Husband's dr appt

I miss you all so much. This is just so unreal. Keeping track of my stuff kept me busy, but now with Barry - I have moments of being overwhelmed. As I have mentioned before, he doesn't like to look at results, paperwork, labs, etc. So I am walking around with the results of the 1st pet scan and he doesn't want to know anything about it. As long as the lesions look better, it makes him feel like it is all working. I truly hope so. He has had new ones form, but maybe the drugs are slowing it down some. He only knows about the tumors and lesions he can see on the skin. He doesn't know that there are many throughtout his lungs, some 2-3 inches. All the soft tissue in the abdoman hasdozens of tumors, but none are on the other organs, just the lungs. His mouth reacted to the last drug and he can't have another round until all the sores are healed. It felt like the inside skin was burnt. He could only eat through a straw or drink a little soup. He is eating better the past two days. He missed one treatment, but it looks like his mouth will be good for Monday's. Going to the ER with a 101.6 fever was no fun. He had 3 days of round the clock antibiotics and a total of 4 units of blood. His white count was .3 . It is now back up to 3. I like it when the decimal point is on the right side instead of the left!

His hair is falling out. It is such a reminder of what is going on. He knows he won't be back at work. I think he has set Jan. 11th as his retirement. He had lots of sick/vacation time and co-workers have donated 2 more months to him. He has great people he works with. He will have a 100 days of treatments and rest until the next petscan. That will be the end of October. We haven't gone any where since summer began. Just to the hospital and occasionally I have to get groceries. Every once in a while, I just want to run away. We have been dealing with major health problems for about 10 years now. I'm really not complaining -- I do know many are facing much worse.

I need to make being here a top priority. I need my safe place where others know what is going on. BTW, friends tell him how good he looks! He has lost almost 70 pounds, hair is getting spotty - but he still looks good!

Nope, he looks like a man with Stage 4 cancer! One good friend said he looked good for what he is going through. I will remember that phrase. It acknowledges the illness while trying to say something nice.

Again, I miss all of you so much. I owe some messages and I will get them sent. I am trying to get life sorted out and organized, but so far, I am not getting it done. Thank you for your concerns, thoughts and prayers. He needs them so much.