Such a Jerk

[JennyGiggle]

Ok.  I went out with a couple of friends, we went to the pub ( I was good - despite temptation). I was really enjoying my night until a drunken idiot I used to go to school with turned up. He had heard about me getting ill. He was talking to me normally at first, so I assumed he had matured and was being nice. He asked me why I wasn't drinking so I did my best to explain. Still, he seemed to be quite down-to earth about it, and I eased up a bit more. By this time him and some other of his mates had come to sit next to me. We got onto the subject of dating. I was seeing a guy up until I got ill, he broke up with me soon after, which im not bothered about, we weren't serious at the time anways. I decided to have a rant anyway.  The guy turned round and said at the end of my light-hearted rant.

"Well I can see the guys point. No offence, but your no great catch anyway, sounds like your living a pretty crap life-style, your disabled. And what your gonna kick the bucket in a few years anyway so your no investment either."

He said it jokingly but it reaaaallly cut deep! All his friends laughed

On the plus side my friend Gemma and her boyfriend Ali got really defensive. Ali was ready to punch the guys lights out. The bar manager, who was my childhood best friend banned the lot from the pub for trouble making.

I know none of what he said was true, and most people won't think like that, but it has really upset me. I'm not usually a violent person, but I could have swung at the guy. 

Anyways, I have decided that I am not gonna let this destroy the confidence I have slowly been building. In fact I have decided to act apon it. There is a kinda charity blind date thing at uni for Valentines Day, all money raised goes to Haiti. They are looking for people to volunteer. I am putting me name down on monday!

Jenny

[willowtreewren]

You go, girl!

Don't let the insensitivity of others get you!

Just give 'em the 

 

Aleta

[cariad]

I love the irony in a boorish loudmouth telling someone else that she's not a great catch.

Jerk isn't quite the word I would have used, but it will have to do. I can see how it would get to you, but am so impressed at how you are shrugging it off. Signing up for blind dates? Rock on, my friend.

Oh, and has anyone pointed you to the "Ignorant things people have said to me" thread? It's a must-read, and this guy's comments would make a perfect addition.

[Sluff]

Some people never grow up.

[paris]

Jenny, I like your spirit!   Your attitude is marvelous.  There will always be jerks.  Try to ignore them.   Let us know how the Valentine's Day event goes      Good for you for volunteering!  I bet you will meet lots of great people there.   

[pamster42000]

What a cruel insensitive thing to say even if he was drunk. His friends are no better. What is so funny about a person having a health problem? I feel sad that you had to listen to his verbal nonesense. Life is what you make of it and I am glad you have decided to do a positive thing to counteract this bad experience. Enjoy life and remember the people who care for you...they are your best alias!!

[caringpct]

I'm glad to see you being an adult about everything. Some people just don't understand. Hope you have fun on your blind date!!
Btw did you try talking to the staff at you unit? Have they started to open up with you?

[JennyGiggle]

I haven't seen that thread cariad but I will have to go take a look.

caringpct: I was on the verge of acting completely childish sissyhitting the guy lol. I think the blind date show will be a lot of fun. I don't know if you ever saw the UK program Blind Date, my(male) friend is dressing up as the hostess Cilla Black hehe. Never know, might just find my dream guy. I have tried opening up a whole lot more with everyone the last few days. I think some people are a bit shocked but it seems to be working

[galvo]

There are plenty of jerks about, Jenny. You showed great restraint in not clocking him.

[boswife]

whew!!  i tell ya, im sure glad you could (sorta at least) see through the remark and see clearly the jerk!  oh my!  how very ignorant can one be,,,,,,,,,bet he felt pretty stupid later if someone told him what he said.  Let that one fly right over your head..  sorry though ya had to deal with it... phooie! 

[Malibu]

Men.

[Jean]

You done good Jenny, not letting that a##hole get to you. You just go to your Valentine thingy and have a good time.

[Hanify]

I really think people like that are not only uneducated and ill informed, ut are actually a bit thick.  Obviously your first impressions of hom from a while nback were correct.  Have fun at the blind date thing.

[lou]

What an idiot. Try not to let other peoples stupid comments get to you Jenny. Sounds like you have got a good attitude though and some good freinds around you and thats what important. Can I ask where are you from? Saw your comment about Cilla Black - I used to love watching that when I was a kid! I am in the UK.

Sending a big hug

Lou x x x

[KICKSTART]

You should have told him he wasnt all that either and as for living long ..did he have a death wish ? 

[JennyGiggle]

Lou - im up in scotland. I used to love watching it too.

Thanks guys for all the support!

[del]

Give him several smacks with the  and tell him to kiss your  !!  He is the biggest loser!!  Have fun on the blind date!!!  I so don't like people who shoot their mouths off when they don't know what they are talking about!!

[lou]

Hey Jenny, Im in Exeter in Devon - so guess we are still pretty far away!! Whereabouts in Scotland?

[JennyGiggle]

I stay ina tiny town in midlothian, outside edinburgh. I study in edinburgh.

[Ladystardust24]

As I said in my dating post,
(no offense to you guys)

Men can be scum. I must say, My illness isn't the only source of men being immature and just plainly.. idiotic. Especially guys at 20, they seem to think they are desired by all women and because of this, we should be totally in awe when they flirt with us and we should be ready to strip at moments notice for him. yeahhh riightt. I've had guys say stuff, but I'm usually quick to say something back. I had a guy say "i really like you, you are awesome, but I just feel like a pedophile, you just look too young for me. sorry, but we can be friends right?"

all i said was. "I'd be less worried about people thinking your a pedophile and more worried about them knowing your an idiot."

Eh, so even though illness is just one more reason to give guys a reason be idiots, it's not the only, so rest assured even the healthiest of women get stupid comments from guys. It's not you, It's them. As long as you know your better thats all that matters, and you should know that. 

Meanwhile, here is a happy dancing banana to make you show off the gorgeous smile!

[dwcrawford]

OMG, and once upon a time men were the good guys and females were evil.  Time really changes society doesn't it?   

 

[fc2821]

    Jenny  for showing great restain and the posive attitude.  What a jerk. What makes him believe you won't be around all that long?  I've had to call the cornor for many a drunken sot, who though he was invinciable.  He doesn't really know you, if he did he'd know you are great person and a real catch.  Some day someone who appeciates you will come along and be so glad he met you.  I speak from personal experience. It happened to me twice, long before kidney failure was in my future.  I was on the other side of things then, and I was the and am the luckiest man alive for having two great wives. The first had health problems, but I treasure every minutes I had with her. She improved my life and you will someone else's. 

      Regarding the Valentine thing,

[twirl]

that jerk isn't a good catch either
imagine if his wife got sick or she gave birth to a disabled child

[nycrtst85]

Some people don't have compassion but his words will catch up to him.Just pray for him to find God and forgive him.

[RichardMEL]

What a wanker !

I wouldn't have even bothered trying to explain the fluid restriction stuff to someone like that. It just gives them amunition to back up their uninformed opinions. I would have just said polite nothings till they pissed off. You don't HAVE to go to a pub and drink till you're blotto. It's your choice if you want to drink or not, and the reasons behind it are irrelevant(though I am sure YOU wanted a few brews!!).

I think in response to his rude response I would have said something like "Well I'm glad you think that's the case because it just confirms what I thought - you're even less of a catch because even in my condition I wouldn't want to go out with you!"

Sounds like you had a good attitude to it.. you know the truth so try to not let it get you down.