I'm a terrible person

[OldKritter]

I was thinking ”I’m too old and sick to have 12 people coming for Easter dinner”. 

The face doesn’t look like ME, the body definitely is not mine, bones and muscles ache.  And I’m tired – weary – drained.   In my head I’m a good fifteen years younger than my biological age, that’s why I commit to these things.

Went to Davita for monthly lab work.  Saw this old lady struggling to get a walker out of her car, went over to help her.  Walked with her into the Davita center carrying her bag and book for her.  Once she was settled in the waiting room we started to talk about why we were there.   

This fragile wrinkled old person and I had a lot in common.  I’m 74 and she’s 73, both on dialysis, had stroke, keeping an eye on a AAA (Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm) and trying to ignore what is obviously a hernia. 

She was one sad little lady.  There was just her and her little rescue dog.

And I was complaining about my big family.

Left there feeling younger, healthier, and luckier that I’ve felt in past few years.  Actually – also a little better looking.

I am a terrible person – devil’s gonna get me.  But I did feel good!  Still do.

[smartcookie]

Never feel bad when you realize you are doing better physically then someone else!  Take your blessing and wear it proudly!  It is too easy to get caught up in our own woes and failings, whether it be personally, with our health, mentally, etc.  I think it is time that we revel in the good we have going for us and feel special.  And I tell you, I have patients that sound like the lady you are talking about and they are thankful for what they have, even if they do not have family and have a terminal illness.  I bet she enjoys that rescue dog so much and to that dog, she is his/her world!  I have one patient who just lost his sister, who was his only living relative besides some young nephews and a niece, and he is so thankful for what he has.  He runs a little boarding house and walks several miles a day, even though he is older and has several health problems.  It is all perspective. 

On the KDQOL (Kidney disease quality of life survey), one of the questions is can you climb a flight of stairs.  I am always amazed when my bilateral amputee patients say yes.  The survey is captures their perspective, so if the patient says he/she can climb stairs, then who am I to argue.  Maybe they think they could crawl up the steps.  Maybe they are in denial or think they can with prosthesis.  Who am I to tell them that they can't because they don't have legs?  Always be thankful for what you have, even if it is a small thing.   

[Simon Dog]

I bet she enjoys that rescue dog so much and to that dog, she is his/her world!

If you have a dog, you can still be useful and important to a loving, living creature who does not care you are on dialysis, and will not complain if you want to take a nap.   Some dogs will even join you as they are very good at sleeping.

[Rerun]

If I sit down anywhere Tia is on me and ready for a blanket and quiet time.  She tries to knock the phone or tablet our of my hands with her nose.  She wants my attention.  Her so cute.

[smartcookie]

My dog does the same, Rerun!  She will even sit on my chest to get me to pay attention to her!  And she is not exactly small... lol! 

[Charlie B53]

If I even spell N.A.P. our Bones puppy (@6y.o.) dashes for the bedroom, and lays there next to my pillow waiting for me to come lay down.

[Simon Dog]

My problem is that have reverted to a nocturnal lifestyle.   Dialsysis 8:30 to 12:30, up until 3 or 4 AM, then I scoop the K9 from the couch and take him to bed (if I don't, he will leave #1 and sometime #2 on the kitchen floor in the early AM).  Some days he lets me sleep in, but on others, he is up at 8AM pacing the bed and licking my face telling me it is time to get up.

[LorinnPKD]

I was just thinking how much I'd rather spend Easter with my own wonderful little rescue dog than endure a big dinner for 12 people -- hahaha!

To each their own!

[kickingandscreaming]

I'm with you, LorinnPKD.  Can't beat my rescue for good company.

[LorinnPKD]

Haha!  Sending you a high five in solidarity, K&S!