The Renal Patient Diet Poem.

[kitkatz]

The Renal Patient Diet Poem

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Those luscious french fries gotta go.
As well as the 32 ounce coke.
Now, now do not choke.
Said the dietician to me.
All I wanted to do was flee.
She said to watch the potassium.
No more grapefruit juice, no oranges, no sodium.
Oh and also forget potatoes,
most fruits and vegetables and also no tomatoes.
No wheat bread, even though it says it's good for you,
Eat the white bread. It tastes like glue.
You can adapt to this diet.
I thought this was a riot.
Do not eat any thing that tastes good.
Do not go out to eat in the hood.
Stay home and cook it.
Then you will really know what tastes like sh**.
Put that salt shaker down.
Get Ms. Fake salt at the store in town.
You won't miss eating.
Now remember no cheating!
Can I have water and two rice cakes for every meal?
Sorry, no water, no deal.
Now remember a renal patient now are you.
Do what we say, not as we do!


Katherine

[anja]

What a great poem, Kitkat, you sure know your potatoes when it comes to the renal diet!         Ever thought of publishing your work?  You have the humor to entertain!

[goofynina]

KITKAT? GIRLFRIEND?  you wrote that?  That is AWESOME, and you typed so well (wink)   I enjoyed that, i am going to send that to my dietician, i think he will get a kick out of it,  and if he dont, well, he will get a kick from me...thats for sure....   GOOD JOB

Goofynina

[Sara]

That was hilarious!   

[jdat]

I thought fake salt was bad for you because it was high in potassium! 


Regardless that was a fantastic poem!
 more more more 

[kitkatz]

There will be more coming from me.  Yes. Goofynina, I wrote that last night while sitting at the computer!  I usually write free form, but a rhyming poem just fit the subject.   Thank you, I will take my bows while I can.

Katherine

[Bajanne]

Kitkatz, I was so amazed to see
Your interesting and pertinent poetry!
It was great!  The surprise to me is -
I never knew our site had such a whiz!

[goofynina]

UHOH, do i detect a little competition, lol,  dont make me bust out with my version of Dr. Seuss, lol,  (well, if i had one i would)

[Epoman]

Kitkatz, I was so amazed to see
Your interesting and pertinent poetry!
It was great!  The surprise to me is -
I never knew our site had such a whiz!

  Hey I thought I was a "Whiz" 

But yeah that poem is GREAT! create more, I have a few poems I have written, I can't post one of them because I would have to BAN myself. 

[Bajanne]

You duh BIG WHIZ, Epoman.  She duh poetry Whiz.

[Rerun]

Nice job Katz, that was great!

[angieskidney]

I thought fake salt was bad for you because it was high in potassium! 


Regardless that was a fantastic poem!
 more more more 

Ya that is what I heard too and doesn't it have phosphate too ?


Kitkatz can I show that poem to my mom??

[kitkatz]

You can show that poem to anyone you want, sweetie!

[kitkatz]

Bad Renal Diet Patient

I would eat that banana with a monkey,
On an elephant trunky.
I would eat that avocado with a fox
In a great, big box.
I will eat that donut in a car
With lots of jelly in a jar.
I will eat fried eggs and sausage for breakfast,
Just don't expect me to get up real fast.
I will drink that 32 oz. coca cola in a cup.
No one better ask me what's up.
I am the renal patient who eats whatever.
I am probably going to to be sick forever.
I make frequent runs to the hopsital for fluid overload.
Just call me a frog or a toad!
Change your ways
The dietician always says.
For I am the bad renal diet patient you see.
Don't look up to me.

Katherine (with apologies to Dr. Suess)

[goofynina]

*clapping*  Now thats what i'm talking about... Keep 'em coming girlfriend....EXCELLENT!!!!  I know that one had my name all over it...



(do i get a cut from this since i mentioned Dr. Seuss?)  just wondering, lol,  j/k

[angieskidney]

Bad Renal Diet Patient

I would eat that banana with a monkey,
On an elephant trunky.
I would eat that avocado with a fox
In a great, big box.
I will eat that donut in a car
With lots of jelly in a jar.
I will eat fried eggs and sausage for breakfast,
Just don't expect me to get up real fast.
I will drink that 32 oz. coca cola in a cup.
No one better ask me what's up.
I am the renal patient who eats whatever.
I am probably going to to be sick forever.
I make frequent runs to the hopsital for fluid overload.
Just call me a frog or a toad!
Change your ways
The dietician always says.
For I am the bad renal diet patient you see.
Don't look up to me.

Katherine (with apologies to Dr. Suess)

That is great! Good job! I sent the 2 to my mom but reminded her that they are copywritten (you really should so no one else takes them.) Did you know if you just mail a copy to yourself you will always be safe incase anyone wants to claim them as theirs? You just mail yourself a copy and don't open it. The stamp proves it was mailed on such and such a date and proves it was written at least by that time

I am serious They are good enough to be part of anything to support dialysis patients I like it! Maybe I will do some poetry for me site 

[kitkatz]

Anything posted on the internet is immediately copyrighted to the author.  I looked it up or rather had a small 1hr class in copyright law for writers on the internet. You are probably right though I should mail things to myself once in awhile.
Thank you for the compliments on the poems. I have not written poetry in so long I thought I forgot how to write anything. Goofynine you can have a cut since you mentioned Dr. Suess.  A cut of nothing is nothing Ya know!

Katherine

[goofynina]

OK, I got it in writing AND, i mailed it to myself, so there is no backing out of it now,  i got it in black and white baby, lol, 

[kitkatz]

Yeah, okay you have copyright of a cut of nothing Hahaha!

[goofynina]

But you know, even nothing is something.........huh?      oh sh*t, just confused myself,  how the hell did that happen  (shaddup Epoman)   

[kitkatz]

roflmao Goofynina.  I gotcha!

[kitkatz]

Oh me, oh my,
I just want to sigh.
I took a long look
At the renal diet book.
It just does not fit
My eating habit.

[angieskidney]

Oh me, oh my,
I just want to sigh.
I took a long look
At the renal diet book.
It just does not fit
My eating habit.

I try to find
something I picture in my mind
like mac and cheese
I would love that please.
But it is not in there
and it is not fair!
What about choco cake?
Any way that I can make?

[kitkatz]

Cute cute cute

[angieskidney]

Cute cute cute

Let's keep it going!! Wheee we can add to it