My Dilemma - This too shall pass!!!!

[cdwbrooklyn]

Hello everyone,
I have been very busy since taking on a new role at my job.  Ever since I got my bumps removed, I’ve been in the hospital so many times this year.  My fistula stopped working all together and I have received three catheters.  The second catheter did not work and I had to get it replaced the very next day.  Yes, I was in pain for one week.  I am still in some pain but not as much. 

I am trying to do treatments and maintain my job.  It’s very hard as I wanted to just give up.  However, my daughter would not allow that.  She took controlled of the situation and starting speaking to my nurse than she called my job and told my boss I will not be coming in for work or working from home.  She is going to take me to the doctor to see why I am having so much pain.   I must say that I am very proud of her.  She took time out her busy life to attend to her only mother who she loves dearly and would not give up until she got some answers and she did.   

Anyhow, I am taking it one day at a time but l am still a little under the weather.  I’ve missed so many treatments the week my fistula collapsed going thorough this dilemma.   My fistula is still not working so I have to find another doctor that can create another fistula.  This time around, I am going to make sure I choose a doctor that will make by fistula look good.  He is not just going to create a fistula anyway and expect me to deal with it.  I am a lot more experience than starting 15 years ago.   
 
All in all, I am still hanging in there as this too shall pass.   

[Michael Murphy]

Your daughter sounds like the type any parent would be proud of,  however I think the way you raised her is why you have such a loving thoughtful supportive child.

[obsidianom]

Hello everyone,
I have been very busy since taking on a new role at my job.  Ever since I got my bumps removed, I’ve been in the hospital so many times this year.  My fistula stopped working all together and I have received three catheters.  The second catheter did not work and I had to get it replaced the very next day.  Yes, I was in pain for one week.  I am still in some pain but not as much. 

I am trying to do treatments and maintain my job.  It’s very hard as I wanted to just give up.  However, my daughter would not allow that.  She took controlled of the situation and starting speaking to my nurse than she called my job and told my boss I will not be coming in for work or working from home.  She is going to take me to the doctor to see why I am having so much pain.   I must say that I am very proud of her.  She took time out her busy life to attend to her only mother who she loves dearly and would not give up until she got some answers and she did.   

Anyhow, I am taking it one day at a time but l am still a little under the weather.  I’ve missed so many treatments the week my fistula collapsed going thorough this dilemma.   My fistula is still not working so I have to find another doctor that can create another fistula.  This time around, I am going to make sure I choose a doctor that will make by fistula look good.  He is not just going to create a fistula anyway and expect me to deal with it.  I am a lot more experience than starting 15 years ago.   
 
All in all, I am still hanging in there as this too shall pass.   

You are one of my inspiration people . Dont give up. Things will straighten out . Take it one day at a time . We are here for you. If there is anything i can do to help, please just ASK. You are one of my favorites here. Good job with your daughter. She sounds great like you.

[cassandra]

I wouldn't know what to add to the above posts, just don't give up honey. I'm so glad you got your daughter too.
Lots of good luck with finding that surgeon.

Keep strong, lots of love, Cas

       
           

[jeannea]

Being in pain is tough. I'm glad your daughter can help you fight!

[SooMK]

Thinking of you!

[Jean]

So sorry you are in so much pain. Glad tho you have such a wonderful daughter. Hope you are feeling better soon.   

[kristina]

Hello cdwbroocklyn,
I am very sorry for the pain you go through and I am amazed
how well you manage to keep your job and everything else going despite the pain...
I do hope the doctors diagnose your pain soon and I wish you lots of strengths and very good luck
and I am very glad that your daughter is keeping an eye on things...

Best wishes from Kristina.

[cdwbrooklyn]

Thanks so much everyone,

I am feeling so much better.  The pain is gone but I am suffering with headaches.  However, sometimes I cannot believe this is happening to me.  I’ve been on dialysis for 15 years and for 14 years I did not have to be hospitalized.  It started when the surgeon removed my bumps from the fistula.  At that time, I thought it was a good thing.  I had no idea that is will ruin my fistula.  I think the doctor cut too deep and it caused the fistula to narrow.  When the wound heeled it developed scar issue and that’s what caused the fistula to fail.   Now the fistula is not working at all.  I’m very sad that my fistula stopped working but I am not mad about the bumps being removed.  I just wish the surgeon would have left a little bit of the bumps so the fistula can continue to work properly. 

Anyhoo, everything happens for a reason.   My major concern right now is finding a surgeon that will create a good fistula that will work well without it looking like my arm is deformed. This is the scary part because all surgeons have something to say about the next surgeon as if that surgeon is the best of all.  I don’t know who to believe and have my fistula on hold but not for long.   When it comes to surgeons, I’m like a dollar sign to them.  They don’t care how things come out as long as I have a fistula.  Well, they are wrong because it matters to me.   This is one thing I hate about the medical field being a dialysis patient most doctors do not listen to the patients or look out for their best interests when it comes to certain things.

Moving forward, I am going to try and see if I can get a kidney since it been 9 years since I tried to get one.  My veins may have improved.  My center staff is really encouraging me to go for it.  The worse thing that can happen is I don’t get it.  Please keep me in your prayers as my center staff and I feel that I’m too young to be going through this.

Well thanks again everyone for your kind words.  It means a lot to me as I was feeling very low yesterday.  Praise God that there is joy in the morning.

Love and Happiness to all!!! 

[MaryJoe]

I'm glad your pain is gone, and hope they can figure out the cause of your headaches soon.  I hate that this has turned out to be so complicated for you, you've always been so optimistic and helpful to anyone on the site that was having difficulties.
Your daughter sounds like she takes after you! I'm glad you have some one near by to support you, and to make sure you do what is best for you. Like rest.
I hope your next fistula surgery goes well, and that you find a surgeon that will listen to your concerns. I'm sure they're out there, sometimes they're just hard to find.
Exciting news about you trying to get on the list for a kidney! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

[kristina]

Hello again,
I am glad that the pain has gone and I am very sorry about your headaches.
Have you had your blood pressure checked-up regularly to make sure it is not high BP which causes your headaches?
It sounds very exciting that you try to get on the list for a transplant and I do wish you very good luck with it !
Best wishes from Kristina.

[PrimeTimer]

Sounds like you are (once again) prevailing. This may sound off topic but read on...I've been reading a little about two other "greats"; Greek warrior Leonidas and US Army Veteran Edward Lychik. Despite being an amputee, Lychik runs marathons. He ran his personal best in 4 hours and 7 minutes. Heck, I couldn't do that walking! (edit: what I mean by that, is I couldn't walk the distance of a marathon, let alone run in one). Sounds like you've been running your own marathon of sorts and have set (another) "personal best". You are truly an inspiration and beacon of light!