Ignorant things people have said to you

[lainiepop]

lol PrimertImer! How long have u been married? We'll be 9 yrs in a couple weeks, yet in all that time mil never called our home phone (prob scared i'll answer!) They forgot my 30th birthday i didnt get a card (didnt get one after the tx either) and then she made a comment that her mothers day card arrived late!!
She has 4 kids with the idea that she has lots of kids so is a close family, but one lives in australia, hubby doesnt see or talk to them much, the youngest brother is in contact even less, only the sister lives nearby but she is mad busy at work, and they dont have the mother daughter relationship me and mum do. But then im the only one and so very close to my parents, as ive had so much time with them both, mum is my best friend (and i love how my lil girl already says mummy my best friend!) and dad donated the kidney, cant get closer than that (not too sure she was happy bout that, but then better than her son dong it!!!)

[PrimeTimer]

lainiepop; We've been married for 7 years. We married late in life, no kids. Before we married I had the uh, pleasure of speaking with my future MIL on the phone. Her birthday was coming up and she wanted to tell me to make sure that her son got her the right gift -an expensive bottle of perfume! I just about fell out of my chair! Bad enough when someone tells you to get them a gift, it's even worse tho when that gift is an expensive one. At that point, it's no longer a "gift".

When I was a kid, my Mother always had a flower garden. A friend of the family who lived down the street also had a garden and she would bring my Mother fresh-cut flowers, telling us that your garden won't grow unless you share your flowers. Something tells me she wasn't just talking about flowers.
Anyways, you sound like a wonderful mother, daughter and wife....and with what you've shared with them most certainly is growing a lot of love! Beautiful blooming love! 

[DeadAlive]

I told a close friend about my fistula, what it is for and how it was done. I tried my best to make him understand what it was, i even made him put his hand on it to feel the blood rushing through.

1 day many weeks later he grabbed my arm forgetting about my fistula .... i reacted and told him to be carefull with that arm ......

"Oh yes you have that spinning thing in your arm, i forgot". 

Spinning thing? ..... I never even responded. He converted all that information i told him ... into "spinning thing".

[lainiepop]

Aww Primetimer i dont always feel like a very good mum! I try my best but have bad days (like all mums, and i have more excuse than most!) I am v fortunate i am able to stay at home and not work as hubby supports us, as i love staying home with the kids and honestly dont think id cope with work as well! Dont know how others do it!

[PrimeTimer]

I told a close friend about my fistula, what it is for and how it was done. I tried my best to make him understand what it was, i even made him put his hand on it to feel the blood rushing through.

1 day many weeks later he grabbed my arm forgetting about my fistula .... i reacted and told him to be carefull with that arm ......

"Oh yes you have that spinning thing in your arm, i forgot". 

Spinning thing? ..... I never even responded. He converted all that information i told him ... into "spinning thing".

I'd give your pal a break on this one. Being a motorcycle racer, no doubt the words "wheels, spin and spinning" are part of your vocabulary on a regular basis. In fact, I think that's what I'm going to start saying to my husband when I check his fistula every day; "oh honey, I can feel that spinning thing!" I kind of like that better than saying I feel the "thrill" because I don't. I mean, I do but I don't. Well, you know what I mean.

[PrimeTimer]

Aww Primetimer i dont always feel like a very good mum! I try my best but have bad days (like all mums, and i have more excuse than most!) I am v fortunate i am able to stay at home and not work as hubby supports us, as i love staying home with the kids and honestly dont think id cope with work as well! Dont know how others do it!

Don't be so sure that others cope so well. You are doing waay more than the average mom does. Think about that. Now of course, some will say how do I know that since I've never had kids. Well, I may have never had kids but I did have a mother and that's how I know!

[Rerun]

I told a close friend about my fistula, what it is for and how it was done. I tried my best to make him understand what it was, i even made him put his hand on it to feel the blood rushing through.

1 day many weeks later he grabbed my arm forgetting about my fistula .... i reacted and told him to be carefull with that arm ......

"Oh yes you have that spinning thing in your arm, i forgot". 

Spinning thing? ..... I never even responded. He converted all that information i told him ... into "spinning thing".

Oh, yeah, there is a lot of that.  People just don't realize.   

[Ninanna]

Last year I went to the ER because I had the flew and I felt so aweful I thought it was going to push me over into emergency dialysis. I was terrified out of my mind and crying when the ER doc said, "I don't know what you are so upset about. You'll just get a transplant and then everything will be fine."

As if kidneys magically fall out of the sky to be transplanted and then last forever and everything is a piece of cake.

[Sugarlump]

Last year I went to the ER because I had the flew and I felt so aweful I thought it was going to push me over into emergency dialysis. I was terrified out of my mind and crying when the ER doc said, "I don't know what you are so upset about. You'll just get a transplant and then everything will be fine."

As if kidneys magically fall out of the sky to be transplanted and then last forever and everything is a piece of cake.

I must come and live near you so I can catch the odd kidney or two!!!!
And that from a Doctor!!! (what the hell do they teach em in medical school???)

[lainiepop]

Ninanna my renal doc said something similar when my GFR hit 10. He told me you will have a live donor TX and it will be pre emptive! Um ok then! I should have asked him if he was gonna get tested to donate

[natnnnat]

Last year I went to the ER because I had the flew and I felt so aweful I thought it was going to push me over into emergency dialysis. I was terrified out of my mind and crying when the ER doc said, "I don't know what you are so upset about. You'll just get a transplant and then everything will be fine."

O FFSake!

[Serene1]

LMAO yes I have experienced all that has been said here and know I just accept people's stupidity as a sixth sense even the nurses I have to deal with are so ignorant n have no sense of humour, as I was in hospital having bloods taken from my fistula and jokingly said oh I should take up heroin my kidneys are dead and have a giant vein anyway n the nurse said "oh you don't want to take heroin" in a serious tone. It was obviously a joke and I laughed even though she looked at me like I'm going to become a junkie in the next five minutes n I felt like saying to her u should take heroin to be less of an uptight judgmental bitch with no sense of humour lol.

[Punkybruister84]

I was admitted to the hospital 2 weeks ago for low calcium issues. I had a  new dr come examine me ( he looked older. But he must've just graduated med school. He does his pointless exam ( which included me following the movement  of his finger) and asks me " what's going on with your right eye"? I have been blind in my right eye since birth the retina is destroyed and there is scarring on the eye itself that is a very pale blue.

I tell him. I am blind in that eye. I can't see out of it.
He says. Oh. So it's a prostetic. I said no its not. I just don't see out of it. He said oh. So both eyes.. I looked at him like he was retarded. I felt like saying umm no special ed and "blindly" touching his face with my hands like Helen keller

 But I didn't.

[kristina]

Poor Punkybruister...
...I admire your patience...
... this doctor must have "just come out of the egg" so to speak...

[Punkybruister84]

I think that they should only allow resident drs see a patient  with the accompaniment of an actual seasoned dr. Lol someone who knows how to listen to words. And understand when spoken to.

[CebuShan]

I think my local ER is getting used to seeing me this year, I don't get as many idiotic statements as I used to!

[Sugarlump]

I think that they should only allow resident drs see a patient  with the accompaniment of an actual seasoned dr. Lol someone who knows how to listen to words. And understand when spoken to.

i think doctors should be taught communication skills and bedside manner as part of their training and have to pass an exam in it!!!!

[LisaBart]

I made an appointment for partner to see GP as I thought his BP meds needed adjusting now he has been on dialysis 8 weeks, he'd been feeling a bit off after dialysis.
As they squeezed him in a 4th year student took him in before his GP..... as if we needed to go right through his past 10 years medical history...very frustrating and partner
gets a little short with medical staff.  I actually said to her and who makes the final decision on his meds...the doctor does....then why waste our time....the doctor decreased exactly what I had
said should be decreased.  It's like we have all the time in the world to sit around a medical centre.

Oh and med student said are you going to have a transplant??? We are only 8 weeks on dialysis......and already over people asking this so I think we will just say no!!!
I can appreciate the frustrations you have all put up with !!

[cassandra]

I'm sorry you, and your hubby had to go through that, and yeah, that's how you'll get treated a lot. However, after a few years I could just ring the GP, and ask for prescriptions,or referrals. I hope you don't have to go there anytime soon

[kitkatz]

It was after a round of dialysis, I am telling family I am tired and cranky and just trying to hold it together until dinner, my Mom says she knows how I feel.  I snap: "No you do not!"
How in the world does she understand how I feel?  There are no words to describe the after feeling of dialysis.

[Sugarlump]

No there aren't, even close friends don't understand why I don't want to drop in for coffee on way home from dialysis.
I am shattered. I doze in the car on the way home. Then I want a quick sandwich and a cup of tea and a snooze. I often go to bed for an hour and just zonk right out.
My body needs to recharge and replenish. My brain switches off. I am cranky for awhile. And I need carbohydrates...
"Post dialysis haze*.... 

[Michael Murphy]

The strange thing is how bonded I feel with the people I know at dialysis, I show up a little early and sit and talk with them about life sports and other topics but the most important feeling is that these people understand the dual nature of our shared experience. Glad for the treatment and at the same time dreading it.  I don't think anyone who has not sat in the chair for a full session can really understand the experience.  Even my wife only thinks its a minor change in our life, not the dragon I have to go and slay three times a week.

[kristina]

No there aren't, even close friends don't understand why I don't want to drop in for coffee on way home from dialysis.
I am shattered. I doze in the car on the way home. Then I want a quick sandwich and a cup of tea and a snooze. I often go to bed for an hour and just zonk right out.
My body needs to recharge and replenish. My brain switches off. I am cranky for awhile. And I need carbohydrates...
"Post dialysis haze*.... 

I was once lying in the next bed to another lady in hospital
and she was sent to another department within the hospital
for dialysis three times during the week.
I remember that she was not communicating or able to answer any questions
to anyone after returning from a dialysis-session,
because she was much too exhausted and in urgent need of a rest...

[malibu1]

With tears in her eyes the lady who cleans our house begged and pleaded with me that if only I would pray Mr Malibu's kidneys would heal.     Seriously...

[PrimeTimer]

My father in law says he feels poorly all the time and not getting any better and that doctors told him his heart is old. He complains that he's tired and having to rely more and more on his wife. Says getting old is no fun. My father in law is...87 years old, golfs, travels, still drives, gardens, goes to the gym and cooks for 10-15 people every Sunday. And has never had the experience of...dialysis. Hate to say this but sometimes when he complains about his life, I feel like telling him to "put a sock in it!"