Hang in there! The unknown is much worse than actually starting D. Which modality are you going to use? I do NxStage home hemo and have had very little trouble. I feel much better than I did in the months prior to starting. Once you get into a routine, dialysis becomes a part of your schedule. Not a part that you will look forward to, but certainly not something that you can't deal with. Try not to freak out about the whole thing until you experience it for yourself. I was dreading it so much that the actual procedure was much better than I expected. I would love to get a transplant sometime in the near future, but can deal with D until that happens. Hope you find the same to be true for you! Do your homework on whatever method you choose so you have an idea of what to expect. This site was so helpful to me in the weeks before I started. The people here have experience in all types of D and someone is bound to have answers to your questions!