What makes it worth the effort?

[nextnoel]

I did everything I always wanted.  It is not suprising that this sort of happiness is questioned by so many.  

I think anyone who has done everything he or she always wanted is lacking in imagination; maybe you did everything you wanted, but couldn't imagine how much more there is.  And I think the reason ". . . that this sort of happiness is questioned by so many" is that so many don't see what you describe as true happiness.  It's a little like someone who's never seen color TV thinking black & white TV is the ultimate! 

That said, your posts are interesting, and I expect if you continue living this life, many people will be able to learn a lot from you!

[lost sheep]

If I can't eat, drink, and have sex when I want, then it's basically over.  There are no famous philosophers that have documented the pourpose of life because there is no one pourpose of life.  It's a ride for you to enjoy.  You get on.  You get off.  And when the ride is over you get on it again.  The purpose is to have the best time you can.  I have been lucky enough to ride for as long as I have.  It has been most exciting!  I don't have to fight for my life, changing everything about myself.  That, to me, is sad.   I don't mean it to be sad for anyone who chooses to fight.  For some it may be a purpose.  Not everyone that is fighting life threatening situations has "something else to do, something else to live for."  That, like many other phrases, are made by those who care about an individual.  How many people with significant time invested in their "fight" can tell you what their other reason for being here is?  If you have read this thread than you will know I am not referring to those with families and such.  IF I were a grizzly bear, had a grizzly bear family,  and had been shot by a hunter then I most certainly would live for as long as I could.  Or at least tried to kill that s.o.b.  The same bear before he made bear cubs walks into the same hunter in the forest and the hunter shoots him.  The bear would try to find some honey or a comfortable place to rest.

I have not been very impressed with the majority of responses although there were a couple that it seems the writer took some time with before responding some form of B.S.  mostly about themselves and not the subject at hand.  Epoman, I am most disappointed in you.  For someone with enough (whatever it is) to start and operate a site such as this one, I really thought you could have been more....interesting?  One of the last posts you made  you said, "I personally believe when it's your time, there is nothing medical science can do to stop it."  This statement goes to show your lack of preception of life.  Understandably distorted since living with all the problems that you have lived with since a tender age.  Medical science can keep people alive for a very long time but is living in a coma on a breathing machine life?  Oh yea, it must be, it just cannot be time yet.  To have peace with life is not something to be discouraged.

[meadowlandsnj]

I have not been very impressed with the majority of responses although there were a couple that it seems the writer took some time with before responding some form of B.S.  mostly about themselves and not the subject at hand.  Epoman, I am most disappointed in you.  For someone with enough (whatever it is) to start and operate a site such as this one, I really thought you could have been more....interesting?  One of the last posts you made  you said, "I personally believe when it's your time, there is nothing medical science can do to stop it."  This statement goes to show your lack of preception of life.  Understandably distorted since living with all the problems that you have lived with since a tender age.  Medical science can keep people alive for a very long time but is living in a coma on a breathing machine life?  Oh yea, it must be, it just cannot be time yet.  To have peace with life is not something to be discouraged.

I hope you can find whatever you were looking for.  I really don't know what else to say after reading this passage. 

Donna

[lost sheep]

The point is that if you know where to look it can be found (I did).  Saying nothing is better than some of the crap I have read anyway.  Thank you.

[Epoman]

If I can't eat, drink, and have sex when I want, then it's basically over.  There are no famous philosophers that have documented the pourpose of life because there is no one pourpose of life.  It's a ride for you to enjoy.  You get on.  You get off.  And when the ride is over you get on it again.  The purpose is to have the best time you can.  I have been lucky enough to ride for as long as I have.  It has been most exciting!  I don't have to fight for my life, changing everything about myself.  That, to me, is sad.   I don't mean it to be sad for anyone who chooses to fight.  For some it may be a purpose.  Not everyone that is fighting life threatening situations has "something else to do, something else to live for."  That, like many other phrases, are made by those who care about an individual.  How many people with significant time invested in their "fight" can tell you what their other reason for being here is?  If you have read this thread than you will know I am not referring to those with families and such.  IF I were a grizzly bear, had a grizzly bear family,  and had been shot by a hunter then I most certainly would live for as long as I could.  Or at least tried to kill that s.o.b.  The same bear before he made bear cubs walks into the same hunter in the forest and the hunter shoots him.  The bear would try to find some honey or a comfortable place to rest.

I have not been very impressed with the majority of responses although there were a couple that it seems the writer took some time with before responding some form of B.S.  mostly about themselves and not the subject at hand.  Epoman, I am most disappointed in you.  For someone with enough (whatever it is) to start and operate a site such as this one, I really thought you could have been more....interesting?  One of the last posts you made  you said, "I personally believe when it's your time, there is nothing medical science can do to stop it."  This statement goes to show your lack of preception of life.  Understandably distorted since living with all the problems that you have lived with since a tender age.  Medical science can keep people alive for a very long time but is living in a coma on a breathing machine life?  Oh yea, it must be, it just cannot be time yet.  To have peace with life is not something to be discouraged.

"If I can't eat, drink, and have sex when I want, then it's basically over."

WOW, I am so glad I was raised to not be so shallow. To you "life" is eating, drinking, and having sex. What about the "coke" and "whipits"?

"There are no famous philosophers that have documented the pourpose of life because there is no one pourpose of life.  It's a ride for you to enjoy.  You get on.  You get off.  And when the ride is over you get on it again."

Well that sure explains a lot of why you feel the way you do. I don't want to turn this in to a religious debate, so good luck in your next life. 

Epoman, I am most disappointed in you.  For someone with enough (whatever it is) to start and operate a site such as this one, I really thought you could have been more....interesting?

You have no idea how much that comment hurts me, I soooo want your approval. Please, please like me. I'll try not to disappoint you anymore....PLEASE.........  Oh I know, let me do a line of "Coke" maybe then I will get more interesting, and I will fit in more with someone like you. ROCK ON DUDE!

- Epoman

[BigSky]

I have not been very impressed with the majority of responses although there were a couple that it seems the writer took some time with before responding some form of B.S.  mostly about themselves and not the subject at hand.  Epoman, I am most disappointed in you.  For someone with enough (whatever it is) to start and operate a site such as this one, I really thought you could have been more....interesting? 

Really, maybe you should consider the  condescending bs you have posted.

[Zach]

It's better to wear out than rust out.

[lost sheep]

To keep going back and forth is probably more excitement than I can handle without kidney function.  Epoman, Your remarks are very much like a child's.  Did the loss of your kidneys at a young age prevent you from growing up and having the childhood so many are fortunate to have.  I'm sorry man, I guess you're making the best of it though!

[Joe Paul]

Lost sheep, why are you so full of hate 

[Epoman]

To keep going back and forth is probably more excitement than I can handle without kidney function.  Epoman, Your remarks are very much like a child's.  Did the loss of your kidneys at a young age prevent you from growing up and having the childhood so many are fortunate to have.  I'm sorry man, I guess you're making the best of it though!

Oh yeah sorry, I forgot you are a quitter. I know you can't handle situations real well unless it involves cocaine, tell you what, go do a line and maybe you'll feel better. Then you can reflect on your wonderful fulling life.

"I guess you're making the best of it though!" - Yes I am, unlike you who comes on this site and complains that their life is over because you can no longer eat and drink what you want. Shall I quote you? "If I can't eat, drink, and have sex when I want, then it's basically over." How dare you come on this site and insult people who have been "fighting" this disease for years or even decades.

- Epoman

[AlasdairUK]

I remember when I re-started hemo and I thought I would not be able to live a full life and was worried as to how I would adapt. It takes a while to fully understand how dialysis works and how the body reacts to the treatment.

I would like to believe I have lived a full life, but have not done everything I want to do in life. There is always more to do and enjoy, even if it is just to sit done with a mate watch a game and have a beer. There is no reason that you can not live a full and proactive life on dialysis. You mentioned you are currently not working due to health problems. What else do you have besides kidney failure?  Maybe you need to find more purpose in your life?

You need to come to terms with your illness and accept it and figure out how to incorporate it into your life instead of letting it stop your life. I started dialysis when I was in pediatrics and have seen many people die because they where not strong enough to cope. Many people do live a full life on dialysis, but it is up to you if you want to put the effort in. If you do, you need to find things that make you want to fight. You need to have goals that you want to achieve. ie travel, get a job, improve your health, learn a language. You need to have friends, family that you want to live for. If you don't then what do we live for ? What motivates any of us ?

There are many caring people at IHD that will help you get through the first few months before you adapt and start to live a full life. I realise that it is a tough time and there is always resistance to change, especially the unknown.

PS. There isn't anything stopping you from still having sex, alcohol and rock'n roll

[kitkatz]

I have come to believe you are here just to stir things up around here. Let's have a little fun with the dialysis aptients and tell them life is over for me.  Well boo hoo!  I have had it with this thread.  I find your attitude insulting and degrading to all of the people I know and LIKE on this board.  From here on out I am done with this thread.  You do not really want our help or opinions, you just want to stir up the pot.  So go stir it up somewhere else.

[shay_pcb]

I have come to believe you are here just to stir things up around here. Let's have a little fun with the dialysis aptients and tell them life is over for me.  Well boo hoo!  I have had it with this thread.  I find your attitude insulting and degrading to all of the people I know and LIKE on this board.  From here on out I am done with this thread.  You do not really want our help or opinions, you just want to stir up the pot.  So go stir it up somewhere else.

I second that!! 

[Sluff]

To keep going back and forth is probably more excitement than I can handle without kidney function.  Epoman, Your remarks are very much like a child's.  Did the loss of your kidneys at a young age prevent you from growing up and having the childhood so many are fortunate to have.  I'm sorry man, I guess you're making the best of it though!

Lost sheep if your not satisfied with the information you recieve from IHD then Why are you here? Why don't you just end it all and quit being a coward about it. You seem to talk a big line but anyone who is serious about ending their life would just do it. You are reaching out for something or you wouldn't be here. So come clean and tell us what you are looking for. A lot of members here have tried to reach out and help you and all you do is slap them in the face. I will not allow this to continue, so decide exactly what you want from IHD or leave voluntarily. Our members here deserve to be treated better, instead of tolerating someone like you.

Sluff, Moderator

[RichardMEL]

OK I'm back with another opinion that perhaps lost sheep will find un-impressive. So be it.

His 2nd last post, about the eat, drink and be merry sums things up for me. For him (and I am trying to take the arrogant and insulting stuff out of this) is about QUALITY of life vs. QUANTITY.

I think this is a basic desire most people in the world have at their core.

The issue I have though is that lost sheep appears to have decide it's over before he's really begun to see what he can and can't do on dialysis.

Sure, you DO need to change some things, but actually I have been reasonably surprised with some aspects I did not need to change as much... As it happens I didn't eat a lot of the high-potassium foods anyway, so keeping those out or low was no real problem. Yes, the drinking is an issue, but if lost sheep did PD or home hemo nightly I understand there is little to stop him from drinking as much as he wants. Although I don't recommend self needling when drunk (or in some other kind of altered state..). Oh yeah and I still have sex... most of the time it works as expected :-) (well when I get a chance that is, but that's a whole other argument )

It's funny really because for someone who appears to enjoy a fairly hedonistic lifestyle, one would think you'd want to do as much as you could to keep enjoying the base physical pleasures (eat, drink, sex) rather than throw it all in.

I can understand the feelings of frustration and limits that dialysis imposes. I can also understand that your quality of life will go down by a certain measure.. but if you give up and pack it in your quality and qantity of life will be the same: zero.

I think you should consider VERY carefully your future actions, because some are very finite!

I think many people here are fine examples of having a fine quality of life while living with kidney diease. I guess life is what you make of it....

[shay_pcb]

I don't know if it matters, but if he felt his life was truly fulfilled and he had nothing else left to do, then he wouldn't have started dialysis in the first place to prolong his already fulfilled life. It doesn't make sense.

[Sluff]

OK I'm back with another opinion that perhaps lost sheep will find un-impressive. So be it.

His 2nd last post, about the eat, drink and be merry sums things up for me. For him (and I am trying to take the arrogant and insulting stuff out of this) is about QUALITY of life vs. QUANTITY.

I think this is a basic desire most people in the world have at their core.

The issue I have though is that lost sheep appears to have decide it's over before he's really begun to see what he can and can't do on dialysis.

Sure, you DO need to change some things, but actually I have been reasonably surprised with some aspects I did not need to change as much... As it happens I didn't eat a lot of the high-potassium foods anyway, so keeping those out or low was no real problem. Yes, the drinking is an issue, but if lost sheep did PD or home hemo nightly I understand there is little to stop him from drinking as much as he wants. Although I don't recommend self needling when drunk (or in some other kind of altered state..). Oh yeah and I still have sex... most of the time it works as expected :-) (well when I get a chance that is, but that's a whole other argument )

It's funny really because for someone who appears to enjoy a fairly hedonistic lifestyle, one would think you'd want to do as much as you could to keep enjoying the base physical pleasures (eat, drink, sex) rather than throw it all in.

I can understand the feelings of frustration and limits that dialysis imposes. I can also understand that your quality of life will go down by a certain measure.. but if you give up and pack it in your quality and qantity of life will be the same: zero.

I think you should consider VERY carefully your future actions, because some are very finite!

I think many people here are fine examples of having a fine quality of life while living with kidney diease. I guess life is what you make of it....

RichardMEL I think you are a Saint to have the patience you seem to have, and the zest for life and the willingness, to help someone that seems to have their mind made up.

[RichardMEL]

Thanks for the kind word *blush*

of course lost could just be a troll on here delighting in the reaction he gets. Hey, some people are like that.

Note though that, taking lost's words on face value, while I understand his argument in terms of quality if life, I don't personally condone what he considers to be a good lifestyle, or rather all there is to life (as in sex, drugs, rock'n roll)...  but I can understand someone who has those views feeling their quality of life being diminished by dialysis... and I guess by extension I can apprieciate feelings of wanting to throw it in.

but that isn't for me damnit I want heaps more sex before I give it in!!! *grin*

[Joe Paul]

Thanks for the kind word *blush*

of course lost could just be a troll on here delighting in the reaction he gets. Hey, some people are like that.

Note though that, taking lost's words on face value, while I understand his argument in terms of quality if life, I don't personally condone what he considers to be a good lifestyle, or rather all there is to life (as in sex, drugs, rock'n roll)...  but I can understand someone who has those views feeling their quality of life being diminished by dialysis... and I guess by extension I can apprieciate feelings of wanting to throw it in.

but that isn't for me damnit I want heaps more sex before I give it in!!! *grin*

I'm sure Epoman is on top of whoever this is, someone serious, or breaking balls.

[lost sheep]

Just so you know.....I am not just breaking balls here.  I have IGAN.  I had a seizure at work, was taken to the hospital and THEY started me on dialysis.  I have been going to a center for a couple of months now and will continue to go until I'm not exactly sure yet.  I would like to spend a week or so with my grandparents first.  I still haven't spent all of the money yet either!  I think its nice to not go so suddenly, its not such a shock for anybody.

Thanks to the few responders who took time to put thought into their words before using them.

I know this can be a difficult subject and some people act as they do because of what they have invested.  I also might be too proud of what I have done after fighting for so long.  So proud that everyone else must also choose as I have for it is the best way.

I would have liked to have had a better understanding but it seems a bit late.  You are only welcomed to this site if you think as majority population.  I do not.  Good luck to you all and God Bless.  Ask St.Benedict for his help.

[Sluff]

I would like to spend a week or so with my grandparents first.  I still haven't spent all of the money yet either!  I think its nice to not go so suddenly, its not such a shock for anybody.

Thanks to the few responders who took time to put thought into their words before using them.

I know this can be a difficult subject and some people act as they do because of what they have invested.  I also might be too proud of what I have done after fighting for so long.  So proud that everyone else must also choose as I have for it is the best way.

  You are only welcomed to this site if you think as majority population.  I do not.  .  Ask St.Benedict for his help.

So you're not really ready to quit dialysis yet because you want to visit your grandparents, and the money hasn't ran out yet. So just when will the right time be? A few days ago it was the right time. Now your changing your tune. Did you ever think maybe your granparents might like to have you around for a long time? Oh thats right this isn't about them is it.

Your statement about "your only welcome here if you think as the majority population." is the furthest statement from the truth yet.

This entire site is full of debated issues and bothsides of the issues are fully disclosed in public view. 

I will repeat myself.. if you don't like it here then leave voluntarily.

There is no sense in beating a dead horse here. You have your view and some of us have our view. There is nothing wrong with that, but making statements that are negative about this site and it's members will not be tolerated.

You are welcome to debate issues, search for answers, ask for advice, and even voice your opinion about the subject at hand. If you continue to make negative statements about this site or it's members I will be forced to recomend that Administration BAN you from IHD and it's family of sites.

If you truely feel the way you claim about this site,  than why do you continue to visit this site. Doesn't make sense to me, unless you have other negative intentions.

Sluff, Moderator

[Epoman]

Just so you know.....I am not just breaking balls here.  I have IGAN.  I had a seizure at work, was taken to the hospital and THEY started me on dialysis.  I have been going to a center for a couple of months now and will continue to go until I'm not exactly sure yet.  I would like to spend a week or so with my grandparents first.  I still haven't spent all of the money yet either!  I think its nice to not go so suddenly, its not such a shock for anybody.

Thanks to the few responders who took time to put thought into their words before using them.

I know this can be a difficult subject and some people act as they do because of what they have invested.  I also might be too proud of what I have done after fighting for so long.  So proud that everyone else must also choose as I have for it is the best way.

I would have liked to have had a better understanding but it seems a bit late.  You are only welcomed to this site if you think as majority population.  I do not.  Good luck to you all and God Bless.  Ask St.Benedict for his help.

Really? Is that how you see it? That's funny because we have members from all walks of life and from all different backgrounds of "belief". We even had a devil worshiper who was welcomed on the site.

I would have liked to have had a better understanding but it seems a bit late.  You are only welcomed to this site if you think as majority population. I do not.

No, you would have liked for us to agree with YOUR beliefs, coddle you and tell you how sorry we are this has happened in your life, and that you are such a remarkable person and that kidney disease should have never happened to you in the first place. You only want to hear what YOU want to hear. Your problem is that you like to think that you are so different than anyone else, shall I quote you?:

I have known for a long time that I am gifted and special

You want to live by your OWN rules, well sorry but in a civilized society there must be rules in place. I think your biggest problem with me is that I do not condone your drug abuse life style. And I am literally sickened by your statement about giving up. Let me quote you again:

If I can't eat, drink, and have sex when I want, then it's basically over.

I'll say it again, to me that is a slap in the face to the members here who have been fighting Kidney Disease and Dialysis for years even decades.

I hope by this final statement of yours:

Good luck to you all and God Bless.  Ask St.Benedict for his help.

That means you will not be coming back to this site, so I too wish you luck and because even with all my health problems and being confined to a wheelchair I would not want to trade places with you, because you seem to be a very UNFULFILLED person even though you try to make it seem you are indeed FULLFILLED, because if you had truly done EVERYTHING you wanted in this life, and if you truly felt at peace and were ready to move on to the afterlife. You would embrace it and not come here to IHD looking for answers, and the things we said would not matter and you would not try to defend your actions as you would be at peace and know the truth in your heart.

But before you leave, can you leave us your emergency contact information? I think a lot of us would like to know if you "quit and gave up" or if you finally got out of your pity party and decided embrace life no matter the odds.

- Epoman

[nextnoel]

I think you should give fighting for your life a try - there's a lot of satisfaction to stepping up to the plate!

[Zach]

Ask St.Benedict for his help.

I think you need to ask St. Jude for his help.

[paris]

Wow, I just read thru this thread.  I cannot imagine the day will come when I say I have done it all and I am ready to die.  I have done alot  ( well, not the "two chicks" thing!!) -- seen much of the world, worked with all types of people.  I truly feel ESRD has made me appreciate everything even more. Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone; we need to live every day with wonder and amazement.  Joe Paul, Sliff, Zach seem to all have such wonderful outlook on life and there posts make me want keep going. Epoman gives us a place to have a voice; Lost Sheep, what have you really done except please yourself?     If that is how you truly feel, why don't you step aside and let the people who want to live, have your space on this incredible earth?