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Author Topic: You might be a dialysis patient if...............  (Read 59515 times)
BigSky
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« on: July 22, 2006, 04:01:40 AM »
This might be interesting.

Everyone contribute a saying.  Kinda like the Jeff Foxworthy "You might be  a redneck if..."

"You might be a dialysis patient if......"

You fantasize more about eating "banned" foods than you do about sex. :)


EDIT: Topic Moved to proper section - bajanne2000/Moderator
« Last Edit: July 22, 2006, 11:58:38 AM by bajanne2000 » Logged
angieskidney
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« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2006, 05:48:28 AM »
Quote from: BigSky on July 22, 2006, 04:01:40 AM
"You might be a dialysis patient if......"

You fantasize more about eating "banned" foods than you do about sex. :)


lol I LOVE that one!!!

It is sooooo true sadly enogh  :-[



okay .. I don't know if I can come up with a good one but I will try ....



You might be a dialysis patient if ... you salivate and stare at a kid carrying a "Big Gulp" from 7-11 as he walks by you on a hot summer's day.



hmm... no that sucked :( It was too much like yours :( And yours is so much better lol .. can I use that in a sig? I love it :)
« Last Edit: July 22, 2006, 05:50:41 AM by angieskidney » Logged
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Joe Paul
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« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2006, 06:26:03 AM »
You might be a dialysis patient if you get upset when you here folks with no health problems at all, saying they are ready for death
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« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2006, 07:44:47 AM »
You might be a dialysis patient on in-centre hemo if your week has suddenly become M-W-F or T-T-S
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« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2006, 08:40:44 AM »
You might be a dialysis patient if you post in the WRONG SECTION.  >:(
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angieskidney
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« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2006, 09:17:42 AM »
Quote from: Epoman on July 22, 2006, 08:40:44 AM
You might be a dialysis patient if you post in the WRONG SECTION.  >:(

Can this still be moved to off-topic?
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BigSky
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« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2006, 10:46:28 AM »
Quote from: Epoman on July 22, 2006, 08:40:44 AM
You might be a dialysis patient if you post in the WRONG SECTION.  >:(



Sorry
Thought it somewhat related to dialysis.  Any moderator or power that be please do move it if possible.  Thanks
« Last Edit: July 22, 2006, 10:59:21 AM by BigSky » Logged
kitkatz
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« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2006, 10:49:53 AM »
A good place would have been the dialysis humor, stories, jokes section.  LOL
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Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
BigSky
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« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2006, 11:02:50 AM »
Quote from: angieskidney on July 22, 2006, 05:48:28 AM

lhmm... no that sucked :( It was too much like yours :( And yours is so much better lol .. can I use that in a sig? I love it :)

No they are all good.



You might be a dialysis patient if...

You want to plant your foot in someone rear when they say.  "It's just so hard to keep up and drink 8 glasses of water a day."
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kitkatz
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« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2006, 11:22:08 AM »
You might be a dialysis patient if...Del Taco french fries are a delicacy in your house!

You might be a dialysis patient if..... your family all sits down to have a drink in a restaurant and you order a glass of ice.

You might be a dialysis patient if...your family and frineds buy you interesting things you have no use for; like an iced tea maker, or a coffee pot, or a set of 32 oz mugs.

You might be a dialysis patient if... you find yourself drooling during food commercials.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2006, 12:02:06 AM by kitkatz » Logged


lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
angieskidney
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« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2006, 11:23:06 AM »
You might be a dialysis patient if ..... .... you ask for a child size drink, sneer when ever they ask you if you would like to super size your meal, and ask for a fries alternative :P


You might be a dialysis patient if ...   ...you ask for anything BUT CHOCOLATE for Easter when the family gets together.
« Last Edit: July 22, 2006, 11:24:51 AM by angieskidney » Logged
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PD 2/90 - 4/90, 5/02 - 6/05
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kitkatz
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« Reply #11 on: July 22, 2006, 08:03:27 PM »
You might be a dialysis patient if... bedtime used to be nine olock, but now you are up most of the night with itchies, or insomnia, or are making exchanges in the middle of the night.

You might be a dialysis patient if..the word exchange has nothing to do with money or food.

You might be a dialysis patient if... you spend more time on the site: ihatedialysis.com than you do with email to family and friends. 

« Last Edit: July 28, 2006, 10:46:34 PM by kitkatz » Logged


lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
angieskidney
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« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2006, 01:15:19 AM »
Quote from: kitkatz on July 22, 2006, 08:03:27 PM
You might be a dialysis patient if... you spend more time on the site: ihatedialysis.com than you do with email to family and friends. 
  ;D Classic!!
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diagnosed ESRD 1982
PD 2/90 - 4/90, 5/02 - 6/05
Transplant 4/11/90
Hemo 7/05-present (Inclinic Fres. 2008k 3x/wk MWF)
Joe Paul
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« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2006, 01:19:19 AM »
You might be a dialysis patient, if when you see people racing down the road on a new motorcycle as a kidney donor
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kevno
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« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2006, 08:18:21 AM »
You might be a dialysis patient if you know every nurse on the unit by their first name, plus doctors by their first name and even the PORTERS by their first name. But very few of the renal patients names on the unit. ::)

You might be a dialysis patient if when you are walking down a corridor in the hospital, you keep getting stopped by some nurse/doctor you can not remember, asking how are you doing. I just pretend I can remember them and say, doing OK. Not a idea who they are but they ask more questions. So you can spend ten minutes talking. With no idea who it is you are talking too.  :o

You might be a dialysis patient if you get hooked up to a bloody dialysis machine ::)
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But this little saying keeps me going!!

"RENAL PATIENTS NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!"
kitkatz
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« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2006, 01:00:39 PM »
oh yeah forgot about the damned machines!
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
kevno
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« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2006, 03:23:27 PM »
I forgive you kitkatz forgeting about the machines, you are only on them 3 times a week. I suppose you are getting on a bit. So it's OK to get a bit forgetful >:D

Right I'm off before I get hit with that BIG STICK :'(
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But this little saying keeps me going!!

"RENAL PATIENTS NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!"
kitkatz
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« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2006, 07:25:27 PM »
Wham! Wham! Wham!

Now where did that Kevno go???
Too fast for me.
You call me old one more time you young whippersnapper, and I will tan your hide!
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
kevno
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« Reply #18 on: July 24, 2006, 12:12:02 PM »
You might be a dialysis patient if you get hit with kitkatz BIG STICK, and picked on by Rerun ;D
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But this little saying keeps me going!!

"RENAL PATIENTS NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!"
Rerun
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« Reply #19 on: July 24, 2006, 03:33:24 PM »
You might be a dialysis patient if you think in kilograms instead of pounds.  (only for those in the U.S.)

You might be a dialysis patient if you see anything sharp and compare it to a 15 gauge needle.

You might be a dialysis patient if you secretly hate healthy people.
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kitkatz
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« Reply #20 on: July 25, 2006, 05:17:21 PM »
You might be a dialysis patient if...
     one more person asks you how you feel, you are going to actually tell them how you are feeling in exquisite detail leaving nothing out.
     one more person tells you " I don't know how you do it" in that gushy voice, you are going to smack their teeth back down their throat.
     people think you are strong when it is just sheer stupidity: (ie. you just don't know any better) that keeps you holding on each and every day to life.

   
« Last Edit: July 28, 2006, 10:47:34 PM by kitkatz » Logged


lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
Bajanne
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« Reply #21 on: July 25, 2006, 06:13:59 PM »
You might be a dialysis patient if ......
         that one cold, refreshing 10oz glass of water makes you feel guilty and makes you wonder about the scale the next dialysis day.
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I LOVE  my IHD family! :grouphug;
angieskidney
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« Reply #22 on: July 25, 2006, 07:29:21 PM »
You might just be a dialysis patient if ...

            .... at a restaurant you turn down the free water and ask for ice chips and For your meal just rice and greenbeans and turn down the free refill drink selection.
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diagnosed ESRD 1982
PD 2/90 - 4/90, 5/02 - 6/05
Transplant 4/11/90
Hemo 7/05-present (Inclinic Fres. 2008k 3x/wk MWF)
BigSky
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« Reply #23 on: July 25, 2006, 08:42:03 PM »
You might be a dialysis patient if......

While on a road trip you blow past a rest stop at 70 and hear a whimper for a bathroom break from your passengers.
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angieskidney
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« Reply #24 on: July 25, 2006, 08:42:41 PM »
Quote from: BigSky on July 25, 2006, 08:42:03 PM
You might be a dialysis patient if......

While on a road trip you blow past a rest stop at 70 and hear a whimper for a bathroom break from your passengers.


hahah ya that one is great!! :P
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diagnosed ESRD 1982
PD 2/90 - 4/90, 5/02 - 6/05
Transplant 4/11/90
Hemo 7/05-present (Inclinic Fres. 2008k 3x/wk MWF)
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