so lonely these days

[dyann]

I know I am not the first dialysis pt to feel this way, however I just feel like this will never ever end and i will never have a normal life  per say, I mean 2 1/2 yrs 24 surgeries, 6 fistula placements only one working,  I am 48 amd still have a lot of life but I just feel so alone, no one who really understands and I talk to my therapist, but there is nothing like someone who can really get me,  sometimes I feel like I have no fight left in me.  ok well thanks for listening going to go to bed maybe things will look better in the morning.

[MooseMom]

 

I hope a good night's sleep will make things look much better.

[Chris]

The one thing that seems to keep me going with all my medical problems is comedy and keeping myself busy.While it may still occur, a night's sleep or staying up watching something funny to get mind offset. Other than that, I do not know how I made it.

[kristina]

The one thing that seems to keep me going with all my medical problems is comedy and keeping myself busy.While it may still occur, a night's sleep or staying up watching something funny to get mind offset. Other than that, I do not know how I made it.

Same goes for me.

Without many of those silly comedies I would not know
how I could possibly face everything
which is being thrown at me, again and again and again...

Best wishes from Kristina.

[Rain]

My mother is on dialysis as well and is diabetic so alot of problems.  She has had 4-5 graft placements all failed due to clothing, and all have been removed and numerous lines put in.  The last one was in the groin, until they could get her neck veins upped up again.  She has been on dialysis for 10 years, and already 1 failed kidney and pancreas transplant.  I understand how hard it is, since 7 years ago when the transplant failed (after 24 hrs) I saw the depression take hold cause that is when everything started failing.  But hang in there. 

She has been doing better lately cause she started doing some crafts again.  Keep busy, watch a funny show, just distract yourself as much as you can, and enjoy life.
Not sure if you have mobility issues, but go for a walk if you can.  Enjoy the fresh air.  And try to take on the  attitude that nothing will get you down and it wont.

After being on dialysis myself for 4.5 years I have an active life, to ensure that this condition didn't slow me down. 

[billybags]

dyann, hope you are feeling a lot better to-day. We all get fed up at times and question life. My husband who is the patient says he could not keep going through all this if I weren't there.So it must be terrible to be on your own. I also get fed up with the daily battles. Have you got any hobbies, do you knit, sew or read. I pass my spare time away knitting bonnet's for the prem babies at our hospital. Please don't get your self depressed, I know it is really hard not to. I am thinking of you.

[amanda100wilson]

I can understand how you feel.  It doesn't help when people say that everyone has their own problems.  Let's face it, most people, even healthy ones that having your health os one of the most importsnt things in life.  Come and vent on here, we are the people that do understand.  Are there any patient support groups in your area that you could go to?

Where do you live?  Maybe there is someone on here that lives close enough that you could meet up with them?  It wouldbe nice if we could get some sort of buddy system going with this group.  With skype and other such technologry, this should be a fairly easy option.  Anyone interested?  Amanda

[jeannea]

Dyann, I feel for you. It can feel very lonely. I am a few years younger than you and I have a little idea what you're talking about. I hope you feel better coming here. I don't live close to you but if you ever want to PM you can. I'm glad you have a therapist to talk to. All you can do is keep on keeping on.

[ToddB0130]

I too am hoping you're feeling better.  How are you feeling after dialysis ?  Are you active enough to meet people ? work ?  Do you have family nearby ?

Even though I've had kidney issues for about five years,  it was only about 18 months ago that my nephrologist starting saying my numbers were getting into a range where I started to need to look into dialysis and transplant options (I am still pre-D,  with a fistula throbbing away).

I started seeing a psychologist to deal with my upcoming 'new normal' ..... but I said nothing to anyone else at that point.  Family, friends, no one.  About 7 months ago,  I finally started talking about it all to those closest to me.   And it's the smartest thing I ever did.  Having people to talk  to about everything that's going on has been so helpful in dealing with it all.

My point is .... if you have some people in your life to share it with,  then do so.  It makes you feel less lonely.  If you can get involved with other people and develop relationships where you can share, it can help.  If you're in center,  maybe other patients or the social worker

Best of luck ....Here's hoping your lonely days are behind you.

[gkcoley]

i know the feeling, im 24, and this has been a lifelong thing...49 surgeries, 2 failed transplants, been on dialysis 17 years...just makes you feel lonely and wodner if its 'worth it'