YOU are NOT damaged goods. Everyone faces their struggles....some are more visible than others. I would say....you are worthy of love and that you have freely given it already (adopting children) and you obviously have a personality that attracts the interest of both male and females. You mentioned you befriended a female tech after you moved away....so I would say YOU are a pretty special person. Don't sell yourself short. You are deserving of love, kindness and compassion...just as we all are.
Enjoy the great company at dialysis....It allows you to look forward to your sessions....I am sure you two, or you will figure it all out. You've got this!!!!