new to IHD, And I think I've met many very nice and kind people.. But somehow got sucked into all this odd drama. I personally highly dislike drama. I very much agree with Del here. This is a forum of supporting one another,And right now we aren't doing a great job. We don't always have to agree with another person, we don't even have to like someone. But we do have our illness in common. We have similar issues to deal with. I agree that maybe Mr.Dan's post would have been helpful to someone else.. But it was his words to delete, and I do agree, if moderators want to be able to control what gets deleted and what does not...then why not just remove the delete option. I think it's important that many people were hurt all around with all this stuff, I think maybe this won't be something they can get over. I also truly people in people being able to express their opinion freely without the fear of being "banned". I believe unless someone really harassed someone else, they should not be "Banned" for just disagreeing or having opinions other than a moderators. Why can't we respect everyone's personal opinion? I think we need to support each other not hurt each other. I know some people might think that thats just "too simple" and "unreal", well I know what I was taught. "agree to disagree" Lets agree that even though we all have kidney disease, we are still different people, with different personalities. So why not share what we personally have to offer. This whole thing has gotten out of hand. I really hope people just learn to get along. Lets hope that people will get over all this stuff, and just go back to enjoying different peoples view and opinions. I know personally, I wish to get along with many of you, and hope to get to know people and maybe even become friends? Who knows?! 

Happy friday all.

[okarol]

The ban was not for one thing. It was for many reasons and we are not going to air member's dirty laundry here. And it was NOT just for expressing themselves. On our front page it says: "Epoman started ihatedialysis.com to stop having his posts censored or deleted by corporate run or sponsored dialysis sites. He created the site so others could have a voice on the internet free from censorship." We hold this ideal in high esteem.
Some decisions are tough to make especially when it comes to banning someone. In the last 3 years there have only been 4 people banned, 2 of which were temporarily banned, allowed to come back, but continued to break the rules, of which we have very few.
Most member's I have heard from have been very supportive, and I appreciate the support. Thank you.

okarol/admin

[willowtreewren]

In the last 3 years there have only been 4 people banned, 2 of which were temporarily banned, allowed to come back, but continued to break the rules, of which we have very few.

My count is slightly different: Angie, Sandman, Shay, Lightlizard, The Wife, Dan and Petey.

If you are counting Dan as one who was allowed to come back and continued to break the rules, he was banned for life during his 2 week ban so he was not allowed to come back and continued to break the rules. To be sure, though, I don't know if he is part of that count as no names were named. 

[paris]

In the last 3 years there have only been 4 people banned, 2 of which were temporarily banned, allowed to come back, but continued to break the rules, of which we have very few.

My count is slightly different: Angie, Sandman, Shay, Lightlizard, The Wife, Dan and Petey. 

That would make the percentage of members banned 0.15.  Not 15%---not even 1% -- just a little more than .1%.   Very low number.   Members are valued and not tossed out randomly.  Much thought is given to every situation.  I think most members are happy with the site and how it is run.  My son owns an autocross forum. He pays the host company, he runs the site, he sets the rules.  If people don't like the rules, he has every right to ask them to leave.      Now is the time to move forward and get back to helping one another.     Thanks to all who have posted or sent pm's of support.  It is greatly appreciated.

[okarol]

In the last 3 years there have only been 4 people banned, 2 of which were temporarily banned, allowed to come back, but continued to break the rules, of which we have very few.

My count is slightly different: Angie, Sandman, Shay, Lightlizard, The Wife, Dan and Petey.

If you are counting Dan as one who was allowed to come back and continued to break the rules, he was banned for life during his 2 week ban so he was not allowed to come back and continued to break the rules. To be sure, though, I don't know if he is part of that count as no names were named.

Hmmm You were looking for The Wife just the other day... I remember the thread you started.. "Where is The Wife?" You and petey were reminiscing...

As for the 3 years - I was referring to the years since Bill passed away. So 4 people in the last 2 years and 11 1/2 months. My mistake.

If you want to discuss this further, please PM me. Thanks.

okarol/admin

[cariad]

Dan went ballistic when I questioned his comments at one point, on a topic sensitive to many of us, live donors. I truly value the people that he calls friends here on IHD, but felt really alienated from this forum when he blew up at me and everyone seemed to be pretending that nothing had happened. The one person who really listened to me during that incident was Karol. I wouldn't still be participating here if she had not written me the emails that she did. I thank her for that.

I appreciate the moderation here. Like Richard and others have suggested, this site without moderation would be insufferable. Following a few rules that apply to everyone is easy. I feel far more censored by having an individual who expects special consideration for his struggles, and who makes it not worth the effort and aggravation to enter into a conversation with him. There are comments that I wanted to make to Dan, even suggestions I wanted to make, but more often than not I decided it was not worth the risk of setting him off again.

That being said, I don't agree with the idea of a lifetime ban simply because people can and do learn and change, and forums evolve. However, I respect the fact that the admins do not want to discuss this on the forum, so I will let it go at that.

Thanks Karol, Sluff, and moderators for this site.

[hurlock1]

Well said, Richard!!!!!

Ditto!
jmz

[aharris2]

Being a moderator may be the only important thing a person can do. It could be their entire persona.

It may be that IHD is all that occurs in their life and they are holding on to it with a strong grip.

What is up with this??? Do you read the forums?

There is something that needs to be understood:
Our administrators are members of IHD just like the rest of us.
They are affected by kidney disease, just like the rest of us.
They have the spectre of kidney failure looming ahead, just like the rest of us.
They are dealing with dialysis and the sometimes devastating impact it has had on their lives, just like the rest of us.

They are caring for family members, fighting the good fight, trying to beat back the monster that kidney disease is, just like the rest of us.
In spite of the challenges presented by kidney disease, they try to maintain some normalcy in their lives, just like the rest of us.

On top of all of this, these members stepped up to the plate when Epoman asked for assistance in managing his site. (Only two or three were appointed after we lost Epoman.) To this day, they give of themselves, maintaining Epoman's legacy - this site, which is so important to so many of us.

Members, just like us.
Who decided to declare war on these members? War? You have got to be kidding! On the contrary, I thank these members for the efforts they put forth to maintain this site as Epoman wanted it.

[Chris]

I would like to add something about the admins & mods, but I am not eloquent in writing.I may not fully understand what has hapened, butI will stand by them. We do not know what has hapened in the background, but whatever had happened was done for a reason.

[lola]

I try to stay out of the "drama" but I need to say #1 when do we ever agree with everything people in charge do or have to say? There are rules for a reason and our Mods do a great job trying to keep this site going the way Bill had intended if he was still here, the people who have been banned still would have been banned. #2 I don't think people realize how much off the site they do to help us out(phone calls checking in on people and so on) #3 I almost cried when I saw who started this post as it was a member I cared deeply for who was attacked and left and has stayed away so CINDY miss you girlfriend...luv ya all