Bit of a fake

[Robert]

Hi, I'm Robert.

I'm not on dialysis yet, but I just know I'm going to hate it.

I'm feeling pretty rough at the moment so I'll pop back and do a proper intro when I feel a bit better.

[Epoman]

Hi, I'm Robert.

I'm not on dialysis yet, but I just know I'm going to hate it.

I'm feeling pretty rough at the moment so I'll pop back and do a proper intro when I feel a bit better.

Hi Robert,

Welcome to the site. YES you are going to hate it and anyone who tells you any different is full of shit. Come here for the truth and to meet others that are in the same situation as you. I hope you enjoy your stay. And good luck in the upcoming months your going to need it, but we will be here for you.

Epo

[Marina]

  I  know  you  guys  are  going to  hate  this  post.     I  know  you all hate  dialysis  and  and  come  here  to  complain  and  vent  or  rant.
   I  have  to  say  that  I  don't  love dialysis,  however  it's  not  so  bad.  I  knew  I  would  eventually  be  on  dialysis,  so  I  accepted  it  and  decided  to  make  peace  with  the  idea.  Dialysis  is  my life  line,  what  keeps  me  alive,  I  can't  hate  something  that  is  giving  me  life.            Sure,  many  of  you  will say    i'm  so  optomistic  about  it  because  I  haven't  had  any  complications  due  to  dialysis.   that  is  true,  but  I  also  believe  that  attitude  is  everything.      SUre,  I  many times  wish I  could  just  take  off  at  the  drop of a hat  and  not  worry  about  packing  my supplies,  but  the  fact  is  that  I  do  have  a choice.  I  can  take  off  at  the  drop of a hat  and  not  worry  about  my supplies  or  my  exchanges  and  pay  the  consequenses.    The  only  thing  that  I  hate  about  it  is  the  fact  that  I  can't  eat  as  much  cheese  as  I'd  like.          So  Robert  be   optimistic  and  positive  and  your  experience  won't  be  as  bad  as  you  think.                I  thought  the  worst  before  dialysis  and  once  I  started  dialysing  I  realized  that  I  had  worried  for  nothing,  it's  been  a pretty  easy  ride.
                        God  Bless!
                                     Marina   

[Epoman]

  I  know  you  guys  are  going to  hate  this  post.     I  know  you all hate  dialysis  and  and  come  here  to  complain  and  vent  or  rant.
   I  have  to  say  that  I  don't  love dialysis,  however  it's  not  so  bad.  I  knew  I  would  eventually  be  on  dialysis,  so  I  accepted  it  and  decided  to  make  peace  with  the  idea.  Dialysis  is  my life  line,  what  keeps  me  alive,  I  can't  hate  something  that  is  giving  me  life.            Sure,  many  of  you  will say    i'm  so  optomistic  about  it  because  I  haven't  had  any  complications  due  to  dialysis.   that  is  true,  but  I  also  believe  that  attitude  is  everything.      SUre,  I  many times  wish I  could  just  take  off  at  the  drop of a hat  and  not  worry  about  packing  my supplies,  but  the  fact  is  that  I  do  have  a choice.  I  can  take  off  at  the  drop of a hat  and  not  worry  about  my supplies  or  my  exchanges  and  pay  the  consequenses.    The  only  thing  that  I  hate  about  it  is  the  fact  that  I  can't  eat  as  much  cheese  as  I'd  like.          So  Robert  be   optimistic  and  positive  and  your  experience  won't  be  as  bad  as  you  think.                I  thought  the  worst  before  dialysis  and  once  I  started  dialysing  I  realized  that  I  had  worried  for  nothing,  it's  been  a pretty  easy  ride.
                        God  Bless!
                                     Marina   

Marina,

Don't take this the wrong way but you do not get stick with 6 needles a week nor do you go through cramps and dealing with fluid overload or any of the other many complications of hemo. Plus as you mentioned you can pack your supplies, people on hemo do not have that luxury. I too have made peace with my condition and I too have accepted it however I honestly hate dialysis and maybe when you have been on dialysis for as long as I have been or others on this site. Then your outlook WILL change believe me. I do not mean to offend you nor persuade you to have a negative outlook but once you are a veteran in this battle you will change your attitude. Again I will say I accept my fate and I know I have a choice not to continue dialysis and just die however that would be unfair to my son ( age 8 ) who needs his father.

You said "I can't hate something that is giving me life." Well you are correct dialysis is keeping me alive however it has also caused me to have the following:

Severe Osteoporosis (In wheelchair because of it).
2 Broken Hips.
High Blood Pressure.
Enlarged Heart.
Calcium Deposits in my Joints.
My Teeth are ruined (Calcium pulled from teeth due to hyperthyroidism).
Left Vocal cord cut due to surgery complication to remove parathyroids.

So as you can see Marina all those things listed above are complications of dialysis/kidney failure. So forgive me but your statement "I can't hate something that is giving me life." sickens me, you see because yes dialysis is giving me life but at what cost.

I am not attacking you, I am just venting which is what this site is for. I welcome you and all your posts to this site, I am glad you are a member. But dialysis/kidney failure really is bad and in the long run it destroys everyone, it destroys us not only physically but mentally.

[Robert]

Thank you for your welcomes 

I can see what you mean Marina and I take your point Epoman.

I just seem to be waiing for the next thing to go wrong with my body all the time, I've had a heart attack brought on by a change in drugs, surgery on my hand because of gout, I'm off for an MRI scan on my knee next week to see if its the same problem I had with my hand, I feel like crap all the time, I can't work because of tiredness.

It all jsut seems so overwhelming sometimes and I haven't even started on the heavy stuff yet.

[LifeOnHold]

I don't think you can magically go from having a somewhat negative outlook to having a totally positive outlook overnight... just deal with things the way you normally would.  Trying to change your behavior because of what people think you 'should' be feeling will just stress you out even more.  As you get more experiences behind you, you'll gain more confidence that you can live long-term on whatever modality you decide is right for you.