I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: needlephobic on September 13, 2010, 05:47:24 PM

Title: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 13, 2010, 05:47:24 PM
Don't think I'll ever get over my needle phobia. My social worker wants me to set and look at a needle for 4 hours she said that would help has she forgot I freak out over needles its a hopeless cause looks like im doomed no needles no dialysis I thought about the home thing don't want tubes comming out of my stomice and i don't have room for it and the supplies so I don't know what i am going to do. Pluss at my center i got a charge nurse from hell that hates me she is rude cause she is a nurse and i am a stupid pac and they won't do nothing about her they all take her side knowing she does me wrong and the other pac too
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: RichardMEL on September 13, 2010, 06:39:06 PM
I'm not really over my needle phobia and I've been doing D for over 4 years.

I just don't look when the stick it in. I look elsewhere and go to a happy place (usually thinking about girls  :rofl;) or joke with the tech or whatever (yes I know, unwise to make a nurse with a big needle laugh, but they manage to stick me just fine). I find it works for me. I can look now when they take them out, but only really because I need to to be ready to hold my spots etc, and that's ok.. but going in.. nope I can't watch.

I am just a big wuss.

 :shy;
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: Rerun on September 13, 2010, 06:53:21 PM
Ask your doc for a seditive.  Something to calm your before you go in.  I had to do that for the first six months.  I still hate needles after 5 years.  I bite my finger really hard and look the other way.  They jump back and say does that hurt..??  I say "no, but it might".  I use the lidocane needles and those hurt but I'd rather have that then the huge needles with no pain killer!

Try the seditive.  Then you won't give a shit!
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: casper2636 on September 13, 2010, 07:03:16 PM
I, too, hate needles, but, unfortunately, it's a fact of our lives. I look in another direction and hold my breath. Counting to ten also helps...it gives you something to concentrate on. I'm sorry to here about your nurse. Can you complain to management? In my clinic we have two nurses on duty, and if you don't like a tech or a nurse you can request to never have that person work on you again. Is this an option? I'll be thinking of you! :cuddle;
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: jbeany on September 13, 2010, 07:17:45 PM
4 hours straight?  Is she crazy?  Shouldn't a social worker have some idea of the basic concepts of behavioral therapy?  The point is to introduce the thing you are phobic about in small, gradually increasing increments.  Start with a picture of a dialysis needle.  Look at it with a kitchen timer running, starting with a time you think you can handle.  10 seconds, 30 seconds, a couple minutes - whatever you can deal with, no matter how little that is at the start.  Push yourself to look at it a bit longer a couple times a day, every day, working up until you can see it all the time without it bothering you.  Find a mantra or some calming thing you can do that helps you deal - like repeat "I'm fine; I can handle this." or rub a worry stone.  Then you get the real needle - a small one to start, like the tiny ones they use for insulin that are half an inch long and no wider than a human hair.  Repeat the same process.  Then bigger needles until you get one of the ones they use for dialysis.  You still may want that sedative for D, because they are not just showing you the needle for that, but at least the sight of the needle wouldn't be as bad, and then you can start on the same process for having them insert the needles.  And no, you never have to watch if you don't want to!

Hey, I pretty much fainted every time they simply pulled the needles at the end of the run when I started, and I eventually learned to stick myself.  It can be done, it just takes a lot more time than 4 hours!
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 13, 2010, 08:09:37 PM
my prob is when somebody comes at me with a needle i don't faint i fight and i mean i fight tooth and nail and being in that so called confortable chair with somebody going to stick me they are going to have a heck of a fight. and casper I did talk with the ass manager who has seen her be rude to other pac and won't do nothing about it cause she is the best of the best and they expect me to lie in a chair with tubes running everywhere and take her crap don't think so I talked to social worker about it and asked her if she went to a resturant and got crappy service would she go back she said no and I asked why should i go back to dialysis if i got crappy sevice she couldn't answer me yes I have skipped treatments I know it is bas for me but I have no where to go have no car and this place is a couple of blocks away from me. and I even asked for a different nurse and she wanted to argue with me there on the floor infront of every body so i don't know im doomed i guess 
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: JScott1753 on September 13, 2010, 09:46:24 PM
It can be difficult using the dialysis needles; I usually firmly grab the end/side of the chair arm as a preparation. One thing I have started doing is making sure the tech inserts the needles in a quick/sure motion. With the sharps, s-l-o-w insertion is more painful, at least for me.
With all due respect, that nurse, due to the way she treats you, is *not* one of the best!
Jon
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: okarol on September 13, 2010, 09:59:22 PM
needlephobic, you may have mentioned the answer to this question so please forgive me, but why don't you do PD?
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: YLGuy on September 13, 2010, 10:06:49 PM
I thought about the home thing don't want tubes comming out of my stomice and i don't have room for it and the supplies so I don't know what i am going to do.

You really should not skip sessions.  I am sorry I do not have an answer for you. 
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 13, 2010, 10:49:55 PM
needlephobic, you may have mentioned the answer to this question so please forgive me, but why don't you do PD?

I don't have room in my house for all the supplies and the machine. I don't want tubes comming out of my gut. might have toi change my members name to dead man walking lol 
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: okarol on September 13, 2010, 10:54:43 PM
needlephobic, you may have mentioned the answer to this question so please forgive me, but why don't you do PD?

I don't have room in my house for all the supplies and the machine. I don't want tubes comming out of my gut. might have toi change my members name to dead man walking lol

Ooops, now I see it, it's a the beginning of the thread, sorry about that.
If you cannot bear needle sticks, and you don't want a PD tube (it's one, not plural) I guess the only option is to stick with chest catheters as long as you can. Most doctors do not recommend this for long periods of time, but it's your choice. What about a transplant? Have you considered that?
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 14, 2010, 12:12:41 AM
yes i thought about it I do have 2 live donors but we come to the test with needles thats what got me into this mess anyway I just so scared of them things I just know something bad is going to happen I don't trust what the nurse sticks in my tube at dialysis people and machines make mistakes. My social worker had me face my fear by putting a dialysis needle in front of me about arm reach and i was like a little baby in that chair i was in a fetal postion telling her to get it way from me and she wouldn't and just today she tried something different i wasn't aware she cut the needle part off but she wanted me to tape the tube on my arm i freaked out she showed me no needle so i did hold the tube but she is trying to hurry this up because she retires in Jan
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: okarol on September 14, 2010, 12:35:26 AM
I am about as needlephobic as anyone I know. Every time they stuck a needle in Jenna's arm for dialysis, I could not look. The thought of it even now makes me queasy (and it's not even MY arm!) She is much braver than I. I think if I had to start hemodialysis tomorrow, I would need some sedative, something to keep me calm. But I would do it, because I want to live. I hope your donors come through, I hope you can do what it takes to get transplanted.
By the way, that social worker is one messed up crazy person. Hopefully her retirement is sooner than later.

Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: galvo on September 14, 2010, 12:50:24 AM
Needlephobic, your problem is serious and if you continue to miss sessions, you will be in big trouble. Seriously big trouble! You can't handle needles, you don't want pd, you can't proceed down the transplant path (and you have two live donors lined up, and the charge nurse hates you!!!!!

You have to get professional help and get it now.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: romanyscarlett on September 14, 2010, 03:49:53 AM
Would you consider having hypnotherapy? I had some before I started dialysis and it's changed my life.

Before I had hypnotherapy I was incredibly needlephobic. Whenever I had a blood test I'd have a panic attack, I'd be in floods of tears and I've passed out a few times. It was the same if I saw a needle on tv.

I really didn't like the idea of PD so I knew I had to get over my fear of needles. My neph sent me to the renal psychologist to discuss my fear and she offered to hypnotize me. It's painless, there are no needles anywhere in the vicinity whilst it's being done and it was free so I figured I'd give it a shot.

I can't believe how scared I used to be. I still don't like needles but I'm not afraid of them anymore. I look the other way while they're putting them in but I no longer cry or hyperventilate. I credit the renal psychologist with saving my life because if it wasn't for her there would be no way I'd be having dialysis.

You've got nothing lose and everything to gain so it's worth looking into.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: MooseMom on September 14, 2010, 07:57:41 AM
I LOVE the hypnotherapy idea!!
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: RichardMEL on September 14, 2010, 08:04:11 AM
me too. It's a very positive idea.

It sounds like this fear is cripling you, and given that you don't want to have a PD access, it's something you have to conquer some way or other, or you're in big trouble (sorry).

I hope that you can find something that works for you to allow you to have treatments.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: Poppylicious on September 14, 2010, 08:54:48 AM
I LOVE the hypnotherapy idea!!
Me too!
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 14, 2010, 10:42:28 AM
Ask your doc for a seditive.  Something to calm your before you go in.  I had to do that for the first six months.  I still hate needles after 5 years.  I bite my finger really hard and look the other way.  They jump back and say does that hurt..??  I say "no, but it might".  I use the lidocane needles and those hurt but I'd rather have that then the huge needles with no pain killer!

Try the seditive.  Then you won't give a shit!

Well my neph is a jerk can't trust him he wanted me to take the meds that are very adictive i do not like takeing meds and i really don't want to reliey on then and get adictive to them I hate the binders they are to hard to get down i choke on them . as for hypnotize don't think they can do it to me i am always on guard I have trust issues thanks to my dialysis center and my neph can't trust my neph why should i trust somebody he sends me too  :banghead;
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: romanyscarlett on September 14, 2010, 11:13:42 AM
I was convinced that hypnotherapy wouldn't work for me but it did. I've been to hypnotherapy entertainment shows in the past and I've been the one of the only people that couldn't be hypnotized. I also don't fall for "suggestion" magic tricks. I have a naturally suspicious personality and I was certain that hypnotherapy would be a waste of time.

I am pleased to say that I couldn't have been more wrong. Hypnotherapy for phobias is totally different to the stuff you see on tv. There's no "when I click my fingers you'll be under" nonsense. It's all done with vocal techniques.

You don't need to rely on your neph to send you to a hypnotherapist. You can find plenty of them on the internet and contact them that way. You don't even need to tell your neph that you're looking into it so that completely negates the trust concerns that you mention.

The bottom line is you have to be willing to help yourself. You won't know whether hypnotherapy works until you try it. Instead of having a defeatist attitude and saying "it won't work" try being a bit more positive and thinking that perhaps it might work.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: Nephrologista on September 14, 2010, 12:39:22 PM
I agree, desensitization therapy for phobias is very effective. 

For patients that can't swallow binders, some can chew Tums.  They can be a problem if your calcium is too high, though.  Fosrenol is another binder that can be crushed to a tasteless powder and sprinkled over your food.  It's very expensive and relatively new, but I'd rather have a patient on Fosrenol than on no binder with an extremely high phosphorus.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 14, 2010, 02:11:39 PM
I agree, desensitization therapy for phobias is very effective. 

For patients that can't swallow binders, some can chew Tums.  They can be a problem if your calcium is too high, though.  Fosrenol is another binder that can be crushed to a tasteless powder and sprinkled over your food.  It's very expensive and relatively new, but I'd rather have a patient on Fosrenol than on no binder with an extremely high phosphorus.

Tried it for about 3 to 4 months now my social worker thinks my phobia is getting worse since i been trying desenstion. I am at the point of giving up just run away and die i feel there is no hope for me after this cather is taken out. I hear it all the time from my techs and nurses even had one tech wave a needle in front of me she thought i was joking but she almost got her butt kicked i wish they could just knock me out that would be the easyest way to put them needles in but was told they can't do that
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: Phil on September 14, 2010, 02:19:25 PM
Before starting HD I was really worried about the needles....but when I went in for my first session they used the 17's on me....which aren't small granted....but I was expecting them to be much bigger. Then they told me that once my fistula was mature enough they would work their way up to 16's, then finally the 15's. This actually helped me because i got used to them gradually.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: RichardMEL on September 14, 2010, 06:51:19 PM
good point Phil. Our unit does that first - start with the 17s. Also with the cream and stuff it doesn't have to hurt. I don't use locals or cream anymore and it's just not an issue, but I don't have the phobia that the OP does which sounds dreadfully crippling. We used to have a guy at our unit who didn't exactly have a phobia, but he was a *BIG* guy and he used to kick the nurses and thrash about and stuff sometimes when they wanted to needle him (and yes, I've seen a big man cry). They had to get security to come hold him down sometimes. I felt so desperately sorry witnessing that. Luckily he calmed down eventually and got used to it.. as far as I know he's doing well now (he shifted units).

Dialysis is life, and the needles (for HD) are part of that.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 14, 2010, 09:06:48 PM
thats wrong on all counts you do not hold down a person who is afraid of needles thats wrong i don't even go to my chair if they have the wrong needles out and i had them walking around me and i was waiting for there first move and people will go flying im like a person in rage when it comes to needles
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: RichardMEL on September 14, 2010, 09:15:45 PM
Yeah it's a difficult one. The main issue with this guy that they had to get security for was that he wasn't so bad putting the needles in (well he hated it, and he yelled and stuff, but he was "okay" with it) but he'd fall asleep and then try and pull his needles out, or roll over his lines or something like that and he would be in such a deep sleep(almost coma like) that they could not rouse him, but he'd start kicking out at the nurses trying to move him off his lines or to stop him unconsciously pulling his needles out. So the security guys really were there for the nurses safety - I mean you can't be trying to help someone when they're kicking at you. When he could finally be roused (a whole other issue) he of course claimed to know nothing about it. I remember one time he got up out of his chair, luckily his needles had been taken out, still asleep and a number of us chased him down the hall way and down stairs. I was one of them who went after him and he was *walking and snoring* (it was so surreal). One other time he walked out of the hospital and accross a busy road.....?!?!

Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 14, 2010, 09:47:42 PM
it is a crippling don't know what i am going to do social worker said her sessios are makeing it worse plus have big issues with the charge nurse being rude and treating us like we are stupid ass manger told me she just gets fustraded well then i say get her some help to take the load off don't give me this i will tell her to be nice crap it doesn't work but thats  a different story  any way something must have happened in my past i can't remember i am remembering this saying that comes to mind I will never let them stick me again like a promise i made myself back then I hope i don't seam to winy and make people mad  at me but i do need some kind of help 
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: romanyscarlett on September 15, 2010, 02:23:33 AM
I know Oklahoma is a big place so I'm not sure whether any of these links will be of any use to you but I figured I'd post them anyway just in case.

http://www.colemanshypnotherapyclinic.com/colemanshypnotherapyokcok.html

http://www.yellowpages.com/oklahoma-city-ok/hypnotherapy

http://hypnosisokc.net/

There is no harm in finding out how much hypnotherapy costs in your area and asking whether any of these people think they can help you. Like I said before, hypnotherapy has changed my life. You keep saying you need help so why not let them try and be of some assistance to you? You can't know for sure whether it will work unless you try but it's up to you to take the first steps. You won't get over your fear unless you take action. 
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: Epofriend on September 18, 2010, 08:06:30 PM
Needlefobe,

Clearly you are being dialyzed via a catheter (chest catheter, I believe, based on an earlier post). So why are you skipping dialysis sessions?
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 18, 2010, 08:21:04 PM
Needlefobe,

Clearly you are being dialyzed via a catheter (chest catheter, I believe, based on an earlier post). So why are you skipping dialysis sessions?

Because we have a charge nurse that is rude and hateful to the pac and me they won't do nothing about her besides slap her hand and say be nice. I asked foir another nurse and she wanted to argue right there in front of everybody she refused to let me have another nurse so i walked out and skipped that day i asked if they could put her in another sec nope can't do it she is a charge nurse and like a doctor she has certaiain people to take care of well if that is the case i do what i do to doctors she fired want another nurse they won't give in they all are takeing her side so I choose to skip treatments on the day she is there and it has been working out pretty good
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: aharris2 on September 18, 2010, 09:10:18 PM
Nf, there seems to be 3 issues:

1. Dialyzing without needles - You have this handled with the chest catheter. The center will annoy you about it because they want everyone to have a fistula or graft. There is a danger of infection with a catheter, but fistulas and grafts are not for everybody. My brother has had his catheter tunnel for 4 years with the catheter changed once because the old on started to fall out. He has had no problems with infections (note that grafts and fistulas can also become infected.) You can't be forced to opt for something other than a catheter if that's what you want.

2. The b***h charge nurse - This lady is making you hurt yourself. You say you're ok skipping treatments, and so it seems until you're not - then you find yourself in the emergency room. Does she work all shifts on all days? Perhaps you can switch to a different shift to get away from her.

3. Needle Phobia - It appears that this stands between you and a transplant. It also appears that there is no one competent at your unit to get you past the phobia and you have other issues at the unit so I would remove that issue from the unit. Dialyze needle free there and have your phobia treated elsewhere.

Best wishes Nf, I hope things get better for you!
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: RichardMEL on September 18, 2010, 10:09:51 PM
Through skipping treatments you're just doing further damage to yourself - not to mention the whole issue of being labelled noncompliant - which is what you are. What is this awful charge nurse doing to you that you dislike so much? Can't you just ignore her? In my unit there's the equivalent (a senior nurse who is "boss" for some of the shifts I am on) - he's done some jerk things to me that I've not appreciated. I told him directly once I didn't appreciate the way he acted and that it wasn't reasonable when we have enough to deal with at dialysis. He just shrugged it off like it didn't matter.. so I basically just ignore him. Luckily he NEVER looks after me (I think he's figured out it's best to leave well enough alone, so always assigns others to look after me, and they all like me and sometimes "fight" to put me on or take me off, so that is all good :) ). I mean is what the charge nurse doing - does it affect your treatment in any way? Does she not grant you medical requests or is she just rude to you - and is this related to your needle thing - as in she is pushing you to deal with needles etc?

There must be some way you can still get treatment and deal with this person. We all have situations where people we have to work with oir spend time with annoy us.. sometime syou just have to put up with it. Seems like you've complained heaps and they won't do much - perhaps this charge nurse is very experienced and highly respected (much like mine) and well if there's a personality clash (like with mine) there's not a lot you can do.

I do implore you to NOT skip treatments... that is a very bad road for you to go down.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 18, 2010, 10:33:22 PM
I know it is bad to skip treatments but i talked and talked untill im blue in the face not getting nowhere she is the best of the best but she lacks people skills for sure I tried to ignore her and let her asse me but what did she do grabed my arm started shakeing it got in my face and i finally told her to get away from me. from what i was told by ass manager is she gets fustraded when pac ask questions so that tells me get her some help she has more on her plate than she can chew I asked to see if they could put her in a different sec was told no  she is like a doctor she has people to care for well if thats the case i do what i am going to do to my doctor your fired i want another nurse there is always 2 nurses on the floor so whats the prob with the other nurse dealing with me. it seams she is a favorite amonge bosses cause they have seen her get down right rude to pac and they did nothing about it. To me is is not fair for me to be tied to a chair and have her being rude and hateful and looking down on me like im stupid and she is so smart cause she has a nurses license :Kit n Stik;
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: sumalee on September 18, 2010, 10:46:45 PM
needlephobic, you may have mentioned the answer to this question so please forgive me, but why don't you do PD?

I don't have room in my house for all the supplies and the machine. I don't want tubes comming out of my gut. might have toi change my members name to dead man walking lol

Hey I am on PD. I have a tubes coming out from my tummy but not that bad really. I do hate dialysis  and am scare a needle. PD give me freedom I do at home when I go to bed. I have free time during the day I can go to work or do what ever I want. If I want to go out at night I can start later when I get home. I am sorry to hear about you have problem with a nurse and a social worker I hope you can sort things out. 
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: kristina on September 19, 2010, 02:42:04 AM
I hope you find help to sort this out!
I have not yet started Dialysis yet (my kidneys still function ~10%),
but I have talked to a few Dialysis-patients in my district
& their stories sound very grim and frightening as well!
Perhaps that explains why I try so very hard to keep my kidneys functioning for as long as possible.
Dialysis is a logical step forward if we wish to continue our life as best as we can, despite our kidney failure,
& we certainly should not be pushed away from medical help when we need it most urgently!
I do hope you find a way forward soon!
Best wishes from Kristina.

Title: Re: Its hopeless update
Post by: needlephobic on September 23, 2010, 03:00:13 PM
They tried sticking me today with a 17g needle couldn't do it i freaked out and panic the nurse said we will try again sat oh lord  :banghead;
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: YLGuy on September 23, 2010, 03:42:45 PM
It is good that you are at least willing to try again.  :thumbup;
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: Quickfeet on September 24, 2010, 04:08:15 AM
I have had a some major problems with needles. Several times I have passed out during blood draws. A friend told me to watch them stick me and think about how interesting it was. I also remind myself that it's only pain and there won't be any real damage. Oh and I have to remember to breathe. Basically I try to keep my mind busy with things so it can't focus on all the things that could go wrong. I have gotten to the point where I can tolerate three attempts (I am very hard to get blood from). But if they are brave enough to try a fourth, I either vomit everywhere or passout.

Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: Hazmat35 on September 24, 2010, 06:44:17 AM
My biggest fear in life is needles.  Even "regular" blood tests, I use to PASS OUT from drawing one vial of blood.  Luckily it has taken me 40 years to get over it, but now I can have a blood test normally, and laugh it off. 

I just new that when I started Dialysis that I would freak out, and I did.  I developed Panic Attacks just thinking about it.  My social worker gave me DEEP BREATHING exercises to do, which really did help, but my Neph gave me Xanaxx to take, 1 hour before I get there to help me relax.  I don't know if it works, or  if "MY MIND" makes the pills work, anyway, it does. 

I don't watch them do it.  My natural defense mechanism when I am scared is to make jokes, so I joke with the Techs while they are doing it!  Plus, having a nice mellow buzz, I think it makes my jokes even funnier (yeah right!). 

You have to put your mind out of it, and "go some where" in your mind, where they aren't sticking you with needles.  It is all a mind game you have to play with yourself. 
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: KICKSTART on September 24, 2010, 07:14:22 AM
Has anyone ever got a needle in you ? (not just for dialysis) I too have a chest cath in and im dreading the 'needle' time, but sometimes its the unknown that makes it seem worse. But i used to be fine with blood tests , they used to have to get it out the back of my hand, so i dont know why im panicking. Rather than face you with full blown dialysis needles, can you not sit and let them just try and take a small blood sample , just to get you used to a needle. The thing is the more you worry about it , the bigger the worry gets.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: billybags on September 24, 2010, 10:28:14 AM
needlephobic, is there any way you could see a hypnotist, to see if that would work. Just a thought.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 24, 2010, 10:46:44 AM
needlephobic, is there any way you could see a hypnotist, to see if that would work. Just a thought.
Thought about it but you must be willing and im always on guard so really don't think it will work
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: MooseMom on September 24, 2010, 01:42:41 PM
needlephobic, is there any way you could see a hypnotist, to see if that would work. Just a thought.
Thought about it but you must be willing and im always on guard so really don't think it will work

Please don't dismiss this option too quickly.  Surely you are "willing" to overcome your phobia!  Most people are always "on guard".  Fear itself puts you "on guard".  Could you maybe think about it a bit, maybe consult a hypnotherapist and explain the situation?  It couldn't hurt.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 24, 2010, 02:06:25 PM
needlephobic, is there any way you could see a hypnotist, to see if that would work. Just a thought.
Thought about it but you must be willing and im always on guard so really don't think it will work

Please don't dismiss this option too quickly.  Surely you are "willing" to overcome your phobia!  Most people are always "on guard".  Fear itself puts you "on guard".  Could you maybe think about it a bit, maybe consult a hypnotherapist and explain the situation?  It couldn't hurt.
Have thought about and i did contact one and he told me it don't work on everybody  you must be willing i can be willing but my mind will be on guard my fear is horrable its whaat got me into this mess in the first place skipping lab test when first sick couldn't do and when i did they had to get a group of people in there to hold me down when i faced the needle thursday nurse said with poor choise of words lets give it a SHOT they tried i panic and freaked out couldn't do it
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: MooseMom on September 24, 2010, 02:13:49 PM
I understand that your fear is profound.  But you deserve the opportunity to overcome it.  The hypnotherapist is right...it doesn't work on everyone, but you won't know unless you explore the opportunity.  It is a process.  It is a matter of gently and patiently removing the layers of your fear piece by piece.  You have nothing to lose because nothing else has even come close to helping you.  You deserve optimal dialysis just like everyone else does, and you deserve all the help necessary to get it. :cuddle;
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: RichardMEL on September 24, 2010, 06:22:47 PM
What about somne kind of (oral) med to relax you before treatment? I read soimewhere else here someone mention their neph perscribing xanax prior to treatment and that really helped them - have you explored something like that?

What if they knocked you out prior to treatment (no, not a punch to the head!!  :boxing;) - though I understand you mentioned you freaked out when you woke up with needles in you. Maybe some sort of strong sedative might help though?
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 24, 2010, 06:42:16 PM
What about somne kind of (oral) med to relax you before treatment? I read soimewhere else here someone mention their neph perscribing xanax prior to treatment and that really helped them - have you explored something like that?

What if they knocked you out prior to treatment (no, not a punch to the head!!  :boxing;) - though I understand you mentioned you freaked out when you woke up with needles in you. Maybe some sort of strong sedative might help though?
I have zanax but i don't want to get adictive ot it as them knocking me out they won't and can't  but i did try to face my fear when talking to the nurse about it she used some poor choice of words she said lets give it a SHOT
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: romanyscarlett on September 25, 2010, 04:18:28 AM
I'm always on guard and hypnotherapy worked wonders for me. I don't really understand why you won't give it a go. If there is even a slim possibility of it helping you then it's got to be better than nothing.

I've already explained in this topic how I used to be before I had hypnotherapy. On Wednesday I was told they wanted to use a thicker needle. I was actually able to hold it and have a good look at it. Before I was hypnotized, if someone had even suggested looking at a needle I'd have had a panic attack.

Another thing that really helped me overcome my fear was a pen in the shape of a needle. In conjunction with my hypnotherapy I would pick up the pen and hold it near my arm as if I was going to inject myself. In the beginning I could barely pick it up even though I knew it was a pen but as time went on I was able to hold it and now I write with it all the time.

I sometimes come across as a bit harsh because of my no-nonsense British attitude but no offense is ever intended. You do need to take proactive steps to get over your fear though. It's no good sitting on a computer moaning about it if you're not willing to help yourself. Multiple people on here have told you to investigate hypnotherapy and I even posted some links to hypnotists in your area so we're all doing our best to help but ultimately it's down to you.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: Restorer on September 25, 2010, 12:55:49 PM
I've read that Xanax is best used as a short-term aid to help you cope with your fears while you're exposed to them, to learn that they're not as bad as you fear. You won't get addicted to Xanax by taking it three times, or even six times (two weeks). If you were to take a Xanax, and it helped you not freak out while being stuck with a needle, do you think then it would help you get more used to it? At the right dose, Xanax doesn't zonk you out, it just makes everything okay. I've had a relatively large dose of Ativan (same type of drug) in the hospital before a surgery, and once it took full effect, nothing felt any different (no high, no buzz, no obvious effects), except that I felt more secure and less anxious.

I think hypnotherapy is a good option too. It's all about relaxing. A good hypnotherapist might be able to get around your "on guard" personality.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 25, 2010, 03:36:59 PM
I've read that Xanax is best used as a short-term aid to help you cope with your fears while you're exposed to them, to learn that they're not as bad as you fear. You won't get addicted to Xanax by taking it three times, or even six times (two weeks). If you were to take a Xanax, and it helped you not freak out while being stuck with a needle, do you think then it would help you get more used to it? At the right dose, Xanax doesn't zonk you out, it just makes everything okay. I've had a relatively large dose of Ativan (same type of drug) in the hospital before a surgery, and once it took full effect, nothing felt any different (no high, no buzz, no obvious effects), except that I felt more secure and less anxious.

I think hypnotherapy is a good option too. It's all about relaxing. A good hypnotherapist might be able to get around your "on guard" personality.

I tried xanax once during a session i was in with the social worker when we were working on my needle phobia i was very calm and we talked about how and where they was going to stick me so she invited a tech in to tell me she looked at my fistula and told me she be right back to show me something and left at that moment i froze in fear couldn't do nothing i just colasped  social worker had to calm me back down and wouldn't let the tech back in for awhile she could tell i was scared and i hated that feeling like being helpless I am very new to all of this dialysis stuff and pretty darn scared its like nothing is in my control tried to talk to charge nurse about my treatment  what meds they were putting in me and she just gets rude doc i can't get a straight answer from him never met my treatment team and you would figure i would have met with them before i started dialysis. I am willing to give the hypnotherapist a try who knows it just might work what have i got to loose besides my life about the only thing i got left besides a wonderful woman that has been by my side through all of this.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: Steve-0 on September 25, 2010, 03:41:31 PM
Hey, I know it's tough.  I hated needles before I became a dialysis patient.  Was downright petrified of them - I used to do everything to avoid them.

I had to tell myself, when I started dialysis, "The needles won't kill me.  Not doing dialysis will."

Good luck with everything.


~Steve
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: looneytunes on September 25, 2010, 05:19:09 PM
Hi Needlephobic....I'm sorry I'm just now reading this thread.  I can SO relate to this. There is a name for your condition, it's called Trypanophobia and I'm one too.   To the same degree, I will kick, run, fight, bite, whatever it takes to get away from the needle.  Even had a phlebotomist file assualt charges against me once.  Though my doctor had left orders to not stick me until I was sedated, this woman said it was "policy" and she had to try.  The next thing I remember is having her up against a wall with my hands around her throat.  And, I'm not a very big person....LOL!  The charges were dropped at the urging of the hospital.  I DO understand the fear.  I am a caregiver to my hubby and we currently do home-hemo with the NxStage.  After about 2 years of using syringes to draw heparin and put it into a line and several months of using his chest catheter, the big moment came in August of this year.  I had to stick him with needles.  He had had a couple of infections that were suspected as related to the chest catheter, so it came out and all we had left was his fistula.  The first few times, my guts were shaking, (so were my hands and knees), I was in a cold sweat and felt like throwing up.  After 2 months, I am able to do it efficiently though I still hate it.  And, now I could even stick myself. 

If you were to handle a syringe with a needle to stick an orange, or some other object several times a day in the privacy of your own home, maybe that would help you get past the fear of just seeing one.  Then maybe a sedative for a few times while you are being stuck would allow you a little relax time to get used to it.   Just a thought for you.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: Restorer on September 25, 2010, 05:31:03 PM
I am willing to give the hypnotherapist a try who knows it just might work what have i got to loose besides my life about the only thing i got left besides a wonderful woman that has been by my side through all of this.
Try to find a hypnotherapist who deals with phobias and people resistant to hypnosis. There are methods they can use to "confuse" or distract the part of your mind that's resisting.

Also, the idea of sticking an orange is good. When I had to administer my own Procrit at home, I just couldn't stick myself. It took up to an hour of aborted tries and false starts each time, and when I finally started to get it in, I had to go really slowly. I tried it with an orange, and it was easier.


To be fair, I was more afraid of the pain than the needle itself, but it was a vicious circle. If I had been able to go quickly, it wouldn't have hurt. It was still a fear of being stuck.
Title: Re: Its hopeless
Post by: needlephobic on September 26, 2010, 06:04:22 PM
I am willing to give the hypnotherapist a try who knows it just might work what have i got to loose besides my life about the only thing i got left besides a wonderful woman that has been by my side through all of this.
Try to find a hypnotherapist who deals with phobias and people resistant to hypnosis. There are methods they can use to "confuse" or distract the part of your mind that's resisting.

Also, the idea of sticking an orange is good. When I had to administer my own Procrit at home, I just couldn't stick myself. It took up to an hour of aborted tries and false starts each time, and when I finally started to get it in, I had to go really slowly. I tried it with an orange, and it was easier.


To be fair, I was more afraid of the pain than the needle itself, but it was a vicious circle. If I had been able to go quickly, it wouldn't have hurt. It was still a fear of being stuck.

Sticking a orange yeah right I freakout at the sight of a needle :o or when they say shot  :o but will give a hynotherapist a call at least take that step Lord help me  :banghead;