sick of the fake well wishers

[rsudock]

I love this post and I find myself sick of well wishers too! I also think that maybe I have to high of expectations of people. Really besides asking me "how are you doing?" What can other people really do?
For example my mother has 8 brothers and sisters and they all have 2 to 4 children and all of them have kids too!! Neil and I are the ONLY ones sick with kidney disease...do you know how many of them have offered to be tested? NO ONE!!

Now is that b/c my mother has never advocated to the family for us or is it b/c my family is too selfish and dense? Now that I am older and with Facebook my extended family is well aware of our situation...and it took a stranger basically to save my life! So forgive me for not caring about going to family reunions. If your family doesn't feel an urge to save you, who the heck will?

Also when it comes to religion I have to admit I am sick of people being christians but never really stepping up in a christ like away. Yes go to church and say your prayers but God teaches us about giving your life to a friend...most people are not putting their money where their mouths are.

Friends ha don't get me started...even my own mother with this transplant hasn't been up one time to see me or help me since surgery.

Bottom line - trust in yourself and hang on tight b/c no one will ever really get your situation. They are just relieved not to be living it...

Sorry I know that sounds cynical but I am just a little bitter...even though I feel like I don't have the right to be...

[lmunchkin]

Well Rachael, I want to personally apologize to you for my comments!  That was totally unexceptable and I snapped without thinking. I know that you and I have spoke since this incident and you informed all that everything was "Great".  I appreciate your doing that, but I felt you deserved a PUBLIC APOLOGY, as well!  Your'e kindness towards me is very overwhelming and gracious!  Again, I am so sorry, Rachael!


To all at IHD, I am so sorry for the awful words that you witnessed on this very thread!  I can not take what I have done back, but was overwhelmed to those of you who PM'd me.  I don't deserve it!  I WILL BE JUDGED BY WHAT I DID, but know that Jesus washed it away with his blood!

Okarol, thanks for giving me this opportunity to correct a GRAVE INJUSTICE on my behalf!

[MooseMom]

Dear lmunchkin,    I really don't think Rachel was condemning every healthy person.  I would ask you to put yourself in her position and try to imagine what it must feel like to have your family turn your back on you in your hour of need.  A true Christian would not judge Rachel but would instead try to understand what she is feeling.  Instead of scorning her, perhaps you could show some patience and compassion.  This is what living a "Christian life" is all about, and it should not be so very difficult.   She feels hurt and so deeply betrayed by people who claim to love her, and for you to chastise her seems so very harsh and so very unlike you.

[rsudock]

Well Rachael, I'm sorry you feel that way.  Iam a Christian, and a little news flash for you, we are like you, NOT PERFECT!  And I do my darndest to help anyone I can with a husband who is dying from this dreadful disease!  You at least were blessed by someone to get your transplant but yet you want to judge everybody for not Donating to you! 

If you don't want the prayers of Christian people who will not donate or give their life for you, then so be it.  You and I are after all Mortal.  We are all going to die someday.  If you wish me to fly and die for you, then it's not like I have anything to be responsible for here, just say the word!

I seem to be the only Christian on this site, cause I don't see anyone expressing anything about it.  So I will wait your response and never post here again!

I do my best to uplift people on this site, but yea there are very ungrateful people who condemn the healthy for everything. Parents not donating kidney to a child as being incapable of love! How awful that a family member asked prayers instead of giving a kidney to safe the life!  Then put Christians down because they don't act or do anything for ME!

God Forgive Me, but I have tried, but I want nothing more to do with these people!  You were blessed by the kidney of a stranger, and you act this way towards strangers? 


lmunchkin       

P.S.  I want all to know at IHD.  I can take personal criticisms about my personal life, but I can't take it when someone disrespects my Lord, and his people who have chosen to follow him.  It is not easy living a Christian life and for those of you with this Disease, you would think that most would embrace it.  Never say I never tried!

Lmunchkin I am sorry that I upset you...forgive me. I shouldn't use overarching statements and lump everyone together in the same boat. I love my IHD family and I know how supportive you all are...you all are like my second family. I was just trying to get some advice of how I can let go of this anger that I have...I don't want to feel angry towards my family or God for that matter. When reading this thread I could relate to how many posters just feel angry and tired of fake well wishers. This disease has so many ups and downs, sometimes I do not know how to feel about things. Like I said I do feel very guilty for feeling like this and maybe I do have to high of expectations for family members. Again I am in awe of my donor for being so selfless and loving. It does restore my faith in the human race...next time though I may not be that lucky. Anyway again my apologize for upsetting you or anyone of the Christian faith....I guess I just meant religious folks in general. So many times I hear people say "I wish I could take away their pain or help them." and with kidney disease there is an opportunity to really help the person that suffers...but I am not sure if people really would step up to the plate and help; since my own family doesn't seem really bothered to help.

I hope you don't stop posting. I enjoy your posts Thank you for your continued love, prayers, and support!

xo,
R


Moosemama,
 Thank you.

[MooseMom]

rsudock, you've experienced the entire spectrum of human response to the need to help another person.  Just going by your profile, you've been blessed with a cadaver kidney; someone had to have given permission for that organ to be taken from a loved one and given to you.  That's a real blessing.  Then, you've had your family/friends not seem to give a hoot about your wellbeing; I know that is terribly, terribly painful.  But wait!  It doesn't stop there!  You THEN receive a kidney from a LIVE donor, someone who is a virtual stranger to you!  I'll bet there are days when you don't know what to feel...anger with your family or blessed by the actions of your two donors!   Both reactions are perfectly valid because it is true that your family has not stepped up, but it is equally true that strangers HAVE.

Sometimes you just have to make a decision on how you are going to feel.  Today, feel happy and blessed.  Tomorrow, feel happy and blessed.  The next day, feel happy and blessed, and the day after that and the day after that and soon it will just become habit!  Continue to help your dear brother; you are so kind to him. 

[galvo]

Rachael, I've been posting here for a while, and this is the first time I've got cranky! NOT at you. I can identify with all you said and can apply it to my circumstances.

But the reply from lmunchkin sickened me. It was insensitive, abusive, hurtful and decidedly non-christian. If you are still flapping around, lmunchkin, I see you as a "painted sepulchre". "And God will at length lay you open and expose the filthiness contained within to the view of the whole world". You say you'll never post here again. Good!

Rachael , I don't know you , but I've followed your kidney adventures with great interest and I admire you immensely. I know that you don't need me to fight your battles for you. But lmunchkins selfish, holier- than- thou diatribe got right up my kilt!

Finally, lmunchkin, if you're still lurking, one strict instruction. Do NOT pray to your God on my behalf! Oh and

[okarol]

Rachael, I've been posting here for a while, and this is the first time I've got cranky! NOT at you. I can identify with all you said and can apply it to my circumstances.

But the reply from lmunchkin sickened me. It was insensitive, abusive, hurtful and decidedly non-christian. If you are still flapping around, lmunchkin, I see you as a "painted sepulchre". "And God will at length lay you open and expose the filthiness contained within to the view of the whole world". You say you'll never post here again. Good!

Rachael , I don't know you , but I've followed your kidney adventures with great interest and I admire you immensely. I know that you don't need me to fight your battles for you. But lmunchkins selfish, holier- than- thou diatribe got right up my kilt!

Finally, lmunchkin, if you're still lurking, one strict instruction. Do NOT pray to your God on my behalf! Oh and

You can state an opinion but there's no need to make it personal. Please refrain from this.

okarol/admin

[cariad]

Galvo, I was too angry and wrung out last night to post properly on this, but I found myself feeling exactly the same way as you. And since we joined around the same time, I can vouch for the fact that you have a fuse that is miles long. (Not so, me!)

lmunchkin, if you are still reading, and I strongly suspect that you are, Rachel was stating an opinion that I have read in various forms on this site since the first day I started reading IHD. If you cannot handle reading that some or even many Christians are hypocrites, then you would not last long here anyway, and it would hardly be Rachel's fault. For flips sake, Rachel is here trying to recover from a transplant that she had only a few weeks ago (maybe less?) and you tear into her for stating one of the least controversial opinions I've ever read. As another former pediatric renal patient, and also a recent retransplantee, life has ripped her off enough without you piling on. You really had to work to find the insult in what Rachel wrote. I have had two live donors in my life, one I have known my entire life. This does not relieve me of my right to have an opinion and feelings about donation and family members who do not even offer to get tested. Some might argue that only those of us who have been through it really know what we are saying on this topic....

Rachel, my dear, you are far too nice! I am sorry it took me this long to show my support - Aid's baseball game last night and Gwyn and I had to work concessions (each parent is expected to do this twice a season). I don't think you had a single thing to apologise over, but how very Christian of you to do so anyway.

[Brightsky69]

Wow….

Ya know…..this kidney disease business is very stressful. It doesn’t matter if you’re the one with the disease or the caretaker of a loved one with kidney disease. It’s just sucks having to go through it all. Even when you get a transplant…..it’s still nerve-racking. People express trauma in different ways. Take me for example….I’ll start crying if it gets to be too much for me….or I lash out at whoever happens to be around. 
I remember the last time I was in the hospital and the poor nurse had to stick me twice to get an IV in properly. The second time she stuck me I started crying like I lost my best friend. She looked at me like WTF! I never cry over needles. It was all just overwhelming at that moment. I was telling my therapist about that and she said “I am surprised all you did was cry. You’ve been thru so much…you deserve a good cry.”
Rachel, you have every right to be pissed off and mad at your family if you want to. And I think you can get made at God if you want to….he can take. 

[gothiclovemonkey]

cant we just get along? this is stressful, its crazy, its hard. No matter what ur religion, no matter where ur from, kidney failure sucks! We have our ups, our downs, our crappy relatives, our wonderful friends.... or lack there of!  We all go through the same crap, some worse than others, some amazing and hopeful....
The point is, WE ARE HERE. Your God, my God, whoever u believe... whatever u believe, we are still here! We are alive by His(her or its) grace alone! Dialysis, transplants, it doesnt matter! GET ALONG! We are all in the same damn boat! We are here because we all have common ground!
Be THANKFUL for the breath u just took,the sites u saw today, and the friends u met here.
I love this site, and i DO UNDERSTAND being down, this shit sucks! BUT for once people... JUST STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES! WE ARENT DEAD YET! F***K anyone who doesnt understand what we go thru, we have each other!
and please remember.......
COEXIST!

Thank u have a lovely day.

[Des]

Just my 5c 

I have made a lot of true friends on here that are not Christians at all. I love them regardless and I will never ever judge anyone.

IMunchkin   - I am a Christian and many have noticed that. You are not the only one on here. 

I hope you come back and post.

[jbeany]

Also when it comes to religion I have to admit I am sick of people being christians but never really stepping up in a christ like away. Yes go to church and say your prayers but God teaches us about giving your life to a friend...most people are not putting their money where their mouths are.

One of my church going friends said she has the worst problem dealing with what she calls "Superhero Christians."  They don't live it every day, they just pull it on like a costume when they are out in public.  The flashy cape doesn't do much to distract from the fact that they really aren't the genuine, loving people they claim to be.  I have the same problem - it's not about the religion, it's about the hypocrisy.

[jeannea]

While I consider myself a Christian, I still go through all the emotions of anger and frustration and everything that goes with dialysis. And I think that whether you are Christian or not, you will meet lots of good people and lots of bad people, some of whom will claim to be Christian. It can be so very hurtful when the people you care about don't seem to care about you. But you always have your own feelings and perceptions and I'm glad we can come here to talk to our IHD friends to let out that hurt. Sometimes just being able to say it - or type it - can make all the difference. I hope that your friends here help take away some of the hurt. I know it helps me.

[willowtreewren]

Just my 5c 

I have made a lot of true friends on here that are not Christians at all. I love them regardless and I will never ever judge anyone.

IMunchkin   - I am a Christian and many have noticed that. You are not the only one on here. 

I hope you come back and post.

And this is exactly why we love you, too! 

Aleta

[rsudock]

Love to you all! Lee and I have discussed and resolved this issue so everything is GREAT!! That's what true friends do; they talk things out and try to understand each other's viewpoint.
 
xo,
R

[MooseMom]

Love to you all! Lee and I have discussed and resolved this issue so everything is GREAT!! That's what true friends do; they talk things out and try to understand each other's viewpoint.
 
xo,
R

So true!  Glad to hear all is well.  We need to support each other through thick and thin, always remembering that our lives are filled withtremendoud stress.  We should always try to be gentle with one another.

[YLGuy]

I gotta stop reading these threads in the middle of the night. I read

withtremendoud stress

and thought that I am not familiar with withtremendoud stress.  It is a type of stress I did not recognize.  Yes, after reading it again I figured it out.
 

[MooseMom]

I gotta stop reading these threads in the middle of the night. I read

withtremendoud stress

and thought that I am not familiar with withtremendoud stress.  It is a type of stress I did not recognize.  Yes, after reading it again I figured it out.
 

I am typing on my nook color, and I have not quite mastered it yet.

"Withtremendoud stress" was what I felt after my latest neph appt...

[Hemodoc]

Well Rachael, Im sorry you feel that way.  Iam a Christian, and a little news flash for you, we are like you, NOT PERFECT!  And I do my darndest to help anyone I can with a husband who is dying from this dreadful disease!  You at least were blessed by someone to get your transplant but yet you want to judge everybody for not Donating to you! 

If you don't want the prayers of Christian people who will not donate or give their life for you, then so be it.  You and I are after all Mortal.  We are all going to die someday.  If you wish me to fly and die for you, then it's not like I have anything to be responsible for here, just say the word!

I seem to be the only Christian on this site, cause I don't see anyone expressing anything about it.  So I will wait your response and never post here again!

I do my best to uplift people on this site, but yea there are very ungreatful people who condemn the healthy for everything. Parents not donating kidney to a child as being uncabable of love! How awful that a family member asked prayers instead of giving a kidney to safe the life!  Then put Christians down because they don't act or do anything for ME!

God Forgive Me, but I have tried, but I want nothing more to do with these people!  You were blessed by the kidney of a stranger, and you act this way towards strangers? 


lmunchkin       

P.S.  I want all to know at IHD.  I can take personal critasizims about my personal life, but I can't take it when someone disrespects my Lord, and his people who have choosen to follow him.  It is not easy living a Christian life and for those of you with this Disease, you would think that most would embrace it.  Never say I never tried!

You are not alone on IHD.  God bless and never stop being God's witness.

In the name of our loving Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Most sincerely,

Peter