It COULD get worse

[dwcrawford]

It definitely could get worse.  I am not hungry.  I am not cold.

Can It Get Any Better? Of course it could!  And now that I'm  not hungry nor cold I can use  what energies I have to concentrate on ways to make it  better and,  of course, keeping it from getting even worse.

Very, very, merry Christmas time to all.

[willowtreewren]

We have a great book at school called... It could always be Worse.

It's about a man who goes to his Rabbi complaining about how bad things are. The Rabbi advises the man to bring his mother-in-law to live with them, then as the complaining continues, he tell the man to bring the chickens inside, then the goats and ducks and cows.

Finally the man can't take it any more and the Rabbi tell the man to put all the animals outside and send the MIL home. Then the man basks in how lovely his life is.

One of the things that being part of this IHD family has helped me realize is that it could be worse - much, much worse. Sometimes it is hard to find those things in our situations for which to be thankful. But, oh, that is so important for our own peace of mind. 

Thanks, Dan, for reminding us. Wise words.   

To all of my IHD friends who may have it worse than I do... 

For those who think that my situation is worse than yours, I'm glad that I can offer a comparison that helps you feel better.   

And a bit of whimsy from Monty Python....

Always look on the bright side of life, ta da.. ta da dee da dee da!

Aleta

[dwcrawford]

And once again the lovely Aleta can say it far better than I ever could.  Thanks Aleta... I (we) needed that.  Wonder if it would be too much to ask people if, in the thread, they could tell how they have positively dealt with seemingly impossible situations. 

[paris]

Good thread     I just look around and know it could be so much worse. I have always had a roof over my head, food to eat, and people who love me.   When I see children facing huge obsticles and they are so full of hope and joy, how can I complain?  And, having lost so many in my life, I understand that life goes on.  I am a small part of this whole plan called life, and realizing that makes me deal with all trials with a "I can do it" attitude.  Nothing is too much if you take it one baby step at a time.  (until I get too tired to take the next step  ).  Attitude, maybe that is it in one word.  Don't ever tell me I can't do something; it just makes me want to do it more!  I face kidney disease with that attitude.   I am rambling----sorry, guess I feel very "wordy" today!

[Maker]

Whenever people starty pitying me, I always say "it could be worse!"

My aunt was just diagnosed with breast cancer.  Its not as easy as going on dialysis for her.  She will undergo chemo & radiation and that still may not work.

I volunteer at our city's homeless shelter.  Every time I go in there I am reminded how very fortunate I am!  I have a job, a home, food to eat, heat! 

When I see handicapped people I am always so thankful for my functioning body, that allows me to walk and run and do most things I want to in spite of CKD. 

I guess what really gets me through this (seemingly impossible) situation of having CKD for the rest of my life is remembering that God gave me this for a reason.  What satan means to use to destroy my life, God means for good 

[thegrammalady]

as some of you know i have a developmentally disabled child. (he is now 25) when kevin would have a seizure in public, the looks on peoples faces would be, well it's indescribable. however i knew it could be worse. as an example the woman i knew who's child's shortest seizure lasted 25 minutes. and that was because 25 minutes was how long it took to get him to the er to have it stopped medically. yes it could alway be worse.

[dwcrawford]

I debated myself as to whether this would be an appropriate post or not.  Already, I've been inspired by your comments.  The inspiration for the thread was a young man named Tubes who, from the beginning, posted such positive, funny and inspiring words.  And when in a "self esteem" post he stated some of his insecurities it really made me think.  Sometimes I feel like crap for feeling sorry for myself.

I do have self esteem issues so heavy that I'd never discuss them on line.  Enough people on here dislike me as it is.  Sometimes I think, just get over yourself, and sometimes I do--- for some time. 

Then there are the normal issues that many people deal with.
I don't have family to spend Christmas with so I rely on friends.  And then I think I know people with families whose tradition it is to get drunk, fight and even worse.  Friends just basically support and love each other.
I've had one tragic Christmas that resulted,  six months later, in the premature death of my favorite sister.  But then again, that makes 68 good Christmases I've had.
I have this kidney disease that requires dialysis 3 times a weeks.  But then I do like my dialysis center, doctors, nurses, etc. and my diet is restricted very little.  Plus I drive myself, walk where I want and run if I want (not usually).
Life is pretty good for such an old man.  Now if only I had a pill to turn me into a young man I'd be pretty happy.

Thank you grammalady, Paris, Maker for your comments.  They make me feel (oh, that I guess is the bad part) they me FEEL.

[paris]

I think "feel" is a really good word.  Christmas time makes me "feel".  I feel fortunate, more loving, kinder, more appreciative.  The holidays have always been different for us and this year will be no different.  We have split families so children spend half the day with Mom then go to Dad's. We have a nurse and two who work for the airport, so they work holidays.  My husband will leave at 3 Christmas day to go to work.  I know I will spend the rest of the day. I don't want my kids to leave their familiies that day.  It will still be a wonderful day.  There are so many who won't have a warm place to be that day.   I have one son who is dealing with many issues and his solution right now is to walk away---I haven't said that outloud to anyone.  It is almost more than my heart can bear.  He lives 10 miles away and we rarely see him. His new wife refuses to ever come to our house. It has been a year since she walked into my house.  I love him and am extremely worried about him.  That's all -- I will break down if I say more. Money and lots of "stuff" doesn't fill your life.     So, "feel" is good --- and bad.  But, I think we need to feel the bad sometimes to really appreciate the good.   I don't come to tears often-----I keep big walls around my emotions, but Dan made a small dent in one wall today.

[bette1]

When I feel overwhelmed with my situatuation, I start to think of the things that I can be thankful for.  Sometimes I have to start with I woke up this morning.  It may sound trivial, but this has gotten me through some tough times.

Right now my hubby is out of work, my dad has stage 5 cancer, and I'm on the big D.  But I truely feel greatful for what I have.  I have a husband who loves me, I have had 42 great years with my Dad, and he isn't in any pain, and I live in a country where everyone who wants dialysis can get it.

I count my blessings every day.

[paris]

When I feel overwhelmed with my situatuation, I start to think of the things that I can be thankful for.  Sometimes I have to start with I woke up this morning.  It may sound trivial, but this has gotten me through some tough times.

Right now my hubby is out of work, my dad has stage 5 cancer, and I'm on the big D.  But I truely feel greatful for what I have.  I have a husband who loves me, I have had 42 great years with my Dad, and he isn't in any pain, and I live in a country where everyone who wants dialysis can get it.

I count my blessings every day.

And everyone in the house says "Amen!"   Lovely post.   

[MIbarra]

Good thread DW! LOVE it!

When I first started dialysis I was scared and felt alone. Even though I have my husband, we were going through a rough patch and dialysis just made it worse. I don't have family here either so I felt quite isolated. No one knew what I was going through. What made me keep going was the thought that it could be worse - just like Dan, Aleta, and others have stated. It always helped to remember that there were others facing more challenges than me and that I needed to stop feeling so sorry for myself. And of course, the pets were a great reason to keep getting up in the morning and keep going to treatments, because who else would treat my babies like I do? I had to stay alive for them.

[dwcrawford]

Bette1, I am totally grateful for your post.  There's nothing more I can say as it speaks wonders.  I'm predicting a great holiday season.

And Manuela, I knew you'd bring those two little rodents that you call dogs into this somehow.  lol  And we both know that between the two of them they wouldn't make a decent pot of Menudo....  But then I told you I could and would say something silly if it gets too heavy.  This is great.

[Jill D.]

Positive thinking is always best for your physical and mental health. Sure I have problems (which I call "challenges") and the truth is my blessings far exceed my challenges. 

[Jean]

Dan, what a beautiful and thoughtful post. Very appropriate at this time of year. I have only my daughter and husband close by, but Christmas Day is always lighted up with the rest of the step-children calling me. Yes, it could be worse. I could be alone, or with some awful man, but I have my wonderful husband, a nice home, and many friends. And many of them are on IHD. God Bless all of the members, who are so quick to come to the aid of others. This is a wonderful place, and I am grateful for it. Have a merry merry Christmas all of you, as we celebrate the real " reason for the season"

[Mizar]

The Day before Thanksgiving, I sat down with, My Coffee and the Newspaper. The Big Fat One, that always, comes on that Day. I Poured over, every Sale Paper and saw a Lot of things, I WANTED, but not one Thing, I NEEDED. I feel Blessed.

[YLGuy]

My situation is easy.  I am blessed with three healthy, beautiful, smart, good children.  I am following 2 children in my town the same age as my youngest with there fight with cancer.  One of the little girls used to cheer for my son's football team.  I know that their parent's would much rather be sick then their little ones.  I am lucky it is my illness I am dealing with.  I am lucky it is my kidneys, not my liver or something worse(there are a lot of things that are worse).  I am lucky that I have such wonderful caring friends that are there for me.  I am lucky that Epoman started such a great website and I stumbled across it one evening.  I have had some VERY crappy things happen to me throughout my life but we all have a story and cannot dwell on what we don't have.  My one brother does that and has been an bitter alcoholic his whole adult life.  Yes, it could be worse but all in all...I have it pretty darn good!

[del]

What a thought provoking post dw!!  I was reading down through and tears came to my eyes ( my husband teases that it doesn't take much to make me bawl!!) .  I for one have many things to be thankful for.  There are many things I may want but not one thing I need!!  I have a wonderful husband, friends, a warm house, a fantastic job, and I love life.  Especially at Christmas time I think of all the people, especially children, who live in a part of the world where they do not have many of the things  they need to survive. I often say to my students how lucky they are to live in a part of the world where they have the freedom to go outside and play whenever they want to without any fears.  We sometimes feel  like things are really bad but look at the big picture and see how fortunate we are to live in a part of the world where we have access to medical treatment, freedom to do what we want, plenty to eat, a place to live and many other things that people in some parts of the world do not have.  We are truly blessed!!

[willowtreewren]

The Day before Thanksgiving, I sat down with, My Coffee and the Newspaper. The Big Fat One, that always, comes on that Day. I Poured over, every Sale Paper and saw a Lot of things, I WANTED, but not one Thing, I NEEDED. I feel Blessed.

Exactly! 

Dan, look at all the wonderful things you have brought to us. The things that really count. Things like self-reflection, gratitude, acceptance, and inner peace.

I am thankful every day for IHD. And it is because of all you wonderful people.

Thanks, Dan. 

[MissyKew]

I have been sick all my life...asthma, depression, eating disorders, complete paralysis and two types of cancer all before ending up on dialysis.  How do I deal with it?  With my first cancer I went to a support group that helped a great deal.  For the last five years or so, I have been in counseling.  I finally found an antidepressant that works.  When it started to work there was this odd feeling of something was missing...yes...the sadness was missing.  It was leaving. Bless the psychiatrist that prescribed the drug for me.  For me, being sick is normal for me so I go one day at a time and I try to keep a sense of humor.  If you can't laugh, then you are lost.  I go one day at a time.  And like all of you have noted, there is always someone worse off than we are.  I have heat, warmth, food and treatment.  i am damn lucky.  And I remember the saying about how awful it was to walk in my shoes till I saw a man with no feet.  As long as I am in this world, it is a good day.

[Lillupie]

THe one thing i can be thankful for is being able to look forward to one day reaching out to people about kidney disease though my book!
 That I have found a dialysis center that actually lets me come in a sit and talk to patients! There is one special guy there that I kind of have an attraction to. I guess befcause i feel so bad for him. He is in really bad shape, one person I know of in person who has had to worse then me! He is 37 years old, been on dialysis for 11 years. Sister gave him a kidney 9 years ago, failed after 4 months, had to have it taken out, his phosphorus has been as high as 13.1 for 5-6 years. Last year at 35 he had a stroke, and now has to walk with a cane and hunched over because he is in soo much pain. he is even able to get the card for medical marijuana.
 In the begining he broke up with his girlfriend, he missed dialysis for 2 weeks, and now has an enlarged heart.

I am also thankful for the fact that being on dialysis and not being able to work I still get paid with disability. Its not much, but it is better then nothing. My daughters father takes her every other week and it gives me a break. I live wtih my mom and my grandmother so i am not having to worry too much about the bills.

thats me,
Lisa

[kitkatz]

Tonight I was talking with my husband and told him: Despite everything that has happened to me in my life, abuse physically. mentally and spiritually, and the illnesses that I have dealt with....I know what I know deep inside of me. I cannot explain what I know, I just know that I know."

[fc2821]

      I like this discussion, many great comments.  When I was growing up my grandmother use to always tell me not to complain "because it could always be worse, be glad what you have and do your best to get by."  Something I have always done. And these last few years it has come in handy.

     I think Missykew said it best though:  "As long as I am in this world, it is a good day."   
     

[paris]

It is wonderful to read how much people feel they are blessed, even with many challenges.   Life is full of blessings and I am grateful.   

[fc2821]

Tonight I was talking with my husband and told him: Despite everything that has happened to me in my life, abuse physically. mentally and spiritually, and the illnesses that I have dealt with....I know what I know deep inside of me. I cannot explain what I know, I just know that I know."

.       I understand, and I know others do too.

[glitter]

This has been such a long sad year for me- but in spite of it all- I still have my 2 girls and my health. About three months ago- I decided I didn't want to be so sad I couldn't think of the memories with my husband without crying. I try very hard to be happy. I just wanted to be able to enjoy those memories, I mean, I still cry sure enough, but I can think of him now and I am so grateful for that. This is my first Christmas without him, and we are honoring his memory in every way we can. This past year has made me question my faith- my lack of faith- I have been an agnostic for 20 years, and this year with its lack of hope has made me question my feelings about that.....I have lost every material thing I had this year, my home and most of my 'things' and it has not really bothered me-its just stuff that means nothing. I knew that before he died, I live knowing what matters most, and I am so glad I shared that with him. Even as we prepare for this Christmas without him- there is still joy in my home.