Caregivers, Im sorry

[lmunchkin]

Stop taking her now! She has her health and good job, but depends on you? Let her know you love her but you are putting your child and your health first!  She is the adult here and she needs to learn how to Fin for herself! I get so angry when I read post like this! You are overwhelmed and no one to help you is just unconscionable!

I have children of my own and would never expect them to cater to me.  Its just down right wrong!  Stop doing it now and let her know you are not going to do it.  If you live in her home and she threatens to kick you out, then you come live with me.  I will do all I can do to make your life easy as I can.  Im serious!  The nerve of these  people! That is so unchristianlike behavior!!!!!!!  Makes me want to do unchristianlike things back to them, but 2 ugliness's don't make it right!

I just can't comprehend that these things really go on!  What is wrong with people that we are so self absorbed in ourselves that we can't see the needs of others. God, I just want to "smack" someone right now!!!!  She doesn't love you the way she should!  She loves herself and that is it.  You and your child need to get out now, the sooner the better!

lmunchkin

[kristina]

I am so sorry Lisa, I do hope you find your way,

kind regards from Kristina. 

[murf]

So, I am going to give you a reality check and I am sure you are going to ban me from this site for this. I think I have had a not so nice/not so compassionate response from you before. So I am asking you rerun, please dont respond to any of my posts that I start.

Sometimes we who blog in IHD, do not need "reality checks" but just a quiet word of comfort and empathy. My heart goes out to you Lilliupie. I find Richard very good at summing up a situtaion.

[Lillupie]

just wanted to say it wasnt Richard who responded to my post here, it was rerun, who i took it that she thinks I should tote my mom everywhere. Bottom line is I wish it were me with the job, and not the almost free taxi service and the dialysis.

Lisa

[murf]

Re. Richard. Other way around. I have always found him to be great 'listener' without making subjective opinions. He is Worth his weight in gold.

[lmunchkin]

Lillupie, You are in our thoughts & prayers. Just don't know what to tell you dear, but our offer stands! I hate that you are going through all this. But I also know that Lord don't give us more than we can stand.

Vent here anytime. We are here for you!

lmunchkin    and 

p.s. Yea I love to read Richards post too. I cant believe the guy is "Single" and doing all his own stuff on his own.       So up beat & positive about life, but is very realistic too!  Really a nice guy I gather from his posts!

[AguynamedKim]

Re. Richard. Other way around. I have always found him to be great 'listener' without making subjective opinions. He is Worth his weight in gold.

A gold statue of RichardMel would be pretty cool.

Lillupie, I'm sorry you're in this tough situation and wish I could offer more than my e-hug.  Here is that at least: 

[RichardMEL]

Whoa!  I  am  glad  I  was  alerted  to  these  posts.  worth  my  weight  in  gold?  statues??!  Wait  a  minute.  The  gold  price  continues  to  rise  as  does  my  steroid  fuelled  weight.  Melt  down  the  bloody  statue  and  we're  all  off  to  party  in  Vegas.

Well  except  for  Lisa's  mom  who  won't  get  a  cab  to  the  airport. 

Please  folks  I  am  not  the  second  coming  or  something.  Just  a  regular  guy  trying  to  make  the  most  from  what  life  dishes  up.  just  like  everyone  else.

Lisa  vent  away  jf  it  helps  that's  great.  one  reason  IHD  is  here  in  my  view.   

now  please  return  to  the   topic  at  hand  which  has  nothing  to  do  witn  me,  my  weight  or  the  contents  of Fort  Knox. 

ps  just  ask  my  ex  girlfriends  why  I  am  single.  I  am  sure  there  would  be  many  answers!

[KarenInWA]

"ps  just  ask  my  ex  girlfriends  why  I  am  single.  I  am  sure  there  would  be  many  answers!"

Oh please, Richard! As someone who has had worse luck than you in that dept, who has been dumped just for being herself, I fail to believe that your exes are any different from mine.  I think you and I just have bad luck in choosing "partners".  Your exes have about as much justification as mine did for dumping me like yesterday's garbage.  They SUCK!!!!

Okay, back to the original point of this thread...

And yes, Lisa, you need to live your OWN life and stop having to be your *healthy* mother's keeper.  She needs to grow up already!!!

KarenInWA

[Brightsky69]

Oh please, Richard! As someone who has had worse luck than you in that dept, who has been dumped just for being herself, I fail to believe that your exes are any different from mine.  I think you and I just have bad luck in choosing "partners".  Your exes have about as much justification as mine did for dumping me like yesterday's garbage.  They SUCK!!!

KarenInWA

Amen sista!

[RichardMEL]

Well  to  be  fair  I  am  hardly  egotistical  or  arrogant  enough  to  think  i  was  never  at  fault.  it's  a  two  way  street.  sometimes  jus  different  goals  or  places  in  life  was  the  problem.  other  times  not  proper  communication  etc.

Anyway  this  is  not  about  me.  Lisa  has  a  bf  anyway!

[galvo]

I think it's probably because you follow a  lousy footy team, and any half-decent females would be ashamed to be seen on the same side of the street as you.

[KarenInWA]

I think it's probably because you follow al ousy footy team, and any half-decent females would be ashamed to be seen on the same side of the street as you.

Oh, you mean the "Tugers"? 

[galvo]

Spot on!

[RichardMEL]

lol! This  thread  s  not  about  me  or  the  tiggers!   hey  i  dates  a  pies  fan  for  over  two  years  - you  tell  me  who  has  the  worse  taste.  lol

[lmunchkin]

So how has it been going, Lillupie.  Are things getting better for you? Have you spoke whats on your heart to your mother?  You have been on my heart all week.  How strong you are to do the things that need to be done, and the things not so needed to do. Please let us know how you are doing?

lmunchkin

[*kana*]

Lisa,

Not sure if you moved out of Michigan, but I am in the Ypsi/Ann Arbor area if you ever need anyone to help you out. 

Hang in there!

[Lillupie]

aw thank you sooooo much you guys    You all make my day/evening/night. I really appreciate the support. I am trying to hang in there. I guess it really bothers me because I would rather A. Not be on dialysis at all, B. Not be a slave. There are days I feel like i am her slave. You all are right that she does have much better health then me. Its hard being on dialysis and having to eat so much protein every day. I usually dont know until the last minute that she needs to be picked up from work. She works about 45min away. So I might try to defrost something to cook it later, and when it comes time to cook, Ill get the phone call to come pick her up. and by the time I get home from driving about another 100 miles, im too pooped to cook. She calls me if its too windy, like more then 5mph wind. Because she is scared of the wind.
 I would say at times I feel like a slave because she lets me live there, free food, gives me a car so that I can drive her around, but yet I cant pay any of my bills. lol
 And do you know that I was talking about this situation to a lady in the waiting room at my clinic, who is also on dialysis, and she was like "shes your mom you'll do anything for her, you're not working or going to school, so you have nothing else to do" oh I was mad.
 At some point I would like to get a job for experience and to pay down my past credit cards, but now am only available between 9-3:30? grr. Because my mom has made it known that if i cant give her rides she will quit her job! I just wish she was willing to learn how to drive. Atleast try.
 Not only that but I have to deal with my daughters father who wont pay a mesaly $50 a month in child support, but he wants to spend all this time with her. Which I am ok with. I didnt want her going to school in Detroit, so we agreed until I moved out to the suburbs she can go to school where her dad is at. Ok now i am in a better area, better school district, her dad wants to give me  ahard time about enrolling her in a school by me! Grr. I have told him about 20 times I can get up and get her to school! and he insists that I cant get off of my machine, and I told him if i can getmy mom to work or to the bus stop occasionally, I can get her to school. I think he want to use my dialysis as a crutch to not let me have her. Its like  he wants to play with her and not financially take care of her.
 HE IS NOT, NOT on dialysis. He is 42 years old, no car, no job, no place to live, a degree from the University of Michigan. So my daughter is sleeping with his mother when in school. With me she has her own room, with him or his mom, she does not (she lives in a single wide trailer). He lives with a older lady who he used to drive around until his car's engine seized on him.
 OK, my boyfriend who, him and I are seriously talking about marriage has mentioned several times that when we get married he wants to fill out the paper work to adopt my daughter, and let her dad still see her. Ok my boyfriend is in the US ARMY with a degree in engineering. I just highly doubt that Alex (my daughter)'s dad would go for adoption. But he cant/wont provide for Alex! AND i cant say anything to her dad because her dad will turn around and say "I dont see you working"! Im on dialysis grr

So, this is what I deal with plus PD dialysis,
Lisa

[mykey711]

Time to get a life, maybe away from Mom.

[rsudock]

Time to get a life, maybe away from Mom.

a little insensitive...if only things were that black and white.