You have got to be kidding!!!!!

[Lucinda]

I am going say this because it doesn't matter if I get banned because I don't come into the forum anymore anyhow.  I am absolutely astounded that the first post I read after not being here for some time was so out of control.  The admin team on this site do an extraordinary job and if it wasn't for them there would be no site at all.  Bill would be disgusted with some of the behaviour here.

For the record I left this site because of the absolutely disgusting PM sent to me by dwcrawford.  For him to be so obviously agrieved by the harmless PM, which by the way should never have been repeated on an open forum, is the height of hiprocracy.  He may be depressed at the moment but I was in a very bad place when he sent me a PM that was extremely degrading and spitful.

There are some terrific people on this site and Karol and Kit are at the top of the list as far as I am concerned.  Everyone on this site is battling with this disease and some cope with it better than others.  When I was in a bad place I was bullied by the very person who now expects sympathy for his woes.  Kit's PM was harmless.....get over it.


EDITED: Moved to proper section: Site Requests, Comments, Technical Help - okarol/admin

[tyefly]

I realize that there are two sides to each story.....   But I will have to agree with Lucinda on this noe....  the thread did get out of control by all parties.....  I would hope that we could do better than that.....  REally this is just a public forum......and people need to resect each other and not go there......  its a bad practice.....  The Admin had to take place.... and needs to be respected.  We might not always agree but we should be able to live with one another on here..... 

Here's to better and brighter Day here on IHD.....

[Hanify]

I would like to comment but I am afraid that in doing so I would somehow criticise a moderator and get banned.  I have not recently been in a place with adults where we are not 'allowed' to disagree with those in higher positions.  Lucinda, I am sorry your feelings were hurt by Dan - but this should not mean that I end up feeling that I am unable to speak my mind.  I love IHD and have many many good friends here but I WILL NOT sit back and say nothing when I think an injustice has been done.  I will agree to disagree - sure - but I won't say nothing. 

[petey]

I would like to comment but I am afraid that in doing so I would somehow criticise a moderator and get banned.  I have not recently been in a place with adults where we are not 'allowed' to disagree with those in higher positions.  Lucinda, I am sorry your feelings were hurt by Dan - but this should not mean that I end up feeling that I am unable to speak my mind.  I love IHD and have many many good friends here but I WILL NOT sit back and say nothing when I think an injustice has been done.  I will agree to disagree - sure - but I won't say nothing. 

I'm with Hanify 100%.  I "ditto" everything she said above.

[okarol]

I would like to comment but I am afraid that in doing so I would somehow criticise a moderator and get banned.  I have not recently been in a place with adults where we are not 'allowed' to disagree with those in higher positions.  Lucinda, I am sorry your feelings were hurt by Dan - but this should not mean that I end up feeling that I am unable to speak my mind.  I love IHD and have many many good friends here but I WILL NOT sit back and say nothing when I think an injustice has been done.  I will agree to disagree - sure - but I won't say nothing. 

I'm with Hanify 100%.  I "ditto" everything she said above.

Hanify and petey,
There are many instances that have taken place behind the scenes that go beyond a member just disagreeing. It is harassment. It's not merely that members "are not 'allowed' to disagree with those in higher positions" but it is a pattern of disrespect and attacks. The admin makes decision based on many things, and choosing not to publicly air this person's dirty laundry is our choice. If you don't have faith in our decisions you are welcome to find another support forum where you feel more connected.

okarol/admin

[petey]

Karol,
Thank you for the offer for me to go somewhere else; that has been mentioned to me before (is that a nice way of saying you don't want me at IHD anymore?).  And, I'm sure you're right -- Dan undoubtedly was banned because he had a pattern of harassment, disrespect, and attacks on the mods/admins, just as I'm sure I did when I was banned in October.  What can I say? We're just naughty children, I guess, and I do appreciate all you and the others do to keep us in line.

Do you think it would help if you posted a list of all the offenses that could get a member banned?  (I'm sure it's posted on the site somewhere, but a "refresher" wouldn't hurt, now would it?) That way, we would all be reminded of how we are supposed to behave and have no excuses (because we had been told again) when we are banned.  Just a thought.


(P.S. There is no disrespect intended here, and I hope I don't get banned because of this post.)

[glitter]

I think.... (not singleing out a soul) as long as this is even a subject- it weakens the effectiveness of this site.

why would anyone want to do that?

 and for those of you who 'feel the need to stand up for injustice' this isn't a democracy- its a kingdom- and that is EXACTLY how Epoman wanted it. and yes- I knew him too. His way- his rules- trust who he trusted to carry it on. period.

[KICKSTART]

SIGH ....one thread has been locked because of all this , come on guys , let it go. Its spoiling the atmosphere on the forum !

[Hanify]

SIGH ....one thread has been locked because of all this , come on guys , let it go. Its spoiling the atmosphere on the forum !

So true Kickstart - it really does.  I've decided it comes down to this for me - I think I just don't believe banning is the right way to go...ever!  I feel the same way about suspending children from school - I believe the issues should be worked through with the person and that banning (or suspending or expelling in the school environment) is inappropraite and has the opposite effect to what is intended.

So anyway, as has been pointed out, it's not my site, and not my rules, so I either like it or lump it.  I would have liked to have thought that maybe the moderators and admins would think about whether or not the 'rules' are actually appropriate anymore though,  Just because that's how Epoman set it up - does it have to continue?  What if more people on here were not happy about it?  Are you happy for people to just leave over and over and over?

[Joe Paul]

I believe Epoman chose the Admins he did, to keep this site as he set it up, RULES and all. Like Karol said, if some people are un happy with the way this site has been since day 1, there are other forums to visit, or better yet, you can start a site, and rule it the way you'd see fit. Please don't take offense to what Ive said, this is only my point of view.

[Rerun]

I feel the same way about suspending children from school - I believe the issues should be worked through with the person and that banning (or suspending or expelling in the school environment) is inappropraite and has the opposite effect to what is intended.

So anyway, as has been pointed out, it's not my site, and not my rules, so I either like it or lump it.  I would have liked to have thought that maybe the moderators and admins would think about whether or not the 'rules' are actually appropriate anymore though,  Just because that's how Epoman set it up - does it have to continue?  What if more people on here were not happy about it?  Are you happy for people to just leave over and over and over?

See how ya are?  It is just never enough!  Maybe we should play survivor and vote people off the site! 

In Epoman's memory I'd ban you if I could.  But, I don't have the power

[Malibu]

I'll throw my two cents in:  The moderators are sometimes rude.  I don't have any idea what any of the above posts are about and I didn't see what the subject of this post is about but perhaps this rudeness is part of the problem.    I know I have been victim to a moderators rudeness.   You know who you are.

[Rerun]

Rude is commenting without reading the entire thread.  How can you comment when you don't know what you are even talking about. 

[willowtreewren]

Malibu,
I understand what you were saying. Reading the entire thread would not have given you any information about what started this conversation.

Having been in a professional position for almost all of my adult life, I have learned that when in a position of authority (such as being a moderator), it is of utmost importance to maintain professionalism as part of that position.

While everyone has issues from time to time, rude behavior on the part of a moderator does not lend itself to a sense of professionalism in regard to the site.

Aleta

[Rerun]

I was a "Professional" for 20 years and know how to act when I'm being paid to take crap from people.

I ain't getting paid!       

[petey]

See how ya are?  It is just never enough!  Maybe we should play survivor and vote people off the site! 

Be careful what you wish for, Rerun!  You might be the first one voted off if we did that!   

[kitkatz]

I am going say this because it doesn't matter if I get banned because I don't come into the forum anymore anyhow.  I am absolutely astounded that the first post I read after not being here for some time was so out of control.  The admin team on this site do an extraordinary job and if it wasn't for them there would be no site at all.  Bill would be disgusted with some of the behaviour here.

For the record I left this site because of the absolutely disgusting PM sent to me by dwcrawford.  For him to be so obviously agrieved by the harmless PM, which by the way should never have been repeated on an open forum, is the height of hiprocracy.  He may be depressed at the moment but I was in a very bad place when he sent me a PM that was extremely degrading and spitful.

There are some terrific people on this site and Karol and Kit are at the top of the list as far as I am concerned.  Everyone on this site is battling with this disease and some cope with it better than others.  When I was in a bad place I was bullied by the very person who now expects sympathy for his woes.  Kit's PM was harmless.....get over it.

Thank you for your support Lucinda.

[Rerun]

See how ya are?  It is just never enough!  Maybe we should play survivor and vote people off the site! 

Be careful what you wish for, Rerun!  You might be the first one voted off if we did that!   

Bring it on Pete.

[petey]

See how ya are?  It is just never enough!  Maybe we should play survivor and vote people off the site! 

Be careful what you wish for, Rerun!  You might be the first one voted off if we did that!   

Bring it on Pete.

                                                                                

[Rerun]

                             
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbNyeyzHkrA

Sorry, we are not supposed to use links, but this is funny.   

[Jenabcd]

Everybody, whether right or wrong, needs someone who "has our back".  I'm sure that Dan is appreciative and thanks you for that.  Are you saying though, that because he was having a bad day,  the rudeness and disrespect should be overlooked?  How many people are at this site? Whether we are the caregiver or the patient, (my husbands life is affected as much as mine), I'm assuming that the majority of us have had and/or do have bad days.  If one of us is allowed to be disrespectful, that should give every one of us that right, correct?  Then what happens here?  It seemed that kitkatz and Okarol were being kind in their posts, telling him that his posts help others, so please don't delete them, because it also makes it so that the thread isn't understood of some of the posts are deleted.  Okarol said that she had a friend who suffers depression and knows that it's difficult...all kind words.  Dan decided to bring a private message (with no harsh words in it) to the public, and complain about it.  That was disrespectful, and obviously other things were said that we don't know about.  Yes, it IS like school and getting in trouble.  If we are brought up right, we learn as children, that what mom & dad say, is what goes.  If not, there are consequences. We learn that as children, because we need to know that as an adult...  from school (elementary thru advanced education), to our work world, be it a big company or a small business; there is a chain of command. If not, things go haywire.  The mods here seem to have a thankless and payless job, and I believe that they do their best.  If one person is allowed to be disrespectful (behind the scenes or out here in public) that gives all of us that right, and it will never work.    (Sorry for the length here)

[Maxridex]

I was a "Professional" for 20 years and know how to act when I'm being paid to take crap from people.

I ain't getting paid!       

Seriously what is that attidude? Being a moderator doesn't mean godlike using silly symbols, certainly not a 48 year old woman would do. You should be ashamed of yourself. I'm sorry do we even care about your professional ? If you care about money I suggest you should go to other forum that people would pay you, for acting in that attidude. If they pay you, well congraz to them. We lose one highly experienced woman but we gain respect from every member.

P.s This is my own opinion with regards to that post only.

Anyone agree to evaluate the current moderators? We are people and rules are made by human. Repect is for people to gain or lose like credits.

I suggest a ban/warn system plus making rules, that people commited it gets warn then ban.

[Malibu]

Rerun, there you go again being rude.  It shows friend......that you were the one since you obviously knew it was you I was talking about.

I DID read the entire thread before I posted, it DOES NOT SAY WHAT YOU ALL ARE TALKING ABOUT.  Did YOU read it? Two finger solute.  My Friend.  I think I've dealt with your kind of Professionalism too much in my life and I am sick and tired of you being rude.  Mean people suck.  And life is too short for me to deal with your kind.

[del]

I have tried to stayed out of this thread but I have to give my    I think all this has gone a little too far with people included a moderator saying rude things to other members. We all have our bad days and say things we are sorry for after. Whether or not we are being paid we still need to act responsibly and not be rude to other people.  All people need to be treated with respect and ALL people need to follow the rules and not be rude to others.  Just my 

[hurlock1]

Like it or not, there has to be some sort of moderation. People are both adults and children at any given time. Moderators that have "opinions" are almost useless. I found that moderators, in general, are just people like anyone. Whoever gives them the job of being "moderators" is a person. The truth is, everybody has to put their pants on one leg at a time. (except me, I've devised a way to put my pants on both legs at the same time) Being a moderator may be the only important thing a person can do. It could be their entire persona.
I have quit coming to IHD as much, because of certain moderators. I don't have to say who. I don't like being controlled by rude people. I don't have to be rude to get my point across.
I think that the rudest thing is to have moderators move topics to the back burner (Some place else) because they (he, she, it) just don't like the content of the post. For instance This Topic.