Its hopeless

[RichardMEL]

Yeah it's a difficult one. The main issue with this guy that they had to get security for was that he wasn't so bad putting the needles in (well he hated it, and he yelled and stuff, but he was "okay" with it) but he'd fall asleep and then try and pull his needles out, or roll over his lines or something like that and he would be in such a deep sleep(almost coma like) that they could not rouse him, but he'd start kicking out at the nurses trying to move him off his lines or to stop him unconsciously pulling his needles out. So the security guys really were there for the nurses safety - I mean you can't be trying to help someone when they're kicking at you. When he could finally be roused (a whole other issue) he of course claimed to know nothing about it. I remember one time he got up out of his chair, luckily his needles had been taken out, still asleep and a number of us chased him down the hall way and down stairs. I was one of them who went after him and he was *walking and snoring* (it was so surreal). One other time he walked out of the hospital and accross a busy road.....?!?!

[needlephobic]

it is a crippling don't know what i am going to do social worker said her sessios are makeing it worse plus have big issues with the charge nurse being rude and treating us like we are stupid ass manger told me she just gets fustraded well then i say get her some help to take the load off don't give me this i will tell her to be nice crap it doesn't work but thats  a different story  any way something must have happened in my past i can't remember i am remembering this saying that comes to mind I will never let them stick me again like a promise i made myself back then I hope i don't seam to winy and make people mad  at me but i do need some kind of help 

[romanyscarlett]

I know Oklahoma is a big place so I'm not sure whether any of these links will be of any use to you but I figured I'd post them anyway just in case.

http://www.colemanshypnotherapyclinic.com/colemanshypnotherapyokcok.html

http://www.yellowpages.com/oklahoma-city-ok/hypnotherapy

http://hypnosisokc.net/

There is no harm in finding out how much hypnotherapy costs in your area and asking whether any of these people think they can help you. Like I said before, hypnotherapy has changed my life. You keep saying you need help so why not let them try and be of some assistance to you? You can't know for sure whether it will work unless you try but it's up to you to take the first steps. You won't get over your fear unless you take action. 

[Epofriend]

Needlefobe,

Clearly you are being dialyzed via a catheter (chest catheter, I believe, based on an earlier post). So why are you skipping dialysis sessions?

[needlephobic]

Needlefobe,

Clearly you are being dialyzed via a catheter (chest catheter, I believe, based on an earlier post). So why are you skipping dialysis sessions?

Because we have a charge nurse that is rude and hateful to the pac and me they won't do nothing about her besides slap her hand and say be nice. I asked foir another nurse and she wanted to argue right there in front of everybody she refused to let me have another nurse so i walked out and skipped that day i asked if they could put her in another sec nope can't do it she is a charge nurse and like a doctor she has certaiain people to take care of well if that is the case i do what i do to doctors she fired want another nurse they won't give in they all are takeing her side so I choose to skip treatments on the day she is there and it has been working out pretty good

[aharris2]

Nf, there seems to be 3 issues:

1. Dialyzing without needles - You have this handled with the chest catheter. The center will annoy you about it because they want everyone to have a fistula or graft. There is a danger of infection with a catheter, but fistulas and grafts are not for everybody. My brother has had his catheter tunnel for 4 years with the catheter changed once because the old on started to fall out. He has had no problems with infections (note that grafts and fistulas can also become infected.) You can't be forced to opt for something other than a catheter if that's what you want.

2. The b***h charge nurse - This lady is making you hurt yourself. You say you're ok skipping treatments, and so it seems until you're not - then you find yourself in the emergency room. Does she work all shifts on all days? Perhaps you can switch to a different shift to get away from her.

3. Needle Phobia - It appears that this stands between you and a transplant. It also appears that there is no one competent at your unit to get you past the phobia and you have other issues at the unit so I would remove that issue from the unit. Dialyze needle free there and have your phobia treated elsewhere.

Best wishes Nf, I hope things get better for you!

[RichardMEL]

Through skipping treatments you're just doing further damage to yourself - not to mention the whole issue of being labelled noncompliant - which is what you are. What is this awful charge nurse doing to you that you dislike so much? Can't you just ignore her? In my unit there's the equivalent (a senior nurse who is "boss" for some of the shifts I am on) - he's done some jerk things to me that I've not appreciated. I told him directly once I didn't appreciate the way he acted and that it wasn't reasonable when we have enough to deal with at dialysis. He just shrugged it off like it didn't matter.. so I basically just ignore him. Luckily he NEVER looks after me (I think he's figured out it's best to leave well enough alone, so always assigns others to look after me, and they all like me and sometimes "fight" to put me on or take me off, so that is all good ). I mean is what the charge nurse doing - does it affect your treatment in any way? Does she not grant you medical requests or is she just rude to you - and is this related to your needle thing - as in she is pushing you to deal with needles etc?

There must be some way you can still get treatment and deal with this person. We all have situations where people we have to work with oir spend time with annoy us.. sometime syou just have to put up with it. Seems like you've complained heaps and they won't do much - perhaps this charge nurse is very experienced and highly respected (much like mine) and well if there's a personality clash (like with mine) there's not a lot you can do.

I do implore you to NOT skip treatments... that is a very bad road for you to go down.

[needlephobic]

I know it is bad to skip treatments but i talked and talked untill im blue in the face not getting nowhere she is the best of the best but she lacks people skills for sure I tried to ignore her and let her asse me but what did she do grabed my arm started shakeing it got in my face and i finally told her to get away from me. from what i was told by ass manager is she gets fustraded when pac ask questions so that tells me get her some help she has more on her plate than she can chew I asked to see if they could put her in a different sec was told no  she is like a doctor she has people to care for well if thats the case i do what i am going to do to my doctor your fired i want another nurse there is always 2 nurses on the floor so whats the prob with the other nurse dealing with me. it seams she is a favorite amonge bosses cause they have seen her get down right rude to pac and they did nothing about it. To me is is not fair for me to be tied to a chair and have her being rude and hateful and looking down on me like im stupid and she is so smart cause she has a nurses license

[sumalee]

needlephobic, you may have mentioned the answer to this question so please forgive me, but why don't you do PD?

I don't have room in my house for all the supplies and the machine. I don't want tubes comming out of my gut. might have toi change my members name to dead man walking lol

Hey I am on PD. I have a tubes coming out from my tummy but not that bad really. I do hate dialysis  and am scare a needle. PD give me freedom I do at home when I go to bed. I have free time during the day I can go to work or do what ever I want. If I want to go out at night I can start later when I get home. I am sorry to hear about you have problem with a nurse and a social worker I hope you can sort things out. 

[kristina]

I hope you find help to sort this out!
I have not yet started Dialysis yet (my kidneys still function ~10%),
but I have talked to a few Dialysis-patients in my district
& their stories sound very grim and frightening as well!
Perhaps that explains why I try so very hard to keep my kidneys functioning for as long as possible.
Dialysis is a logical step forward if we wish to continue our life as best as we can, despite our kidney failure,
& we certainly should not be pushed away from medical help when we need it most urgently!
I do hope you find a way forward soon!
Best wishes from Kristina.

[needlephobic]

They tried sticking me today with a 17g needle couldn't do it i freaked out and panic the nurse said we will try again sat oh lord 

[YLGuy]

It is good that you are at least willing to try again. 

[Quickfeet]

I have had a some major problems with needles. Several times I have passed out during blood draws. A friend told me to watch them stick me and think about how interesting it was. I also remind myself that it's only pain and there won't be any real damage. Oh and I have to remember to breathe. Basically I try to keep my mind busy with things so it can't focus on all the things that could go wrong. I have gotten to the point where I can tolerate three attempts (I am very hard to get blood from). But if they are brave enough to try a fourth, I either vomit everywhere or passout.

[Hazmat35]

My biggest fear in life is needles.  Even "regular" blood tests, I use to PASS OUT from drawing one vial of blood.  Luckily it has taken me 40 years to get over it, but now I can have a blood test normally, and laugh it off. 

I just new that when I started Dialysis that I would freak out, and I did.  I developed Panic Attacks just thinking about it.  My social worker gave me DEEP BREATHING exercises to do, which really did help, but my Neph gave me Xanaxx to take, 1 hour before I get there to help me relax.  I don't know if it works, or  if "MY MIND" makes the pills work, anyway, it does. 

I don't watch them do it.  My natural defense mechanism when I am scared is to make jokes, so I joke with the Techs while they are doing it!  Plus, having a nice mellow buzz, I think it makes my jokes even funnier (yeah right!). 

You have to put your mind out of it, and "go some where" in your mind, where they aren't sticking you with needles.  It is all a mind game you have to play with yourself. 

[KICKSTART]

Has anyone ever got a needle in you ? (not just for dialysis) I too have a chest cath in and im dreading the 'needle' time, but sometimes its the unknown that makes it seem worse. But i used to be fine with blood tests , they used to have to get it out the back of my hand, so i dont know why im panicking. Rather than face you with full blown dialysis needles, can you not sit and let them just try and take a small blood sample , just to get you used to a needle. The thing is the more you worry about it , the bigger the worry gets.

[billybags]

needlephobic, is there any way you could see a hypnotist, to see if that would work. Just a thought.

[needlephobic]

needlephobic, is there any way you could see a hypnotist, to see if that would work. Just a thought.

Thought about it but you must be willing and im always on guard so really don't think it will work

[MooseMom]

needlephobic, is there any way you could see a hypnotist, to see if that would work. Just a thought.

Thought about it but you must be willing and im always on guard so really don't think it will work

Please don't dismiss this option too quickly.  Surely you are "willing" to overcome your phobia!  Most people are always "on guard".  Fear itself puts you "on guard".  Could you maybe think about it a bit, maybe consult a hypnotherapist and explain the situation?  It couldn't hurt.

[needlephobic]

needlephobic, is there any way you could see a hypnotist, to see if that would work. Just a thought.

Thought about it but you must be willing and im always on guard so really don't think it will work

Please don't dismiss this option too quickly.  Surely you are "willing" to overcome your phobia!  Most people are always "on guard".  Fear itself puts you "on guard".  Could you maybe think about it a bit, maybe consult a hypnotherapist and explain the situation?  It couldn't hurt.

Have thought about and i did contact one and he told me it don't work on everybody  you must be willing i can be willing but my mind will be on guard my fear is horrable its whaat got me into this mess in the first place skipping lab test when first sick couldn't do and when i did they had to get a group of people in there to hold me down when i faced the needle thursday nurse said with poor choise of words lets give it a SHOT they tried i panic and freaked out couldn't do it

[MooseMom]

I understand that your fear is profound.  But you deserve the opportunity to overcome it.  The hypnotherapist is right...it doesn't work on everyone, but you won't know unless you explore the opportunity.  It is a process.  It is a matter of gently and patiently removing the layers of your fear piece by piece.  You have nothing to lose because nothing else has even come close to helping you.  You deserve optimal dialysis just like everyone else does, and you deserve all the help necessary to get it.

[RichardMEL]

What about somne kind of (oral) med to relax you before treatment? I read soimewhere else here someone mention their neph perscribing xanax prior to treatment and that really helped them - have you explored something like that?

What if they knocked you out prior to treatment (no, not a punch to the head!!  ) - though I understand you mentioned you freaked out when you woke up with needles in you. Maybe some sort of strong sedative might help though?

[needlephobic]

What about somne kind of (oral) med to relax you before treatment? I read soimewhere else here someone mention their neph perscribing xanax prior to treatment and that really helped them - have you explored something like that?

What if they knocked you out prior to treatment (no, not a punch to the head!!  ) - though I understand you mentioned you freaked out when you woke up with needles in you. Maybe some sort of strong sedative might help though?

I have zanax but i don't want to get adictive ot it as them knocking me out they won't and can't  but i did try to face my fear when talking to the nurse about it she used some poor choice of words she said lets give it a SHOT

[romanyscarlett]

I'm always on guard and hypnotherapy worked wonders for me. I don't really understand why you won't give it a go. If there is even a slim possibility of it helping you then it's got to be better than nothing.

I've already explained in this topic how I used to be before I had hypnotherapy. On Wednesday I was told they wanted to use a thicker needle. I was actually able to hold it and have a good look at it. Before I was hypnotized, if someone had even suggested looking at a needle I'd have had a panic attack.

Another thing that really helped me overcome my fear was a pen in the shape of a needle. In conjunction with my hypnotherapy I would pick up the pen and hold it near my arm as if I was going to inject myself. In the beginning I could barely pick it up even though I knew it was a pen but as time went on I was able to hold it and now I write with it all the time.

I sometimes come across as a bit harsh because of my no-nonsense British attitude but no offense is ever intended. You do need to take proactive steps to get over your fear though. It's no good sitting on a computer moaning about it if you're not willing to help yourself. Multiple people on here have told you to investigate hypnotherapy and I even posted some links to hypnotists in your area so we're all doing our best to help but ultimately it's down to you.

[Restorer]

I've read that Xanax is best used as a short-term aid to help you cope with your fears while you're exposed to them, to learn that they're not as bad as you fear. You won't get addicted to Xanax by taking it three times, or even six times (two weeks). If you were to take a Xanax, and it helped you not freak out while being stuck with a needle, do you think then it would help you get more used to it? At the right dose, Xanax doesn't zonk you out, it just makes everything okay. I've had a relatively large dose of Ativan (same type of drug) in the hospital before a surgery, and once it took full effect, nothing felt any different (no high, no buzz, no obvious effects), except that I felt more secure and less anxious.

I think hypnotherapy is a good option too. It's all about relaxing. A good hypnotherapist might be able to get around your "on guard" personality.

[needlephobic]

I've read that Xanax is best used as a short-term aid to help you cope with your fears while you're exposed to them, to learn that they're not as bad as you fear. You won't get addicted to Xanax by taking it three times, or even six times (two weeks). If you were to take a Xanax, and it helped you not freak out while being stuck with a needle, do you think then it would help you get more used to it? At the right dose, Xanax doesn't zonk you out, it just makes everything okay. I've had a relatively large dose of Ativan (same type of drug) in the hospital before a surgery, and once it took full effect, nothing felt any different (no high, no buzz, no obvious effects), except that I felt more secure and less anxious.

I think hypnotherapy is a good option too. It's all about relaxing. A good hypnotherapist might be able to get around your "on guard" personality.

I tried xanax once during a session i was in with the social worker when we were working on my needle phobia i was very calm and we talked about how and where they was going to stick me so she invited a tech in to tell me she looked at my fistula and told me she be right back to show me something and left at that moment i froze in fear couldn't do nothing i just colasped  social worker had to calm me back down and wouldn't let the tech back in for awhile she could tell i was scared and i hated that feeling like being helpless I am very new to all of this dialysis stuff and pretty darn scared its like nothing is in my control tried to talk to charge nurse about my treatment  what meds they were putting in me and she just gets rude doc i can't get a straight answer from him never met my treatment team and you would figure i would have met with them before i started dialysis. I am willing to give the hypnotherapist a try who knows it just might work what have i got to loose besides my life about the only thing i got left besides a wonderful woman that has been by my side through all of this.