Discouraged

[Tinah1968]

Once again it is one of thoes days that I get discouraged. I had been feeling good the past few days and of course it never last longer then that. yet today I woke up in so much pain that i actually want to leave work. (But I won't since it actually helps keep my mind elsewhere).  Yet I still get and feel discouraged knowing that it is almost time for Dialysis. I have been able to hold it off fo a year but, the pains the leg crams and the tired feeling I get on days like this really just gets me down. I am just not in a happy place right now and I sure wish I could be... Sorry guys just letting out some emotions. 

[Sluff]

We understand Tinah, that is why we are here.  Vent all you want. Hope you feel better soon. Many members have said how much better they feel after starting dialysis.

[cherpep]

I'm so sorry you aren't feeling great.  The leg cramps and exhaustion are, for me, the worst part of this disease.  Good for you for staying at work and trying not to think about it.  It's not easy to do.  There are days when I just want to crawl under my desk, but you are right - keeping working does help a little.  I wish I could tell you that it will all go away once you start dialysis - but I cannot.  Once I started dialysis, I did feel a bit better - got some relief that I never had before.  I still feel tired, and still get leg cramps, though - just not constantly.  You keep venting all you want - we understand what you are feeling.  I'm sending many hugs your way.   

[monrein]

Sorry you're having such a tough time.   

[paul.karen]

Im right there with you Tinah
Predialysis at work and feeling cruddy.
But at least we are getting paid to feel like @&%*...
As for the leg cramps my neph gave me some pills that work well.  When i get home i will post what they are called.  Little red gel type.

[Tinah1968]

Thanks everyone for the support it is just one of them days.... So I hope it passes Quickly... Paul.karen, That would be great if you can post the name of the pills for the cramps. i will have to ask my Dr about them. Just trying to makit it through today and hoping for a better tomorrow.

[twirl]

don't be sorry - we understand - we are here for you - I wish I was still in teaching - having a job helps - but it got to be too much -
you will feel better - the hardest part about dialysis for me was the four hours of being on the machine - but I used to grade papers for other teachers and the time passed quickly - not anymore - I guess the worst thng about dialysis was it took my teaching away -- today I am making tests for my husband's high school classes - apparently I make the tests harder than the book -- he threathen them with a test "from my wife'-
dreading dialysis takes a lot of emotions and time -- I have been there -- but you will get better and have more energy---- keep coming to us when you need to -- we understand
I am feeling sad for you so I think I am going to soak in a hot tub.
stay with us
we will help

[Chris]

Hope you feel better soon Tinah. I hate those leg cramps, I just now get them for not drinking enough and getting up from lying down is a pain when it strikes.

Good Luck

[Tinah1968]

Yeah Chris this morning it was hell getting up for work. becasue I had the cramps in both legs at the same time... It was awful.. Like I said I am hoping for a better tomorrow..

[peleroja]

Sending you warm fuzzies and lots of healing white light.  Hope you feel better soon.

[Chris]

You did get some sleep right? I know you were in chat last night, but memory is fuzzy when you left. I remember that you had to be at work at 3 am. Hopefully some rest will help also

[2_DallasCowboys]

Dear tinah,

So, so sorry you are not feeling OK  I am glad
that you have foun d  IHD  I think it is the very
best support for people or caregivers of this
damned kidey desease!

Sending you  from NJ,  I hope
you feel better!

Anne

[Tinah1968]

Yeah I was on chat for a little while. I finally fell asleep around 11:30 Central time and woke up at 3 to be at work by 5. Some days it just takes longer to get up and get ready so i get up pretty early to get myself together. :-) but, so far I am still getting up daily that to me is a start..  Thanks for all the hugs everyone

[TynyWonder]

Tinah,

I too, am sorry you are feeling down emotionally AND physically but I do want to tell you that for me, I got to feeling better not once I started dialysis but FINALLY when I did get a graft to work, THAT is when I started feeling better.  The docs and others kept telling me that once I got my catheter out and began to use my graft, I would feel alot better but me, dragging my feet, for fear of those damned needles, kept putting it off but now I look back and kinda wished I had listened sooner and had gotten a "working" graft sooner but oh well, we live and learn but I said all that to say, Tinah, it will get better in time and no one person can tell YOU when YOU will feel better, but it will come, it will come!      I also think it would have been worse on me, had I known beforehand, I was looking at going on dialysis so that maybe too, why you are having such a hard time because you feel or know it is coming.  I found out 1 day that I had kidney failure and 2 days later I was on dialysis, it was a RIDE, let me tell ya!    Anyways, just keep coming back here and posting and posting and posting someone is always hear to listen!   More   

[Lady Dee]

Once again it is one of thoes days that I get discouraged. I had been feeling good the past few days and of course it never last longer then that. yet today I woke up in so much pain that i actually want to leave work. (But I won't since it actually helps keep my mind elsewhere).  Yet I still get and feel discouraged knowing that it is almost time for Dialysis. I have been able to hold it off fo a year but, the pains the leg crams and the tired feeling I get on days like this really just gets me down. I am just not in a happy place right now and I sure wish I could be... Sorry guys just letting out some emotions. 

   

Know what it's like- been on dialysis 26 years, some good days, some bad. curse the bad, Thank God for the good Dialysis may improve how you feel?



EDITED:Fixed quote tag errors-kitkatz,Moderator

[kellyt]

Let it out, Girl!   

[sewerrat4u]

Hello Tinah, I've been on dialysis for seven months now,  I'm on PD , I remember being at work wanting to get away from people cause I was feeling like puking and I remember before dialysis how I was slowing down, walking shorter distances, running out of breath,
hard to walk up anystairs.... oh yeah   I felt that way too, and now I don't feel to bad. I have to do my therapy every night for 8 hrs, but I don't have to do any exchanges during the day. I'm glad to have found this site to share how I feel with others going thru the same thing....
  So I can feel for you ... I hope things get better for you soon .......

[paul.karen]

Tinah the medicine im on for leg cramps is Hectorol,  .5mcg


It has truly helped me.   


Sewerrat i have all the issues you mentioned.
I am also going to do PD.  Glad it is working well for you.

[kitkatz]

You know some days just suck and others are not so bad. Here is hoping the not so bad days are more than the days that suck! 

[TynyWonder]

You know some days just suck and others are not so bad. Here is hoping the not so bad days are more than the days that suck! 

   soooo true, Kit!!!!   

[kitkatz]

That will be my first greeting card!

[Joe Paul]

Tinah, sorry you've been feeling down. Talking about it does help, and lots of open ears here to help you along. Sending big hugs   

[Tinah1968]

Thanks again everyone... I had to make an appointment yesterday as this is probably the worst I have ever felt. The Pain is going straight up my right side and I can feel it in my rib cage... I know that he said my Kidney was enlarged but WOW... This is just making it hard on my back as I have to lean a certain way to not hurt so bad.. I don't know what else to do I refuse to take pain pills becasue when I do take them I am dragging at work and not able to function properly. And being in the finance department I can not afford to make any mistakes. I have to work so not coming in is not an option. Thanks for the Hugs and well wishes.

[drinkboy]

Sorry you're having so much pain right now.  My mom refused to take many pain pills too because they would knock her half way out, and she didn't like that. So she dealt with a lot of pain, like you are doing.  Hopefully, you and your doctors can find a happy medium but I know that isn't easy. 

Don't be afraid to vent or share anything..this is the place to do it.  Especially because there always seems to be someone that can offer some advice to help, but we all can offer our best wishes.

[Tinah1968]

Well I am sure that we all have good days and bad days... Just trying to make it through til tomorrow as that is when they had an appointment available. So I just have to work through it til then.