ILOVEDIALYSIS?

[del]

      Ladystardust24, well stated.  I       you  for your attitude.   
       

 

I applaud you too.  Your attitude is similar to my husband's!!   

[Hanify]

AND I think it's really unfair to state that if people didn't want to go to work if they weren't paid for it that it some how that refects on whether they care for their patients!  I love my job, I care for the children I teach, but I wouldn't be there if I wasn't being paid.  But back to the topic, to me, I am in this situation wehter I like it or not.  I can be grumpy and see the worst in everything if I like - but it aint gonna help me none.  So, I might as well be as happy as I can.  And I believe I can make that happen by having a positive outlook.

[petey]

I'm like Hanify -- I absolutely love my job (teaching).  I care deeply for my students and try very hard to move them along in this life.  I worry about them, and not just when they don't perform as well in school as I know they can.  I have students I taught 22 years ago who still stay in touch with me after all these years.  We (the students and I) have formed bonds with each other that have lasted long after they left my classroom.  However, if I my paycheck were to be cut off tomorrow, I would not go back to school.  I would have to find another way to support my family because then the choice would be love of my job or taking care of my family, and my family definitely comes first.  I would assume that dialysis nurses would have to support their families, too, and would have to find a way to do that if they were not being paid to be dialysis nurses.  Now, if I won the lottery ... well, that's a different story.  I would probably still get up in the morning and go to school....

BTW -- Marvin's dialysis nurse would still show up even without a paycheck!  I've been his home hemo nurse for three years and I haven't seen a check yet!!       

But, I'll get back on topic so I won't be criticized.  Marvin and I don't hate dialysis -- even after 15 years and almost 2,200 treatments.  How could we hate something that has kept him alive for all these years?  No, he doesn't love the actual treatments themselves, but he does love what they do for him (aside from keeping him alive, they make him feel better).  We are thankful for the opportunity to have dialysis in our life because without it, Marvin wouldn't have a life at all.  We have always seen it as a positive thing, always accepted it as a part of our "fate," and always tried to remember that while it is not always easy or pleasant, it does have wonderful results.  Being a dialysis patient is a part of Marvin's identity (it doesn't define him and who he is, but it is a part of him); therefore, to hate it would be to hate a part of Marvin.  Not going to happen here.

[Rerun]

OK you guys win.  I'm going to go write "I hate dialysis" on a piece of paper and put a match to it.  All my feelings will go up in smoke and I'll be positive.

                                   

It makes me smile  the people who comment... who are NOT on dialysis.  See.... happy happy happy!

I'm pretty sure the reason people go to therapists is due to suppressed feelings.

I've been doing this a long time too, and my feelings have been hurt more than once when I was in trouble and it was a weekend or at night and my doctor who I thought loved me and cared about me didn't even check on me for days.  It is a reality check or get real.  It is how you read it.  It is what you make of it.


I doubt anyone thinks the employees at Taco Time Love them.  Children in a school aren't on life support.

Keep positive and you probably will do better in life and then end up in theroapy.  No, (JK) I hope you do well.


                       

[willowtreewren]

It makes me smile  the people who comment... who are NOT on dialysis.  See.... happy happy happy!

In my situation it is my husband (on dialysis) who is MUCH more positive about it than I am.

My attitude: dialysis takes away 4-5 hours of his time every day.

His attitude: dialysis gives him 20 hours of time every day that he would not otherwise have.

I work hard to adopt an attitude more like his. 

[hurlock1]

Hurlock, We do not know what Rerun and others are going through.  I think it is just as wrong for us to criticize them as for them to criticized us for thinking thinking positive.  We should be encouraging them instead of of talking like this.  I know.  I've been quite guilty in the past.  But we have to let each person have and express their own feelings.  Tell how you feel and deal with it.  It is kind of like religion (heaven forbid I should meantion that) in that living it is far more powerful than preaching it.  And if the truth be told, I suspect that at any given moment in time our own perspectives my different from + to -.  I need to think more about that....

God, I am turning into a Pollyanna...  Help me!  Lil

But truthfully, Rerun, if Jack in the Box goes broke, who will show up to make us tacos?

No intent to offend anyone.  I mainly think out loud when I post in here.

I don't think that I was criticizing any one. Rerun is the one with the sharp tongue. I was just pointing out that being angry or sad about something any of us can't do anything about, is pointless. I don't really like the process of dialysis. I do 4.5 hr. When about 3.5 rolls around, I'm ready to go to the extreme, just like anybody else. To say that the care givers really like us is and over statement. I know that they really seem to like us, but we are their job.  I'm sure that it takes a special person to do that kind of job.
There was a guy that was in our unit (he left and went to another unit) that was really unpleasant. He was loud and was always angry about something. They drew him down to low, he itched uncontrollably, all kinds of things. Every day it was something. He disrupted an otherwise peaceful environment. He would threaten violence to the caregivers; man, woman, anyone. He blamed the caregivers for his condition. But the caregivers were always polite and caring, even in the face of a raving maniac. It must have taken a mountain of patience.
I'm sure that they're given courses in how to be polite, even nice. Every day, all of the caregivers stop to talk to me. I'm not too good looking, I weigh 300 lb. and I'm a dialysis patient.

[tyefly]

Well hurlock    if you lost some wieght you might be able to cut down on the dialysis time...... something to think about....  we still have lots of choices...... but we cant control everything...... People are going to be who they are and act the way they want no matter what......   Dialysis doesnt have to be the only place that they will behave that way.....  I hate stop lights and having to wait for them....... I hate waiting in lines at the store.......  but I have learned that I can not do anything about those situations..... if I want to go places and buy stuff at the store....   then I just have to deal with it......  I hate training for nxstage and the  fact that I am spending 5 to hrs to train every day  just so I can go home....where as I was only doing 3 hours three times a week........ but I want to be free of in center so I will put up with the training time...... I guess we do what we need to and sometimes what we want to do.......itsall about needs and wants......      I put up with the needs and look forward to the wants........

[dwcrawford]

Truthfully when I read this thread from the first to the last post, I am feeling neither Love nor Hatred but rather Sadness.  This is a subject of not right or wrong but rather what is going on at any given time in one’s life.  I cannot say that I love dialysis other than to make a point for something.  I cannot say that I hate dialysis either.  Dialysis is merely a tool, an option if you will, for those with kidney disease.  Yes, it is a very complex tool.  I can say I am thankful for the option to use it or not or the option to seek out other avenues or not.  I can also say that at this very moment in time, I am OK with the option I choose.  I can say nothing about tomorrow.  Even yesterday I may have been a bit wishy  washy about what I’m doing.

I can say though, that I am sad this morning as I read these posts.  You know, I have to understand Rerun’s point of view.  In her post are many things to think about.  First, and most trivial, is I too despise those little flowers and other Happy Happy Happy Messages unless they come from a particularly good experience the writer is having at the moment.  I am right now looking at the little flower opening and shutting and smiling.  It makes me want to puke.  I am also looking at Rerun (not our moderator but Peanut’s Rerun) and it is making me smile a little.  Humm, sadness has many emotions I guess.  I recognize the need for the rofl, etc.  I do forget to use them.  I recognize the need for the Beers from my special friend – though he has a lot to say and often I wish he’d say something else.  Lol But I’ll take a nice root beer float when offered.

Please understand that references to Taco Bell and Schools are merely to make a point.  No one is or was comparing tacos to dialysis.  However; the technicians at my center would not be able to exist on their salaries alone.  They are drastically underpaid therefore they must either be dedicated or desperate.  They actually beg at times to stay overtime or work and extra shit.  Who in their right mind other than the desperate or dedicated would want to deal with all that blood and other things I don’t want to think about this early in the morning?

I’m a little (haha) older than Rerun therefore I most probably have had more therapy.  No one loved me.  They didn’t even help me resolve issues but rather gave me the tools to use in resolving my own issues.  I have a lot to say about the therapist who got me here, but I’ll save that for later (I hear a gasp of relief).  I am thankful I at least to have some happy days and/or hours.  Is it fake?  Maybe!  Does it make me feel better temporally?  Absolutely!  Speaking of being a little older than  Rerun, at 69 going on 70 there are many who think Medicare and dialysis is being wasted on me.  May I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE!  (lol, kind of).

This paragraph is to Rerun only and a personal plea to her.  Are you still writing?  When I first joined this site you had posted lots of really humorous and well written little snippets or essays.  I miss them.  Have you any new ones you can post?  Do you have any plans to start up again?  I actually printed some and took them to my center where people would lol out loud (my favorite line from Monk) about them.  Please do some more or post some you’ve already done.  They are greatly missed.  I hate (don’t like) seeing talents like that wasted.

To Hurlock:  I'm not picking a fight with you either.  It is just that I'm learning to see more than one side to any disagreement.  I do think (know) staff is taught how to act to different  situations.  I also think they react to the treatment they received from us.  Your point is well taken.

To all here:  My point is, to the extent possible, we must get hatred out of our systems.   I too dislike stop lights and long lines.  But hey,  stop lights can stop disaster too.  (I know because Schroder is just getting over serious body damage (Schroder is my car). 

[Zach]

To all here:  My point is, to the extent possible, we must get hatred out of our systems.   I too dislike stop lights and long lines.  But hey,  stop lights can stop disaster too.  (I don't because Schroder is just getting over serious body damage (Schroder is my car).

 

[Rerun]

Hurlock, Tye and DW.... you are all finally making sense.  I too hate red lights but I know I have to put up with them, but when it turns green and someone behind me honks..... that is when I put it in park and go back and start hitting their car with my fists.  I am pleasent at dialysis but when they forget to turn ON my uf and I'm 2 kilos over that is when I stand up for myself and shit hits the fan.  I'm over the point of thinking all nice and maybe they are too busy and underpaid to do their jobs..... especially when I've heard about their big drunk last night.

I will try and be more positive.  This site is my dumping ground so I can be positive in my real life.  People who know me say what a good attitude I have.   They don't know about my dark secret of IHD.

I should not have ruined this post by even typing it it.  I'll try and just spew on other posts about dialysis.


   

[dwcrawford]

Come on Rerun.  Don't say that.  I know this bothers you that we like you.  We'll try our best to bash Rerun more so she can dump  more.  But I could tell from your writings that you had a good personality (not postings).  So let's RUMBLE....and thing except Religion..... This may be religion but I'll start:  Obama is the 2nd coming of Christ!

[Rerun]

LOL  (out loud)

[tyefly]

Hey   wait a minutie......     being negative is postive........ being mad at certain things is positive.....   it takes all these emotions to make to world go around.......   we Dont want to be happy all the time.......and who wants to fake life......there has been many great changes in my life and in the life of others when dealing with our negative thoughts.......  So  get mad   deal with it  and  be sure to move on and get living life. 

[dwcrawford]

Oh, tyeflyl, go play with your frogs and the ....

[Rerun]

Hey   wait a minutie......     being negative is postive........ being mad at certain things is positive.....   it takes all these emotions to make to world go around.......   we Dont want to be happy all the time.......and who wants to fake life......there has been many great changes in my life and in the life of others when dealing with our negative thoughts.......  So  get mad   deal with it  and  be sure to move on and get living life.

               (wait, are you just teasing me)   

[tyefly]

Dan   I dont have a donkey like you......

[dwcrawford]

I can honestly say I love my donkey.  Can you say the same for your frogs?

[tyefly]

aaaah     The true love of the beast.............  could be a book     could be a new topic..........

[plugger]

I try to do whatever I can to make it less "work" I call it my "Spa time" and my own time.

I wish my daughter would have had that attitude when she was in the clinic.  I remember trying to push her to get more time on the machine because I knew it would be better for her - I about got my head bit off!  I didn't know what it was like to sit there, mind my own business, blah-blah, yada-yada.

Sorry, guess I could only see it from a parent's perspective.  I just remember her looking like a zombie when she was going through it.  I felt like a lot of it was because she wasn't getting enough treatment.  Some of it might have been because she was a skinny kid.  I remember reading somewhere it actually helps to have a little weight if a person is on dialysis.

Anyway, I remember us being two extremes - her not wanting to talk about it, me not wanting to shut up!  It did all work out, she didn't disown me like she threatened to - and I learned to calm down a bit.

[dwcrawford]

So did we exhaust this topic?  Thanks Ladystardust and Rerun for giving us such different perspectives.  I did learn a lot from each of you and all the others who posted.  To me, that is what its all about anyway.  Learning!

Excellent view point, Plugger.  Another invaluable lesson.

[plugger]

I will say: Dan, you do find some of the finest avatars.

[dwcrawford]

Thanks Plugger, but I can't take all the credit.  Most come from other IHD members.  It has become fun for us all and regardless of how I feel about dialysis, I still LOVE fun.  So if you find any donkeys in compromising or interesting situations, please send.

[petey]

Perhaps because I'm NOT the one on dialysis in my house I have no right to say how I feel about it...but, like Aleta, my husband (who IS on dialysis and has been for years and years) has a much more positive attitude about it than I do.  Kind of makes you sick, huh, Rerun?

[fc2821]

Hey   wait a minutie......     being negative is postive........ being mad at certain things is positive.....   it takes all these emotions to make to world go around.......   we Dont want to be happy all the time.......and who wants to fake life......there has been many great changes in my life and in the life of others when dealing with our negative thoughts.......  So  get mad   deal with it  and  be sure to move on and get living life. 

   This is so true. You can't be positive all the time, it just isn't "normal". But you can't let things weigh you down where you can't function.  I prefer to look for the best in situations.  The old "it could have bee worse"thought.  Dust myself off, get up, and deal with it.  Sounds like Rerun does that, deals with it. Don't think she grumbling all the time. She looks at things and sees how they are.  You have to do this to take care of things. Rerun, I like you. Deal with it 

   All the views here have valid points. Theyare relivant to the poster's experiences and how they deal with the fustrations dialysis presents.  Plesse don't think less of someone if things are different fromteir view point. We don't always know what other factors invade their lives and help forumlate their view points.  There are so many factors to consider. The staff at one facility you may attend may not care for their jobs and patients the same as they do at another.  Same for the medical professionals you see. They too have "off" days.  The care givers, friends, and family of a patient may vary on how they deal with dialysis.  Then the patient may have alliments and physical problems other than dialysis which fustrate them at times.  God knows, I wish I could walk and stand without support. One time my wife asked me "If ypu had to coose. Would you rather have two ankles, or two kidneys?"  I immediately said ankles.  I could do day to day things beter. But,  I'm never going to get 'em. I just have to deal with it. It could be worse and I'm glad it isn't.

     I know  this isn't the right thread, and I don't want to start something by this.  But the reason I know there is a God is because God gave me both my wifes when I needed someone the most. My first wife taught me to appeciate life, it is short but you can help other people get through it.  I was at a low point after my first wife died. I had forgotten things I learned from her. Grief does that some times.  I would have made you all angry if I had been here.  I was so negative. Life was unfair, and their was no point to anything.  I didn't care if I lived or died except to be there for my mother as long as she lived.  After that, who cared. But< I was given a new life. Someone who cared for me, to help after I needed it.  Someone who made me realise that the world is not a dark, hororable place where you exist till you die.  Now, I have a new life, grand kids (something I never even thought I'd see) .  It's not perfect, but nothing is and I am greatful to be here to enjpy it. 
     The point is, it's your life andit is what you make of it. Others can help.  But you have to make it better.
   
   
   

   

[plugger]

So if you find any donkeys in compromising or interesting situations, please send.

Always on the outlook for that sort of thing!      This has been a great thread for bringing out some of my bitter and sweet memories - like to cut back on that bitter, but I tell myself it is character-building.