Ignorant things people have said to you

[Chris]

I would say text me ASAP to get an answer

[kitkatz]

I do not text, shall I just send smoke signals?

[Chris]

Sure, but I'll just think California is on fire again. 

[kitkatz]

 

[paddbear0000]

Sure, but I'll just think California is on fire again. 

 

[RightSide]

Evidently a lot of people think that all kidney failure is caused by diabetes.

So when I tell someone I have kidney failure, it's always the same routine:

Q:  Do you have diabetes?
A:  No.
Q:  Do you have high blood pressure?
A:  No.
Q:  Do you have heart disease?
A:  No.
Q:  Then how did you get kidney failure?
A:  Urinary retention from BPH.

I've been doing that routine so many times, I'm sick of it.

I had met with the Peritoneal Nurse at my center to discuss switching to PD.  And she started in with the same routine.  This time I couldn't take it any more so I replied:

Q:  ....Then how did you get kidney failure?
A:  The Lord smote me with His Mighty Hand.

[dwcrawford]

I have read these threads almost constantly the past couple of weeks.  As a new dialysis candidate I'm sure I would have made many of the ignorant comments.  I wonder if it should be labeled as "things well meaning but uneducated people have said" (for the most part I mean as some were out and out ignorant.

Since November when I found out I needed to start dialysis soon, I have questioned why the lack of general information.  I mean all of the different treatments, causes, acronyms and types of dialysis can make your head swim.  I mean more awareness would general more knowledge which would generate more money which would generate more education which would generate more research which would generate less stupid (annoying) questions.  Omg, I gotta think about something else don't I?

[kitkatz]

Evidently a lot of people think that all kidney failure is caused by diabetes.

So when I tell someone I have kidney failure, it's always the same routine:

Q:  Do you have diabetes?
A:  No.
Q:  Do you have high blood pressure?
A:  No.
Q:  Do you have heart disease?
A:  No.
Q:  Then how did you get kidney failure?
A:  Urinary retention from BPH.

I've been doing that routine so many times, I'm sick of it.

I had met with the Peritoneal Nurse at my center to discuss switching to PD.  And she started in with the same routine.  This time I couldn't take it any more so I replied:

Q:  ....Then how did you get kidney failure?
A:  The Lord smote me with His Mighty Hand.

Yeay verily!

[G-Ma]

 

[Beth35]

I hate when people look at me and say, "Oh, I could never handle dialysis.  I just couldn't do that."  I'm thinking... um....yeah, ya could.  If you wanted to LIVE!  Do people really think we do it just for fun?!

My other issue, when I was dialysis, is that wherever I went with my Grandmother, she would introduce me as the "one on dialysis" as if it was some pity party.  Then everyone would say how horrible it is and blah, blah, blah.  I kinda feel like my Grandmother enjoyed getting that attention from people.  I hated it!

Oh and I just LOVE hearing conversations people have about not wanting to give their organs when they die because they think they won't get into Heaven without them.  These type of comments usually take place where people don't know me.  This happened in an English class once and the professor brought the topic up.  I didn't hear from one person in the room who wanted to give their organs when they die.  But if THEY needed one to live they would be there with their hands out.

[jbeany]

I don't get that logic at all - do they think God's going to look at them at the Pearly Gates and say "Nope, sorry, you saved someone's life with an organ donation - you can't come in here!"?

[Beth35]

Apparently so jbeany.  Crazy huh?  Of course I was too shy to "out myself" and tell everyone what I was going through and how I felt about their ignorance. I look back on that day and I get so mad at myself for not speaking up.  But I was young and scared.  Now, watch OUT!  I don't hold back.  LOL!

[TynyWonder]

Oh and I just LOVE hearing conversations people have about not wanting to give their organs when they die because they think they won't get into Heaven without them.  These type of comments usually take place where people don't know me.  This happened in an English class once and the professor brought the topic up.  I didn't hear from one person in the room who wanted to give their organs when they die.

I think that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!!!   

[Beth35]

Tell me about it TynyWonder.  That is exactly what I thought.  And this coming from my favorite professor and my college peers.   

[JasonEb]

I have read these threads almost constantly the past couple of weeks.  As a new dialysis candidate I'm sure I would have made many of the ignorant comments.  I wonder if it should be labeled as "things well meaning but uneducated people have said" (for the most part I mean as some were out and out ignorant.

Since November when I found out I needed to start dialysis soon, I have questioned why the lack of general information.  I mean all of the different treatments, causes, acronyms and types of dialysis can make your head swim.  I mean more awareness would general more knowledge which would generate more money which would generate more education which would generate more research which would generate less stupid (annoying) questions.  Omg, I gotta think about something else don't I?

It's simple...it boils down to money.  Dialysis is a gold mine for the medical community.  It's more lucrative to keep us barely holding on at the whim of their machines and their medications than to come up with a cure.

[Zach]

I wonder if it should be labeled as "things well meaning but uneducated people have said" (for the most part I mean as some were out and out ignorant.

Excellent point!
Many of us were uneducated about CKD before it affected us.

[paris]

I was one of those!  I knew the basics but there was so much more!  Thank God for IHD!  So, we need to keep spreading the knowledge.   

[Jess21]

I said the other day I didn't feel good.  My boyfriend's response? "You never feel good...you DO have kidney failure!"

[Beth35]

I think the problem in my situation is that people KNEW I had kidney disease.  They knew that I was on dialysis and I did tell them why I was so tired.  I just think they never really believed it.  Like they knew it took a lot out of me but that they didn't really think I'd be THAT tired.  I honestly don't think there is much more I could have said to some people to get them to understand.  I think some people (like my Aunt) would need to actually go through it to get it.

No one REALLY understands how tired you are.

[twirl]

no one will ever understand how tired I am

"How can you be tired?"    "You just got out of dialysis."

[Beth35]

"How can you be tired?"    "You just got out of dialysis."

Yeah, right?

[kitkatz]

no one will ever understand how tired I am

"How can you be tired?"    "You just got out of dialysis."

Oh my Gawd!  They just do NOT get it do they?

[okarol]

Ignorance is bliss.

[dwcrawford]

This is serious and probably "blissful" but one of my doctors and the nurses from the class said that'd I would feel really good after dialysis.  I really thought that was true.

[RichardMEL]

This is serious and probably "blissful" but one of my doctors and the nurses from the class said that'd I would feel really good after dialysis.  I really thought that was true.

yeah this is the difference between those that understand what its meant to do, and those that experience it.

"really good" is relative I suppose. I mean consider the alternative.

Sometimes I finish dialysis and I go home and curl up for a few hours and have a cat nap. Other times I am fine - I have gone to the footy and screamed and yelled and generally carried on!

The thing is you don't come out feeling refreshed like an energizer bunny or something. At least I haven't. You are living absolutely, and you obviously would feel better than if you DIDN'T have dialysis (because you'd be much more sick with all the toxins!) but really.. to say you'd feel "really good" is a bit unfair because it could set up unrealistic expectations in some people. Some might hear that and think they'll be bouncing off the walls or something after it.

Actually most of the time I'm so happy to be out of that chair and able to move my arm that yeah, I do actually feel really good!! Hey, they were right all along!!!