Its hopeless

[needlephobic]

Don't think I'll ever get over my needle phobia. My social worker wants me to set and look at a needle for 4 hours she said that would help has she forgot I freak out over needles its a hopeless cause looks like im doomed no needles no dialysis I thought about the home thing don't want tubes comming out of my stomice and i don't have room for it and the supplies so I don't know what i am going to do. Pluss at my center i got a charge nurse from hell that hates me she is rude cause she is a nurse and i am a stupid pac and they won't do nothing about her they all take her side knowing she does me wrong and the other pac too

[RichardMEL]

I'm not really over my needle phobia and I've been doing D for over 4 years.

I just don't look when the stick it in. I look elsewhere and go to a happy place (usually thinking about girls  ) or joke with the tech or whatever (yes I know, unwise to make a nurse with a big needle laugh, but they manage to stick me just fine). I find it works for me. I can look now when they take them out, but only really because I need to to be ready to hold my spots etc, and that's ok.. but going in.. nope I can't watch.

I am just a big wuss.

 

[Rerun]

Ask your doc for a seditive.  Something to calm your before you go in.  I had to do that for the first six months.  I still hate needles after 5 years.  I bite my finger really hard and look the other way.  They jump back and say does that hurt..??  I say "no, but it might".  I use the lidocane needles and those hurt but I'd rather have that then the huge needles with no pain killer!

Try the seditive.  Then you won't give a shit!

[casper2636]

I, too, hate needles, but, unfortunately, it's a fact of our lives. I look in another direction and hold my breath. Counting to ten also helps...it gives you something to concentrate on. I'm sorry to here about your nurse. Can you complain to management? In my clinic we have two nurses on duty, and if you don't like a tech or a nurse you can request to never have that person work on you again. Is this an option? I'll be thinking of you!

[jbeany]

4 hours straight?  Is she crazy?  Shouldn't a social worker have some idea of the basic concepts of behavioral therapy?  The point is to introduce the thing you are phobic about in small, gradually increasing increments.  Start with a picture of a dialysis needle.  Look at it with a kitchen timer running, starting with a time you think you can handle.  10 seconds, 30 seconds, a couple minutes - whatever you can deal with, no matter how little that is at the start.  Push yourself to look at it a bit longer a couple times a day, every day, working up until you can see it all the time without it bothering you.  Find a mantra or some calming thing you can do that helps you deal - like repeat "I'm fine; I can handle this." or rub a worry stone.  Then you get the real needle - a small one to start, like the tiny ones they use for insulin that are half an inch long and no wider than a human hair.  Repeat the same process.  Then bigger needles until you get one of the ones they use for dialysis.  You still may want that sedative for D, because they are not just showing you the needle for that, but at least the sight of the needle wouldn't be as bad, and then you can start on the same process for having them insert the needles.  And no, you never have to watch if you don't want to!

Hey, I pretty much fainted every time they simply pulled the needles at the end of the run when I started, and I eventually learned to stick myself.  It can be done, it just takes a lot more time than 4 hours!

[needlephobic]

my prob is when somebody comes at me with a needle i don't faint i fight and i mean i fight tooth and nail and being in that so called confortable chair with somebody going to stick me they are going to have a heck of a fight. and casper I did talk with the ass manager who has seen her be rude to other pac and won't do nothing about it cause she is the best of the best and they expect me to lie in a chair with tubes running everywhere and take her crap don't think so I talked to social worker about it and asked her if she went to a resturant and got crappy service would she go back she said no and I asked why should i go back to dialysis if i got crappy sevice she couldn't answer me yes I have skipped treatments I know it is bas for me but I have no where to go have no car and this place is a couple of blocks away from me. and I even asked for a different nurse and she wanted to argue with me there on the floor infront of every body so i don't know im doomed i guess 

[JScott1753]

It can be difficult using the dialysis needles; I usually firmly grab the end/side of the chair arm as a preparation. One thing I have started doing is making sure the tech inserts the needles in a quick/sure motion. With the sharps, s-l-o-w insertion is more painful, at least for me.
With all due respect, that nurse, due to the way she treats you, is *not* one of the best!
Jon

[okarol]

needlephobic, you may have mentioned the answer to this question so please forgive me, but why don't you do PD?

[YLGuy]

I thought about the home thing don't want tubes comming out of my stomice and i don't have room for it and the supplies so I don't know what i am going to do.

You really should not skip sessions.  I am sorry I do not have an answer for you. 

[needlephobic]

needlephobic, you may have mentioned the answer to this question so please forgive me, but why don't you do PD?

I don't have room in my house for all the supplies and the machine. I don't want tubes comming out of my gut. might have toi change my members name to dead man walking lol 

[okarol]

needlephobic, you may have mentioned the answer to this question so please forgive me, but why don't you do PD?

I don't have room in my house for all the supplies and the machine. I don't want tubes comming out of my gut. might have toi change my members name to dead man walking lol

Ooops, now I see it, it's a the beginning of the thread, sorry about that.
If you cannot bear needle sticks, and you don't want a PD tube (it's one, not plural) I guess the only option is to stick with chest catheters as long as you can. Most doctors do not recommend this for long periods of time, but it's your choice. What about a transplant? Have you considered that?

[needlephobic]

yes i thought about it I do have 2 live donors but we come to the test with needles thats what got me into this mess anyway I just so scared of them things I just know something bad is going to happen I don't trust what the nurse sticks in my tube at dialysis people and machines make mistakes. My social worker had me face my fear by putting a dialysis needle in front of me about arm reach and i was like a little baby in that chair i was in a fetal postion telling her to get it way from me and she wouldn't and just today she tried something different i wasn't aware she cut the needle part off but she wanted me to tape the tube on my arm i freaked out she showed me no needle so i did hold the tube but she is trying to hurry this up because she retires in Jan

[okarol]

I am about as needlephobic as anyone I know. Every time they stuck a needle in Jenna's arm for dialysis, I could not look. The thought of it even now makes me queasy (and it's not even MY arm!) She is much braver than I. I think if I had to start hemodialysis tomorrow, I would need some sedative, something to keep me calm. But I would do it, because I want to live. I hope your donors come through, I hope you can do what it takes to get transplanted.
By the way, that social worker is one messed up crazy person. Hopefully her retirement is sooner than later.

[galvo]

Needlephobic, your problem is serious and if you continue to miss sessions, you will be in big trouble. Seriously big trouble! You can't handle needles, you don't want pd, you can't proceed down the transplant path (and you have two live donors lined up, and the charge nurse hates you!!!!!

You have to get professional help and get it now.

[romanyscarlett]

Would you consider having hypnotherapy? I had some before I started dialysis and it's changed my life.

Before I had hypnotherapy I was incredibly needlephobic. Whenever I had a blood test I'd have a panic attack, I'd be in floods of tears and I've passed out a few times. It was the same if I saw a needle on tv.

I really didn't like the idea of PD so I knew I had to get over my fear of needles. My neph sent me to the renal psychologist to discuss my fear and she offered to hypnotize me. It's painless, there are no needles anywhere in the vicinity whilst it's being done and it was free so I figured I'd give it a shot.

I can't believe how scared I used to be. I still don't like needles but I'm not afraid of them anymore. I look the other way while they're putting them in but I no longer cry or hyperventilate. I credit the renal psychologist with saving my life because if it wasn't for her there would be no way I'd be having dialysis.

You've got nothing lose and everything to gain so it's worth looking into.

[MooseMom]

I LOVE the hypnotherapy idea!!

[RichardMEL]

me too. It's a very positive idea.

It sounds like this fear is cripling you, and given that you don't want to have a PD access, it's something you have to conquer some way or other, or you're in big trouble (sorry).

I hope that you can find something that works for you to allow you to have treatments.

[Poppylicious]

I LOVE the hypnotherapy idea!!

Me too!

[needlephobic]

Ask your doc for a seditive.  Something to calm your before you go in.  I had to do that for the first six months.  I still hate needles after 5 years.  I bite my finger really hard and look the other way.  They jump back and say does that hurt..??  I say "no, but it might".  I use the lidocane needles and those hurt but I'd rather have that then the huge needles with no pain killer!

Try the seditive.  Then you won't give a shit!

Well my neph is a jerk can't trust him he wanted me to take the meds that are very adictive i do not like takeing meds and i really don't want to reliey on then and get adictive to them I hate the binders they are to hard to get down i choke on them . as for hypnotize don't think they can do it to me i am always on guard I have trust issues thanks to my dialysis center and my neph can't trust my neph why should i trust somebody he sends me too 

[romanyscarlett]

I was convinced that hypnotherapy wouldn't work for me but it did. I've been to hypnotherapy entertainment shows in the past and I've been the one of the only people that couldn't be hypnotized. I also don't fall for "suggestion" magic tricks. I have a naturally suspicious personality and I was certain that hypnotherapy would be a waste of time.

I am pleased to say that I couldn't have been more wrong. Hypnotherapy for phobias is totally different to the stuff you see on tv. There's no "when I click my fingers you'll be under" nonsense. It's all done with vocal techniques.

You don't need to rely on your neph to send you to a hypnotherapist. You can find plenty of them on the internet and contact them that way. You don't even need to tell your neph that you're looking into it so that completely negates the trust concerns that you mention.

The bottom line is you have to be willing to help yourself. You won't know whether hypnotherapy works until you try it. Instead of having a defeatist attitude and saying "it won't work" try being a bit more positive and thinking that perhaps it might work.

[Nephrologista]

I agree, desensitization therapy for phobias is very effective. 

For patients that can't swallow binders, some can chew Tums.  They can be a problem if your calcium is too high, though.  Fosrenol is another binder that can be crushed to a tasteless powder and sprinkled over your food.  It's very expensive and relatively new, but I'd rather have a patient on Fosrenol than on no binder with an extremely high phosphorus.

[needlephobic]

I agree, desensitization therapy for phobias is very effective. 

For patients that can't swallow binders, some can chew Tums.  They can be a problem if your calcium is too high, though.  Fosrenol is another binder that can be crushed to a tasteless powder and sprinkled over your food.  It's very expensive and relatively new, but I'd rather have a patient on Fosrenol than on no binder with an extremely high phosphorus.

Tried it for about 3 to 4 months now my social worker thinks my phobia is getting worse since i been trying desenstion. I am at the point of giving up just run away and die i feel there is no hope for me after this cather is taken out. I hear it all the time from my techs and nurses even had one tech wave a needle in front of me she thought i was joking but she almost got her butt kicked i wish they could just knock me out that would be the easyest way to put them needles in but was told they can't do that

[Phil]

Before starting HD I was really worried about the needles....but when I went in for my first session they used the 17's on me....which aren't small granted....but I was expecting them to be much bigger. Then they told me that once my fistula was mature enough they would work their way up to 16's, then finally the 15's. This actually helped me because i got used to them gradually.

[RichardMEL]

good point Phil. Our unit does that first - start with the 17s. Also with the cream and stuff it doesn't have to hurt. I don't use locals or cream anymore and it's just not an issue, but I don't have the phobia that the OP does which sounds dreadfully crippling. We used to have a guy at our unit who didn't exactly have a phobia, but he was a *BIG* guy and he used to kick the nurses and thrash about and stuff sometimes when they wanted to needle him (and yes, I've seen a big man cry). They had to get security to come hold him down sometimes. I felt so desperately sorry witnessing that. Luckily he calmed down eventually and got used to it.. as far as I know he's doing well now (he shifted units).

Dialysis is life, and the needles (for HD) are part of that.

[needlephobic]

thats wrong on all counts you do not hold down a person who is afraid of needles thats wrong i don't even go to my chair if they have the wrong needles out and i had them walking around me and i was waiting for there first move and people will go flying im like a person in rage when it comes to needles