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Author Topic: Husband's dr appt  (Read 16127 times)
paris
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« on: June 04, 2012, 02:56:28 PM »

Some of you know that my husband has been not feeling well for months. He has gone to the doctor, then wouldn't go back.  Even when more symptoms showed up.  At this point, he has a hematoma in his abdomen that has been there 4 months --- size of a basketball.  And many more (golf ball size) all over his body.  Today's appointment was with a general surgeon.  He goes Wednesday for a biopsy on one lump on his neck, but the surgeon says he is 95% sure it is lymphoma.  Says he has classic symptoms.   Part of me is --- really? seriously?  We have to go through one more threatening diagnosis?   And another part of me is ---- Really?  He kept putting off going back to the doctor for over two months and he has cancer????     I am scared and mad.  Can't we just sit back for awhile and take a breath?   I am worried for him, worried about finances (he is the one with good health insurance).   I am very tired of being strong. I protected all of the family when I was going through my worst times.  Barry is such a huge worrier, and I just am not sure how much I can keep being "susie sunshine" all the time. 

Thanks for reading. Now I need to make dinner.  I would rather hit something or throw something!!       :Kit n Stik;
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MooseMom
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« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2012, 03:57:19 PM »

This is just unbelievable, Paris.  I'm stunned, I really am.  I know that life is not really meant to be easy, but first kidney disease and now cancer...does it really have to be THIS hard?

You don't have to be "Susie Sunshine" here on IHD.  I hope we can give you the strength to enable you to continue being the family's protector for the foreseeable future.
 :grouphug;
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
monrein
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« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2012, 04:45:56 PM »

 :grouphug;  Paris, this makes me so sad and angry all at the same time  for you and the family.  I also wish with all my heart that finances were not such a huge worry since illness itself is frankly quite enough.  Thinking of everyone and please say hello to Barry from me.  :grouphug;
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
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Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
lmunchkin
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"There Is No Place Like Home!"

« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2012, 05:17:59 PM »

Goodness, Paris!  How much more must you endure!  You do all your venting here if it helps you!  God, I wish it would stop happening to Good People. I guess the Devil knows he hasn't much time left on earth to disrupt peoples lives!!!!

You & Barry are in my thoughts & prayers,
lmunchkin :kickstart;
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11/2004 Hubby diag. ESRD, Diabeties, Vascular Disease & High BP
12/2004 to 6/2009 Home PD
6/2009 Peritonitis , PD Cath removed
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6/2010 to present.  NxStage at home
Chris
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« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2012, 10:06:27 PM »

!. Learn/ Try not to be Suzie Sunshine! Be yourself
 
2. Sorry to hear, but hopefully he pulls through and learns a viable lesson in not putting off going to the doctor.
 
3. Not sure what else to say except the classic  "Hang In There"
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Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

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Traveller1947
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« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2012, 06:09:03 AM »

paris, I'm so sorry to hear this.  Life sends us the most outrageous burdens.  It may be a small thing, but here, you have a place of comfort, where you don't have to be strong or put on a happy face.   Sending you good thoughts, praying for the best for you and Barry.
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cassandra
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When all else fails run in circles, shout loudly

« Reply #6 on: June 05, 2012, 06:29:31 AM »

So sorry to hear all this Paris, I'll be thinking of you, and your family.

Keep strong, lots of love Cas
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
2020 start Gambro AK96

       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
willowtreewren
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« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2012, 09:33:31 AM »

Oh, Paris. This is just too much.  :grouphug;

I wish there were something I could do beyond letting you know that I will be thinking of you. Please keep us informed.

 :cuddle;

Aleta
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
Mother to Meagan, who has PKD.
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Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
Darthvadar
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« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2012, 09:49:05 AM »

Oh Liz...

What a nightmare!...

I hope your hubby recovers well... And when he has, THEN you get to kill him for procrastinating about his health!...

Thinking of and praying for you both....

Darth...
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
YellowRose
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« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2012, 12:56:17 PM »

Sorry to hear the bad news from dr's appt. Cancer sucks! It is OK to be scared and mad.
Will keep your husband and your family in my prayer.
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Dec 1993 start with CAPD
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April 2011 start with Hemo
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paris
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« Reply #10 on: June 07, 2012, 10:49:25 AM »

Thank you for the kind thoughts.    :cuddle;      Biopsy was yesterday.  They took one of the lumps from his neck - about an 1 1/2 incision because they wanted the whole thing, not a slice.   They put him under due to a breathing problem.  I talked to the surgeon.  He feels that it is definately lymphoma, probably t-celll lymphoma.  Results will be back in a few days, then met with surgeon, refer to ongologist and hopefully get this show on the road.   It hasn't sunk in with either of us.  Barry is sore and tired today.  He has been sicker than we thought for quite awhile.  So, this week, he is doing lots of resting.  We were suppose to be on vacation -- now it is a staycation. 

I feel bad for our kids. They have spent years worrying about me and now their Dad has cancer.  Shouldn't one of us be the healthy one?  The "kids" (all grown) are scared and sad, but we know they will be a big help as time goes on.     Funny - we don't say cancer.  I noticed we both just say lymphoma, like that doesn't make it so scary!     

@Darthvader,  thank you so much for being in the waiting room with me yesterday!   I felt kind of alone, and suddenly Darth is talking to me and giving me comfort.  Isn't the internet great?   There might be an ocean between us, but yesterday you were in the waiting room in Raleigh North Carolina.  Love and thanks.     :cuddle;
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
willowtreewren
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« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2012, 10:51:46 AM »

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs, Paris.

Yes, Darth was there just before they wheeled Carl in to have his TX. Amazing world we live in.

 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;

Aleta
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
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Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
big777bill
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« Reply #12 on: June 07, 2012, 11:59:59 AM »

 I will keep you both in my prayers. Doctors have been wrong before, let's hope this is one of those times. God Bless, Bill
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liver transplant 3/22/2005
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 started  hemo-dialysis in center 2/07/2012
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galvo
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« Reply #13 on: June 07, 2012, 10:10:03 PM »

Thoughts.
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Galvo
cassandra
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« Reply #14 on: June 08, 2012, 03:00:24 AM »

,and more thoughts, and love
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

1983 high proteinloss in urine, chemo, stroke,coma, dialysis
1984 double nephrectomy
1985 transplant from dad
1998 lost dads kidney, start PD
2003 peritineum burst, back to hemo
2012 start Nxstage home hemo
2020 start Gambro AK96

       still on waitinglist, still ok I think
kitkatz
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« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2012, 10:40:30 PM »

Love and prayers.
Funny how one falls apart the minute the other is up and running again.  Happens here all of time.
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
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« Reply #16 on: June 11, 2012, 11:45:44 AM »

Delighted to be there Paris and Aleta.....

That's what friends are for, isn't it???... How many times have other members of this forum been there for me???...

Any more news, Paris???....

Love to everyone....

Darth....
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
paris
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« Reply #17 on: June 11, 2012, 01:58:02 PM »

No biopsy results yet.  They sent the specimen off to "Big" Duke  (we were at Duke Raleigh).  The surgeon, nurse, all said we would know in 48 hours to a week.  Now they are saying next week--no one ever mentioned 2 weeks.   We just want a course of action.  And like with my disease, I HATE waiting.  We are all staying positive and won't let ourselves get too far down.  We'll deal with this like we do everything -- head on and full force.   

Thanks for asking about him.  It is going to be a long summer.
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
glitter
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« Reply #18 on: June 11, 2012, 02:32:25 PM »

I'll be thinking of you guys- I'm sorry you can't catch a break, its downright debilitating to have your brain so hard stewing on things you have little choice but to deal with. :grouphug;
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Darthvadar
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« Reply #19 on: June 12, 2012, 02:57:07 AM »

Hope you get some news soon, Paris....

It'd be nice to get on with it!....

Please keep us informed...

Thinking of, and praying for you...

Darth...
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
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« Reply #20 on: June 12, 2012, 06:14:02 AM »

Paris, I'm so sorry.  That's such a  frightening thing to go through, and I hope that they are able to get everything out of him, and with minimally invasive methods.  Poor thing, you all need a break!

Not saying the word "Cancer..." that's curious.  When my dad had cancer, we just called it a tumor.  In fact, I was confused at first about whether or not he really had cancer, since no one was saying that word.  It was surreal, we couldn't wrap our heads around it at first.

We're all thinking of you and hoping for the best.  Take care!

 :pray;
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35 years old, first dx w/  chronic renal insufficiency at  28, pre-dialysis

born with persistent cloaca--have you heard of it?  Probably not, that's ok.

lots of surgeries, solitary left kidney (congenital)

chronic uti's/pyelonephritis

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Howard the Duck
paris
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« Reply #21 on: June 13, 2012, 07:49:45 AM »

Again, thanks for the comments and support.   They have sent the biopsy on the the main Duke hospital. Now they are telling us the results won't be back until next week.  Hopefully, they are fine tuning things and want to make sure they have the right t-cell lymphoma (there are many) before they tell us.  Each type has a different treatment protocol.    Barry just wants to get on with the show.   

MomoMcSleepy -  it is surreal.  Thanks for sharing your story.  I don't feel quite so crazy for avoiding the cancer word!  Thanks!!
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Darthvadar
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« Reply #22 on: June 14, 2012, 06:22:59 AM »

In Ireland cancer wasn't mentioned AT ALL if possible until recent years.... People referred to a family member or friend as having 'a lump', 'a problem with their blood', 'a tumour', or if you were really daring, 'the big C'....

It's getting better, thank God... People are getting more open about discussing it...

Hope you get news soon, and get this treatment started!...

Love to Ed...

Thinking of you both....

God bless...

Darth....
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
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« Reply #23 on: June 14, 2012, 07:34:06 AM »

not even sure what to say other then I will hold you both in my prayers and I'm sending you BIG hugs, luv youxoxoxoxoxoxox
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Big E
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« Reply #24 on: June 14, 2012, 10:26:57 AM »


I'm so sorry, Paris.  Even if the news turns out to be bad, there's still a good chance of a cure, according to what I've read.  My dad's former medical partner had Hodgkins disease when he was in his seventies, I believe, and he was cancer-free last time I heard.
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PKD diagnosed June 1996
Started in-center hemodialysis May 2010
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