I am really sad and depressed today!

[Des]

A month ago I told you's that I was promoted to another position.... well I found out Friday that it is actually a demotion.  It is because of my possible nephrectomy/ transplant in Jan. THIS SUCKS! I know the company must make alternative plans but I DON'T WANT THIS. I have worked hard to get where I am today. The other position is definately a lower post ... they are not dropping my salary but they want me to vacate my office and that was when I smelt the rat!

Life is just not fair.... I don't want this disease any more.... I Just don't... I just want to jump up and down like a 2 year old.... no ! no!no! I wish I never new I had it....

RM you can tell me that it is just a start of something new..... it is not..... something is dying. And I can do nothing but watch it going down down down and down .
I really thought I can handle this ... but I can't.  I am crying so badly now that I can hardly see the screen........
I will continue later.....   

[okarol]

  Des, I am sorry, take care.

[willowtreewren]

Oh, Des,
Arms reaching way across the ocean to hold you....

 

Let the tears out. Then lift you head high and SHOW THEM! 

With much caring,

Aleta

[peleroja]

I understand; it is tough to realize you are no longer the same.  That is, however, not to say you're no longer normal.  You are still you, just tweaked a little bit.  Rather than dwelling on who you "no longer are," try concentrating on who you are becoming.  Every night I recount to myself what I accomplished that day.  Some days I get out of bed and veg on the couch all day, with occasional potty and food breaks.  Other days I wash dishes, do laundry, buy groceries, dine out, whatever.  It's easy to find the not so good stuff in your life, and kinda tough to find the good stuff.  I don't use the word bad any more, just good and not so good.  Now that the pep talk is over, I'm sending you tons of warm fuzzies to help get you out of your funk!    

[billybags]

Des oh Des what a shitter, is there no one at work you can talk to about this. OK you have a kidney disease, you are sorting it, you are staying a live with help, surely they should try to accommodate you. What sort of company do you work for? It must be really frustrating working so hard for a particular job and then they do that. Please try and talk to someone, explain your position. Let them know how you feel .Let them know you are having a transplant but you will not be away from work longer than it takes. I send you lots of hugs, I will be thinking about you. Dry your eyes, things could be worse, none of us on here like what we have to do to stay alive, but stay alive we do. Look around and see all the  children that have the disease, think what future they will have.

[Goofy]

I'm sorry to hear about your job.  I can't even imagine how you feel.  You're right, this disease really stinks.

We all want to be productive human beings.  We want to live normal lives but with what happened to you makes us realize we have more obstacles in life then others.  Sometimes I look at it from the perspective that if I had a choice to pick an organ to replace, I'd pick the kidney.  At least we have more of a chance to survive that someone needing a heart or a liver.

I'll say a prayer for you that things turn out well.  I truly believe things happen for a reason and hopefully in time, you'll find out what that reason is for your job change.

Hang in there!

[Goofy]

I forgot to mention.........perhaps they need some "education" on people with kidney disease.  Maybe they have never dealt with this before.  If they haven't, its up to you to let them know exactly what its all about.

Maybe there is some way to give them information regarding your situation.  There should be plenty of articles that would support that people with kidney disease can still live a "normal" life. (there I go again with doing research). 

Stick up for yourself.  You said the only thing you can do is watch everything go down, down, down.  THAT'S NOT TRUE.  You can try and help your situation.  Education, education, education.  I can't say it enough!   Prove to them you can handle whatever they ask.  Ask them to give you a chance!

[KICKSTART]

Des , you jump up and down and why the hell not , if i could i would jump up and down every dam day. You have every right to be angry , this bloody disease brings nothing but frustration and never lets up. The only thing i can say that might make you feel a bit better is ..do they have tribunals out there? Isnt it discrimination ? Maybe you can do some research that will re direct your anger. Hugs n kisses arent going to sort this out , you know i would be the first to send them , maybe some positive action against your employers will !!

[kristina]

A few days ago I listened to a Radio program
and they reported about the changes
taking place in South Africa.
I do hope you find your way through this
and I send you my best wishes.
Take care, Kristina.

[dwcrawford]

Des, I'm not nearly so elegant with words nor as inspiring as RM, but I do think this is beginning of something big and better for you.  It may feel like pure s**t right now but the truth is you have a strong spirit and I believe that the world has something waiting for you out there.  Keep ranting for now though.  Get it all out.  Thank goodness for your beautiful family there to support you.

[RichardMEL]

Actually I was kind of bemused to see the comment specifically directed at me - I'm not sure if that means I have reached a scary level of infamy or not (but this is NOT about me anyway!!).

However I'd just like to say I *wouldn't* say "this is the start of something new" in this case because I believe it is poor treatment. I don't remember how the new position was couched to you in the first place (and I don't have time just now to search for the earlier thread on it) but it seems to me that an employer should work *with* you in such a situation, and not shaft you sideways or downwards like some kind of liability.

In my own situation - even before I started dialysis I was up front with my bosses about what that would entail, and they were (and continue to be) very supportive of the whole thing. They know I work as much as I am able, and I don't leave before 12 on D days to go home and put my feet up They understand I'd rather be at work but I have no choice. With respect to possible transplant they've said to me for a number of years now "don't YOU worry about work or that. YOU get the transplant! That's what we want. Whatever time you need to deal with that is OK - we'll manage - you just concentrate on that when it happens" - and I know I am VERY lucky to have such an understanding employer in these tough economic times.

It seems almost insulting to have to give up your office now?!! Oh yes, they are keeping your pay level which is *something* but it DOES seem unfair to me, and I do not blame you one bit for feeling angry and depressed about it.

I wonder to try and be constructive (but it seems a bit late, specially if you formally accepted your "new" position) if it is possible to go to your managers and discuss the situation with them. Explain how you're not an invalid and feel like you've been unfairly treated. It may also be a possible grounds for a discrimination hearing? I am not certain but here in Australia at least there are various avenues you can take in that regard (though their argument almost certainly will be that your pay is the same and you have not suffered a lowering of your circumstance in that regard). It might be worth looking into though. Perhaps your unit social worker might also have some ideas as to how to help.

I think it's shitty and I'm not surprised you're upset - I would be too!! I hope something positive can be resolved out of this (and specially IF you get a transplant that works out you'd be able to do your job again full time!!!) 

infamously yours,
RichardMEL

[lizabee]

Sorry to hear about your job, I hope everything works out and good luck to you in Jan!  I just had a Nephrectomy 2 weeks ago...

[Jean]

Oh, Des, I am so sorry to hear that. My first thought was, oh no, no transplant. This is just as shitty tho. The thing that is hurting you the most right now is your pride. I can really understand that. Maybe I am thinking if you went to your boss and cleared the air with him ( or her ). A lot of people dont understand what is going on with you. I am so sorry this happened to you, and I hope you overcome it and show them just who is the more qualified person for the job you want.

[rookiegirl]

Des - sorry this is happening to you.  It's bad enough we have to live with this disease and have to battle the rest of the world too.  Hang in there and don't let this get you down.  Just know that you are not alone.

[Des]

THANKS ALL for your encouriging words....

I have spoken to my boss and educated him on the kidney disease and I have explained to him how I feel. His reply was: " It is just a chair , I can't see why you are so upset"

Well I am not taking this lying down.... I contacted the CCMA (workers protection) and they agree that it was discrimination. The company is allowed to move me if my work quality drops or if I cannot perform but it has to be in writing and it has to be temporary.

Luckily for me I have not signed anything- as they have not given me anything in writing... so I requested my boss to give me the proposal and reason in writing so that I can send it to the CCMA and they will now fight on my behalf.
I am still crying and upset..... but I am now angry as hell! Now they better watch out !!!!!

I don't know how I would have gotton through this kidney disease without you guys and gals!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING THERE!!

[RichardMEL]

oh that is awesome you could get some support from the CCMA folks - that's exactly the sort of thing I was thinking of!! See they are on your side, and that is very good for you i think. I hope your boss sees sense on this!!!

 

[tamara]

Hey I know what this is like. Being made "redundant" 4 weeks after my kidney transplant. About to go back to work, hey don't bother we dont need you.
Be careful, what I foundd with some workplaces through my kidney failure journey is that you may have "workers protection" on board but watch your back some companies make it awkward in other ways.

Here's to taking them on as long as it suits you and makes it an enjoyable place for you to work in.............


Tamara xxx ooo

[billybags]

Des, good for you, dont take a back seat, give them "hell" See this through.

[willowtreewren]

 

Angry is GOOD! And good for you for taking the bull (boss) by the horns! You can do this!!!!

Rooting for you all the way, Des.

Aleta

[draven]

Just caught this post!!

Sorry to hear about the work situation Des

When i was able to go back to work in july, i got hold of my work. and they sent me a email stateing that if i am unable to keep up and
work the required 12 hours a day. they wont be needing my services!!!!! no sympathy or anything.

in 2007 I was also attacked and mugged going to work. i was reprimanded for being late for work. told them what happend.
there response was "its not there problem". ( i was attacked a further 2 times)

Joys of living in South Africa i guess.

[Chris]

Sorry to hear Des 
I just have any words of encouragement or something positive and funny to say right now. I hope you feel better soon by playing darts andd thrown the darts at people from work who are the rats.

[Sunny]

Des, they aren't treating you fairly at all. I'm glad you followed up on this with your boss and we'll see what he has to say about the whole thing. Employers can be so sneaky about how they go about dealing with people with disabilities.

[Des]

Thanks for all the posts......

the angry is subsiding .... and now I am just dissapointed that people don't really care about other people (not IHD) They don't care what you are going through or how you feel. They just think about "how is this affecting me"

I also heard that the rest of the ladies in the office don't even think I am really sick......

That's life.

[RichardMEL]

oh don't you love that? You're not sniffing, don't have a cast on your leg and your head isn't shaved so clearly you're "not sick" - in a way that's why i sometimes deliberately wear short sleeve shirts to work and show off my fistula so they can SEE the needle marks and the whole funky thing going on. They might think I'm a druggie, but I don't really care. It is frustrating to have people think you're not sick.. It's like when I go out and see people I haven't seen for awhile - the first thing they always say is "Oh you're looking so WELL!!" grrrr

[willowtreewren]

Kidney failure is an invisible disease! ARGH!

Thinking of you, Des.