In need of a good cry

[KICKSTART]

Thats just how i feel at the moment. I have upset my mum today but i couldnt help it. All through my illness i have received no compassion or help from my family , i have faced most everything on my own. To add to all this i am in the middle of a divorce and trying to move. I know my family dont live nearby but if im feeling down its ..because i might have a bug or cold NEVER because ive got kidney failure. I feel as though i face everything alone and have no shoulder to lean on when its hard or scary. Tonight i rang my mum only for her to say she didnt feel well, but didnt know what it was and wouldnt go to the dooctors to find out, so i said what do you expect me to do ? I think your being stupid if you wont go to doctors but are telling me you are not well , to which she turned the waterworks on , so i said i was going. Its just one more thing i cant deal with right now . Anyway i then got on msn to my brother , who still lives at home and he said it was the first he know and she was fine at tea time , cooked his tea etc. Great why when i have all these problems does she save hers up for me as well? She could have told my brother about it , but saves it for me when i ring up. Great now my brothers just had a go for 'bawling' her out , which i didnt , i just said its no good telling me your ill and then wont go to doctors , thats just stupid........................ I know it sounds stupid ,( but we can say what we feel on here and thats why i love this place so much) if it wasnt for my dogs , i would stop my dialysis tommorrow.

[The Wife]

Oh Kickstart, I'm so sorry to hear you're not getting the support you need.

I'm just going to sit with you for awhile and give you a big hug.

[glitter]

Oh dear! What a rough day! Parents can be trying at times, Big children sometimes.  

[MyssAnne]

Oh, KS.

What a pain in the butt family can be at times. Why she would do that I don't know. To make
you feel guilty? To make you feel sorry for HER??  Who knows. At least you realize she's not
doing you any favors. Unfortunately. 

I so hope the search for new housing comes a lot sooner than you expect, that'll help, somewhat.

I know what you mean about stopping dialysis. If it weren't for our loved ones....

I have thought of doing that at times, I just get so doggone TIRED of it. It's not only the dialysis
itself, it's the set up, the clean up, the ordering, the mvoing of supplies, etc.  IT NEVER STOPS.

So. Hang in there KS. I'm hanging in, and so by golly, are you!!!

 

[MyssAnne]

KS,

an amendment...explanation, just in case!!!  I am hanging on, and will have you with me,
not that you HAD to!!!!

Did that make sense?  I WAS trying to infer that you can let go, we'll hold on while you cry!

 


Annie

[KICKSTART]

I just get so fed up of being a dumpiing ground for my mums 'down days' Whereas my brother can do no wrong (he is a grown man by the way) she waits on him hand and foot and  the sun shines out his A***, but she cant even get a taxi once in a while to see me , all i get is a phone call or i have to go there.My Aunty has cancer , while terrible it is treatable and she gets all the sympathy in the world from my mum , you know im not even sure my mum likes me or just sees me as usefull.
MyssAnne .thanks for your support , its not the dialysis im tired of , its this life,everday is the same for me , no where to go , no one to see. i get so lonely.

[paris]

I am sorry Kickstart.  I don't know why others feel the need to tell us how bad they feel or how sick they are.  Our disease seems so ignored by so many, and I think our families get so use to us they forget how we are really feeling.   We are here for you--go ahead and cry and feel our hugs surrounding you

[okarol]

  Kickstart - Hugging you from far away - you're never alone - you've got us!

I think when I stopped having any expectations from my family, that's when I started to feel better. It was really hard to give up the idea that somehow because they were related to me that they would actually care what I was going through.

I am sorry it's been hard for you. I pray you find some joy today. Thank God those doggys are bundles of love!

 

[Sluff]

It will all be OK, you both needed the same shoulder today. We are always here for you. 

[petey]

Kickstart -- I'm so sorry you're going through this right now.  I'm thinking about you.      

[rose1999]

Kickstart, If your dogs are the only ones you are keeping going for then I say thank God for your dogs. 
We are your family and we love you, don't you ever stop knowing that.   
It's been a tough day for you but I hope you feel a little better for letting it out here.  Go hug your dogs cos they unconditionally love you just like we do 

[lola]

 

[Joe Paul]

   Exactly why I gave up on my brother and sisters. Lots easier when there is no family to deal with, hard decision, but it worked for me.

[KICKSTART]

You guys are incredible , if only my own family showed me so much love. I miss Susie(goofynina) cause nomally she would jump in here , kick me up the backside, then hug me and raise a smile ..I admire everyones strength , fight, spirit and ability to cope........ you wonderfull people.

[Gramapat]

,( but we can say what we feel on here and thats why i love this place so much) if it wasnt for my dogs , i would stop my dialysis tommorrow.

That's exactly why I love forums like this.  People here truly understand what we feel and we don't have to defend our feelings. 

Kickstart - I'm really sorry that your mum can't see what you are going through.  I've learned to not expect anything from some people - even thought it hurts when it's close family members. 

[oleboy]

  Hang in there, some times crying isn't bad, rant to us we all care.





EDITED: Fixed Boxing Icon Error - Sluff/ Admin

[Lori1851]

Kickstart,
Here is a big  for you!!! Hope tmrw is a better day for you. Just remember God loves you and so do I.
Lori/Indiana

[CW]

Hey Kickstart,

Family can be dense sometimes that is one of the reasons being here is so comforting. Your IHD family ever-growing and ever changing is always here, always understanding, always willing to listen, always compassionate and always sympathetic to your challenges.

Sometimes it is hard for those who are not chronically ill to understand the challenges of living a chronically ill life. Just because we are surviving day to day does not mean we are all better or that we are cured. We have adapted but we still require support. We cannot always expect understanding and support from those around us but we can count on it from our IHD family. So come here and vent away !!

[rookiegirl]

Kickstart,

I'm sorry that you have to go through this.  But at least you are not alone.  We are here as your family to support and love you.  Sometimes people don't realize the seriousness of our disease.  I guess because some kidney patients don't look or feel sick.  But people need to understand, we have a silent, deadly disease if not cared for.  I run into this problem with my family and friends.  I feel as if I have to constantly remind them.  I don't know if they just forget or pretend it doesn't exist.  I don't know.

I hope everything works out for you, especially with all that you have to go through.  Know that you are loved by everyone here.

Sending lots of       

[aharris2]

I see some of the most amazing and petty, self-centered things coming from family. Thank God for true friends and the understanding of a family like IHD. Kickstart, we are all here for you, you are not alone.

Your furry companions - loyal, loving, nonjudgemental, and remarkably understanding. They truly make our worlds a brighter place.

 
Rolando and Alene

[kellyt]

 

[kitkatz]

It is funny how parents treat their kids.  Being parent I find myself sometimes doing similar things, although I try hard not to.  I am sending you hugs to help your day go better. 

[NVRWKN]

My parents are the same way. If mention a probelm I'm having they start about there's. I'm lucky my sisters are very good support. Hope things get better for you.

[angellady07]

Kickstart, I'm sorry you've had such a rough day. I'm sending you positive thoughts and a hug. 

[jbeany]

 
Family can be the biggest pain around, can't they?