Tribute to Darth Vader's Mum: Elsie

[PrimeTimer]

I once attended the Irish Wake of a friend. Since we had never been to one before, a friend and I were at first kind of shocked by all the partying going on. Exactly. We had not a clue. So we went off and sat by ourselves being, well, sad. Guess we stood out like sore thumbs because someone came over and barked at us. Only then did we realize what an Irish Wake is about. To me, it was about celebrating the life and all the living (and the joking, the pranks, the loving, the laughing, the joking, the pranks, the loving and the laughing and the joking, etc....that the deceased did (a lot of) before parting ways with this earth. It was to celebrate the coming together of good friends, family and the joy the deceased brought to each of us and the happiness we could bring to each other. In short, it is one heck of a good reason to eat, drink and be merry and when I thought about it, that is exactly what my (deceased) friend wanted, then and NOW.

Hope you have peace and some smiles, Darthvadar.

[Darthvadar]

Beautifully put, Prime Timer....

You've forgotten an important bit hough... The drink!... Have to have a glass in your hand to toast 'Slainte (pronounced Slawn-Te) meaning health to the corpse!!!... LOL!!!....

Darth....

[Zach]

 

[Darthvadar]

Mum's funeral arrangements... Let's give her a good send off... Let's put the fun into her funeral....

http://www.rip.ie/showdn.php?dn=230215/ElsieKELLAGHAN, FORMALLY AKINTOLA/Tallaght/Dublin

Love to all...


Darth....

[willowtreewren]

Bright clothes and smiles all around!

 

Aleta

[boswife]

  love and happy thoughts 

[nursey66]

Oh !!!!  So sorry !!

[Bambino_Bear]

 

Flowers for you and your Mom.

[Rerun]

May she rest in peace and PARTY on the other side!  You are a good dughter.

                      

[Jean]

Sounds lovely, or as lovely as can be.

[Ninanna]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom Darth. I hope you are able to find the comfort and healing you need

[Poppylicious]

Love, *huggles* and flowers ... x

[lainiepop]

Love to u Darth, hope the funeral goes well xx

[MooseMom]

A lovely and peaceful obituary.  Love to you, Darth; our thoughts and good wishes are with you and your family.

[galvo]

'May the raindrops fall lightly on your brow.
 May the soft winds freshen your spirit.
 May the sunshine brighten your heart
 May the burdens of the day rest lightly upon you.
 And may God enfold you in the mantle of His love.'

[Darthvadar]

Hi All....

Today we lay my darling mum to rest... Now I'm struggling... Her life will be celebrated with Requiem Mass, celebrated by our very good friend, Fr Tom Kehoe... She will then be buried in a really sunny spot at Newlands Cross Cemetery... I chose a spot that's easily accessible for my wheelchair... At the end of a row... Well, Mum liked her end of terrace... LOL!....

At least Mum has arranged for beautiful weather... Bright, sunny, and with temps. of 27 degrees C. are forecast... Unusual for Ireland...

People have been amazing... Last Saturday, someone who can't attend the funeral took me out to lunch... Three friends the took over the house, and cleaned it from top to bottom... Even cleared out the airing cupboard... You took your life in your hands every time you opened that door... You would very soon be buried under an avalanche of towels, sheets, pillow cases, etc... Now it's perfectly organised!....

Bright colours  are being worn all round today... Guests have been warned about black... Yuck!!!!...  If they must wear dark colours, perhaps going to work soon after, they'll dress it up with a brightly coloured tie, hankie, scarf, etc... Even the Funeral Directors have agreed to dispense with the black suits and ties... They're wearing navy suits, while shirts and bright, vibrant ties!... And they've been warned... No funeral faces, please!... Let's put the fun into Elsie's funeral!...

Friends have been amazing... I have had about fifty people in and out of the house over the past few days... What a support structure... The amount of food coming in through the door has been so comforting... After the funeral, we'll come back here and eat, drink, and be merry in Mum's honour... All arranged by my good friends... I haven't made so much as a sandwich in the past few days, but I can say I've eaten plenty of them!!!... Food just seems to arrive!...

A great story... When the funeral directors were taking the coffin out of the hearse, and bringing Mum's body into the house, there was a little girl about three years old taking it all in... I was in the front garden later that evening, and the same little tot came up to me and said 'I saw you getting a wardrobe today!'... From the mouths of babes, etc!... LOL!...

Love to all... Thank you, Everyone for your thoughts, and prayers... Please keep them going... I think I'll need them...

Darth...

[aharris2]

Oh Darth, I am so sorry to see this. Your Mother was so tough and so spirited, I loved reading about her exploits. My deepest sympathy to you 

[PrimeTimer]

Darthvadar: Sounds like you gave your mum an appropriate party uh, I mean send off. Let the drink AND the tears flow, no point in trying to stop them because they won't. The frequency of them may lessen but not the amount. Keep your cup and tissue box full! 

Mine did not want any service or gathering which I was fine with but had to argue it for her with other family members. Anyways, can't help but think that our mothers were a little alike when it came to having a sense of humor. Years before she passed, she and I discussed it and my mother was approved to have her body willed to a medical school when the time came. I didn't think it funny at the time but she said she wanted her body to go to the med students because she had "always wanted to go university someday". I was like gee whiz mom but to her, since she couldn't donate her organs (due to medical conditions and medications) she wanted to help future doctors save lives. Well, the school said that every spring they have a little burial ceremony to bury the ashes of all their "donors" and told me to call and check if my mom's ashes were going to be included in this year's ceremony, as some bodies are used by students longer than others. So, I made the call and they said that no, they were still working on her and for some reason, the first thing out of my mouth was "oh, so she's still teaching the students"...Can't help but think Mom is giving herself a little pat on the back for this. Anyways, when family members asked, that's what I told them, that no, she won't be in the annual spring ceremony this year because she's still teaching over at the university!

Peace be with you and your mum!

[Darthvadar]

Thanks All...

It was lovely!... Lots of people attending the mass and burial... Bright colours everywhere...

Then back here to the house... Great party!...

Now I'm tired!... I'm delighted it went so well....

Love to all...

Darth...

[LisaBart]

Thinking of you 

[billybags]

Darth, I have just popped in and I was so sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds like you had a lovely bright funeral, just what your mum wished for.Its nice to know you have lots of caring people around you at this time. You need them. I am sending you lots of hugs. (Stop eating the sandwiches you will put weight on.) Ann

[MaryJoe]

Darth, I've been off the computer for awhile and just saw the post about your mum.  I knew it was expected, but still was sad to hear Elsie had passed away.  The funeral sounds wonderful, just what she would have wanted, bright colors, good food (and drink) and good friends. I hope your heart is at peace, you were a wonderful daughter and Elsie know she was loved. What more can any of ask of us ask at the end of our lives?
Hugs to you.   

[PrimeTimer]

Darth, I've been off the computer for awhile and just saw the post about your mum.  I knew it was expected, but still was sad to hear Elsie had passed away.  The funeral sounds wonderful, just what she would have wanted, bright colors, good food (and drink) and good friends. I hope your heart is at peace, you were a wonderful daughter and Elsie know she was loved. What more can any of ask of us ask at the end of our lives?
Hugs to you.   

I haven't been a member here all that long but going back and reading Darth's posts about her mother even I could tell that Darth Vader was a very good daughter AND friend to her mother. Sounds like both were lucky to have each other!

[Bambino_Bear]

How are you doing Darth?



 

[Darthvadar]

Hi All....

Thank you everybody for the support... Badly needed, and much appreciated...

Well, it was four weeks yesterday since my darling mum traded in her training wings for the real thing... I'm still okay(ish!)... Missing her like crazy, but still not sorry she's taken leave of this world... She'd done her share of suffering, and was facing a nursing home, which neither of us ever wanted... So for HER sake, I'm glad she's gone... Selfishly, I'd love to still have her here, but because I love her, I'm glad she's gone...

I was sorting through some of her things last week to have taken to a charity shop... Just pyjamas, nightdresses, nightshirts, dressing gowns, slippers, etc... Just the stuff we built up lots of during her six and a half months in hospital... I was putting aside the stuff that was only fit for the bin (she was a devil for insisting on wearing the old, comfortable stuff... I used to be mortified at the sight of some of it...!)... Anyway, there was the bin pile, the brand new pile (this was the largest, WITH tags still on them!), and the 'used but perfect' pile that was destined for the washing machine before joining the new pile for the charity shop... I was doing okay until I found her hairbrush... Was still okay(ish!) until I looked at the brush, and found about twenty silver hairs in it... I crumpled and cried for ages!... Such a silly little thing!... Still, I suppose I can expect many of those moments!....

My friend, Lena took some lovely pictures of Mum's funeral... They're attached... Didn't it look good???... The weather was glorious (32 degrees C, almost unheard of here!),... We ate jelly beans while standing, or in my case, sitting around the grave... Mum loved jellybeans, and we even had the funeral directors, and grave diggers enjoying a few packs while we listened to the 'entertainment'... Had a Baritone Singer blasting out 'Old Man River' at her graveside... She loved that type of music... Same singer sang 'What a wonderful world' when she was coming into the church, and 'Michael Row the Boat' ashore' as she was leaving...

Still getting through the bureaucracy of a death... Got the financial stuff sorted (I think!)... Credit Union pay out will  be in about four weeks, Death Benefit Insurance cheque ready for the Funeral Director who has been AMAZING!... Much cheaper than Dublin firms, and was incredible... As I'm more or less alone with all this, he made himself available to me day and night... I would NEVER have called him at night, but it was a lovely thought... No rush to be paid... I've had to harass him to get my bill... I told him that I'd get his cheque sorted out in a day or so.... Be nice if I could get him to collect it, now!... That man's FAR too trusting of me!... LOL!... He replied 'If you don't get it sorted for the next year, don't worry... There's no rush... And if you're struggling, let me know, we'll sort something out'... I'm okay, thank God, but it was reassuring... Can't speak highly enough about this man... Thank you SO much, Pat McGuill.... This is the first funeral I've ever had to arrange, and I can honestly say Pat made it so easy...

Anyway, I'm now seriously thinking of finally taking a holiday... I think I could use one!....

Thanks everyone... Really appreciate your support....

Love to all...

Darth....

P.S... Looks like I'll have to do a few posts to show the pics...