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Author Topic: The Renal Patient Diet Poem.  (Read 18141 times)
kitkatz
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« Reply #25 on: July 23, 2006, 07:03:59 PM »
Got to watch the calorie
Got watch how much you pee.
Got to look and see
If the meal outweighs me.
Nothing but ice in my glass
Nothing but fat on my ass.
Oh ,the renal diet cook book
Can I trade it in for a real cook?
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Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
angieskidney
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« Reply #26 on: July 23, 2006, 07:07:38 PM »
Quote from: kitkatz on July 23, 2006, 07:03:59 PM
Got to watch the calorie
Got watch how much you pee.
Got to look and see
If the meal outweighs me.
Nothing but ice in my glass
Nothing but fat on my ass.
Oh ,the renal diet cook book
Can I trade it in for a real cook?



I LOVE it !!! I LOVE IT!!!!
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kitkatz
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« Reply #27 on: July 23, 2006, 07:23:20 PM »
Oh my, oh me
I don't have to pee.
Isn't it great?
I don't have to wait
In a long bathroom line,
And hear other people whine. 
But in the real long run
I don't know who really won.
Was it you or me?
Let's check with reality.
I have each week six needle sticks.
You have to deal with human pricks.
I have a strict renal diet to be on.
You get to eat filet mignon.
Between you and me and us
I'd like to get off this dialysis bus.
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Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
angieskidney
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« Reply #28 on: July 23, 2006, 07:32:12 PM »
Quote from: kitkatz on July 23, 2006, 07:23:20 PM
Oh my, oh me
I don't have to pee.
Isn't it great?
I don't have to wait
In a long bathroom line,
And hear other people whine. 
But in the real long run
I don't know who really won.
Was it you or me?
Let's check with reality.
I have each week six needle sticks.
You have to deal with human pricks.
I have a strict renal diet to be on.
You get to eat filet mignon.
Between you and me and us
I'd like to get off this dialysis bus.




oh that is really good!!!
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diagnosed ESRD 1982
PD 2/90 - 4/90, 5/02 - 6/05
Transplant 4/11/90
Hemo 7/05-present (Inclinic Fres. 2008k 3x/wk MWF)
kitkatz
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« Reply #29 on: July 23, 2006, 10:04:22 PM »
Oh how I want to eat.
Anything would be a treat.
Instead of old ice chips
I want potato crisps.
Instead of rice cakes
I would like a drink the size of a lake.
Moan, groan and whine
The renal diet and diabetic diet do not combine.
I do not understand
How to get meals to plan.
Between the diabetic hubby
And the renal patient me
I have discovered one little thing
Together we better not eat anything.
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Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
livecam
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« Reply #30 on: July 30, 2006, 04:07:16 PM »
I still remember the staff dietician telling the story about the patient who just had to have a beefsteak tomato.  The story goes he picked a big one, ate the whole thing and then...died.  Their little way of telling you to avoid those pesky tomatoes.  Now with that said I'll have the spaghetti with rich meat sauce and a couple of meatballs.
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goofynina
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« Reply #31 on: July 30, 2006, 05:34:54 PM »
Maybe it was just his time to go :-\
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nkviking75
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« Reply #32 on: October 16, 2006, 10:37:28 PM »
Quote from: jdat on July 13, 2006, 03:28:15 AM
I thought fake salt was bad for you because it was high in potassium!  ??? >:D


Regardless that was a fantastic poem!
 more more more  ;D

Late to this discussion, but... There's an alternative to the alternative.  They offer one at my unit and I believe the name is Papa Dash.  It's suitable for the renal diet.
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Rerun
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« Reply #33 on: October 17, 2006, 02:21:03 AM »
I've seen Papa Dash in a clinic in Spokane, WA.  I wonder why they don't push it more.
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Epoman
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« Reply #34 on: October 17, 2006, 07:46:52 AM »
Quote from: livecam on July 30, 2006, 04:07:16 PM
I still remember the staff dietician telling the story about the patient who just had to have a beefsteak tomato.  The story goes he picked a big one, ate the whole thing and then...died.  Their little way of telling you to avoid those pesky tomatoes.  Now with that said I'll have the spaghetti with rich meat sauce and a couple of meatballs.

I really think you should add in your signature line that you currently have a working transplant because new members you do not know you or have read your previous posts will just think you are a non-compliant patient. You can add it by clicking on your "profile", then clicking "Forum Profile Information" and adding to your signature line.  :thumbup; 

And the tomato story is just propaganda, "Tales" they say to scare us, if they told that to me I would eat a beefsteak tomato right in front of them.  >:D
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kitkatz
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« Reply #35 on: October 17, 2006, 04:08:27 PM »
Right on Epoman!   We are adults after all. And scare tactics do not work on me!
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Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
jbeany
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« Reply #36 on: October 17, 2006, 04:50:58 PM »
No tomato now
Sorry, no fries and ketchup
That is potato

No ice cream allowed
I have banana split dreams
Do you have them too?

Everyone needs a little haiku, don't they?
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kitkatz
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« Reply #37 on: October 17, 2006, 06:15:52 PM »
Oh dietitian dear,
why don't you come near?
Do you have a fear of what
Your patient might tell you?
Do you worry about me
and my little food insanity?
Perhaps you should.
I know I would!
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Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
nkviking75
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« Reply #38 on: October 17, 2006, 08:12:18 PM »
A haiku for my Achilles Heel

Milk!
sweet nectar of the cow.
Delectible, but curses!  Out of bounds.
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nkviking75
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« Reply #39 on: October 17, 2006, 08:13:53 PM »
Quote from: nkviking75 on October 17, 2006, 08:12:18 PM
A haiku for my Achilles Heel

Milk!
sweet nectar of the cow.
Delectible, but curses!  Out of bounds.

Ok, I was working so hard on getting 17 syllables that I forgot all about proper form!  Heading off any literary critics here.
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kitkatz
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« Reply #40 on: October 17, 2006, 08:25:05 PM »
Diet pepsi, friend
Oh how I wish I just could
take the can and drink!
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
Zach
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"Still crazy after all these years."
« Reply #41 on: October 17, 2006, 09:36:07 PM »
Did you know that diet Coke has 18 mg of phosphorus per 8 oz.?

http://www.thecoca-colacompany.com/mail/goodanswer/soft_drink_nutrition.pdf
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Uninterrupted in-center (self-care) hemodialysis since 1982 -- 34 YEARS on March 3, 2016 !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No transplant.  Not yet, anyway.  Only decided to be listed on 11/9/06. Inactive at the moment.  ;)
I make films.

Just the facts: 70.0 kgs. (about 154 lbs.)
Treatment: Tue-Thur-Sat   5.5 hours, 2x/wk, 6 hours, 1x/wk
Dialysate flow (Qd)=600;  Blood pump speed(Qb)=315
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kitkatz
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« Reply #42 on: October 17, 2006, 09:49:53 PM »
Quote from: Zach on October 17, 2006, 09:36:07 PM
Did you know that diet Coke has 18 mg of phosphorus per 8 oz.?

http://www.thecoca-colacompany.com/mail/goodanswer/soft_drink_nutrition.pdf

That sucks!
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
kitkatz
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« Reply #43 on: December 10, 2006, 12:11:21 AM »
Okay I am a tear tonight!


I hate BMI
It makes you hate your weight so.
It makes me fatter.
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
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