I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Diet and Recipes => Topic started by: tbarrett2533 on June 16, 2011, 05:28:36 PM
-
(Warning......this is a HUGE rant and I am venting) :rant; :rant;
IF one more person asks me "What can you eat?" I will punch them in the face!!! :boxing;
I especially hate the people who ask me over and over and over what can I eat...... did they not hear me the first 16 times that they asked me 'what can I eat.'
I always tell people who ask, "Well there is more that I can't eat then I can."
Then I say (especially to my family) why don't you take just a few minutes to google "the renal diet" and you can learn so much just from doing that!! I mean for crying out loud sometimes if I see something I will remember it more than if I heard it...... I am TIRED of everything about kidney failure and the diet (along with being so tired all the time) is the WORST part of this crap!!
UGGGHHHH I hate it!! :Kit n Stik;
And I am so friggin thirsty I can't stand it (yes I avoid sodium and chew gum and do all the other stupid little tricks)
and god forbid if I were to drink more than 24 ozs of fluid b/c then my dialysis treatments are way friggin worst than they already are!!!!!!
I hate the diet and everything else about this and NO I will not "stay positive" sometimes you need to vent and speak what is on your mind and well that is what this is today!!!!
-
While I recognize that this is just a rant (and a very good one it is, too!) and that you're not asking for advice, I do have a suggestion that may help. The next time someone asks you what you can eat, you can say, "I can eat anything; I just have to be careful about portions." That's actually the truth. You won't die if you drink milk, but you can't drink three glasses a day, every day. We're given lists of foods to avoid; that doesn't mean the renal diet police will come and take you away if you indulge once in a while.
No one is going to do any research on the renal diet unless they are responsible for feeding you day in and day out. So don't bother getting all annoyed that your family won't educate themselves.
I don't have fluid restrictions yet, but I already know that those restrictions are going to be much harder for me than food restrictions. A great big rant about that is certainly justified.
-
That's okay, I understand. I still get ticked/bummed about the "renal diet" and I've been doing it for 10 months now. I still want to indulge in cheese everyday and drink milk all the time but I know, I can't. ::) However, I've lost a lot of weight and that makes me happy ;D
-
I love a good rant :2thumbsup; Now, i just hope it helped ya out a bit .................. and if not, RANT ON!! :flower;
-
Yes, portions are fine, what I hate is when people say aren't you not suppose to be eating that? drives me crazy!
-
Vent away, barret! We understand...all too well!
The best answer I ever found to intrusive questions like "What can you eat?" was something totally random and not the least bit serious. Try "Nothing but cardboard and school paste." That worked for me quite often.
For the "Are you supposed to eat that?" questions, the best answer is to point at their own plate. With luck, they are eating something salty, greasy or fattening. Smile sweetly and say "My doc approves this just as much your doctor would that."
Of course, if you are eating with health food paragon of virtue, a flat "No." whilst shoveling in a big spoonful with a look of bliss on your face works too.
Sarcasm - just another service those of us with ESRD can offer....
-
As a caregiver, I understand what you're feeling. I wanted to tell you that (hugs)
-
As a caregiver, I understand what you're feeling. I wanted to tell you that (hugs)
Texasstyle, I'd be very interested to know how you do the whole renal diet thing in your household. When you say you understand how barret is feeling, what do you mean? I know I am making an assumption in thinking that you probably do the cooking at your house (or is your hubby the chef at your maison? ;D), so if that is the case, do you eat what he eats, or do you make a different meal for yourself comprised of food items that you enjoy but he needs to avoid? Since I am the renal patient and I do the cooking, I am control of the meals, so I cook accordingly and my husband just eats it. He eats just beige food, so him overloading on vegetables (potassium) isn't a problem. ::) He likes meat, and since I need to keep to a pre-dialysis limit on protein, he just eats most of it, so no problem there. But I've often wondered how it works where the caregiver also makes the food. Do you stick to a renal diet so that your husband doesn't feel bad about his restrictions, or does he not really care one way or the other?
How do you other caregivers cope with the renal diet? Do you eat "restricted" foods in front of your renally-impaired loved one? Is that a source of conflict in your household? Some years ago, I got really mad at my husband when he plopped down on the couch next to me with a banana and a can of coke. It wasn't that I craved bananas and coke, rather, it was the notion that he was being dismissive of my predicament. I had a go at him, which wasn't my best moment, but I think it did me a lot of good because I got it out of my system, and now I don't really care.
-
My husband has no qualms about eating anything he wants in front of me, including pizza, Cokes, bananas etc. I usually just give him a dirty look and call him a *******, but that's just the way we roll around here. :beer1; I'm not going to begrudge him what he likes to eat just because I shouldn't partake.
-
My husband has no qualms about eating anything he wants in front of me, including pizza, Cokes, bananas etc. I usually just give him a dirty look and call him a *******, but that's just the way we roll around here. :beer1; I'm not going to begrudge him what he likes to eat just because I shouldn't partake.
But if he were the one with kidney problems, would you eat whatever you wanted in front of him?
-
I loved this rant, Tracy! As I'm not the one in my house with ESRD I can only imagine how horrid it must be to watch what you eat and limit your fluid intake.
For the "Are you supposed to eat that?" questions ...
I have to admit that I sometimes find myself saying this to Blokey ... *hangs head in shame* ...
a) How do you other caregivers cope with the renal diet? b) Do you eat "restricted" foods in front of your renally-impaired loved one? c) Is that a source of conflict in your household?
a) I cook; he eats. Simples. Blokey came home with a dialysis recipe book once but neither of us read it. We know which foods he's supposed to avoid and we're pretty good on making sure he does avoid them. He does eat anything he wants (a lot of things he's supposed to avoid are things he doesn't like anyway) but is careful about it (everything in moderation). I do nag him if I see he's sneakily eaten a frozen pizza or hidden something in the back of the fridge. I think that once I got quite tearful and demanded to know why he wanted to turn me into a young widow. However, his levels are usually neither too high nor too low, so he must be doing something right. As I started going to WeightWatchers at the same time his restrictions were imposed we both had to give up cheese together. That helped!
b) Yes. I love my broccoli, tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach and brussel sprouts and I eat them daily.
c) Nope. He hates broccoli, tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach and brussel sprouts.
;D
-
Probably, within reason. I do the cooking in the house, so I would make sure to follow the renal diet, within moderation. But then again, if I wanted ice cream or some such, I wouldn't stop eating it just because he couldn't. Again, that's just how we roll and YMMV. ;D
My husband has no qualms about eating anything he wants in front of me, including pizza, Cokes, bananas etc. I usually just give him a dirty look and call him a *******, but that's just the way we roll around here. :beer1; I'm not going to begrudge him what he likes to eat just because I shouldn't partake.
But if he were the one with kidney problems, would you eat whatever you wanted in front of him?
-
for us,,, it's pretty good because the things i LOVE he isn't that fond of so me eating a big bowl of veggies in front of him is no matter. I was a vegetarian for 30 years and now eating some meat. MEAT is what he has to eat lots of so it works ok. Now, i do miss LOTS of fruit. He can eat some, as he gets lower potassium, but it's still controlled and i don't like that i need to control that...And water, well i need lots and he needs little so that, along with chocklet , I'm good at sneaking...
-
My future mother in law is always making a scene and saying things like "R you should not be drinking that! Stop drinking!!" Good grief woman I am not 5 years old...I am a 27 year old woman and I will drink whatever the heck I want!!!
AAAaaahhhh!
I know how you feel!!!
xo,
R
-
Vent away, barret! We understand...all too well!
The best answer I ever found to intrusive questions like "What can you eat?" was something totally random and not the least bit serious. Try "Nothing but cardboard and school paste." That worked for me quite often.
For the "Are you supposed to eat that?" questions, the best answer is to point at their own plate. With luck, they are eating something salty, greasy or fattening. Smile sweetly and say "My doc approves this just as much your doctor would that."
Of course, if you are eating with health food paragon of virtue, a flat "No." whilst shoveling in a big spoonful with a look of bliss on your face works too.
Sarcasm - just another service those of us with ESRD can offer....
this was by far the BEST advice!!!! I love it!!! thank you sooooo much!!!!! :)
-
A warped sense of humor is the chronically ill person's best defense against the chronically stupid.... >:D
-
Absolutely agree!
-
A warped sense of humor is the chronically ill person's best defense against the chronically stupid.... >:D
you crack me up!! thank you :bandance; :thx;
-
Hi I understand how you feel, it is the not drinking that is driving me mad !! :Kit n Stik;
-
;D Your still going to have to deal with it even after you get a transplant. My transplant is about 8 months old and I still get people asking me "Can you eat that?" "Are you allowed to drink??"
I was at my primary care doc yesterday and she knows I have a new transplant...she asked me "Can you pee?, Do you still pee?" I laughed and said I better still pee with this new kidney. ;D
-
A warped sense of humor is the chronically ill person's best defense against the chronically stupid.... >:D
LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!!
Sounds like a future facebook status update!
xo,
R
-
My future mother in law is always making a scene and saying things like "R you should not be drinking that! Stop drinking!!" Good grief woman I am not 5 years old...I am a 27 year old woman and I will drink whatever the heck I want!!!
AAAaaahhhh!
I know how you feel!!!
xo,
R
I lived with my Mother in law when diagnosed, she hates me, so to make my life even more aggrivating she would take the diet and only cook what I coukldn't eat. Took about a week for us to catch on, then we stopped eating with her, Thank God we recently moved. Now the whole family eats my diet unless we go out to dinner.
-
I lived with my Mother in law when diagnosed, she hates me, so to make my life even more aggrivating she would take the diet and only cook what I coukldn't eat.
OMG, that's just appalling! What makes people do things like this? Unbelievable.
-
The first day my parents left my sister and I home alone together after I had been diagnosed as a juv. diabetic, my sister made a huge pan of brownies and sat in front of me eating them, groaning in pleasure and saying things like "Don't you wish you could still have these?" But, umm, hello, we were kids, not grown adults!
-
My step monster had my father convinced that I had somehow caused my own kidney failure.
That's why I have completely shut them out of my life.... they are dead to me.
-
My step monster had my father convinced that I had somehow caused my own kidney failure.
That's why I have completely shut them out of my life.... they are dead to me.
aw I am sorry... :'( :cuddle;
thank goodness I never had to deal with any step monsters!
xo,
R
-
Speak of the devil and she shall appear. >:D
I spoke to my mother earlier today and she said the step monster is in the hospital “ailing”
Karma is a b*tch.
-
My step monster had my father convinced that I had somehow caused my own kidney failure.
That's why I have completely shut them out of my life.... they are dead to me.
OMG, I'm a stepmother myself, and yours just feeds into the stereotype of "stepmonster". That's just horrible. But shame on your father for believing her.
-
MooseMom....I could tell you some serious messed up things this woman has done to me...she is just an evil person. period.
-
No offense to the good step moms out there :2thumbsup;
-
MooseMom....I could tell you some serious messed up things this woman has done to me...she is just an evil person. period.
Ooooh, do tell! :clap;
-
One of many that comes to mind is.....
My father was all set to get tested to be my 1st kidney donor....19 or so years ago. He had appointment's set up and all.. Over dinner one night my stepmonster said to him (in front of me) "Why are you gonna waste your kidney on her? If it were my daughter I wouldn't do it!" "Your crazy!"
By the end of dinner my father said to me "Yeah...maybe you should just go on the list." No kidney donor for me.
My mom ended up being my donor. She said to me "This is no different than if you had the flu and I had to stay up with you all night." "I am just gonna do what i need to to get you better." :cuddle;
Oh and after I came home to my own apartment to recover from my 1st transplant she never called me or came over to check on me nor did my father. She was PISSED at me because I didn't CALL HER to come over and take care of me.
She would have been the LAST person I called for help.
-
OMG, BrightSky, THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!!!!! Really, something is wrong with that woman. And what's up with your dad agreeing with her? That's even worse, IMHO. I mean, you're his daughter! This is just a shocking story.
-
I hear ya Moosemom - told ya she was evil. That's why I don't talk to them.
And I am sorry./...I didn't mean to take over here. Yes!! The renal diet sucks! Especially the no drinking....I was addicted to ice chips when I was on dialysis.
-
Yes,
for me righ now it is a struggle. THis horrible diet! I have been on this for four years and this is a nightmare. I cant believe how much food is out there that we are technically not allowed to have. IT is horrible! IT is now to the point that I am hardly eating one meal a day. THe last month I have lost 10lbs, now i only weigh less then 110lbs altogther, and that is with the PD fluid in.! I am not motivated to eat anymore. I mean what is the point there isnt anything that I like I am allowed to have. Im just sick of it all. There is no way I would ever do hemo, if i feel I cant eat anything on PD, there is a lot less food I can have on hemo.
Sick of the diet, sick of taking the damn pills everytime I eat something. So, I just dont eat. Im not hungry.
Oh well.
Lisa
-
I have been doing hemo since Apr 22nd, and I haven't really changed too much in my diet. I still need to eat more protein, which I don't mind at all, it's just getting in the habit of it that I'm trying to get used to. I don't watch my sodium like I should, and that does reflect in my BP and edema, although it appears that the edema is getting better. As for my K and phos, I've been "playing" with that. My June lab results for that were wonderful! My July results crept up on both, but thankfully not to alarming levels. So now I just need to come to a happy medium. I admit I was "pushing the boundaries" so to speak to see what would happen. Now I know. I get K and phos checked again on Tuesday.
I am a big believer in moderation. For example, I like trail mix. I don't eat it all the time, but it is a nice treat. Costco sells their trail mix in individual servings. That way, I don't have a big bag to keep eating from. Once I'm done with the single serving, I'm done. Heck, I brought Pringles to D last week. Even asked a nurse if she could get it from my bag for me, since I couldn't reach it. I didn't eat all of them! I even shared a few with one of the nurses!
Eating is a joy in life, and one I refuse to give up. I also happily bring in a bowl of clam chowder most days I do D. If I didn't, I'd starve and would be shaking at the end of my session. That's no good!
KarenInWA
-
Yes, I think the diet can definitely be modified to fit your particular needs. The best thing (and, really, the easiest thing) is to keep an eye on your labs because they will let you know how much you can and cannot eat.
I feel that moderation is the key because it is easier to be better nourished when you consume a wider variety of foods. I miss a lot of fruits, but I happen to love all berries and actually grow my own strawberries, raspberries and blueberries. I don't miss the oranges and bananas.
My husband loves his pasta, and that's a bit of a problem with all of the tomato sauces involved. And of course cheese is a problem. But if I'm going to allow myself a cheesy treat, I'm going to get myself the most extravagant, smelly cheese possible and not waste PO on cheese that isn't phosphorus-worthy.
I haven't had cola in years and I don't miss it.
I personally think that I will have the biggest problem with fluid restrictions, which is why I am going to do home hemo/nocturnal. I don't mind the diet, but the idea that one cannot do such a simple thing as drink a glass of ice water goes against all that is human. That's my personal line in the sand.