Mom made the decision to stop dialysis yesterday

[The Wife]

Love and a hug....

[Sluff]

Spend as much quality time and share some laughs together while you can.. 

[RichardMEL]

Oh my this is very difficult but who knows how long she can go without dialysis. I think if I was told something like that I'd probably want to gout with a bang and not a whimper (ie: enjoy what time I had left). It a very courageous decision she has made I feel and clearly she is at peace with it - perhaps more so since she so recently lost her husband. Very difficult times for you all - just try and support her with what she wants and to be comfortable and at least now you know and can, as hard as this is, prepare for what is to come. I think she will help you in this regard. I know when my own mother gave up her medical treatment with really 2 or so weeks to go she was at peace with her decision and was able to tell us what SHE wanted in terms of funeral and all that stuff, and beyond. We did get to say goodbye, which is so important.. and I think this will be important to her too.

Hang in there.

[Auntie V]

We had a very good day today. Mom has started eating and will not stop. About every hour or two she is asking for something else. I was able to go to the store yesterday and she asked me to buy some sherbet.  I bought a package of 8  little cups of rainbow. We are already down to four. While she was in the hospital she asked for Mac & Cheese so I fixed that for dinner tonight. This went over real big with my brother and Mom.

We will find out tomorrow what the hospital is going to do about forgetting to remove the permacath before sending her home. The hospice nurse thought she could remove it till she called the neurologist. The way I see it is the hospital is going to be footing the bill for this one. They are the ones that packed her up and loaded her for transport without calling me so I feel that they can come get her and fix their mistake.  All they were requested to leave in was the Foley cath by hospice.

I will keep you posted on what happens.

 

I am so grateful for all of the support that all of you are sending our way. It really helps to have a place to come to talk about what we are going through.

Vicki

[drinkboy]

You and your family are in my thoughts...what a difficult decision for her to make but I am so happy you and your family are supporting her and doing everything to make her as comfortable as possible.   As others have said, at least you all have the opportunity to say goodbye and also, your mom has the comfort in knowing she is at home with her family there.  She is going out on her terms and with a great amount of dignity and that in itself is a comforting thought in such a a difficult time.

God bless   

[The Wife]

Thinking of you and your mom today and sending love...

[thegrammalady]

 

[willieandwinnie]

  Happy that your Mom had a good day. 

[Sluff]

Make each day special. 

[paris]

We will be surrounding you with love and support.      These days are a special gift for you and your Mom.  When things are hard, I hope you can feel our arms around you, beside you in this sad journey.   Your Mom has a very special daughter.  She raised a caring, loving daughter and I know she is very proud of you.   

[Auntie V]

  Update 2-19-09

Things are going fairly well now that we are getting into a routine. My niece arrived today from Florida. Mom is enjoying all of the attention. Diane is right at her side if Mom even makes a moan or groan. She is also taking very good care of Auntie V. She told me that while she is here she wants me to rest and enjoy having some non-caregiver time with Mom.

[willieandwinnie]

  Take her up on the offer. You need your rest. 

[The Wife]

Yes, take her up on the offer. 

Sending love...                                                                                                 

[paddbear0000]

 

[MandaMe1986]

I am sorry to hear about your mom.  I am sure this is very hard on all of you.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Bajanne]

So glad to hear that you settled into a routine and that you are getting some help.  I hope you let your mom know that an entire international community is sending her caring thoughts and are praying for her.  I am glad we are able to go through this with you.

[jessup]

Just a quick 
Lots of love and wishes to you all
and some beautiful flowers too
 

[The Wife]

Thinking of you and sending love...

 

[paris]

Keeping you and your Mom in my thoughts and prayers.   

[Rerun]

I hope your Mom is at peace with her decision and that she is resting comfortably.

                                                 

[ODAT]

Your niece knows what she is talking about. Non-caregiver time is soooo special. My sister tells me 'yeah, I spend a lot of time with mom, but that's making phone calls, paying bills, cleaning the house, making supper, and doing her meds. I don't have time to sit and talk the way I wish I could.' Your niece is a wonderful person. I pray you all are coping well.

 

[Rerun]

You are in my prayers as this is going on 12 days since your Mom decided to stop dialysis.

                                                                   

[nursewratchet]

I'm so sorry for you, and for what is coming.  Hard decisions, but ones that have to be respected by everyone.  Hospice will be good to her, and your family. 

[Auntie V]

Update 3-2-09

So far so good! We have had my Bro & SIL down each weekend and my Niece was here for 10 days to help out. Mom is still putting out some fluid so I hope we will have a few more weeks together. She has been soaking up all of the attention from our visitors and enjoying it very much. She has her hospital bed in the living room so she is right in the middle of everything. I sleep in the recliner right next to her so she can call me if she needs me.

Her arms did start leaking the other day so she has been wrapped up like a mummy but today everything was dry so no more mummy arms. We still have not resolved the problem with her permacath not being removed before they transported her home from the hospital. After watching the hospice nurse change the dressing with her nose on the outside of her mask I told the director that I will be doing the dressing changes from now on. They sent me out about 10 kits, extra masks and some suture kits so I can cut the tegadurm cover.

The hospice doctor has not been out yet because her barn burned down the day she was going to see Mom. She seems to think that she will be able to remove the cath here at the house once I take Mom off of her blood thinner and her INR is low enough. I still think the hospital should come get Mom and remove it  then bring her back after it is removed. After all they are the ones that screwed up.

I am looking forward to a couple quiet days before I make the call to my other brother, the 67 year old hippie. They live in Colorado but are almost in New Mexico. This is a half brother that is not welcome to stay at the house. I am not looking forward to them coming to visit. They live in a trailer house out in the middle of nowhere with no running water, phone or electric except a generator. Mom is the one that said that she does not want them staying here because he thinks he can gather up Mom & Dad's things and take them home with him.

Well I just want to thank all of you again for the prayers and well wishes. They seem to be working! Please keep them comming.

,

[pelagia]

That's good news about your mom.   

Having Visigoths, Huns and Hippies for relatives can be very entertaining, as long as you have a chance to lock up the silver and jewels before you let them in.  When my relatives get unbearable, I tried to think of it as a play and just pretend I am in the audience.  I hope it goes okay with your brother.