Very self conscience

[Lilu323]

Hi guys,
I need some advice. Im a 30yrs old and Im getting really self conscience about my fistula arm. I am 4"11 100lbs and curvy. My arm is getting all bumpy and needle marks all over. I hate the way it looks. I am also going to California next year and I dont know what to wear or put on to cover my arm. I wanted to wear tank tops. Is there a wrap or a arm scarf that is made just for that? Also if it is waterproof. Thank you so much for your time. hoepfully this will help me

[pamster42000]

I was looking on the internet and maybe this site could help???

medcareproducts.com/castcovers

It's worth a shot to check it out. I was reading where they have a cover that is waterproof and you can go swimming.

Let me know how it goes if you check it out.

Pam

[Brianna!]

I understand COMPLETELY how you feel. I'm also 4'11! But i'm 16. I feel so self conscience about the fistula. If you find a solution to cover up the fistula, let me know! I would like a solution too! haha

[pamster42000]

Well you guys this is a chance to put our minds together and invent something to cover the fistula. We'd all be millionaires!!! 

My daughter, Sarah had a fistula for about six years and it got rather large with bumps etc. She never complained to me about it bothering her...but gee noone ever tells their Mom about stuff! I know her friends liked feeling it...they joked about it. She had a good support group with her friends.

[lizabee]

I have a graft but it shows as well, I was really self conscious about it but I just don't care anymore.  I have to constantly answer questions about what is wrong with my arm, but I am wearing all the same clothes, it just took me a while to adjust to it being seen.  Good luck!

[*kana*]

This isn't water proof but when I had a removable cast on my arm they also gave me a white kind of spandexy/ sock type cover for it.  If/when my PD stops working I plan on making some of those to cover my arm.   

[RichardMEL]

curvy huh? oooh... I like *drool* oh wait, sorry.. I got distracted..... 

Yeah my fistula is on my lower arm/wrist and is big and bumpy (you know what they say about men with a big throbing fistula don't you???  ) with all the needle holes and the like.

I don't care.

I understand being self conscious, specially for a curvy young lady (oops, there's that drool again  ) but it is coming into the warm summertime here and I wear a short sleeved shirt or tshirt all the time and frankly if people want to stare and think I'm a drug addict or something - LET THEM!! I mean people look at others all the time and judge on anything from hairstyle to body size to clothes.. what's one other thing? Besides if they keep their thoughts to themselves that's fine I'll never know will I? The people that matter to me know what the deal is and that's all that counts.

Once or twice I've had people ask me what happened to my arm - mostly when I've just come out of dialysis and have the tape and gause over the exit sites(so it's more obvious) and that's ok.. at least someone noticed I had the bandages and wanted to know if I was OK - that's not offensive. One guy in a fast food place though just came right up to me and said "hey mate what happened to your arm?" and I said "oh that's for dialysis" and he said "oh" and kind of went off. I have no idea if he had any clue what it was about, but he wasn't rude about it - I honestly think it was curiousity rather than "hey look at the guy with the weird deformed arm" thing. That was OK.

Besides, if they're distracted looking at my franken-arm and not my face that's a good thing - my arm's prettier!!! 

I guess what I'm trying to say to you is try and feel free to be yourself and try not to worry about what others might think. Why should YOU cover up and all that because of what others might see? (besides you're really not supposed to have anything tight over the fistula anyway). I just think of it as part of me now indeed I ignore it most of the time.

Besides, they will all be checking out your curves not your bumps!!! WOO HOO!! 

[Melissa]

Richard you are bad!!!!  Focus!

Lilu,
I am 5 feet, 100lbs and hate my fistula sometimes too.  I had my first at 15 and was SO embarassed by it, but at that time I lived in MA and it was winter!
 Anyway, I just moved from CA....lived there for many years (LA and SF) and I can tell you anything goes.  I hope you can find something to cover it so you will feel better, but if you can't I think you should wear those tank tops anyway!  I did, and I never got a question, maybe some looks, but mostly people are into their own things, and there are SO many interesting people and things to look at there....your arm will probably not be distracting.

I also used to wear a light scarf that could drape a little over my arm, carry a bag on that arm, wear some lose bangles or light, gauzy long sleeve tees.  If you are going in the winter, you can dress with more layers even though it's warm there.

Oh, do you ever watch Top Chef?  The host, Padma Lakshmi (Sp?), a model, has some type of crazy long scar on her arm, but she never has covered it and I figure if she can bare it on national TV then we can too.  Of course hers is not a bumpy fistula, but it's something....

Have a fun trip!

[RightSide]

I'm confused.

Are you worried about getting water on your fistula?  Or are you just worried about its cosmetic appearance?

If it's the latter, then you should look into a professional makeup artist kit.  You know, the kind that professional actors use.  You can put on just the right shade of makeup to conceal some of those hype marks while you're wearing tank tops or whatnot.

And yes, at the beach, you can put on one of those waterproof casts.

[Jean]

Honey, I live in Southern California and believe me, your arm will not be noticed. Now, if you want to be noticed, you can dye your hair 3 different colors, or pierce every part of your body or have a bunch of tattoos put on your body. Seriously tho, I do understand, and what would the problem be to have a bunch of matching scarves, and have one loosely tied over your fistula? I was seriously thinking about that.

[jennyc]

I've just had mine put in and i'm determined to not be ashamed of it. I honestly cannot cover it. I have the mindset that if i do it shows my son i'm ashamed of who i am and since this started when he was born i don't want him to wake up in a few years thinking i blame him. I'm worried that by hiding it, when he is old enough to understand he'll take it as me regretting having him or something like that, you know how sensitive kids are.

What's with the waterproof dressings? Can't you go swimming with the fistula without covering it? I knew a guy years ago who chose hemo just becuase he and his g/f were surfers.

[RichardMEL]

there is no problem to swim with your fistula.

Maybe the question was regarding dressings post dialysis? I wouldn't swim with them on, but then again after dialysis I tend to nap, sleep and take off the seals the next morning.

I've swum quite a few times with my fistula - no issue!

[jennyc]

Thanks Richard, huge relief. Swimming was my 'silver lining' for going onto hemo

[RichardMEL]

Thanks Richard, huge relief. Swimming was my 'silver lining' for going onto hemo

girls in bikinis works for me too.... 

[texasstyle]

On days when the appearance of your fistula has got you down, remember that's YOUR lifeline. It provides you life and that is most BEAUTIFUL! That's what I think of when I look at my husbands.

[glitter]

I know i dont have one myself- but I also thought that my husbands was beautiful, I was really proud of it. I know people are ignorant jerks who blurt out insensitive comments about things like this- now that I know what it is though- seeing someone elses fistula in the future (say- in the grocery store or something) I will not comment anywhere but in my own mind, but I will say to myself how beautiful it is, and be glad its helping someone live. So you never know what people are thinking.   

[Pam]

Have you tried button holes? I have an upper arm fistula. Only have 2 little bumps and no bruising at all. I wear short sleeve shirts all the time and if any one has looked at me funny I never noticed and no one has ever said any thing about it.

Pam

[kitkatz]

If anyone in California asks about it tell them it was a shark bite!