Ignorant things people have said to you

[skyedogrocks]

Rob's family steams me when it comes to talking about his condition.  His mother is still confused as to what he can eat.  I gave her a list of foods he can't eat last year and she still asks me if he still can't eat cheese. Duh, no he can't. 

So for Easter this year, she was all distraught because Rob can't eat ham.  She was thinking of having a ham and turkey breast.  Ok, lady, you know ham is your son's favorite food, why the hell would you make one, have everyone eat it and then give him turkey?  I also told her he can't have potatoes, that plain white rice is the best.  She gets brown rice and makes a huge batch of mashed potatoes.  I could see if there were a ton of people at her house for the holidays, but it's just them, us and his sister, her hubby and son.  Not a heck of a lot of people.  I think they can handle not having ham & potatoes for one freaking day!

His Dad actually had the gall to say to us that we have no idea what his mother goes through trying to plan a meal for him, it's very hard on her.  Are you freaking kidding me?  I said to him, try being the one with the disease, then get back to us.  I said you have no idea what your son is going through.  Planning a meal every now and then is nothing compared to being the one with it or living with it.

It's a wonder why they don't like me very much 

[larry781]

Stupid, inconsiderate and downright hostile things people have said to me: (and the responses
 I wish I had given)

"I pray for you!"
(Really? It doesn't seem to be working. Are you sure you didn't piss off God somehow?)

(on seeing my access) Are you a heroin addict?
(No, I'm high on life, and epogen!)

You should really try (the name of some stupid home remedy or over the counter product). It works wonders!
(Really? and to think, I could have escaped 5 years of dialysis if I had just spent $10 at my corner drugstore!)

(said to me by someone sitting next to me at a meeting)Er, your disease isn't contagious, is it?
(It is, but only when when I'm careless around others with my Swiss Army knife)

I wish I could give you one of my kidneys!
(I wish I could give you some of my brain)

You know, you could actually buy yourself a kidney in India!
(I wish I could buy you a conscience in the USA)

You know (the name of some celebrity) had bad Kidneys...
(Oh good! I'm a cause celeb! What color is our ribbon?)

Larry from Long Island

[Chicken Little]

You should really try (the name of some stupid home remedy or over the counter product). It works wonders!
(Really? and to think, I could have escaped 5 years of dialysis if I had just spent $10 at my corner drugstore!)

I really hate this too.  I have several acquaintances that constantly send me information on homeopathic cures and are offended when I explain that herbs can't regenerate organs.   

[lola]

Today the lab tech asked if Dani's anemia was from her not getting enough Iron in her diet wtf, when I told her it's from kidney failure she put her hand on Dani's and said "you poor thing you sure are going through alot."  I know she was trying to be nice but it's none of her business why Dani has anemia.

[angela515]

I feel you lola... when people used to ask me as a child, it was annoying... I grew used to it realizing they are just interested in whats going on is all. 

[kellyt]

Even though I was diagnosed in the early 90's I am really just starting the hard part of this long journey.  I haven't been placed on food restrictions yet, nor fluid.  I've just been instructed on moderation, etc.  In the last few weeks, since being told I had to get my fistula and since getting my fistula, I've had a couple of people (friends) say "I knew you had kidney problems, but I thought you were over it.  You don't sound/look sick".  Who goes to a specialist for 15 years with just a "kidney infection"?   I guess I should get used to it. 

[Jill D.]

Since my transplant, I have had many people ask "do you still have to do dialysis?" To which I tell them that dialysis is not necessary if a person has a functioning kidney.

I also have been asked "does your other kidney still work?" I remind them that a person can live on one kidney and if either one of my kidneys worked I would not have needed one of my sister's kidneys. Why would I leave her with one just so I could have two?

Most of the time I don't feel these are ignorant questions, it's just that people have NO IDEA what kidneys do or much about kidney disease. I am more than happy to enlighten them!

[angela515]

Since my transplant, I have had many people ask "do you still have to do dialysis?" To which I tell them that dialysis is not necessary if a person has a functioning kidney.

I also have been asked "does your other kidney still work?" I remind them that a person can live on one kidney and if either one of my kidneys worked I would not have needed one of my sister's kidneys. Why would I leave her with one just so I could have two?

Most of the time I don't feel these are ignorant questions, it's just that people have NO IDEA what kidneys do or much about kidney disease. I am more than happy to enlighten them!

I agree with you Jill... I get these same questions (among others), and even from NURSES, geesh. I agree, we need to enlighten them and educate them.

[ssticker]

There are things known
and things unknown
and in between
are the doors

Jim Morrison

open ONE every day of your life
DC

[Zach]

There are things known
and things unknown
and in between
are the doors

Jim Morrison

open ONE every day of your life
DC

I hear ya, man.  I hear ya.
 

[KT0930]

You should really try (the name of some stupid home remedy or over the counter product). It works wonders!

I get asked this about my son's ADHD all the time. Damn it pisses me off!

The winner on the kidney disease, though was from my boss (who's normally pretty on top of it, he just says the first thing that comes to his mind)...a woman who works for our company but lives out of state was just diagnosed last weekend with kidney failure, guess who got to tell the boss? The one who knows the most about it, of course. His first question was: "Is she going to die?"    I sure wish I could revisit that conversation and really educate him about it, but I was just so taken aback that all I could say is, "no, she can do dialysis". 

[paddbear0000]

I had passed out about 2 and a half years ago from super low blood sugar. I woke up to find 3 EMT's standing over me. One of them, my husband later informed me, had started yelling him and blaming HIM for my blood sugar crashing! Yes, my husband can telepathically remove the sugar from my blood! He likes to see me passed out on the floor! 

[Adam_W]

I can't remember if I've mentioned this elsewhere, but I think the most "ignorant" thing someone has said to me was one time when I went to a convenience store to get some stuff. The cashier asked me how I was doing, and I said I was feeling kind of bad because I had a rough dialysis treatment (I was in-centre at the time). She looked straight at me, with a perfectly normal expression on her face, and said "I could never do dialysis, I hate water" WTF, I still have NO clue where she came up with that. Hmmm, "underwater dialysis".

Adam

[okarol]

I can't remember if I've mentioned this elsewhere, but I think the most "ignorant" thing someone has said to me was one time when I went to a convenience store to get some stuff. The cashier asked me how I was doing, and I said I was feeling kind of bad because I had a rough dialysis treatment (I was in-centre at the time). She looked straight at me, with a perfectly normal expression on her face, and said "I could never do dialysis, I hate water" WTF, I still have NO clue where she came up with that. Hmmm, "underwater dialysis".

Adam

  Maybe she thought you said scuba diving?

[KT0930]

I can't remember if I've mentioned this elsewhere, but I think the most "ignorant" thing someone has said to me was one time when I went to a convenience store to get some stuff. The cashier asked me how I was doing, and I said I was feeling kind of bad because I had a rough dialysis treatment (I was in-centre at the time). She looked straight at me, with a perfectly normal expression on her face, and said "I could never do dialysis, I hate water" WTF, I still have NO clue where she came up with that. Hmmm, "underwater dialysis".

Adam

WTF?? I'm going to wondering about that all day, thanks a lot, Adam!! LOL.

[paddbear0000]

I can't remember if I've mentioned this elsewhere, but I think the most "ignorant" thing someone has said to me was one time when I went to a convenience store to get some stuff. The cashier asked me how I was doing, and I said I was feeling kind of bad because I had a rough dialysis treatment (I was in-centre at the time). She looked straight at me, with a perfectly normal expression on her face, and said "I could never do dialysis, I hate water" WTF, I still have NO clue where she came up with that. Hmmm, "underwater dialysis".

Adam

Yeah, I've been trying to figure out what word related to water sounds like dialysis since yesterday. I got nothing!   

[Adam_W]

Naturally when it was too late, I figured I should have asked her what she meant by that comment. I haven't seen her at the store since, so that may forever be a mystery.

Adam

[George Jung]

So this is sad.  I am sitting in the chair (at dialysis) and I overhear a conversation next  me between a new patient and a nurse.  The nurse is inquiring about an intention to receive a transplant which the lady replies, "well I'm not sure, I thought dialysis would make me better."

I realize that this may have been a sudden onset but did nobody discuss anything with her in the hospital, surely she had to spend a day or so there before winding up in a unit.

[LightLizard]

on another site, a message board i had been frquenting since 2001, after diagnosis and treatment had begun for me, i was sharing my experience when certain individuals decided to inform me that my condition was due to wrong thinking.
another, rather bent person told me that he was going to put a curse on me, and he still continues to post a countdown to Oct 31, when, he says his 'curse' will be activated.

crazy people say crazy things.

love

~LL~

[KR Cincy]

I've tried to chalk up all the frustrating comments to either a lack of knowledge about kidneys or a desire to want to say something positive and just stumbling. The sheer volume of people praying for me, adding me to prayer lists, sending me prayer blankets, etc. is, I realize, something they CAN do, and human nature is one (generally) of wanting to reach out and do something. So I set aside my personal religious beliefs, thank them and tell them "it must be working, I'm still here." Then I size 'em up and wonder how healthy their kidney might be...hehehehehehe

[kitkatz]

LL did you tell them you had already been cursed with dialysis?

[KT0930]

So this is sad.  I am sitting in the chair (at dialysis) and I overhear a conversation next  me between a new patient and a nurse.  The nurse is inquiring about an intention to receive a transplant which the lady replies, "well I'm not sure, I thought dialysis would make me better."

I realize that this may have been a sudden onset but did nobody discuss anything with her in the hospital, surely she had to spend a day or so there before winding up in a unit.

There is an amazing lack of education when you're in the hospital for kidney failure (maybe other things too, but ESRD is my experience). I got sent home with a PD cath a year ago and NO education on how to care for it. On the other hand, if she had acute failure, it's possible that her kidney function would resume, but not BECAUSE of dialysis, just because that's the way acute failure works sometimes.

I agree, though, it's sad that she was allowed to begin dialysis with that impression.

[meadowlandsnj]

on another site, a message board i had been frquenting since 2001, after diagnosis and treatment had begun for me, i was sharing my experience when certain individuals decided to inform me that my condition was due to wrong thinking.
another, rather bent person told me that he was going to put a curse on me, and he still continues to post a countdown to Oct 31, when, he says his 'curse' will be activated.

crazy people say crazy things.

love

~LL~

Do you mind telling what message board this is?

Donna

[Jannie]

I found out I had kidney disease in 2001. They said I would eventually need dialysis. i told everyone at work. About six months later, one co-worker asked me "Are you sure you have kidney failure? You look so good and you haven't started dialysis."  I wish she could come to the center and sit with me while I lie there motionless with two needles in my arm.

[highlite36]

I've had some awful things said to me about dialysis....but the winner of them all was from a man who I met while I was visiting an old friend in a nursing home.  I had already been transplanted and had previously been in the hospital with rejection.  This man was the roommate of the friend I was visiting.  When he found out that I had received a kidney from a friend of mine, he insisted on telling me that I was bound to go straight to HELL because I had taken the soul of another person when I got her kidney.  AND THEN....he proceeded to tell me that the friend who donated would never be able to make it to Heaven because she was "no longer complete."  He said that even the process of dialyzing was a way for doctors to make more money and what I should've done was pray about it because God can fix all things!!!  I've never been so insulted in my life!!!