You Know Dialysis Is Taking Over Your Life When...

[LifeOnHold]

You know dialysis is taking over your life when:

You don't see a plain-old banana-- you see a loaded pistol!

The produce section of your local grocery store becomes like a red-light district for you

Commercials featuring flowing streams and rushing waters no longer make you feel like you have to pee, they make you THIRSTY!

You hope whoever came up with any of the flavors of Tums dies a long and painful death

You realize that dialysis is just like the Army:  You're part of a unit, and 'hurry up and wait' is now a large part of your life

You have a voodoo doll of your cab or van driver

You now know that those large styrofoam cups in the unit are NOT for snow-cones!

You have learned to dread it when the nurses roll out the 'privacy screens' around an often-incontinent patient

You now understand how disagreements over tv channels can lead to violence

You quit hoping you'll win the lottery because you realize that it will screw up your Medicare

You refuse to have a recliner in your home

You have learned to do many things with one hand

You have a large collection of Readers' Digest issues, crossword puzzle and find-a-word books, and tons of ballpoint pens

You don't know what you weigh in pounds

If you get anything over 30 seconds with your doctor, you think you've hit the jackpot



 

Feel free to add to the list!

[Epoman]

You got some great lines there  I really like alot of them but my favorites are:

If you get anything over 30 seconds with your doctor, you think you've hit the jackpot

You have learned to dread it when the nurses roll out the 'privacy screens' around an often-incontinent patient


Keep 'em coming! 

[Rerun]

You know Dialysis is taking over your life when......

When you have Excel spread sheets tracking Holiday road accidents and Transplants. 

[LifeOnHold]

Good one, Darla!


My transplant surgeon told a group of us awaiting transplants that he thinks the worst thing Massachusetts ever did was pass the Helmet Law for motorcycles-- the amount of transplants performed in our state went down drastically, because the majority of bike riders are organ donors.   (Bikes are called 'donorcycles' by a lot of medical people.)


                                                ***


You Know Dialysis Is Taking Over Your Life When:

Your address book contains more phone numbers for doctors than for your own relatives

[Epoman]

You know Dialysis is taking over your life when......

When you have Excel spread sheets tracking Holiday road accidents and Transplants. 

 

[LifeOnHold]

You know Dialysis is taking over your life when......

When you have Excel spread sheets tracking Holiday road accidents and Transplants. 



A future news announcer: "And tonight on I-91, a three-car accident netted a total of four kidneys, one liver, two lungs, and five corneas... congratulations to tonight's winners!"

[Rerun]

Traffic Watch:  There is a possible 3 car transplant, I mean accident, on 99 North.  So, stay by your phones.

[LifeOnHold]

Three-car transplant 


You know dialysis is taking over your life when:

You watch the episode of X-Files that has a woman on dialysis, and you know that not only is the pump speed WAAAAAY too slow, the pump is also running backward!

[Charlie Brown]

You Know Dialysis Is Taking Over Your Life When...

 You get a Blood Pressure Meter for a Christmass pressie 

[Epoman]

You Know Dialysis Is Taking Over Your Life When...

 You get a Blood Pressure Meter for a Christmass pressie 

Ouch!

[Bajanne]

Your week has been squished into three days - Monday, Wednesday and Friday

When the first thing you check out in a vacation spot is not the beaches or the hotels, but the dialysis center

Meeting an old friend who enquires about what is happening in your life, the first thing you talk about is the fact that you are on dialysis now

[Naggy6]

You know dialysis is taking over your life when

You are introduced to some one, Instead of saying hello you ask what's your blood type? 

[Gil]

You know dialysis is taking over your life when:

You have a personal website devoted to dialysis.

You get a successful transplant and:
  You can't drink as much as you are told to.
  Your potassium and phosphorus are alarmingly low.
  You check your shunt a few times a day (or the missing PD tube).
  You have nightmares in which you are back on dialysis, in an unfamiliar place.

(Personal experience)
Gil

[Naggy6]

you know dialysis is taking over your life when

you have 3oz of water and every one is chanting chug, chug, chug,

[Bajanne]

Just read these over after a long time and find it all so hilarious!   LifeOnHold, we miss you BAD!!!!

[nkviking75]

You don't know what you weigh in pounds

You know what's frightening?  I have that problem!  Of course, my weight in kilos sounds a lot better than my weight in pounds!



 

Feel free to add to the list!

[angieskidney]

You don't know what you weigh in pounds

 

Feel free to add to the list!

You know what's frightening?  I have that problem!  Of course, my weight in kilos sounds a lot better than my weight in pounds!

When you don't go out anymore because everywhere are too many temptations and all there is in your city are bars.

[MelissaJean]

You know dialysis is taking over your life when some days it feels like all you do is go to work, sleep, eat, and do dialysis. 

[nkviking75]

You know dialysis is taking over your life when drinking water is a sensual experience.

[kitkatz]

You know dialysis is taking over your life when drinking water is a sensual experience.

Amen to that one!  I take mt pills in the morning and the small glass of water is heavenly!

You know dialysis is taking over your life when you spend an hour filling your pill containers at least once a week, then you double check yourself each time you take the pills by counting them.

[RichardMEL]

You know dialysis is taking over your life when...

* You judge food by how well it is at covering that chalky crappy taste of Caltrate you have to eat with it!

* you "celebrate" an occasion with just 1 glass of wine/champ and think you are splurging

* You actually take an acute interest in the amount you pee out and celebrate when it is more than a trickle (for those that still do!)

* You see a small bottle/serve/can of your faveroute beverage and cheer even though it costs twice as much as a bigger one

* You seem to notice how every 2nd person in the street or public transport has a large bottle of water on them and they always seem to drink from it right in front of you.. "oh the pain! the pain!" - Dr. Smith, Lost in Space

* You order a boring sub at subway without tomatoes and other good things because of the potassium content and they ALWAYS give you a funny look and say "what an easy order!" but you know they're really thinking "what a boring loser!" and you sigh.

* You read a restaurant menu and decide not based on what you want, but what best fits your dieticians orders and what the last test results were for your various chemicals

* You note that drinking hard spirits is better than beer because of the much lower fluid volume...

[nkviking75]

You know dialysis is taking over your life when...

Your favorite scene from "Star Trek IV:The Voyage  Home" involves Dr. McCoy, who has travelled with the Enterprise crew, back to the 20th Century.  In one scene, Bones encounters a woman on a gurney in a San Francisco hospital.  When asked her problem, she says she's on kidney dialysis.  Bones comments on the barbaric medical practice and gives the woman a pill.  When we see her later on, she's rejoicing because the pill healed her kidneys!

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Your hands have never been so clean (scrub scrub scrub on Capd)

[kitkatz]

You know dialysis is taking over your life when...

Your favorite scene from "Star Trek IV:The Voyage  Home" involves Dr. McCoy, who has travelled with the Enterprise crew, back to the 20th Century.  In one scene, Bones encounters a woman on a gurney in a San Francisco hospital.  When asked her problem, she says she's on kidney dialysis.  Bones comments on the barbaric medical practice and gives the woman a pill.  When we see her later on, she's rejoicing because the pill healed her kidneys!

I LOVE that scene!

[okarol]

You punch anyone trying to grab your fistula arm.

You always have your blankie and pillow in the car.

You hold your breath in while weighing in, hoping it will levitate you slightly.

You buy a international remote control to mess with a noisy patient's tv channels.

Two words: crushed ice.