Ugh. I'm really upset right now.

[Brianna!]

My family usually goes on a family trip every year like to jamica or something for the family's christmas present. Since I wouldn't be able to go this year, they said that if I wanted, I could have plastic surgery on my scars for my christmas present. I said alright, i'll have it on the thick little scar on my left arm (fistula never took) but I think I would have to wait on the huge nasty scar on my right one, because it might mess up the fistula. That scar on the working fistula is huge, and nasty and it hurts so bad. I just want it to go away. It goes from my elbow to my armpit.

The next day I told my nurse about it, and she agreed that I need to wait untill after transplant to get surgery on that scar. Then she said "you should be proud of your lifeline scar." EXCUSE ME? You don't have this huge scar on your arm, that's so gross looking. If you had that scar I'm sure you would want something done to it. I really don't care if i'm being vain about it. I don't like people starting at the scar and just ugh. I have other scars like on my back and stomach that are just as bad, but i'm not doing anything about those. My nurses don't understand.

And my grandparents called today and said the surgery would be 7,000 dollars!!! So I don't think they're gonna do that for me anymore. The scar is only like 3 inches long. I know i'm being vain. I can't help it though.

I wish I was told more about PD. I would have gladly taken that over hemo. Then I wouldn't have these scars. They never really told me about PD I didn't really have the choice.

That's it really. I'm done for now.

[calypso]

So sorry to hear about what you're going through. I too was never told by my nephrologist ( or anyone else for that matter) about PD. It's only cause I went on the internet and researched everything I could find on ESRD after I was diagnosed (but not yet on D) that I stumbled across PD and asked about it.

I was diagnosed in 1999, was told I still have residual kidney function but that it would decline and I would need dialysis at some point. Around 2003 is when my bloodwork showed I needed to start some form of D soon. I chose PD and did that for 6 years. Now it's Oct. 2009 and I am recuperating from peritonitis, doing in center hemo. Hopefully will go back on PD at some point.

Question: If a scar hurts, is it not covered by insurance to get that fixed?

[Brianna!]

Right after I posted this my mom told me that insurance might cover it. But I don't know. I would think it would be covered, because it's plastic surgery. But maybe. They're going to look into it. I hope you get to go back to PD. Hemo does really suck. From all I heard about PD it sounds like having a normal kidney. at least as close as you can get to a normal kidney.

[calypso]

Good luck I hope they do cover it, they should!

Yes PD was great for me the last 6 years, I could eat almost anything, do almost anything. I long for those days again.

[Brianna!]

I would so switch to PD if it wasn't for the scars I have. It would be like having the scars for nothing. My aunt had cancer and she had plastic surgery on her port scar, and my mom just got off the phone with her, and she said insurance covered hers. Her scar was so little it was like a inch long. You could barely see it, and I don't see any difference in it now.

[paris]

Brianna, I know how upsetting the scars can be.  My daughter at 19 had a tumor on her tyroid.  It was the size of a plum. The scar she was left with is about 6 inches right across her throat.  Looks like someone tried to slice her throat!  Then, as it healed, she developed keloids so the scar was not only long, but thick. She had plastic surgery.   It is better, but still almost the first thing people notice.  Time has helped her accept it and she forgets about it now. Kind of hard not to notice it because there is no way to cover it up.   I guess I am saying, give it more time. Focus on the good things happening.  We are all vain.  Hoping you get the answers you want      

[RichardMEL]

Brianna, I can only partially understand your scar issues - I don't have any (apart from the one I have associated with my fistula creation, which is just near my wrist and doesn't bother me). I would think insurance would cover it because it's not like a boob job or something.. the scar is related to a medical procedure that you didn't exactly want in the first place - I think they SHOULD pay - but it's not an area I really have any understanding in.

Just on the nurses POV.. I can sort of understand what they are saying - though it is a bit twisted. I know if I ever get a transplant I would be VERY proud of having a big scar there to .. well not show off.. but I'd have no problem going topless by the pool to show it (well I would given we have to stay out of the sun, but you get my drift). I would be more than happy to explain THAT scar to anyone and if people want to look and stare and make their own assumptions fine.. they can think what they like!! In the same vein (yes that's a sort of pun!  ) I don't care about wearing a short sleeve top when it is warm which shows my fistula with needle holes and lumps and all that stuff. I am sure uninformed people see it and think I'm a drug user!! I don't care! Let them think whatever they like - people do it all the time about others they see - and not about scars or fistulas or whatever. If I don't know them and won't ever talk to them what do I care what they think? Anyway back to the nurses comment about being "proud" of your lifeline scars... I think they mean it sort of like I feel about my potential transplant scar... it's related to keeping you alive... I guess it's better to have a working fistula with a scar than nothing at all?!! like I say it is a bit twisted and seems a bit insensitive to put it like that though and I can understand you're upset by it.. but it's just their opinion. What counts is how YOU feel. Maybe you can get the surgery and help get the scars fixed up - that would be great obviously!

try to not let what the nurse said upset you - like I said it's just a viewpoint.

 

(hopefully you can get that transplant soon and be on the beach next year with your family!!! well.. covered up on the beach.. uigh!!

[RightSide]

Yeah, that "Be proud of your lifeline" jazz is just a rationalization.  Let's see one of the caregivers volunteer to have one put in--we'll see how proud SHE is of it.

They even use that "lifeline" jazz with hemo catheters.  I told my nurse how much I hated the thing.  She said "Well, it's your lifeline."  I replied, "If it's my 'lifeline,' then how come it's made out of cheap plastic?  Is that all I'm worth?"  No answer.

[peleroja]

Does it have to be surgery?  I know there are products on the market to minimize scars.  Wouldn't surgery to remove a scar leave another scar?  Apologies if I'm just not understanding correctly.

[stopcomplainin]

Hey chin up buttercup!!!!  The scars are frustrating, but they are lifelines.  Take it from someone who had 6 (3 on each arm) failed fistula / graft attempts.  I have the scars and none of them work...  I am vain too - I had sick arms when this all started AND now i look like i just came out of the suicide wing at the hospital.  But I am alive and blessed to be.  When people ask or look in the event the peek out - I just tell them they shoulda seen the other guy.

[Brianna!]

It's not really removing the scar, it's just making it less noticable. I know there are creams and stuff to make the scars less noticable, but I tried that and I can't find anything that works. I got that big long scar right before school ended, and I kept the wrap on it, untill school was done. Kids can be cruel. They ask too many questions. I'm not comfortable telling the other people at my school about dialysis and stuff. I hate pity, and the people I have told, they just say "I feel so bad for you."  I don't go to that school anymore. I do online school, since my fistula is in my right arm, and that's my writing hand. So It would be a little hard to do homework with the fistula in. Thanks for the support guys. =]

[Dana Renee]

Im so sorry to hear about your scars and to hear that it bothers you so much. I cant say I know how you feel becuase I have never had a graft or fistula. My nephrologist was very adamant on me getting one but I have a huge phobia of needles so I refused. I wasnt told about PD right away eaither, I had a permacath. Suddenly though I started becomeing very ill duting hemo treatments and they found out my permacath was infected and the infection was in my heart and caused a blood clot so I had to have open heart surgery. After that my nephrologist really tried to push me to get a graft or fistula after I adamantly refused for a month or town then I was told about PD by the social worker at my center, I was leary of it at first but it sounded better to me then getting stuck with needles. I do have some scars on my body of course from the heart surgery and on my abdomen from the surgery to put my catheter for PD in place, and I hate the scars so I can kind of see how you feel, however I can cover them under my clothing. It isnt too late for you wo switch to PD now though I believe you may like it better, and I ve heard that your grafts and fistulas start to look better once theyre no longer being used. Im not saying that the scars will fade completely but may get better. Also I put Bio Oil and Cocoa Butter Scar serum on my scars and it seems to be lightening thier appearance. And I understand what youre saying about not liking your lifeline scar, however it truley is a symbol of the strength you have inside to be able to stay strong through a situation like this.