Auntie V
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« on: February 13, 2009, 09:08:46 AM » |
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Mom made the decision yesterday to stop dialysis and come home with hospice. The only way she would be able to continue dialysis is if she would move to a long term facility with on site dialysis. The only one near us is about 40 miles away. They also told her that even with dialysis that she only has from 6 weeks to 6 months to live. She just wants to come home. We just lost my Dad in November and now it looks like Mom will be joining him soon.  |
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monrein
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« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2009, 09:16:02 AM » |
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr. 2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
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paul.karen
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« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2009, 09:25:22 AM » |
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Please dont beat yourself up Aunti V. You can only offer your thoughts and concerns to your mother. It seems to me that your mother is ready to go and be with her husband your father. And with six weeks/6 months i truly cant say that i wouldn't do the same. I realize it is hard on you and others in your family. But i do think it is ten fold for your mother. Please just enjoy the time you have with her. Try to make her feel comforted and warm with her decision. Big   to you and yours. P&K |
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Curiosity killed the cat
Satisfaction brought it back
Operation for PD placement 7-14-09
Training for cycler 7-28-09
Started home dialysis using Baxter homechoice
8-7-09
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thegrammalady
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« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2009, 09:55:58 AM » |
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if i was told that i only had 6 months to live i would set out to prove them wrong. but then that's me. your mom has made her decision and no matter how anyone feels about it it's a decision she has a right to make. hopefully hospice can make her comfortable so that you can enjoy whatever time you have left with her. please take care of yourself. since we live so close i'm sorry i will not have a chance to meet your mom. again if there is anything i can help with please let me know. |
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s
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If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Meddle Not In The Affairs Of Dragons
For You Are Crunchy And Taste Good With Ketchup
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pelagia
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« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2009, 10:00:36 AM » |
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As for me, I'll borrow this thought: "Having never experienced kidney disease, I had no idea how crucial kidney function is to the rest of the body." - KD
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kellyt
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« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2009, 10:01:34 AM » |
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God Bless.
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1993 diagnosed with glomerulonephritis. Oct 41, 2007 - Got fistula placed. Feb 13, 2008 - Activated on "the list". Nov 5, 2008 - Received living donor transplant from my sister-in-law, Etta. Nov 5, 2011 - THREE YEARS POST TRANSPLANT!  |
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TynyWonder
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Calvin
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« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2009, 11:07:58 AM » |
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Diagnosed with ESRD-November 2006
I have had 2 fistuals-neither one worked
I have had 2 grafts the last one finally "took"
I had 3 different catheters from Nov. 06 - Dec. 08
Got on the transplant list - Halloween Day 2008
You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them. I BELIEVE THIS TO BE SOOOOO TRUE!
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LightLizard
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« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2009, 11:13:06 AM » |
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That's a hard decision I think that probably gives all of us pause for thought AuntieV. I'm really sorry for your pending loss but her suffering will end, once and for all, and that is a positive. If there is life after death, she will be happier with her loved ones there. If there isn't, she will still be free from pain and suffering. I wish you peace with this and may your grieving be swift and true.
love
LL
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glitter
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« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2009, 11:16:48 AM » |
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What a tough thing to face, I hope your Mom finds peace. |
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Jack A Adams July 2, 1957--Feb. 28, 2009
I will miss him- FOREVER
caregiver to Jack (he was on dialysis)
RCC
nephrectomy april13,2006
dialysis april 14,2006
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Joe Paul
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« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2009, 11:31:58 AM » |
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Hope hospice keeps her comfortable. Be sure you take care of yourself during this time as well |
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"The history of discovery is completed by those who don't follow rules"
Angels are with us, but don't take GOD for granted
Transplant Jan. 8, 2010
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Yvonne
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Yvonne
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« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2009, 01:08:49 PM » |
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God Bless also Yvonne
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2007- since January 2007 carer to my husband John who has the following, allways been a very fit man up till then.
2007 - January Renal failure
2007 - March Diagnosed with a Horseshoe kidney and bladder cancer.
2007 - June One kidney, Prostrate and Bladder removed with stage 4 cancer. Urostomy
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petey
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« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2009, 01:11:40 PM » |
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This is sad news, indeed. If I were in your mother's shoes, however, I think I'd choose the same thing for myself (now, if it were Marvin, I'd probably feel differently). Our experience with Hospice (for Marvin's brother just recently) was a very positive one. The Hospice folks who came in and helped us with Buddy were wonderful -- just wonderful. One NA (April was her name) was so gentle and loving with Buddy, but she laughed and joked, too (and, sometimes you need that as well).
My thoughts are with you and yours at this most difficult time. Treasure every minute -- every single minute -- spent with your mom. But, then, that's something we should all be doing as well, shouldn't we?
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Bajanne
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« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2009, 01:59:17 PM » |
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I can appreciate how difficult this might be for you and your family. All I can do is let you know that your IHD family is with you all the way, holding your hand in cyberspace and sending caring thoughts for your mom. Please continue to keep us updated. Thanks for sharing with us |
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"To be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own ...but that which is based on faith"  I LOVE my IHD family! |
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kitkatz
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« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2009, 03:27:05 PM » |
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This is a hard decision for your Mother to make. I hope she is treated with love and dignity. |
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lifenotonthelist.com Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5 Remember your present situation is not your final destination. Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time. "If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1 |
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twirl
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« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2009, 03:29:30 PM » |
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I am so sorry  |
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Wenchie58
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« Reply #15 on: February 13, 2009, 03:48:17 PM » |
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The folks from Hospice are wonderful people. They will help both of you.
A tough decision for your Mom to make and for you to deal with, but the
choice was hers. My thoughts and prayers are with both of you.
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning Satan shudders and says "Oh s**t, she's awake!"
Right nephrectomy 1963
Diagnosed ESRD 2007
"Listed" summer 2007
Transplant 3/6 match 10/24/08
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jessup
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Gemma - the tucker monster
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« Reply #16 on: February 13, 2009, 03:52:13 PM » |
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Oh dear mate This is sad news Your Mum's decision is heart wrenching but it is her decision Enjoy your time with your Mum It is so sad when we love so much I have tears in my eyes and heart I am scared that my Dad will make the same decision as your Mum but we need to respect their rights I hope this post gives you and your Mum strength and comfort Lots of love and prayers mate Take care  |
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del
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« Reply #17 on: February 13, 2009, 03:55:01 PM » |
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Don't take your organs to heaven. Heaven knows we need them here.
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jbeany
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« Reply #18 on: February 13, 2009, 04:39:40 PM » |
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"Asbestos Gelos" (As-bes-tos yay-lohs) Greek. Literally, "fireproof laughter". A term used by Homer for invincible laughter in the face of death and mortality. |
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rose1999
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« Reply #19 on: February 13, 2009, 11:37:14 PM » |
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Sorry to hear this sad news, but I fully understand her decision. All you can do is be around for her and let the hospice carers look after her pain etc. Try to make some good memories for yourself and come here as often as you need - these guys are the best for giving unconditional love and support |
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okarol
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« Reply #20 on: February 13, 2009, 11:55:53 PM » |
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It's sad and it's hard to imagine letting go someone who wants to stop treatment. It takes a real loving family to be supportive, whatever the outcome. It's clear that you love and respect your mom and I admire you for listening to her and honoring her choice. Best wishes to you family. HUGS for you. |
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Auntie V
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« Reply #21 on: February 14, 2009, 08:11:50 AM » |
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Thank You all for your prayers and warm thoughts.
She is home now. My brother has come down for the weekend from Wyoming to help get her settled in. We had Dad here at home with hospice for over 7 months and they were wonderful with all of us. It is very comforting to know what to expect this time. Some of our help will be the same people that were here for Dad so they already know us.
I will be setting up her care area today so we will have everything handy. My only problem is that I put most of Dad's sheets away and do not remember where I put them. I am sure that as soon as I go buy a couple more sets the others will show up.
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st789
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« Reply #22 on: February 14, 2009, 08:14:00 AM » |
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Back in the comfort of home.
Not an easy to make.
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willieandwinnie
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« Reply #23 on: February 14, 2009, 08:42:31 AM » |
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Auntie V. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Please take sometime for yourself.
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"I know there's nothing to it, but I want to know what it is there's nothing to"
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Rerun
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« Reply #24 on: February 14, 2009, 08:52:17 AM » |
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I would make the same decision as your Mom. She is very brave and must have faith as to where she is going. Give her a hug for me. Try not to think of the loss at this time and enjoy her and talk and laugh. She is making the right choice. Dialysis kept her alive for a little while and that is more than most people get when they have an organ fail. |
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