not again, God, please

[twirl]

thank you
and she is almost 2
and she adores me
she still has to go to a kidney child doctor
there is not immediate rush
but she does have PKD
Stasie is having her second child in a few months
do you know that her mother-in-law is mad at me for handing down this God awful disease to "her" grandchildren
as if, my twin and older sister did not get PKD
so now I am God and I decide?

[Romona]

  People are cruel and heartless sometimes. What if it was the other way around. You would not blame anyone. 






EDITED:Fixed smiley tag error-kitkatz,moderator

[cris]

so decreed.... the mother-in law mst have PKD
forgive me.
all good thoghts and God's blessings to Trasie.

[twirl]

thank you and I really do feel better

[rose1999]

Twirl, please believe THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT (yes I am shouting  ). I'm so annoyed with anyone who tries to place blame all the time, that's where all this world is so wrong.  We can't do anything now in case someone blames us (and probably sues us) we need to accept that sh*t happens, no-one is to blame in a lot of cases and in those cases where they are, well what good is blame going to do? Will it make things better? NO. 

Sorry Twirl but I am so annoyed to think that people have been getting at you - let those without sin cast the first stone eh!!  And I hope things will go OK for you and your lovely family. 

[twirl]

stasie is pregnant again with her 2nd child, it was a surprise
I went with her today for a sonogram - she is in her 7th month and he is a boy, Scott Allen
the sonogram showed his kidneys are prominent - usually it is hard to pick out the kidneys but his are very obvious
we are going to a specialist in Clear Lake for a more in dep sonogram
PKD again
Trasie, her other child has a cyst on one of her kidneys
I felt so horrible when Stasie was sitting on the table being told this with tears running down her eyes
Trasie can wait until she is older for a better look at her kidneys (Trasie will be 2 in sept)
I can't help but feel guilty but I love my children so much and maybe I was selfish in wanting children
I told my son-in-law that I was so sorry- he is not blaming me
OMG and what will Stauffenberg comment
   I am so sorry

[monrein]

Twirl, please take this to heart.  Love is useful in a situation like this.  Guilt is not.  Guilt that can change nothing is a thief.  Don't let it rob you or those kiddies.  Please don't.  Your son-in-law has it right.

[Sluff]

Prayers are in order. 

[pelagia]

Twirl,  When I was 5 months pregnant with my son, I had a blood test done and they thought he might have Down's Syndrome.  I had to undergo amniocentesis and a state-of-the-art (at that time) sonogram.  My son did not have Down's Syndrome, but they told me that he had unusually large kidneys.  He is now 17. I don't think there was a blood test for PKD at the time.  I do not know if he has PKD, but so far he has no sign of it.  He is a joy in my life.   I know some of what you are feeling.  I do.  Please focus on loving your grandkids.  That's the most productive way to use your energy.   

[jbeany]

 

[MIbarra]

Twirl, we are all here for a reason, whether we face illlness or not.

If some doctor would have let my mother know ahead of time that I would have kidney disease and she had a choice to have me or not, I would hope that she would have chose to have me. Regardless of this disease I have, I enjoy life and am very glad to be here on this earth.

You and your family are in my prayers!   

[glitter]

Twirl- there are lot of opinions on this subject- and not one of them matter in the face of your so very real pain. 
I think Monrein said it so right,

Love is useful in a situation like this.  Guilt is not.  Guilt that can change nothing is a thief.  Don't let it rob you or those kiddies.

[stauffenberg]

I have to disagree with Monrein on this one.  The question for humanity is not what is useful, but what is just.  If justice requires that you blame yourself, then the fact that self-blame is not 'useful' and is a 'thief' of happiness has nothing to do with how you should feel.  Should Adolph Eichman go whistling happily down the street because doting on Auschwitz couldn't fix anything at this point?  Since we are not animals but people, our duty is not just to arrange our thoughts so that we feel happy, but is to meet the challenge of judging our behavior ethically and then to live with the responsibility.

[rose1999]

Come on now what good is guilt and anyway who is to dictate what we should feel guilty about?  We are all going to die one way or another ergo we shouldn't be born.  Well I'm fed up of that attitude, we ARE here and we must do all we can to make life better for each other not try to place blame.  Twirl what has happened has happened, guilt won't help but support and love for your family will.  So ditch the guilt and dish the love 
One life - live it!

[okarol]

twirl,

Could you be a mom and not have guilt? I have it over every choice I made ever, because I think maybe I could have done better with my kids.

The news about the baby sucks. I am so sorry. But if it were me I would try to help however I can. Taking blame is not as effective as helping your daughter cope, supporting your son-in-law, giving hugs and hanging tough.

There are some good views expressed here. Take what you need and discard the rest.

love you twirly.

[kitkatz]

Hey Twirly.  Being a Mom or an auntie or anyone on this crazy planet means we are in for guilt.  It come with the territory.  Especially the woman side of life.  There is guilt for having kids, guilt for not having kids, guilt staying home,guilt going to work. On and on and on.   

Love you for who you are and the wonderful life and contributions you have made!

[spacezombie]

Twirl, please take this to heart.  Love is useful in a situation like this.  Guilt is not.  Guilt that can change nothing is a thief.  Don't let it rob you or those kiddies.  Please don't.  Your son-in-law has it right.

This is really good advice. There is nothing you can do about what has already happened and there was no way for you to know how things would turn out. Love the people in your life and let go fo the guilt. And ignore Stauffenberg.

[twirl]

my daughter and her husband had the sonogram done Wed in Clear Lake City
it was very detailed and so far while the kidneys are larger than usual but everything looks okay
we will do this again in about three weeks
the baby is gaining weight
and Stasie's fluid level is normal now----- was low, which can indicate kidney problems in the baby
thank you for your prayers
and please do not forget us

[pelagia]

This is very good news, Twirl.

I am jealous because you are a already a Grandma!  I think I have to wait awhile.  Mine is 17 and hasn't even had a serious girlfiend yet!

[paris]

We will continue to hold all of you in our prayers.  Glad this sonogram went ok.  

And Kitkatz is right--women will always have guilt. She said it perfectly!  But, I really like Monrein's advice about guilt changing nothing.  We are here for you

[monrein]

Twirl, I'm thinking of you and your daughter's family every day and putting all of my good thoughts towards that developing baby.  I hope you know we couldn't ever forget you.

[MIbarra]

Hope the news just gets better and better! You're in my thoughts and prayers, Twirl!   

[okarol]

Thanks for the update. I pray she's ok, and the baby too.

[rose1999]

I won't forget about you or your dear family Twirl. 

[willieandwinnie]

Hey twirl. Just wanted to give you a big old  and tell you I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.