I Hate The Needles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rerun]

This is the thing.  This is my third fistula.  It worked for 2 months and then they said it was narrowing so they did a fistula gram and split the fistula and in doing so knocked me out because I was in such PAIN and put in a stint and later on had to put in another chest catheter.  They tired the right side again for the catheter and again had to put me out because of such PAIN and I woke up with a catheter out the left side of my chest. 

I'm running out of options.  AND I'm not doing the fistula in my leg, back etc.  I'm not going to become one huge giant FISTULA.  So, at that point I guess I'd quit dialysis or commit suicide as some of you say.

Stauffenberg's words were comforting in that he had a catheter for almost 10 years.  It can be done. 

I would LOVE a good fistula and I have a big one.  The walls are just weak.  I just don't see it lasting.  I should probably start using it so I know while I still have a working catheter, but I just want a break from thinking about it.  Maybe that will be a goal for 2007.

[Panda_9]

I dont give a shit where they put my fistulas, as long as i can live.

[Rerun]

Well, I guess I do care.  You are going to die (news flash)    so I'd rather go with some dignity.

[Panda_9]

My dignity went out the window when I first went into hospital. I do have some left I guess.

[kevno]

The lines I have in now I have had in since 23rd October 2003 so nearly 3 years. I have a infection in the exit site of the lines, more antibiotics When the lines were first put in I manage 300 pump speed, over the years the speed has slowly gone down. Now can not get much over 220 pump speed. I am starting to feel it my URR's are at 65% normal on our unit is 70 - 75%. Now I am nearly being forced to have at least on needle. But that is I suppose my choice, with the flyer I wrote to all the Nurses on the unit about my needle phobia . Had this fistula since May 1980, it was a superb fistula the vein was dead straight and about 12inches long. But while having an operation I got dried out so the fistula stopped. The Surgeons waited over a year before they tried to restart it again. Now just a 2inch stretch which can be needled, no chance of getting any better. Already had a fistula in left arm in 1977 a Venus loop which as messed up that arm for another fistula. Both legs can not be used have calcified veins, plus a main vein was used for the Venus loop in 1977 in the right leg.

Rerun Keep on with your lines. In the end it is up to you

[stauffenberg]

I did not feel well on dialysis, but it had nothing to do with inadequate dialysis because of the catheter access.  My pump speed was always 450 and my Kt/V was 1.6, so my problems were mainly due to my body's inability to tolerate anything more than a minimal degree of toxins in the blood.

[angieskidney]

I hate the needles because when they cannulate me it seems that the needle is always right at the surface and I worry about it poking through and making the fistula "blow". I am getting the catheter out next week after having it in for a year but I am afraid that when that time comes that they will need to use the catheter again and it won't be there I feel the nurses and Nephrologists don't take me seriously and when I ask about buttonhole they keep putting me off. Plus the Renal Social Worker got replaced by another higher up in seniority who hasn't even BOTHERED to come by and introduce herself when she was supposed to. I can't learn to needle myself until they put me on the morning shift for the buttonhole and they say there is no room so too bad Plus with how "snakey" my fistula is they have a hard time with cannulating me And it rolls a lot which means they have to "fish around" to get a good flow

[tamara]

Well, I guess I do care. You are going to die (news flash) so I'd rather go with some dignity.

OK, Rerun,"dignity" if thats what u call it,  having an artificial  thing sticking out of you chest LOL

[kevno]

You forgot about the big bumpy thing down your arm tamara 

Anyway back to the needle thing. managed not to get needled the last Two times, the only thing is that today the Head Nurse noticed So no chance on Thursday. That  Beeping needle will be their on the table, I will do the usual thing and put it back in the draw, and hope my notes do not get read again by the Nurse who is putting me on. It's like a bit of a war with me and a couple of the Nurses. I can not help what I am like with the needles, the Nurses know that. So I try everything I know to get out of having a needle. But not every Nurse knows I am back using one needle. So I try to grab one of those Nurses to put me on Last two times it as worked. The only trouble is I am running out of Nurses who do not know about the needle thing 

I know that the Nurses are doing this for my own good. Get such a bad dialysis because of the lines. I will some how manage, been back on haemo for 6 years now. For the first year I was having two needles, but then all the trouble with the fistula stopping. Just got too used to using the lines. Two hands free Get on and off the machine so quick. No waiting to stop bleeding Needles Lines

[AlasdairUK]

Kevno,

The choice is yours. If you do not want to use your fistula you have the right to tell them. In your own words you have told us that your dialysis is very poor through the permcath. This to me would mean needles line  . I know which I would chose, you have been on dialysis a long time and know all about it.

I know that when you create a mental state against something it becomes very hard to change. Its only a needle, I'm sure you have gone through worse. Use lidocaine if you have to or EMLA cream.

PS. you are making us boys look bad. 

I  do hope you manage to get over the fear.

Cheers
Alasdair

[kitkatz]

Okay Kevno. It's okay to be afraid of it, but it is just one needle every three days.  Here I will let you calculate how many times I have been stuck. Let's see.
First three months on catheters at the beginning, one month of catheter later on with revised graph, so subtract 24 sticks for four months,
that is 96 sticks to subtract.
Now 8 years, never missed a treatment 
12 dialysis days in an average month, 2 sticks a day= 12*2=24 sticks in a month, right?
12 months in a year, right? 24*12=288 sticks a year.
8years-right?  288*8 (November 2, 2006)= 2304 sticks in eight years.
2304- catheter months= 2304- 96=2212
Minus two months until November  2212-48=2164

Holy cats!  I have been stuck over 2164 times!    I feel like a pin cushion!  Now if I can do it, you can, too.
We ALL know who is the "coward of the county" around here! Me!
Love and kisses to all the pin cushions out there in dialysisland!

[kevno]

Never afraid of a needle, not even the pain if any pain, been through so much pain in the past. It is so strange, like I said, I have seen two Docs and one Prof about it. I have wrote three lever arch files about what as been done to me over the past 34 years, to try to help with the phobia. It is the flash backs from when I was a child which I can not get rid of, they are so powerful. what ever I try even with what the three specialists have said to try to help me. If I wait to get on the machine I get very nervous. Then have to get off the unit for a walk. Thats one reason why I get to the unit late, so I am last on  BUT I do not have to hang around to get on. But while I am being put on thats when the flash backs start, I have to hold the top of my arm, as if I am holding myself down Then if it is a Nurse I am not use too. I still sometimes not always have to get out of that chair, and off the unit. After I have had a walk I do feel I bit better, just a bit sorry for the nurse I have walked out on. I am a lot better if it is a nurse I have known for some time. Who puts me on.

Kitkatz lost count of needle sticks years again. From when I was six years old and a doctor having go after go at getting a needle in a vein in the end being told to stop by my Mum, and get a more competent Doctor. Thats from where it starts from. Seeing all those nurses over you through tear full eyes. Not being able to move because of being held down. Powerful memories. Easy to say that was then, and now is now. It does not always work like that.

 

[Rerun]

Okay, I've been to a counselor....so let me try:

Kevno, you need to take each nurse and doctor that held you down and "forgive" them.  Once you forgive them, write them a letter telling them you forgive them.  Then burn each letter and as the smoke goes up, so do your fears.  Poof-gone......

(If this works, I want PAID)

[kitkatz]

Kevno,
Have you tried hypnosis with a good hypnosis therapist?

[angieskidney]

Kevno,
Have you tried hypnosis with a good hypnosis therapist?

Ya that is what I was going to suggest because some things no matter how hard you try to get past you won't. Like me and swollowing huge pills  . I had severe tonisillitis growing up and had the hardest time with pills and said the only way I will get past this is hypnosis. I never got it .. so I am just slowly working my way up ... but hypnosis might do the trick.

But I hate needles myself as well. Not the pain. I am used to the pain. It is more the fact that what might happen if they screw up! And the feeling of not being in control!

[Stacy Without An E]

After 20 years of being on immunosuppresives, I've discovered that my resistence to pain has diminished, so I know exactly what you're talking about. When I was in the hospital after my first transplant, I was only 12 years old and they started to run out of placed to put the IV.  They went so far as to try my foot where, as you probably know, nerves are VERY sensitive.  They had to get some nurses to hold me down and the "gentleman" trying to put them in just screamed, "Jesuis, just shut up Stacy!"

So part of the fear is obviously psychological.

I've tried the Emla (sp?) Cream and it never really did much of anything and wasn't cheap either.

My dirty little secret is my doctor continues to supply me with Vicodin.  It doesn't really curb the pain, but it makes it easier to deal with.  I don't use it every time because after long term use it really messes with my digestive system, so it's used maybe once a week.

I also have the habit of squeezing my upper arm really hard so my focus is diverted from the needle pain to the upper arm.  This is also psychological because by doing so, I'm in control of the pain I'm focusing on at that moment.

I doubt any of the above helped.  Just know htat you're not alone in your hate for Dialysis needles.

Stacy Without An E

stacywithoutane.blogspot.com

First Transplant: 1983
Second Transplant: 1996
Third Transplant: ANY DAY NOW

[angieskidney]

I've tried the Emla (sp?) Cream and it never really did much of anything and wasn't cheap either.

Did you use syran wrap with it? I found it only worked with it. Since without it would evaporate too fast. And it had to be on a full hour.

[kitkatz]

I have decided that dialysis needles suck!

[AlasdairUK]

I don't mind the needles. What I hate is the tape they use to keep them in place. My arm seems to react and i have red, itchy patches because of it.

I think there is a tape called Yuki which is supposed to be very good if you are allergic to plasters.

This seems to take my mind off the needles.

[BigSky]

Did you use syran wrap with it? I found it only worked with it. Since without it would evaporate too fast. And it had to be on a full hour.

Have you tried the EMLA patches?

[angieskidney]

I don't mind the needles. What I hate is the tape they use to keep them in place. My arm seems to react and i have red, itchy patches because of it.

I think there is a tape called Yuki which is supposed to be very good if you are allergic to plasters.

This seems to take my mind off the needles.

Ya it does the same to me! Once my one nurse brought us all tape that was like silk and my skin liked it but now that I ran out we have got no more   And then there is this ONE nurse who takes the tape and I saw "hold on! Don't use that tape on me!" and she sys, "Too late! You are getting this  tape this time!" 

Did you use syran wrap with it? I found it only worked with it. Since without it would evaporate too fast. And it had to be on a full hour.

Have you tried the EMLA patches?

Emla patches??? Where can you get them!?!?!

[BigSky]

Emla patches??? Where can you get them!?!?!

Should be able to get them at the pharmacy.  Though I believe they are pretty spendy also.

[Panda_9]

I don't mind the needles. What I hate is the tape they use to keep them in place. My arm seems to react and i have red, itchy patches because of it.

I think there is a tape called Yuki which is supposed to be very good if you are allergic to plasters.

This seems to take my mind off the needles.

Ya it does the same to me! Once my one nurse brought us all tape that was like silk and my skin liked it but now that I ran out we have got no more   And then there is this ONE nurse who takes the tape and I saw "hold on! Don't use that tape on me!" and she sys, "Too late! You are getting this  tape this time!" 

Did you use syran wrap with it? I found it only worked with it. Since without it would evaporate too fast. And it had to be on a full hour.

Have you tried the EMLA patches?

Emla patches??? Where can you get them!?!?!

Too late?? WTF?? What a bitch!!! I use the yuki ban tape, it is alot better than the usual micropore, but I still itch. A few times I have been in-centre and I get there and the dressing pack is already set up and a ton of micropore all laid out, and I have to say oh Im sorry I cant use that tape. Now days if I go in centre I take all my own stuff, and they know now I am happy to set up everything myself.

[angieskidney]

Ya it does the same to me! Once my one nurse brought us all tape that was like silk and my skin liked it but now that I ran out we have got no more   And then there is this ONE nurse who takes the tape and I saw "hold on! Don't use that tape on me!" and she sys, "Too late! You are getting this  tape this time!" 

Too late?? WTF?? What a bitch!!! I use the yuki ban tape, it is alot better than the usual micropore, but I still itch. A few times I have been in-centre and I get there and the dressing pack is already set up and a ton of micropore all laid out, and I have to say oh Im sorry I cant use that tape. Now days if I go in centre I take all my own stuff, and they know now I am happy to set up everything myself.

Ya yesterday the nurse had laid out all my tape as well I hate it when they do it for me! Another patient was also complaining how this is the Self Care unit yet they have not taught her a damn thing. The nurses basically like to do it all themselves as they say it is faster and easier instead of them waiting on us. Well TOUGH!! It is OUR life it is OUR health! Would they like to trade with us? Geeze!!

But yes, I also hate it when they lay out my tape for me ... I want to have more control over my care! Not for them to do it to save time for them! 

[kitkatz]

Angiem you have to KICK ASS and take names! Take care of you and the nurses do NOT have anything to do but what YOU need!