On a general note to everyone, I feel I am misunderstood frequently on this forum. It's really frustrating. It feels like battling a hydra, because no sooner do I think I've clarified something, I find the further explanation leads to little illumination and even more assumptions and misunderstanding. I have heard others express this same frustration. I once read the advice (on here!) that if there are two ways to take someone's statement, choose the nicer one. I would add "or ask for clarification". It would probably save us all loads of time.
Cariad, yeah, I found humor in the Pravda comment because it was absurd. Most people don't understand Russian humor, as it is strange, and that's all. I also found it absurd that a comparison would be raised on this website and I found it absurd that a simple line like that turned into almost an inflammatory comment towards Obsidianom. Anyone who has wanted to has said their peace on this thread about a name change and wear their hearts on their sleeve. While we can have different opinions, sometimes, it takes a little respect and tact on both sides. Nobody should be censored but members shouldn't feel they need to leave [personal feelings or not] because of the way discourse is presented. So, when all else fails, lighten the mood. For my PhD, I interviewed quite a few gulag survivors and when things would get really heavy on my part [heavy as in emotional and sad], they would remind me they at least had freedom of speech because they had nothing left to lose. Even THEY lightened the mood and they'd actually been through hell on earth in an authoritarian regime.
I'm quite aware about the history of Pravda. And while we're at it, I also know the history of Trud, Izvestia and Bednota! Over here in Russia, what happened with the presenter on RT was viewed as a publicity stunt for her own benefit. I am aware RT shaded it to suit their interests but honestly, there are much bigger issues with censorship and freedom of speech here at home. Again, the RT issue was a laughable matter when seriously simple journalists are having their offices raided, thrown in jail and livelihoods taken away. I would never see humor in that but I see it at RT.
Well, you gave your history as to why my joke was insensitive. I respect that and your feelings. How about you see where I am coming from too? Let's see, my father's brother was sent to a gulag and "died" at the age of 33. And why was that? Not because he wasn't Communist enough but rather he was TOO far left. My father still talks about him everyday and keeps a little shrine. My great-uncle Gennady lost his leg from the knee down due to unsanitary conditions in the camps. Why was he there? He handed out a few "Lenin would be unhappy with us" pamphlets. He tells the actual horror stories of guys reverting to animal behavior to survive. I'll probably ask him if my statement here was inappropriate when I visit him in Stavropol next weekend. He makes jokes all the time too. My father was in the Soviet military, where he saw a lot of gnarly things, and everyone in the household had to listen to his night terrors for years. [Probably why I suffered from insomnia as a child..] My grandfather retired as high ranking member of the military, still believes very strong in Soviet rhetoric and many of his views are authoritarian. So, quite frankly, I understand the seriousness of the authoritarian regimes. You didn't need to assume that I think the whole situation is one giant giggle or perhaps I'm too young to know anything. I'm not going to dwell on the darkness because I'd forever have to hate who I am, my "actual" roots and live in guilt. So, I laugh at the odd things I can find humor. If that is the sad state of a once glorious newspaper, I'll take it. If people make absurd statements, it's a natural process to laugh.
I think that's the thing with this website and the name: First, it comes with the variable of "hate". But, we don't dwell on the darkness here as we help each other and offer support. We take a very serious matter and see light at the end of the tunnel.
This site could've been named "Dialysis is the gateway to Hades" and I'd still join.
Quote from: UkrainianTracksuit on April 05, 2014, 07:49:46 AMThis site could've been named "Dialysis is the gateway to Hades" and I'd still join."Dialysis is the gateway to Hades."That's got my vote!
"In Soviet Union, dialysis hates you!"
As for the topic at hand, your point about the nursing forum is what most been saying here [as you know!]: It's not the dialysis we hate, it's all the crap that comes with it. It's good you shared that on a thread mentioning "hate" in a name. I've always believed that hate is a variable. Yes, it's a strong term but it can be both positive or negative depending with what it's aligned. If you hate something negative and with negative connotations, it's positive. [Example: I hate racism, I hate despots, I hate homophobia, I hate bananas.] We're all thankful dialysis keeps us alive but we hate the damage its caused, lives it has taken, the sometimes 'forks in the road'.
Previously you stated you aren't so keen on sharing your age and I understand that. However, for me, to find members here around the same age was such a relief. This terrible disease and its replacement therapies affect members in all age groups but I didn't "know how to live" at this point in life where big decisions have to be made. It's so easy to say, "Keep a positive attitude!" but not when you have a career or responsibilities on the line. When I noticed the forum's activity level and the variety of members, I realized this place could do nothing but help. Currently, it's been great to provide information to local patients. I ask permission and I translate simple things about the standards of cleanliness to diet information. I've googled after joining this forum and there are forums relevant to my location but a) they aren't too active all the time b) some of the information shared is one big WTH c) there's always some clown trying to sell an organ (It's not your typical 'i sell you kidney!' but more sophisticated) d) I become really sad hearing about patients unable to get a hold of medicines and dialysis supplies. Another thing is that there isn't much help directed for 'caregivers' anywhere like on here. It seems as though, as caregivers, all of our experiences mesh and those times when we have "ARGH!!!" moments, we are not alone and others understand. My boyfriend is surely not my caregiver but I wish so much he understood a snippet of English so he could read posts here. It would take out so much fear of the dialysis process, my ugly new graft and fearful thoughts of invalidity and death.
Transplants are not my experience nor is one in my path but I am extremely happy when people receive one. It's super also that there are many recipients here too to share their experiences through the process, the follow ups and enjoying life. All in all, from lurking on relevant groups for my area, it was a depressing experience and I didn't want that at all. In the end, I feel that this forum has the most active and best educated patients or members offering help. This site could've been named "Dialysis is the gateway to Hades" and I'd still join. I know the saying is "it's all in a name" but in this case, it's not. The name is part of it but the site has become SO much more.
To sum it all up, can we in general find different authoritarian examples in the future? Like errrr, "this place is becoming strict like a bald eagle at the top of a filing cabinet!" Sorry, bad idea, I guess IT IS easier to just pick blazing obvious examples from history. Either way, it's just as odd. Lastly, I wouldn't change a thing about this place. I just want everyone to get along if they agree or not.
Cariad, I apologize again for the long reply. I hardly get to "express myself" when it comes to this sphere so I get taken away. Good thing it's dinnertime to stop me!
I am throwing this out to see what people here think. I am not in any way trying to be presumptous or trying to take over here. I realize compared to some of you I am a realative newcomer as I have only been here about 9 months. I just came to a realization and wanted to get some input. Someone mentioned in a post that we have a bad reputation here amongst the "professionals" out there in nephrology and dialysis land. They wont recommend the site to their patients, thus we lose a lot of potential people we could be reaching and adding. Thats a shame. I wonder if part of the problem is the NAME, "IHATEDIALYSIS". I admit it turned me off originally and I stayed away for a long time before joining when I saw the name. It does conjur up the image of just whiny people feeling sorry for themselves. In fact that is NOT what I see here at all. Yet the name does kind of infer it. Look folks, no one in their right mind wants to be having to do dialysis. Thats a given. Its a hard life. But why rub it in with the name we use. Maybe we should look at what it is we are doing and discuss what we want the site to be? Then perhaps we could discuss the name. Again I am not trying to start a fight or upset the old timers here or the "owners" who do a great job keeping this running. I just would like to open a dialogue on this with the goal of getting more people to this site who may be staying away due to the name . Also I would love to see the professionals refer more of their patients here . We do a great service and can do more with more people. So its up to all you now. Lets "talk" about it. If the concensus is to keep the name , then so be it. If we do decide and the owners agree with a name change, then perhaps we can move on to new names. Thanks for listening.
For those who don't understand why Epoman named this site, I Hate Dialysis, please read his post and the attached arcticle:http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=922.msg9301#msg9301An excerpt from the interview with Bill Halcomb (Epoman):“The corporate boards are very moderated,” he said. “They delete posts, edit posts, and it made me feel silenced. I got fed up with it, and said ‘…I’ll just start my own board.’“The next step was to decide on a name for the site. Lots of sites start, but never get off the ground, so I wanted something that would shock people, but also interest them, and that’s where the name comes from.“Hate is a strong word, but it’s true. I am grateful for dialysis and will kiss the ground the creator of dialysis walks on, but I hate living with it, and I hate what it does to my body and how it makes me feel.”Very interesting reading.